I have been seeing Number 225 katakata street for a while now but I just didn't feel the urge to check it out... was just bored one afternoon and decided to romance my boredom with another boring story(so I thought) to counter the claim that two wrongs doesn't make a right but Alas, I was left unanimously bewildered.



Walahi! Centino issa bomber, I just can't fathom how you manage to rally round Witchcraft, Controversies of Christianity, Politics, the unmistakably Mr Kingsley's Quotes and others...

You are now among my best Nairaland writers, with the likes of Souloho19 and TheBlessedMan.

I just finished my two days streak of reading right from the first page to the last, I almost shouted into consciousness when I discovered I'll now be waiting for updates and wouldn't enjoy the unlimited already posted episodes, it's worth waiting for though!

You are going places bro, very high that the sky will be a learner sef!

Emperortj93:
i have being on nairaland for the better part of a decade and everytime one good writer spring up, the next thing you read from everyone is "go publish", "open your own site and drive in traffic", blah the blah.
But the sad truth is after awhile, everyone abandon such writer. I can name 20 good (if not excellent) writers off the top of my head that followed said advice and nothing to show. Ask Frank3.17 how many book he sold when he first got published after all the hype and clamour or repogirl how many people visit her site after all the clamour. please centino, don't do it if you don't wanna.

I love the story and the writer alot and I don't want you to go like the rest

please don't talk about things you dont know about... Centino, as long as your work is great and you keep being consistent, your fans will follow you wherever you go.
This is not just about making money but reaching a larger audience, showcasing your work to the world outside of Nairaland, and of course getting rewarded for your effort.
Till today, I still have fans begging for updates, and I wish I could but alas, I have other things I'm into now. Lord knows the massive traffic my sites were receiving at the peak of my writing,
... Ask Zuby77 and later Nigerian writers hub.....

Writers like moskedapages, TM David West, Naijasinglegirl are doing so well with their websites and publishing. My advice to you is be consistent, and you will reap the rewards of your efforts.

Centino, take youngzubi's advice and make a name for yourself.

repogirl:


This is not just about making money but reaching a larger audience, showcasing your work to the world outside of Nairaland, and of course getting rewarded for your effort.
Till today, I still have fans begging for updates, and I wish I could but alas, I have other things I'm into now. Lord knows the massive traffic my sites were receiving at the peak of my writing,
... Ask Zuby77 and later Nigerian writers hub.....

Writers like moskedapages, TM David West, Naijasinglegirl are doing so well with their websites and publishing. My advice to you is be consistent, and you will reap the rewards of your efforts.

Centino, take youngzubi's advice and make a name for yourself.

Dunno if you're miss or mrs so i'll just address you as madam repogirl.
Abeg i need the concluding episodes of False Pretences.
What's the name of your website?
Can i get it there

Who knows another good writer here on nl, don't wanna waste my data on something not worth it

Centino:


Guy, borrow the characters. No wahala.

Starting your site and putting my story straightaway. Hmmmm.

I have always given permission to use my story if you will credit me as the author. That will not change now. But when I get my own site you will have to stop.

if u do need a website pls do contact me (08185835204)

It's Sunday!!!!

Centino,I don vex,I nor read again ooooo,I fit? Hahahaha

Essyprity:
Who knows another good writer here on nl, don't wanna waste my data on something not worth it

Essyprity....Check out these guys...

Souloho
Larrysun
Kimberlywest
TheBlessedMan
Ginaaaaa
Infant
D9ty7
Kayo80
Oyinyoung

These guys won't make your data a waste

Happy Sunday Sir CENTINO. I believe your muse is overlapping already. Abeg, na beg I de beg ooo, na this ur update go be your Birthday present to me and I go appreciate it well well.. it go make the birthday way fall on a Sunday enter well well.

I go like make u use loonnnggg update wish me longggg life and longgggg account balance in great future. Thank you bro. Happy Sunday again.

MrMacinterchi1:
I go like make u use loonnnggg update wish me longggg life and longgggg account balance in great future. Thank you bro. Happy Sunday again.

Happy birthday sir. Hopefully Oga Centino will never disappoint

MrMacinterchi1:
Happy Sunday Sir CENTINO. I believe your muse is overlapping already. Abeg, na beg I de beg ooo, na this ur update go be your Birthday present to me and I go appreciate it well well.. it go make the birthday way fall on a Sunday enter well well.

I go like make u use loonnnggg update wish me longggg life and longgggg account balance in great future. Thank you bro. Happy Sunday again.

Happy birthday man. Okay I go do as you talk. make I go put fisi for the one wey I don finish

Calamus I sight you. Answer my PM na.

phaphyz05, Benreu, Damoguy, hatchetman (24 hrs! wow!), AkieWillis and especially repogirl... I see y'all thanks.

Make I go finish today tori. BRB.

This your today tori be as e get if e nor get as e be o...been checking all day like its O2

Centino:


Happy birthday man. Okay I go do as you talk. make I go put fisi for the one wey I don finish

Calamus I sight you. Answer my PM na.

phaphyz05, Benreu, Damoguy, hatchetman (24 hrs! wow!), AkieWillis and especially repogirl... I see y'all thanks.

Make I go finish today tori. BRB.

Gbayi!
As if you know say i don dey carry cutlass come your house.
I think you no wan give us tori today ni.

Wetin de happen na? All these afonjas done make Centino change e mind...

Abeg broz Centino... Find time for your busy schedule update us even if na small. Na beg I de..

Pheezie:
Gbayi! As if you know say i don dey carry cutlass come your house. I think you no wan give us tori today ni.

centino ah de wait ooo

centino we are waiting ooooo.....

Centino:


Happy birthday man. Okay I go do as you talk. make I go put fisi for the one wey I don finish

Calamus I sight you. Answer my PM na.

phaphyz05, Benreu, Damoguy, hatchetman (24 hrs! wow!), AkieWillis and especially repogirl... I see y'all thanks.

Make I go finish today tori. BRB.

Boss! Mah first lie down in apology. Then I will run to my email anon!
No vex, I don't check the email often.

EDIT: I have sent a reply. Sorry, the mail went straight to the spam folder.
...and thanks for the week's piece. I have not read it but, for some strange reason, while scrolling for length, I saw "spread her legs" somewhere... two pictures...

THE SUSPECT


Castro touched his hip pocket. The ₦10,000 was there alright. It only threw his confidence sky high. Without a care in the world, he strode after Evae.

Evae knew he was coming. Her mother had just failed with his dad. She needed to restore their faith in themselves.
“Dad just told me. His son is after me. We have no time to waste. Go to the shop.”

Eyonyam put on a tshirt over her wrapper and left the room. Evae emerged soon after and Castro ‘bumped’ into her.

“You know Evae, I know what has been going on in this compound. I know all the so-called eligible bachelors are after you and you are due to give them an answer this week. I don’t know what they have said to you or what they have promised you, but right here before you is the man you need in your life. I may not marry you yet because I am still in my father’s house, but I can be your bae, your boo of life. We can enjoy youthful things together. What is even the rush sef to marry? Imagine being with a fat goat like Achike, if that one climbs you, he will use his big stomach and press your intestines out of your anus. Or is it The Undertaker? He will use borrowed grammar and confuse your destiny. Or is it that one eyed barber…let him not go and use blindness and put his dick in the wrong place. I even hear Josiah is interested…Kai I don suffer. That one that is stingy like Peter Obi. What you need in your life is a guy like me. Young and secretly successful. I have a lot of money but I don’t show it. I have to pretend so that all the hungry people in this compound will not render me poor. But for you Evae…be my babe and let me take you to the next level.

Evae chuckled and said, “Come.”

In a little over an hour Castro found himself sanding where his father earlier stood with a confused er*ction. And much like his father, the capacity to reason had fled from him the moment he stepped in through the door. Evae circled his neck with her arms, kissed him lightly on the lips, and said, “You say you have money?”

Her excellent expression startled Castro. But then, it was only fitting. She was an angel.

“I know what you are thinking. You are not the only one who can pretend.” She took two steps back and before Castro could blink she was stark n*ked.

“Now show me how rich you are.”

Castro nearly tore his trousers as he dug for the money.

“This is ₦10,000. It’s all yours. There is more where that came from.”

Evae collected the money and turned and lifted the pillow on the bed and placed it underneath.

Castro's head began to spin as he beheld Evae's behind. And so before he woke from the dream or Evae changed her mind he produced his rock hard er*ction and charged at her.

She knew from the moment she turned that he was going to do that. He was only a kid after all, and she did not have any time to waste either. As was typical of youth, as soon as he entered her she felt him vibrate, so she fell on the bed and rolled away just in time to see him shoot his seed all over their bed and wall.

“What have you done? I wasn’t even ready!”

“Oh sorry Evae. You are too beautiful. I couldn’t help myself.”

“I have to clean this mess before my father comes. You have put me in trouble.”

“I can help. Oh Evae… you are beautiful and sweet.”

“Get out. Get out and let me clean this place before my father comes.”

“Okay, okay. So I am now your boyfriend right? You will tell those men to go to hell, all of them abi?”

“Get out!”



Ndifreke rubbed his eyes and stayed still as consciousness returned to him. He had a slight headache but was fine otherwise. No dramatic symptoms as you’ll often hear of a hangover, especially for one that did not really drink.

“Bro, you only had two bottles of Star. If you had had Hennessey or even American Honey you would have known how far.”

“No. Instinctively I know that stuff is not for me. Looks like I will always settle for the green bottle if I must drink.”

“Bros only two bottles and I had to drag you here!”

“I knew my limit even before I started drinking,” Ndifreke said and they laughed.

“I did not want to ask but I hope that you feel better now. Whatever the reason was for you to drink.”

“Na woman wahala my friend. Maybe I overreacted or I’m over thinking. But another man dropped her off following a small misunderstanding. How am I supposed to react to that?”

“Well, woman matter…I no dey there. I only want to make money for now. When konji come, olosho five hundred naira straight. When I don hammer, them go dey send me their CV for twitter.”

“Lucky you. When did men start falling in love sef? Who was the first man to fall in love?”

“King Solomon.”

“But he had a thousand chicks. It could never have been love.”

“He fell in love a thousand times. That is just it. For a man, never love one woman otherwise, you become a wet newspaper. I learnt that a long time ago.”

Ndifreke scoffed.

“Women should love only one man. It is how they are. Men should love plenty women. That is how we are. Look at you now, getting drunk over one woman. Men of my father’s time will just dust their shorts and enter the hut of the other woman. When the first one’s crase subsided, she would go and beg. That was how nature intended it.”

“Thank you, son of your father. I chose love any day. One woman is enough headache.”

“One woman who knows it is just her. Give her rivals and see if she will not lick the ground you walk on.”

“This is 2019 brother.”

“Okay, See as you be now. I prefer life in 1920.”

They were quiet for a while and then Ndifreke said “I like it her brother. I have never slept in a compound in this Lagos where you are not hearing footsteps in the middle of the night or buckets scraping the well and all sorts of noises! Father deliver me from face-me-i-face-you.”

“This is the BQ. The landlord who is lives abroad stays in the main building when he comes to Nigeria.”

“You must be paying a fortune to live here.”

“Nope. Free of charge.”

“What?”

“I was first employed by the estate manager as the gateman here when I first came to Lagos. Then the owner of the house came from abroad and saw me. He said I was too good to be here. He got me the job I am doing now and said I could carry on living here for free. Only that I had to take care of the main house – clean, fumigate, and air the place out from time to time. They expanded the gatehouse for the new gateman.”

“You must have made quite an impression on him.”

“With my degree in English? Bros it was not difficult na.”

“Wow!”

“Meanwhile, I am traveling this morning to Uyo. Mumsy just had a surgery. Mastectomy. Breast cancer. She said she needs to see me.”

“Sorry about that brother.”

Ndifreke squinted to check the time on the wall clock. He did not want to turn on his phone. He did not want Maya to be able to reach him. He would see how she would feel in the morning when she realized that he had slept out. It was 3:45am.

“You must be getting ready then. You are taking a bus from Ojuelegba abi?”

“Yes.”

“Then I must get going soon.”

“No brother. Stay till day break. Lock the door and take the keys. I have spares. You need the early morning sleep.”

“Thank you.”



Josephine held Chisco’s hand as the neighbors dispersed and dragged him to her room.

“What is wrong with you Chisco?”

“Nothing Nurse.”

“Stop calling me that” she shouted and jumped into his arms and kissed him hungrily. Chisco held her to his body by her ass and responded to her kisses and when she stopped to catch her breath, he dropped her and guided her to a sitting position on the bed.

“What kind of a man are you Chisco?”

“I dey normal nurse. I tell you say I know my size.”

“For heaven sake shut up!”

“Okay.”

“Why have you been avoiding me? Okay I understand you didn’t want to move in with me. Fair enough. But you came back and made sure our paths did not cross. How did I offend you Chisco? My champion?”

“I dey Wasiu house.”

“I know.”

“And you know wetin happen with you and Wasiu.”

“Forget about that.”

“Wasiu go soon come back.”

“And so fvcking what?”

“E get as e be.”

“Wasiu took advantage of me. He should be ashamed of himself. But you, my champion, have me on merit. I will choose you over and over again. Luckily I don’thave to come to that room to see you. You can always come here. Wasiu should be locked up for what he did.”

“But that second night you wait for am nurse. I hear you say ‘fvck me again you fool’.

“Chisco I was weak. I was hurting. I was a victim. Sometimes rape victims behave like that.” She looked away when she said that. Chisco knew she was not being truthful.

“Look Chisco. Wasiu is an unfortunate experience. I might still report him. I don’t know how you guys made up such that you are now roommates but it is you I want. My champion. See how dirty my room is; see how hungry my pussy is. Where did my champion go to?”

With that, she lay on the bed and spread her legs.

“My champion. My very own ogbu agu of Arochukwu. Come to me.”

Chisco did not need another invitation. He stood and peeled off his clothes and went to the nurse.



The council of elders was complete that morning. A policeman in plain cloth lurked around.

“Did anyone try to reach Ndifreke?”

“His phone has been switched off.”

“Does anyone here believe he is the thief?”

“Everything doesn’t add up. He knew about the money. Did not sleep at home. Unreachable on phone. He is not talking to his girlfriend. He has a case to answer.”

“It does not look good.”

“And he is still not back.”

“It is only 6:30 am. The bank has to open for his to deposit the money first before he comes home.”

“Don’t say that. He is innocent until proven guilty.”

“Speaking of which…have you heard of the travails of the chief justice of the federation?”

“They want to remove him so that they can install a northerner before the elections. The next person in line is from Bauchi. The president of the court of appeal is from Bauchi, her husband is a senatorial aspirant of the APC.”

“Declaration of assets o. ordinary declaration of assets.”

“It was the very chief justice that quashed the same assets declaration case of Saraki to the dismay of the people in Aso rock. It was always coming for him.”

“He is going to court next week. Can you imagine that? The country’s number one judge in the dock.”

“He does not enjoy constitutional immunity. Let him answer the charge before him.”

“They said the man that filed the petition used to work for Buhari. The same man honoured Ganduje the agbada ATM as an anti-corruption champion in 2017.”

“Festus Keyemo who is Buhari’s campaign spokesman is also the EFCC prosecutor for the case.”

“The man own don finish.”

“The Niger Delta people are already up in arms over the matter. The Governors are meeting in Abuja. It won’t be smooth sailing I can assure you.”

“Everything is falling into place too nicely for Buhari for it all to be coincidence. Do you know that this is the first time ever that our President and the head of INEC will be from the same region? Now it is looking like we will be having a new chief justice from thesame region too. The IG of police, a Buhari loyalist whose thirty five years of service is over is still being kept in office. What chance does Atiku have?”

“Did you see the crowd in Bauchi for Buhari’s campaign? Frightening. Meanwhile in Atiku’s camp the influential deputy senate president Ekweremadu is noticeably absent at his campaign.”

“Buhari is really looking formidable. Putting kinsmen in key roles is pure evil genius.”

“The only thing PDP now have are the Amaechi tapes.”

“APC says the tapes are doctored but they were quick to replace Amaechi with Tinubu as head of the Presiden’t reelection campaign. I’m sure they can’t wait for this election to come and pass before they will treat Amaechi’s fvck up. Hot soup surely awaits him.”

“Anybody who knows him knows he said those things in the context it is being interpreted. He sees himself as a comedian. He should brace himself for many nights of thousand laughs in political limbo when this is all over. Let Bubu first secure his second term.”

“Today Man U face the biggest test since Mourinho left. Spurs will bring them right back to earth.”

“That is not happening. You wan bet?”

As that was being said they saw Ndifreke jump the gutter and enter the compound. He stopped and greeted but no one answered. They were all searching his eyes. Then someone signaled to the plain clothed policeman who rounded him from the back and put a handcuff on him before he realized what was happening.

“What is going on here? What is this about?”

“You will know when we get to the station. If I were you, I will remain silent.”

“Mr Zubi. Mr Cosmas. What is going on?”

“You are a suspect in a serious theft incident.”

“What?”

“Go with them son. Don’t resist. We are coming with you.”

When they left, someone said, “I have never known a thief to look so innocent.”



While they waited for the match between Manchester United and Tottenham Hotspurs to commence, the sight of Akunna dragging two animals – a ram and a goat, started them all. The two did not want to move in step but he held the tethers together and dragged with all his might. Now they were in front of number 225 and he had to jump the gutter with his animals. Then he did what only the new Akunna would do. He carried the goat and placed it on his neck like he carried his mother for the FU a while back and supported it with one hand and then with the second hand he took the ram off the ground and jumped the gutter and landed in the compound with a considerable thud, at the same time freeing himself of both animals but still holding on the them by the tethers. The children clapped and some of them cried “The Champ is here!” then like a circus conductor Akunna bowed to the cheering crowd and pointed to his two animals.

“What is this Akunna” Josiah asked him.

“Are you stupid? It is a goat and a ram.”

“Yes I know but what are you doing carrying a goat and a ram like two lovers you can’t seem to choose from.”

“It is my gift to the good people of number 225 Katakata street. I did not celebrate sallah and Christmas so today I have decided to celebrate both of them together.”

“You don’t say.”

“Yes sir. Quickly, make a fire on the road. Help me let’s slaughter these delicious beasts. There is a feast here tonight. Call all the Christians and moslems. Akunna wants to celebrate the birth of Jesus and the survival of Muhammad in the hands of a foolish father. Go and buy your pepper and tomatoes. There is meat. Akunna wants to celebrate the greatest Lords of modern man.”

Everyone remained silent and watched Akunna. No one knew what to say. Someone however asked the question. “Where did Akunna get the money to buy a goat and a ram at the same time?”


TO BE CONTINUED.

FIRST TO COMMENT

*Ghost mode deactivated*thank you very much for this update centino,I thought today was gone already...I haven't read it th0,I just came to thank you first.lemme goan read.#sips cold zobo

Just when you quench our thirst from previous week, you just snatch the water bottle again from us. Kudos man, you have me hooked

Kai!

Just finished reading.

The only problem I am having with Centino's story is that, no matter how long the update is, it never seems to be long enough.

Everything is in tow. Another beautifully-written episode by the man whose pen is filled with ink from the rivers of Lebanon!

Nobody should argue with me, I am not in the mood...

MrMacinterchi1:
Happy Sunday Sir CENTINO. I believe your muse is overlapping already. Abeg, na beg I de beg ooo, na this ur update go be your Birthday present to me and I go appreciate it well well.. it go make the birthday way fall on a Sunday enter well well.

I go like make u use loonnnggg update wish me longggg life and longgggg account balance in great future. Thank you bro. Happy Sunday again.

May your birthday be every Sunday.

Hmm, I don't know what to say. Thank you centino, but why you con put us for suspense Na? Abi na akunna steal the money?

so technically, u re saying akunna is the thief we've been looking for all along? lol it's all good sha

Up Centino

Akunna

Akunna no go kill me with laff

Ndifreke has an alibi, hopefully he'll be released

Thanks for the update OP

hahahahaha some lines there got me cracking. d only thing pdp has is Amaechi tape. I for like attend dis akunna ecumenical celebration pool!!! centino u be baba thanks for D wonderful update bro

Lol.. Akuna ooo..laughing my arsenal out *in broda shaggi's voice* abeg lehdem release my Ndifreke oo, he's innocent la.. Mr Zubi is foolish, but Castro is 'foolisher'..
Mr Centino..you're such a darling fah

calamus:
Kai!

Just finished reading.

The only problem I am having with Centino's story is that, no matter how long the update is, it never seems to be long enough.

Everything is in tow. Another beautifully-written episode by the man whose pen is filled with ink from the rivers of Lebanon!

Nobody should argue with me, I am not in the mood...



May your birthday be every Sunday.

Na so Thanks man

Thanks to one and only Sir CENTINO. May your little wishes as well as the big ones be granted as mine was by you. I appreciate you.

This food in front of me is too much ohh.
I never read am but I know say e go sweet wella as Centino the cook be professional......
I go use am digest the Manchester United win.