₦airaland Forum

ImaIma1:
Everyone needs help whether from domestic staff or family. I met someone who said she wakes up by 3.30am latest to prepare her kids for school and cook before going to work.

How will someone like that get enough sleep and not break down. Help is necessary

My wife wakes 4am each day to prepare the kids for school and also cook that early morning. We do not eat leftover foods. She's a super woman i must confess. Whenever i go out late i help in sweeping and arranging the house. She told right from our wedding she does not want a maid.


Planning is the key

ImaIma1:
Everyone needs help whether from domestic staff or family. I met someone who said she wakes up by 3.30am latest to prepare her kids for school and cook before going to work.

How will someone like that get enough sleep and not break down. Help is necessary

Not true. I know quite a few who don't even allow family to come around because both parents are dead, talkless of a maid.

bukatyne:
See big madam.

Should I join your team?

N600k/month.

NoToPile:

To small?

I can up the ante

pocohantas:
Every woman husband helps...
And every man here helps his wife.

Where are the Nigerian men that do not help their wives?

I'm not sure how much technology the male commenters are putting into the numerous 'professings' they're making here oo.

lonelydora:
My wife wakes 4am each day to prepare the kids for school and also cook that early morning. We do not eat leftover foods. She's a super woman i must confess. Whenever i go out late i help in sweeping and arranging the house. She told right from our wedding she does not want a maid.


Planning is the key

Whats left over food?

lonelydora:
My wife wakes 4am each day to prepare the kids for school and also cook that early morning. We do not eat leftover foods. She's a super woman i must confess. Whenever i go out late i help in sweeping and arranging the house. She told right from our wedding she does not want a maid.


Planning is the key

So she does it all alone?

What are her work hours?

JoannaSedley:
Your post are always divisive. From compulsory tithing to this.......what the hell is wrong with you. Because a woman is working to help herself and family you are quoting and writing unreadable epistles. If we didn't, you call us unprintable names at the same time quoting proverb 31.

You seem to disagree with the Proverbs 31 woman. I don't blame you, she seems too good to be true right?
Probably no woman has lived up to her standard. But just as man is pursuing the image of Christ, I believe wives are also to pursue the nature of a virtuous woman.
They say, if we chase Perfection close enough, we would attain Excellence.

My submission, is that nothing stops a woman from being an excellent career woman and an awesome wife and mother. Women were created extraordinary. It seems however not all women know this.

To answer the OP. Cooperation is key.
If you can get a maid, please do
If you can't or don't want to, it will only require more flexibility and sacrifices from both husband and wife.

Daeylar:
Sacrificed 3 years of your career?
From birth till your daughter was 3 years old right?

I love that, and you're right, they aren't children forever, and you do only have a chance.

Do the same for the ones who will follow her. You did good.

I appreciate your encouragement. Thank you. I have to add, I have been making money online via my shop on Instagram so I won't say I haven't been making money from home all these while.

bukatyne:
To small?

I can up the ante

Too high, way too high.

NoToPile:
Whats left over food?

Food cooked the previous night. She cooks fresh food daily

pressplay411:
You seem to disagree with the Proverbs 31 woman. I don't blame you, she seems too good to be true right?
Probably no woman has lived up to her standard. But just as man is pursuing the image of Christ, I believe wives are also to pursue the nature of a virtuous woman.
They say, if we chase Perfection close enough, we would attain Excellence.

My submission, is that nothing stops a woman from being an excellent career woman and an awesome wife and mother. Women were created extraordinary. It seems however not all women know this.

To answer the OP. Cooperation is key.
If you can get a maid, please do
If you can't or don't want to, it will only require more flexibility and sacrifices from both husband and wife.

Proverb 31 are wishful thoughts of the author. I disagree with it because it depicts men as lazy and docile incompetent creature who sits at the city gates to take glory for their wife's achievements and doggedness.

bukatyne:
So she does it all alone?

What are her work hours?

She bath the kids and i help in dressing them up. She leaves the house for work latest 6:30am each day.

Mehn...una dey try oooo.

Waking up by 4:00 am? As as how?

We'll have a washing machine, a pounding machine, na machine go full everywhere. Then there'll be the house maid. I cannot come and go and kill myself.

lonelydora:
My wife wakes 4am each day to prepare the kids for school and also cook that early morning. We do not eat leftover foods. She's a super woman i must confess. Whenever i go out late i help in sweeping and arranging the house. She told right from our wedding she does not want a maid.


Planning is the key

Mehn...you won't go nowhere!

That's the time when cuddling gets sweeter.

keepingmum:
It depends on the jobs of the spouses. Early on in my marriage i was home with our 1st child. from 9 months old (when i resumed work) , i left early to work, dropped the lo with the childminder till ans picked him up till he started regular sch.
Oga was responsible for getting lo ready for sch from 3yrs - 9yrs. He bath, fed wore his clothes and diapers etc dropped him in sch in the morning because hes work was more flexible whilst i picked lo from sch after work.
When lo turned 10yrs, we got him a phone, he got on the bus and will ring/text once he got to sch and then i pick him up from sch.

However with lm, oga has become busier now so i work part time and do the sch runs then work. But at the weekends, Oga is responsible for the kids 100% whilst i do the cooking, laundry....oga dries the clothes and I iron them. He makes the bed cos i am rubbish in makings beds, he washes the bathroom and toilets whilst i do the kitchen cleaning and food shop
Its all about division of labour, mutual understanding and love for one another. We have done this over 15years and Oga is a decade older than i am.

But if you are married to an archaic patriarchal type of spouse who believes that his job is to shag you, drop money, eat food and snore then sorry na im get you

NB
Rather than spending time doing housechores in your boyfriend's house, showing how much of a wife material you are, sit down and have these conversations to avoid stories that touch the anuss in marriage. Discuss finances, number of children, domestic roles, views on househelps/relatives visitings because trust me, when the cake and jollof rice you ate from the wedding party has digested, reality will hit and resentment may set in.

You deserve not just accolades but also praises for this intelligent write up. Bless you

bukatyne:
Great, considering you are even the daddy.

Lay more emphasis on what you mean by “you’re even the daddy”

I pity you "working class" suffer head people and your rowdy, unbearable Lagos life. You people are messed up and you don't even know it.

Lagos is a terrible shithole as it is. Not a friendly city for a working family lifestyle at all. You'd have to be super lucky to have a fantastic job (very rare), or be a self-timed solopreneur (legit or illegit) with good income to enjoy a modicum of decent life in that godforsaken city. Otherwise na suffer and die for nothing be your portion.

TheClulssHomakr:
Two words, Routine and cooperation.
It's only in Nigeria that we see maids as par for the course. Try that abroad and quench from the bills nah.

It's not easy but it is doable once the couple is willing to tackle things as a team. Not just one person carrying the whole house. E.g hubby can iron clothes while mum sweeps.

Establish a routine of sorts.
Specific shopping days for groceries. There are even IG shoppers that can deliver meat and stuff to the house.
Certain days for major cleaning.

Bulk cooking, none of that fresh soup every night palaver

Use appliances. Microwave, washing machine etc.

exactly so

working as a team reduces the burden

bukatyne:
Good evening house,

The Topic already explains itself.

In Lagos of today, how do a working couple with kids survive without a maid?

Practical examples pls.

1. put children in daycare

2. Let your relations live with you

3. Get a weekend cleaner/washer

4. Be a civil servant or marry one

lonelydora:
She bath the kids and i help in dressing them up. She leaves the house for work latest 6:30am each day.

Ok. When does she sleep?

AFONAMARO:
Yea. All hands must be on deck.

We already know our routine and it works fine.
Wifey has the kitchen every morning (Monday - Friday) and weekends. While I have the kitchen every evening (Monday - Friday) after work. But baby seating is entirely mine since the kids always prefer to shout and call daddy for attention, bathing, homework, play etc.

Not been easy I tell you. But the joy the bonding gives me is out of this world, coupled with the fact that I married the world best wife

Awww. that's so sweet of you.

gohamburg:
You are one understanding husband! Your lady is lucky! I do all the housework alone, raise the kids alone, go to work over the weekends, go for lectures during the weekdays, attend the kids appointment, take to church, take them for their friends birthday parties, do everything alone! I am always driving around the whole city like one crazy girl. It's so annoying . The husband is always forming busy. Being married to a Nigerian man requires special training o...Good thing is, God has blessed me with wonderful kids. They are my helpers, always asking if I need help and my oldest is just 12years. Sometimes, I wonder how I have survived 13 years of living abroad without help....Marriage sef! Overrated bullshit!

One side of the story .. getting married to a Nigerian man ...so so

I guess he’s the only provider and an alpha male

My kind of person ����
Nothing below 2 maids sef. For cooking for cleaning.
Can't come and kill myself abeg.

Nonsense

zicoraads:
Mehn...una dey try oooo.

Waking up by 4:00 am? As as how?

We'll have a washing machine, a pounding machine, na machine go full everywhere. Then there'll be the house maid. I cannot come and go and kill myself.

alBHAGDADI:
A woman's place is in the home just as a fish's place is in the water, but una no go hear.

Every woman wants to work and earn her money without knowing the much damage such is doing to her family especially the kids. You leave your kids at the mercy of a maid who might be possessed or simply wicked just because you want to be civilized and make your own money. That's why kids of today lack home training and are becoming horrible creatures. Look at all the young girls becoming twerkers on Instagram and running after Yahoo boys which the young boys have become.

A working wife doesn't only create problems for their kids but also for themselves. That's why many wives of today are looking ugly and old due to the stress at work. You wake up as early as 5am to beat traffic which you still meet. You stay cramped up in a dirty bus sweating with different people with germs only to get to work and still be ordered around by your boss in ways your husband can't even try. By the time you are 35, you are already looking like a 50 year old and unattractive. This can make the husband to start cheatin with campus girls. All of these for the love of money which never brings happiness.

Yes, I quite understand that some families need the woman to be working so as to support the husband, but it is wise to get a job close by and very conducive. And when you get that job, don't go chasing career or you will hurt your loved ones. Aspiring to be the MD or the GMD will only make you neglect your wife duties. A Husband is suppose to eat his wife's food, not a maid's. Same maid gets maltreated by these frustrated wives who are living a confused life. That job makes you neglect yourself, your kids, your Husband and God.

The sad part is that most of these ladies were raised by mothers who devoted time for them and sacrificed ambitions that would have made them selfish.

Since you've gotten the job, whatever it gives you be it positive or negative, just face it till you realize that career chasing and ambitions that make your family suffer is not worth it.


1 Timothy 6:9-11 (KJV)
9 But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition.
10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
11 But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness.

?

this guy again

Mariangeles:
How come it's "She...she...she " ??

Is it all up to the woman ??
Na wah o!

Read my subsequent comments.
It is NOT all up to the woman.

alBHAGDADI:
I'm sorry dear, I dont mean to be divisive.

My post is simply an advice for women who are working, telling them not to complain about how difficult it is to play their roles as wife and mothers alongside their career.

They shouldn't complaint and also they shouldn't abdicate their duties to maids.

I have been reading your comments and I must say that you make a lot of sense.

However, there are some scenarios where the wife is the breadwinner of the family and the husband (due to circumstances) takes care of the kids.

In this case, the woman also getting a good job or having a profitable business is indispensable especially if the hubby lost his job. Nevertheless, I still feel that the woman should not abscond her primary duty which is to family. It is not easy especially for the working wife/mother but we need to pray for them and support them as men whenever we can

Don't be caught off guard the day she sparks!

lonelydora:
My wife wakes 4am each day to prepare the kids for school and also cook that early morning. We do not eat leftover foods. She's a super woman i must confess. Whenever i go out late i help in sweeping and arranging the house. She told right from our wedding she does not want a maid.


Planning is the key

Priceless200:
My kind of person ����
Nothing below 2 maids sef. For cooking for cleaning.
Can't come and kill myself abeg.

Nonsense

Same here o, nobody should call me superwoman or wonder-woman biko. If I fall down die of stress, he will remarry na. I dey sure say na my papa go cry pass.

A colleague of mine once said, "I don't know why a woman will go to work Mon-Fri, spend hours in traffic, attend to kids, go to market on Saturday, comes back, jumps into the kitchen, cooking and sweating, all to fix a meal I/we would eat and shit in 2hrs. Outsource these things!!!!