thorpido:
You have to read well. Not everyone works for people or live on the mainland working on the Island.
I wrote that specifically addressing the woman who has her own business. I also said wife because it's easier to handle for women.

It's not in every home that the woman does the cooking,cleaning and washing ALL by herself.
The sex issue.....she is not one like a bottle of beer where the one who drinks enjoys the beer but the bottle itself gains nothing. It's love making........not just for the man.
Choose the right man to marry.

Ishilove:

You are blessed with a very understanding husband

pressplay411:


On the contrary. Both husband and wife are to be exemplary in Excellence.
Diligence is a quality God demands from both man and woman.
Do you know what it means to be like Christ?
Trust me, a man, if truly a Christian, is the best thing that could happen to your life, your children, the society, etc.
Try to study the stories of Aquila and Proscilla, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph and David in terms of their diligence.

About whether or not it's a wishful thought, trust me you can either assume the whole gospel is a wishful thought or accept and come to know that no part of it is a wishful thought. That's what Faith is.
Have a good night... And dream sweet.

JoannaSedley:
I have known the supposed "men in Christ" aka the Bible thumpers and they are all the same...Bible hypocritics. I'd rather have me a discipline guy with enough commonsense who will discern right and wrong without bible thumping. Thank you.
FYI, the Bible is a good story book to me just like the Epic of Gilgamesh.

LewsTherin:


But most of all, why would I marry my wife to watch her keep busy all day long even if she is ok with it? Where is my cuddle time? My sexy time? If helping do some of those chores helps her finish on time, then it means I get more time to be in za oza room. It's simple self centeredness !

TheClulssHomakr:
Two words, Routine and cooperation.
It's only in Nigeria that we see maids as par for the course. Try that abroad and quench from the bills nah.

It's not easy but it is doable once the couple is willing to tackle things as a team. Not just one person carrying the whole house. E.g hubby can iron clothes while mum sweeps.

Establish a routine of sorts.
Specific shopping days for groceries. There are even IG shoppers that can deliver meat and stuff to the house.
Certain days for major cleaning.

Bulk cooking, none of that fresh soup every night palaver

Use appliances. Microwave, washing machine etc.

bukatyne:


Na wa for you!

See fish and plantain

Teamwork makes sense.

princess1000:



There id no big deal, I and my husband are working class. I have raised three boys without house maid, two are already in the university now. I wake up 6am put food on fire and i get the baby ready for school. My husband drop them at school when the brothers were still in secondary and i picked them up. Shikena. My two boys in the university knows how to cook and do any house shores.

PrimadonnaO:



It's high time y'all stopped this argument. Don't make her do something under the justification that she would enjoy it. If she wants it, let her initiate it. Haven't you heard that about a 90% of women don't reach orgasm during penetrative sex? So this enjoyment y'all keep clamouring for is ASSURED for the man alone.

If she wants it, and since she'd enjoy it as you say, then let her initiate it herself! The truth remains that most women can very comfortably do without sex, but a man can't. Ordinary two months of no sex and they start getting cranky and all, when a woman can do 2 years, no sex!

LaClickLaBend:


wife not slave

imnotconfused:
I don't know if this counts as I don't live in Naija but I don't have househelps.

What makes the difference is shared burden/ shared work.If it lies on one person, there will be burn out.

DH and I work full time ,Monday to Friday and some weekends.

5:30 or max 6am alarm goes off.

DH does his brushing and co while I shower

I finish showering and do minimal dressing up and he enters to bathe.

I wake the kids and hand tooth brush over to them.

After that quick bath for one,DH comes over and bathes the second one.

We split the kids,I ensure one is dressed up,DH does the other then takes them downstairs to have breakfast while I finish my make up and co.

I go down and take over when I'm done then DH dresses up properly.

After breakfast,final dress up and shouting and we pile out.Dh drops us off- me at train station,kids in school and nursery.

I rush from work for school run ( they stay in after school club till 5:00),get home prep dinner for the kids,do some homework then shower for the night.I do this Monday to Wednesdays,DH school run Thursday and Friday.

19:00 Read to them,DH usually is back at this time.He comes up to do the goodnight and once they're tucked in we prep.our dinner,i heat the food while he does any dishes.

We chat about the day,eat and go to bed and then repeat same cycle.

We usually have a food plan for the week or at least an idea of what we will eat and put in fridge to defrost while at work.


Weekends if not working:

If no food,we cook.DH cooks some meals,I cook some eg he may cook stew while I cook porridge.We just subconsciously split who cooks what.

DH does laundry,I do ironing and planning outfits for the week for the kids.

I scrub bathrooms,he vaccums the rooms.

Sunday is eat out day.I can't be bothered to have extra stress.

It's not easy at all..very stressful but bearable with a partner who is hands on

Married 8 years plus

AFONAMARO:


Planning, understanding and sacrifice.

I and my better half are engaged in a 7am - 5pm job. Kids (twins) are 2 years and 3 months at the moment, and are in Prenursery.

I leave the house 6am daily so as to beat traffic and drop them in school before settling down for my day's job. I pick them up by 5pm daily.

Practically, since my position at my place of work can permit me to close at exactly 5pm or so, I pick them, bath them when we get home, dress them, feed them play/baby seat them till they are ready for bed and turk them in to sleep.

Here is the division of labour. Wifey cooks during weekends, prepare their breakfast/launch daily, while I take them to school to and fro daily, feeds them dinner, bath them, baby seat them and make them sleep daily. I do the dishes daily after work to enable wifey rest a while after work since I return before her.

Note: We all wake by 4am daily and everybody knows their duties. Hence my ascertain about PLANNING, UNDERSTANDING & SACRIFICE

Amhappy:


Ejighi afufu Anya isi nne. My mum no even pass through the stress,she had help. If I get opportunity I won't even work sef but will still hire a nanny and house keeper. Poverty Na bastard. If you enter some kind big man house, you will understand.

babythug:


Leave the home at 7.30 and get to work when?

Rosarie:
that's one is suffering.as humans we get exhausted.then u unconsciously snap at ur kids.my dear the stress is indescribable.ur mom has lived her live.live urs.did she tell u she was happy.abeg forget that thing

keepingmum:
It depends on the jobs of the spouses. Early on in my marriage i was home with our 1st child. from 9 months old (when i resumed work) , i left early to work, dropped the lo with the childminder till ans picked him up till he started regular sch.
Oga was responsible for getting lo ready for sch from 3yrs - 9yrs. He bath, fed wore his clothes and diapers etc dropped him in sch in the morning because hes work was more flexible whilst i picked lo from sch after work.
When lo turned 10yrs, we got him a phone, he got on the bus and will ring/text once he got to sch and then i pick him up from sch.

However with lm, oga has become busier now so i work part time and do the sch runs then work. But at the weekends, Oga is responsible for the kids 100% whilst i do the cooking, laundry....oga dries the clothes and I iron them. He makes the bed cos i am rubbish in makings beds, he washes the bathroom and toilets whilst i do the kitchen cleaning and food shop
Its all about division of labour, mutual understanding and love for one another. We have done this over 15years and Oga is a decade older than i am.

But if you are married to an archaic patriarchal type of spouse who believes that his job is to shag you, drop money, eat food and snore then sorry na im get you

NB
Rather than spending time doing housechores in your boyfriend's house, showing how much of a wife material you are, sit down and have these conversations to avoid stories that touch the anuss in marriage. Discuss finances, number of children, domestic roles, views on househelps/relatives visitings because trust me, when the cake and jollof rice you ate from the wedding party has digested, reality will hit and resentment may set in.

NoToPile:


Those ones are living in an organized environment, just one factor NEPA can make the difference.

They know there will be light when they wake up
They can store meals for weeks in the freezer without fear of NEPA

NEPA aside, lets look at lagos its one crazy place
Some areas you take bus half way, trek half way and continue the journey by bus again even if you have a car you know its better to park at home so you can jump okada as the need arises. In order to beat all these you leave home latest 5am, now for a couple that leaves home 5am with 2 little children and no help when would they wake up? Now add an unsupporting hubby to the mix that the wife would have to do it alone, they then both come back by 8pm and they sleep maybe 11pm, wake very early again and the cycle continues.

One day the woman will snap its just a matter of time.

Relatives don't want their children to live with anyone anymore, while I was in primary school I stayed with my neighbors help till my peeps came back around 6, most don't do that anymore with all these pedophiles around.

alBHAGDADI:


I'm sorry dear, I dont mean to be divisive.

My post is simply an advice for women who are working, telling them not to complain about how difficult it is to play their roles as wife and mothers alongside their career.

They shouldn't complaint and also they shouldn't abdicate their duties to maids.

xendra:
somebody needed to tell you to STFU if y'all broke asses played your own role of providing women wouldn't bother to work.

armyofone:
Don't be caught off guard the day she sparks!

bukatyne:


Ok. When does she sleep?

yvelchstores:
I appreciate your encouragement. Thank you.

I have to add, I have been making money online via my shop on Instagram so I won't say I haven't been making money from home all these while.

Juliearth:




Sorry, it just occurred to me that this won't be feasible in an environment such as Lagos. I made that illustration using my state as a point of reference.

Juliearth:




Marrying a "big" man is not an excuse for laziness,but then again, it's different strokes for different folks. Thus, you can hand over all motherly responsibilities to your maid, nanny and all as a "big" woman that you are. You can even decide to birth your children through a surrogate...

ono:
OK. Mine is kinda very odd.

We live in different countries. She's outside of Naija. I'm in Naija.

We are both engineers - with over 10 years in the business.

Kids are with her - better education where she is. Her company pays for ALL the school fees - for the 3 of them. Company said they can pay for 4.

We had a maid. Fired her. And now, for the past 2 years, no maid.

13+ years married.

No wahala.

Daradared2:

wooow! u guys are amazing..... I thought my Husband got it all, seeing comment....Thumps up for u guys! Let make it work.....TOGETHER...

Many thanks!

When you understand your family is the essence of "MARRIAGE", you will gladly catch a grenade for them

Nwabundo38:

Awww. that's so sweet of you.

Daeylar:
Keepingmum, imnotconfused, AFONAMARO, LewsTherin. Love your examples of how you keep your home going strong by working together. More strength to you guys.