baralatie:

same thing goes the other way round.the man should fulfill his marital duties which includes faithfully bedding his wife.

I don't know that a marriage contract can be terminated on account of lack of sex. She can consult with a marriage lawyer. She's probably in Britain where the law works.

Uglymugg:
I don't know that a marriage contract can be terminated on account of lack of sex. She can consult with a marriage lawyer. She's probably in Britain where the law works.

it is called irreconcilable differences in Nigerian terms

baralatie:
do you even sleep on the same bed

Always close next to one another when I try cuddle him says I'm tired got work in the morning turns over and sleeps.

Sometimes this happens after I put candles on dressed up for him.
He says I look nice but he is tired.
Like shall I give him energy pills or I just need to wake up and accept he isn't interested in me?

baralatie:

it is called irreconcilable differences in Nigerian terms

I really wanted the marriage to work
Why can't he just be a normal man?
He will then try saying I beg you , I will change once home office sends him a letter stating he must now leave the country.

Nene05:


Always close next to one another when I try cuddle him says I'm tired got work in the morning turns over and sleeps.

Sometimes this happens after I put candles on dressed up for him.

He says I look nice but tired.
Like shall I give him energy pills or I just need to wake up and accept he isn't interested in me?

you need to have some advanced seduction skillz

but what exactly is the nature of his job (physical or mentally engrossing )

Funny but if true... Then there is an inherent sexual problem with the man. Did you guys have sex during the relationship? If say yes, what would say about it?

Nene05:


I really wanted the marriage to work
Why can't he just be a normal man?
He will then try saying I beg you , I will change once home office sends him a letter stating he must now leave the country.

it is either you nag it out of him,seduce him or you get a good job that pays in seven digits thereby making you have control over you life.

baralatie:

it is called irreconcilable differences in Nigerian terms

lol

Nene05:


I really wanted the marriage to work
Why can't he just be a normal man?
He will then try saying I beg you , I will change once home office sends him a letter stating he must now leave the country.

Well there's a possibility he is seeing someone else, or he just does not find you sexually appealing anyone.

Furthermore, you are too submissive and cater to his every need, and because of that, he now looks down on you totally. Apart from the sex issue, I don't know how the rest of your relationship is, but I can take a guess that it's not as it once was.

Leave him. You have only 1 life to live. Don't let someone that does not appreciate you waste more months of your life.

Happiness is free. Leave him.

Nene05:


No affection or intimacy in 7 months prior was ok
Sorry if my writing wasn't clear my apologies.

Even if it's not regular it's a start
All he wants to do is work sleep and drink his beer.

*drink his beer*.....smh
He values his beer than fulfilling his manly duties in bed
Either he has a low testosterone which is influenced by his high beer intake or he is knacking another lady outside

baralatie:
7 months? that I s too long for married couples.
tell him you want kids

Don't know if to scream or cry
I have even said I can move out or have an open marriage.

Yes I do want to start a family if he wants to wait needs to speak with me and we use condoms have no problem but don't deny me sex or may not be around when you get home.

Totopounder:


*drink his beer*.....smh
He values his beer than fulfilling his manly duties in bed
Either he has a low testosterone which is influenced by his high beer intake or he is knacking another lady outside

he doesn't stay out etc. . asked him already if he's sleeping with someone else.
He's never late home don't think it's this he just wants me miserable.

baralatie:

you need to have some advanced seduction skillz

but what exactly is the nature of his job (physical or mentally engrossing )

No heavy lifting Job -no warehouse.
Light work

Customer service care

It seems like there's more to this story than you have said, I'm very sure. But then, you'll not want to reel out all the details for the sake of privacy. There has to be what begun this whole coldness. Do you mind saying what it's?

I suppose you were the one who coerced him into marrying you. Good men usually find it difficult sustaining feelings for ladies they didn't chase after before getting. The bad ones will continue to sleep with you deceiving you that they love you while keeping girlfriends outside.

iboboyswag:
Funny but if true... Then there is an inherent sexual problem with the man. Did you guys have sex during the relationship? If say yes, what would say about it?

The sex is good when we have it but hardly ever.
We both enjoy.

Nene05:


he doesn't stay out etc. . asked him already if he's sleeping with someone else.
He's never late home don't think it's this he just wants me miserable.

Either he wants you miserable or he has a low libido.....7months is fvcking too long,mhen you have really tried whilst still being submissive and staying respectful to him

Nene05:


he doesn't stay out etc. . asked him already if he's sleeping with someone else.
He's never late home don't think it's this he just wants me miserable.

What is the age difference between you guys ?

I ask because if he is within the age bracket where men begin to decline in sexual urge and you are in the age bracket where u are still sexually active then you have a huge problem in your hands .

Regardless ,its your call sit down and think of how best to resolve your problem.

Daviddson:
It seems like there's more to this story than you have said, I'm very sure. But then, you'll not want to reel out all the details for the sake of privacy. There has to be what begun this whole coldness. Do you mind saying what it's?

I suppose you were the one who coerced him into marrying you. Good men usually find it difficult sustaining feelings for ladies they didn't chase after before getting. The bad ones will continue to sleep with you deceiving you that they love you while keeping girlfriends outside.

This assumption is totally wrong and false,don't pass a wrong info out there,speak for yourself bro

Uglymugg:
A Nigerian would never agree to an open marriage. Have you even tried talking to him? Was he always like this? Did you gain weight? Did you stop taking care of yourself? It's either this or he might be gay and using you as cover. I'm not saying this is what it is, but it's not impossible in this day and age.

He gives me compliments how I look and gets jealous and annoyed if I say think of finding a real man who desires me.

Sometimes I feel he wants to be the female In the relationship.
But don't allow this to happen.

If I express my feelings with him on this topic he thinks I'm bullying him WTF ??
Before he got his visa was affectionate responsible man now it's all about him doesn't care about my feelings etc. .,

Twoclans:


What is the age difference between you guys ?

I ask because if he is within the age bracket where men begin to decline in sexual urge and you are in the age bracket where u are still sexually active then you have a huge problem in your hands .

Regardless ,its your call sit down and think of how best to resolve your problem.

He's 41

donkilidon:


wow!!! 7 months is long sister....buh r u saying in 7months not even once?

if so am seeing a bigger problem..

u might have to take a decision soon.
do u know his close frnds u can talk to?

He's a type of guy who keeps himself to himself.
Most of his friends and family are in Nigeria.

And yes no sex or affection in 7 months.
I'm affectionate person even hugs and kisses like from my parents.

Does your pussy stink tho? (Big factor that)
Have you been letting yourself go tho?

Answer these and we go from there.

lefulefu:
ahaaa! visa or greencard..i have even forgotten.search his facebook thoroughly and check if dere is any young lady amongst his friends list that has his surname.chances are he might have another hidden facebook account. painful as it sounds maybe hr might just be using u for papers.lemme jus give small expo.the average nigerian man does not like marrying a lady older than him and also d average nigerian man loves a woman who enters d kitchen to cook for him.so are u older than him? do u cook for him?

I'm younger than him I'm 32 he's 40
Also I'm house wife although thinks he would prefer me to work.

He refused to help me with the house so left my job stay home cook African food and other delicious dishes.
He likes the food etc just too tired to satisfy me

2buffagain:
Does your pussy stink tho? (Big factor that)
Have you been letting yourself go tho?

Answer these and we go from there.

Must you ask that?That is not enough reason. Poor advice.

Nene05:


I'm younger than him I'm 32 he's 40
Also I'm house wife although thinks he would prefer me to work.

He refused to help me with the house so left my job stay home cook African food and other delicious dishes.
He likes the food etc just too tired to satisfy me

Sorry that you're going through this.
If a man changes as soon as he gets his visa, then it is clear what game he was playing.

EDIT: OP is at fault. Keep reading thread.

My dear OP,

Don't be deceived by that his work work pressure excuses.

Apart from sex, is he romantic to you. I am sure the answer is no.

The only thing that could kill a man's libido for a woman is lack of love for the woman in question.

Or he is seeing another woman.

Confront him and ask him if he wants you or not. That you can't cope with the loneliness again.

I feel for you and the condition you are, nothing pains a woman like not being valued that's the only reason women are tempted to do some undesirable.


Simple truth to you. Don't be deceived by queer answers here.

baralatie:

if you going to have babies you going to need a job.

still you might have to insist on babies if you want to break that deadlock in the bedroom without nagging if possible

He works prefer the man the head and works and I stay home and iron cook clean etc. ..
I'm his full time helper.

He likes me been submissive -I can't be submissive if a man expects me to go out and work like a man.
Our living costs are low and things better this way.

When you have less appreciate things more , plan things and know where every penny goes.

No spare money for another woman etc. ..
Only our household and we spoke about having a family and planning before hand.

Ginomel:
My dear OP,

Don't be deceived by that his work work pressure excuses.

Apart from sex, is he romantic to you. I am sure the answer is no.

The only thing that could kill a man's libido for a woman is lack of love for the woman in question.

Or he is seeing another woman.

Confront him and ask him if he wants you or not. That you can't cope with the loneliness again.

I feel for you and the condition you are, nothing pains a woman like not being valued that's the only reason women are tempted to do some undesirable.


Simple truth to you. Don't be deceived by queer answers here.

No he is not romantic -I find him exhausting

Nene05:


He's 41

OK


How old are you?

lefulefu:
ahaaa! visa or greencard..i have even forgotten.search his facebook thoroughly and check if dere is any young lady amongst his friends list that has his surname.chances are he might have another hidden facebook account. painful as it sounds maybe hr might just be using u for papers.lemme jus give small expo.the average nigerian man does not like marrying a lady older than him and also d average nigerian man loves a woman who enters d kitchen to cook for him.so are u older than him? do u cook for him?

He's got a long way to go as only temporary visa.
So I'm not worried about been used.

Twoclans:


OK


How old are you?

32

lefulefu:
ahaaa! visa or greencard..i have even forgotten.search his facebook thoroughly and check if dere is any young lady amongst his friends list that has his surname.chances are he might have another hidden facebook account. painful as it sounds maybe hr might just be using u for papers.lemme jus give small expo.the average nigerian man does not like marrying a lady older than him and also d average nigerian man loves a woman who enters d kitchen to cook for him.so are u older than him? do u cook for him?

I'm a stay at home wife- cook clean and serve him.