₦airaland Forum

C505:
I don't agree with number 3 except God isn't the foundation.

I have a few Christian friends who never started a relationship but prayed to God and they got their fairytale wives.

Infant, one of them told me when you're ready, first ask God to forgive you for condemning igbo, calabar, edo, yoruba, etc. Who are you to condemn what God has created in the first place? Your place isn't the best.... There are good people everywhere as much as there are bad people too.

Open your heart with fasting and prayer and ask him to give you your woman no matter her tribe. He did this every night and on the second night, he said he had a dream where he was walking and from afar, two ladies called his name. He recognized them real life from the first place he had lived as the ladies ran towards him. Inches away from him, the junior sister stopped and stepped aside to let her senior sister hug him.

They hugged for couple of seconds and caught up with life and in an instant, he woke up with a voice he heard saying "what you're looking for, you have seen it except you're looking otherwise."

The following morning, he called his aunt to ask the whereabouts of that girl. Got her contact number from his aunt and called her. Immediately he said "hello", the lady called his name and he was shocked because this is someone he hasn't seen for 15yrs.

Fastforward>>> the lady came to Lagos but what he saw wasn't his taste. No boobs, no butts, looks a little unkept and doubts started creeping in and then he said he heard again "what you're looking for, you have seen except you want otherwise."

That was the instant he made up his mind. Invited her over to his one room and proposed to her before she traveled back. Little did he know that all the locks in his life, she had the keys as everything started blossoming for him ever since she came to his life.

God already knows our perfect fit if only we ask Him. Most of us saying you have to date a girl to know her usually get it wrong cos we judge from canal knowledge. It takes forever to study a woman so if you think dating her for just a few months is enough, think again and put God first.

She's pretty, busty, curvy, slashy, are all normal judgment from men to stand out amongst friends

tosyne2much:
I'm here baba

zicoraads:
...been stuck on 1 in four years now.

tosyne2much:
I'm here baba

jakandeola:
u Neva blog in rooms like b4 why

bluefilm:
Bros mi how far na?

Longest time.

Immediately I saw this thread, I come remember say this kain topic na your domain.

How you dey?

tosyne2much:
Hehe.. You no lie at all.. Na hustle keep be away from Nairaland but I go soon dey post again

ambs50:
Thumbs up bro. you just sharpened my mind more. I hardly comment but I had to on this.

gisthabit:
https://gisthabit.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/marriage.png

Your life changes into a new phase the moment you make the decision to get married. Married life comes with its own advantages and disadvantages.

I am not going to dwell on the pros and cons of marriage. But I need you to know that marriage requires a lot of sacrifices from both parties involved. And that the benefits are far higher than the disadvantages.

My concern in this article is to highlight 3 important and critical steps that are necessary when moving from bachelorhood to marriage life.

Trust me, there are a lot of steps involved in the process of getting married but I have put together in this article three fundamental steps that are crucial and necessary.

3 Fundamental Steps for Getting Married for Bachelors

#1. Move out of your parents’ house

This is a brutal fact that shouldn’t be polished. You should consider moving out of your parents’ or family house the very moment you decide to get married.

Starting your own family require that you should have some basic home appliances. Ranging from furniture, kitchen utensils and other basic items.

From experience, staying with your parents have a way of discouraging you from buying personal properties needed to start life.

The financial burden being placed on you by your family can be overbearing especially when you are staying with them. Sometimes they depend solely on you that they may not want to engage themselves in any money making venture simply because they know that you are always there to provide their needs.

Staying alone also help you to know your true financial capabilities. It helps you to know if you can be able to bring in someone into your life and at the same time pay the person’s bills.

#2. Prepare yourself

Never make the mistake of dabbling into marriage with any form of preparation. I am sure that you wouldn’t want to call it a quit after a few months of getting married.

Getting married requires some level of preparations. It could be emotionally, spiritually and even financially.

Read books or consult marriage counsellors to help guide you make the right decisions ahead of marriage.

I recommend you read this book: Things I wish I’d Known Before We Got Married by Gary Chapman.

#3. Start a relationship

Gone are those days when out of nowhere our parents will just spring up with a woman for us to marry. Nowadays, we make our choices and we live with it whether good or bad.

Being in a relationship gives you the opportunity to get to know the person before making the decision to settle down with the woman or not.

I know that we have to work hard to make ourselves financially capable to handle marriage expenditures. But we shouldn’t get so busy to the extent that there wouldn’t be time to get to meet and know the right life partner.

The long and short is that having a relationship avails you the window to evaluate your compatibility with your future partner if carefully utilized.

Lastly, never go into a relationship with a woman with the hope of marrying her. Instead, start off with an open mind.

Having an open mind will help you to see both the good and bad side of her and guide you into making an unbiased decision.

Source: https://gisthabit.com/3-fundamental-steps-for-getting-married-for-bachelors/

IdreamOfUnicorn:

• Respect is more important than love. Not that love is not important. But there are many cases where couples choose to stay together even though the love had died long before. Sometimes to support their children till they grow up, or to attain financial security. In contrary, once you lose the respect to your partner, you won’t be able to coexist. You can revive lost love, but disrespect is irreparable.
• Fancy the eyes: If you decided to fall in love with the looks, make sure to fall for the eyes, because they never age. The handsome guy that you know today, in few years’ time, will have a muffin-top belly and thinning hair and the stunning beauty that you adore now will have wrinkled face and sagged posture. Remember, the eyes are the window of the soul. You will see your partner’s passion, joy and longing through them no matter how old they are.
• Cross minefields together: When your partner is progressing through a tough time in their career or if they’re struggling with some health issues, or even going insane. This is what I call the minefield of your married life. You must cross it together. If you decided to wait for him/her at the other side of the minefield and let them cross it by themselves, you’ll definitely lose them. If they don’t make it to the other side, you have lost them. If they made it by themselves without your support… You have lost them as well.
• You will not be the same person 10 years from now: People change all the time. You fell head over heels for this person. Years of continuously getting crushed under corporate-life wheels, marathon after the kids, and drowning in daily housework, will make your partner’s personality almost unrecognizable. They might become more nervous, less sensitive, more aggressive or less forgiving. They will definitely not be the same person. And you need to come to terms with the new version of you and your partner, otherwise your life will be unbearable.
• Work as a team: You found that after few years, both of you have changed. Now more than ever, you need to work as a team. It is so hard to have a ship with two captains. Sometimes let her be in control and sometime let him lead. At the end of the day you want to arrive safely to the other side.
• Feed your intimacy: Sex is like food and drink. Everyone knows that. But some people think that everyone can survive on the same amount of food. For some people, kids’ meal is more than enough. But some won’t feel full before devouring a whole family meal. Same with sex. Don’t expect your partner to have same appetite as you. If one partner was starved that might lead to unfaithfulness. You need to communicate your feeling, needs and worries otherwise you will be stuck in an ox donkey relationship.
• Be friends: One day, many years from now, when the cyclone of emotion, intimacy, kids growing and work routines, settle down, you’ll look back at your marriage path and reflect. You will have a lot of time to spend together. If the hours passed as eternity and you don’t have anything to say, then you haven’t been friends all your life. Friendship is the glue that stick the couple together. All the way to the end.
• Don’t take things for granted: ‘Happily ever after’ is an elusive statement. There are ups and downs in any marriage. Sometimes you feel you married the perfect partner and sometimes you perceived them as partner from hell. It is always work in progress. So, celebrate the good time and be ready for the hardships.
• Don’t compare: The following scenario may happen to you after few years of marriage: You’re having dinner with your partner with another couple who look like the Romeo and Juliet of the modern day. They look passionately at each other and touch hands as if it’s their first time. She explicates her man as the perfect husband. And he talks about her as the trophy wife. At your side of the table: Sigh… look at each other… why can’t my partner be like that? Be careful, what you had witnessed might be a show. Like the one you watch at the cinema. It had start and end time. Some people are good at acting in public.
• Patience… Patience… and more Patience: When you face any obstacles just remember that time mends all problems. So take a deep breath in… shall I make myself more clear?… Let it out. Patience.
Source: indy100

gisthabit:
https://gisthabit.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/marriage.png

Your life changes into a new phase the moment you make the decision to get married. Married life comes with its own advantages and disadvantages.

I am not going to dwell on the pros and cons of marriage. But I need you to know that marriage requires a lot of sacrifices from both parties involved. And that the benefits are far higher than the disadvantages.

My concern in this article is to highlight 3 important and critical steps that are necessary when moving from bachelorhood to marriage life.

Trust me, there are a lot of steps involved in the process of getting married but I have put together in this article three fundamental steps that are crucial and necessary.

3 Fundamental Steps for Getting Married for Bachelors

#1. Move out of your parents’ house

This is a brutal fact that shouldn’t be polished. You should consider moving out of your parents’ or family house the very moment you decide to get married.

Starting your own family require that you should have some basic home appliances. Ranging from furniture, kitchen utensils and other basic items.

From experience, staying with your parents have a way of discouraging you from buying personal properties needed to start life.

The financial burden being placed on you by your family can be overbearing especially when you are staying with them. Sometimes they depend solely on you that they may not want to engage themselves in any money making venture simply because they know that you are always there to provide their needs.

Staying alone also help you to know your true financial capabilities. It helps you to know if you can be able to bring in someone into your life and at the same time pay the person’s bills.

#2. Prepare yourself

Never make the mistake of dabbling into marriage with any form of preparation. I am sure that you wouldn’t want to call it a quit after a few months of getting married.

Getting married requires some level of preparations. It could be emotionally, spiritually and even financially.

Read books or consult marriage counsellors to help guide you make the right decisions ahead of marriage.

I recommend you read this book: Things I wish I’d Known Before We Got Married by Gary Chapman.

#3. Start a relationship

Gone are those days when out of nowhere our parents will just spring up with a woman for us to marry. Nowadays, we make our choices and we live with it whether good or bad.

Being in a relationship gives you the opportunity to get to know the person before making the decision to settle down with the woman or not.

I know that we have to work hard to make ourselves financially capable to handle marriage expenditures. But we shouldn’t get so busy to the extent that there wouldn’t be time to get to meet and know the right life partner.

The long and short is that having a relationship avails you the window to evaluate your compatibility with your future partner if carefully utilized.

Lastly, never go into a relationship with a woman with the hope of marrying her. Instead, start off with an open mind.

Having an open mind will help you to see both the good and bad side of her and guide you into making an unbiased decision.

Source: https://gisthabit.com/3-fundamental-steps-for-getting-married-for-bachelors/