₦airaland Forum

MajorJeffery:
At least he has shown to be genuine with this so I suggest you give him a full disclosure about your health status before your wedding becomes another Vegas wedding.
It's true, we Nigerians love to have kids no matter the kind of love invloved. Even Saint Valentine himself can't change that so I suggest you guys need to come to a compromise.

I think even in Vegas the say “for better or worse in sickness and in health....till death do us part”

victorian:
But at least one will try if there is money, than to seat idle.
My married aunt of 46years old after 20years of marriage and endless trials in drugs and fertility treatments, she eventually got pregnant with twins boys.

Another married friend of mine, shes not that rich. Her husband too is just an average worker and it took them 5 years, before she got pregnant. And they are not rich but she confided in me that her fertility is low and her doctor prescribed some certain drugs for her, which she was taking consistently. Before she and her husband were always going to church night vigils, church programs, they are even workers in church, prayers with prayer warrior and pastor everytime. Until Pastor asked them , have they gone for checkup? They said hmm no! They are believing in God. Their Pastor said faith without work is dead and they should go check themselves and that's how they did and knew the wife has low fertility.




So if it's you missraine, what will be your decision in such marriage? Or relationship?

You lost me here
“Before she and her husband were always going to church night vigils, church programs, they are even workers in church, prayers with prayer warrior and pastor everytime. Until Pastor asked them , have they gone for checkup? They said hmm no! They are believing in God. Their Pastor said faith without work is dead and they should go check themselves and that's how they did and knew the wife has low fertility”

Are you aware that someove will step outside the marriage to have a child even when she knows it’s the man with the issueZ

So unless you went to their appointments and saw their results I remain skeptical.
I would walk away. I can’t crucify someone who was honest.

Odabo123:
I think even in Vegas the say “for better or worse in sickness and in health....till death do us part”

That do indeed
Been to fair few.

MissRaine69:
You lost me here
“Before she and her husband were always going to church night vigils, church programs, they are even workers in church, prayers with prayer warrior and pastor everytime. Until Pastor asked them , have they gone for checkup? They said hmm no! They are believing in God. Their Pastor said faith without work is dead and they should go check themselves and that's how they did and knew the wife has low fertility”

Are you aware that someove will step outside the marriage to have a child even when she knows it’s the man with the issueZ

So unless you went to their appointments and saw their results I remain skeptical.
I would walk away. I can’t crucify someone who was honest.

I meant they were all about prayers without checking themselves medically. For 5years they were on prayers, night vigils and fasting, but no pregnancy, until Pastor told them to go for checkup, they went, the man was certified OK. But the wife fertility was low, So she took drugs and injections to boost her fertility and eggs. Within one year, she got pregnant. They have three kids now.

Then For me, stepping outside to get pregnant? I won't do such unless we talk about it and he agrees to it. Cause u will be surprised, some of these men know they have the fault but will play along foolishly with their wives
Their wives will feel they are smart giving him another man's child but he himself is aware he's not the father. He will smile and pretend to be happy but There and then, he will never trust her again. But simply play along with her.
That's one reason we have zero trust in some marriages.

So it's better to walk away if procedures to increase his sperm count is not working. Better to move on. Likewise for a woman too, if it's detected she had tampered with her womb and no uterus? Biko let the man get another wife.

victorian:
I meant they were all about prayers without checking themselves medically. For 5years they were on prayers, night vigils and fasting, but no pregnancy, until Pastor told them to go for checkup, they went, the man was certified OK. But the wife fertility was low, So she took drugs and injections to boost her fertility and eggs. Within one year, she got pregnant. They have three kids now.

Then For me, stepping outside to get pregnant? I won't do such unless we talk about it and he agrees to it. Cause u will be surprised, some of these men know they have the fault but will play along foolishly with their wives
Their wives will feel they are smart giving him another man's child but he himself is aware he's not the father. He will smile and pretend to be happy but There and then, he will never trust her again. But simply play along with her.
That's one reason we have zero trust in some marriages.

So it's better to walk away if procedures to increase his sperm count is not working. Better to move on. Likewise for a woman too, if it's detected she had tampered with her womb and no uterus? Biko let the man get another wife.

SO BASICALLY THEY DID IVF THEN BROUGHT OUT KIDS. EVEN WITHOUT THE PRAYERS, IF THEY WERE EDUCATED AND AWARE SHE WOULD STILL HAVE HAD KIDS WITH IVF.

I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT IVF IS LIKE FORCING A WOMAN TO BORN KIDS LIKE RATS, IT IS DANGEROUS TO HER HEALTH

wetdick:
SO BASICALLY THEY DID IVF THEN BROUGHT OUT KIDS

She doesn't have money for IVF, she and her husband are teachers . They are not rich like that.

She was placed on some drugs and injections to boost her fertility.
After a year she got pregnant. The pregnancy was monitored and she gave birth, after two years, she got pregnant again, gave birth to another child, then just last year she had another one. That's three kids.

Cause they went for medical checkup.

wetdick:
SO BASICALLY THEY DID IVF THEN BROUGHT OUT KIDS. EVEN WITHOUT THE PRAYERS, IF THEY WERE EDUCATED AND AWARE SHE WOULD STILL HAVE HAD KIDS WITH IVF.

I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT IVF IS LIKE FORCING A WOMAN TO BORN KIDS LIKE RATS, IT IS DANGEROUS TO HER HEALTH

She didn't go thru IVF

victorian:
She doesn't have money for IVF, she and her husband are teachers . They are not rich like that.

She was placed on some drugs and injections to boost her fertility.
After a year she got pregnant. The pregnancy was monitored and she gave birth, after two years, she got pregnant again, gave birth to another child, then just last year she had another one. That's three kids.

Cause they went for medical checkup.

so they gave her fertility drugs and you think it is cheap for a teacher salary

To the OP, girl, go with your boyfriend to your doctor and check your fertility. Also go with your boyfriend to HIS doctor and check HIS fertility. Then you both can talk as you both will be sure how are the possibilities.

Doesn't want to get a child outside marriage hence isn't trying to get one with you now, but he wouldn't hesitate getting one outside if married and kids aren't forth coming?

Odabo123:
I guess my point is I feel like it’s just an excuse because chances are I CAN have children

.

BUT YOU ARE NOT TOO SURE ON THE LATER DATE, I KNOW YOUR FEELINGS MOSTLY AT THAT AGE AS A WOMAN, BUT MY ADVISE TO YOU IS THAT AS A HUMAN ALWAYS HAVE AN OPTION IN WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING, AND BE BRAVE ENOUGH TO CONFRONT YOUR FEAR, I KNOW IN THE PROCESS OF CONFRONTING FEAR YOU LOOSE OR WIN, THAT IS LIFE, BE BRAVE IN YOUR DECISION'S, GOODLUCK.

Odabo123:
I am posting this for advice. I met the man of my dreams in Aug 2018. He is from Nigeria, he had only lived in America for 5 months when I met him. I am an American citizen but not by birth i am originally from the Caribbean i don’t know Nigerian customs other than what he has taught me. We are both currently enrolled in university obtaining our professional degrees he is in finance sector I am in medical field. He is 34 and I am 32 neither of us are previously married or have children. It has been a wonderful romance but we have had our hiccups along the way as most couples do. My family fear he is not genuine but I do not feel this way. He has had some women as friends that I did not approve of. Nonetheless we are working through that. I have met his brother and spoken to his sisters and nieces. I love his family. They remind me of my own very solid and loving. He has only met my sister but agrees that my family seems like his. Both of our parents have been married over 50 years. The have no outside children neither of us were raised that way. We both come from Christian households and attend church together when we are not working. A month ago after we had been dating 7 months I asked him a hypothetical question. “if I could not get pregnant would this be a deal breaker?” His answer was yes it would be and further to this he informed that he would either file for divorce or get a woman outside of our marriage pregnant because kids are mandatory for him. This surprised me, I am high risk for pregnancy (he was told from the start) the plan was I would plan with my doctor and get off any medications that might hurt the baby, this did not mean I cannot get pregnant we may just need to try longer, or it might be complicated, but as with all women there is never a guarantee. I asked him for assurance that he would not step outside our relationship, if we had this issue and I would in return assure him that we would try to have as many children as he wanted. He could not give me this assurance . I asked him to let us try to get pregnant now so we could know and If I got pregnant we could get married he says he cannot get me pregnant outside of marriage.
Now he wants to end the relationship.
Is this how any Nigerian man would react or is it more likely that he is looking for an excuse to move on?

Caribbean is not a country what's the name of your country?

Odabo123:
I am posting this for advice. I met the man of my dreams in Aug 2018. He is from Nigeria, he had only lived in America for 5 months when I met him. I am an American citizen but not by birth I am originally from the Caribbean. I don’t know Nigerian customs other than what he has taught me. We are both currently enrolled in university obtaining our professional degrees he is in finance sector I am in medical field. He is 34 and I am 32 neither of us are previously married or have children. It has been a wonderful romance but we have had our hiccups along the way as most couples do. My family fear he is not genuine but I do not feel this way. He has had some women as friends that I did not approve of. Nonetheless we are working through that. I have met his brother and spoken to his sisters and nieces. I love his family. They remind me of my own very solid and loving. He has only met my sister but agrees that my family seems like his. Both of our parents have been married over 50 years. The have no outside children neither of us were raised that way. We both come from Christian households and attend church together when we are not working. A month ago after we had been dating 7 months I asked him a hypothetical question. “if I could not get pregnant would this be a deal breaker?” His answer was yes it would be and further to this he informed that he would either file for divorce or get a woman outside of our marriage pregnant because kids are mandatory for him. This surprised me, I am high risk for pregnancy (he was told from the start) the plan was I would plan with my doctor and get off any medications that might hurt the baby, this did not mean I cannot get pregnant we may just need to try longer, or it might be complicated, but as with all women there is never a guarantee. I asked him for assurance that he would not step outside our relationship, if we had this issue and I would in return assure him that we would try to have as many children as he wanted. He could not give me this assurance . I asked him to let us try to get pregnant now so we could know and If I got pregnant we could get married he says he cannot get me pregnant outside of marriage.
Now he wants to end the relationship.
Is this how any Nigerian man would react or is it more likely that he is looking for an excuse to move on?

LMAO, look at the contradictions and hypocrisy. My friend dated a Nigerian man for 2 years, she grew tired of the relationship and wanted out. He wouldn't leave her alone. The only thing that made him leave was when she told him that she never wanted to have any kids. She hasn't heard from him since. You said that you are 32, girl he's not interested you, Nigerian men love young girls, at 32 you are an old maid to him. , Unless he's seeking that green card. Anything that goes south now is your own fault because he has been semi-honest with you.

Odabo123:
I think even in Vegas the say “for better or worse in sickness and in health....till death do us part”

They only take church weddings seriously that's why Vegas was mentioned.

Odabo123:
Are Nigerian men just looking for baby makers?

Yes, American baby makers with money.

khiaa:
Yes, American baby makers with money.

Miss anti-nigerian has arrived. so all nigerian men are looking for american baby makers with money. so you think, it is all nigerian men that want to immigrate and then get green cards. be like say you never jam guys wey no send immigrating to other countries.

wetdick:
Miss anti-nigerian Africoons has arrived. so all nigerian Africoon men are looking for american baby makers with money

Not all but most.

khiaa:
Not all but most.

i believe the hustlers and the green card lovers, that is the guys you and your friends always meet.

wetdick:
Miss anti-nigerian has arrived. so all nigerian men are looking for american baby makers with money. so you think, it is all nigerian men that want to immigrate and then get green cards. be like say you never jam guys wey no send immigrating to other countries.

Not just America, any country including Liberia.

wetdick:
i believe the hustlers and the green card lovers, that is the guys you and your friends always meet.

You are wrong, all we have to hear is Nigerian and we run for our dear lives.

khiaa:
Not just America, any country including Liberia.

lol....the only reason you will see a nigerian getting citizenship in liberia or any country other than america is because of business, easier doing business as a citizen, i think it is a smart move, many americans, british, chinese, indians business men are doing that also when they move to those countries, including nigeria.

khiaa:
You are wrong, all we have to hear is Nigerian and we run for our dear lives.

really but in one of your post, you said you love nigerian men, stop pretending.... that you all run on NL but in the real world, your pussy gets wet when you see a Nigerian man walking down the street of your city

wetdick:
really but in one of your post, you said you love nigerian men, stop pretending.... that you all run on NL but in the real world, your pussy get wet when you see a nigerian man walking down the street of NY

I'm not in NY I'm in Cali. there aren't a lot of you here. The thing is, we will have to weed out the Nigerian men from the Africoons, its just too many of you Africoons here. Please send the strong, proud African warriors here and you Africoons stay where you are. I'm wet? If that were true anytime you Africoons open your mouth I dry up like a prune.

khiaa:
I'm not in NY I'm in Cali. there aren't a lot of you here. The thing is, we will have to weed out the Nigerian men from the Africoons, its just too many of you Africoons here. Please send the strong, proud African warriors here and you Africoons stay where you are. I'm wet? If that were true anytime you Africoons open your mouth I dry up like a prune.

you better dry up like a prune....but is it not funny, that a coon needs an african warrior for a partner. you better leave our men and go after your men. i think, the best person for you, will be another coon like yourself

[color=#006600][/color]

Odabo123:
I agree I am close to the situation and emotionally involved. However, is it just a fantasy western way of thinking? Am I missing something? If two people love each other should fear be the motivation behind quitting. Prior to this I was Ifemi. How could a 50/50 possibility change this. It seems backward to me.

My dear you Need to understand something.
To some people having children is a must the only way they can be 100% committed to a union is having children. To them love is just not enough.

Then there are those that don't really care about children. being in a loving union is all that matters to them. They are happy and completely comfortable with or without children.

wetdick:
you better dry up like a prune....but is it not funny, that a coon needs an african warrior for a partner. you better leave our men and go after your men. i think, the best person for you, will be another coon like yourself

Before you can call me coon you would have to define the word. So what is the definition?

khiaa:
Before you can call me coon you would have to define the word. So what is the definition?

i dont have to define anything, have we not spoken and argue with each other before, i have seen your coonery when you argue, it is everlasting. the funny stuff and the biggest delusion you have is that you think your coonery and ignorance is enlightenment and the truth.

wetdick:
i dont have to define anything, have we not spoken and argue with each other before, i have seen your coonery when you argue, it is everlasting. the funny stuff and the biggest delusion you have is that you think your coonery and ignorance is enlightenment and the truth.

Yeah, what you typed proves that you don't know the meaning of the word because if you did you couldn't form your fingers to type that I am a coon. Heres another term you may be familiar with as it does fit you. "Buck Dancer."

Odabo123:
I am posting this for advice. I met the man of my dreams in Aug 2018. He is from Nigeria, he had only lived in America for 5 months when I met him. I am an American citizen but not by birth I am originally from the Caribbean. I don’t know Nigerian customs other than what he has taught me. We are both currently enrolled in university obtaining our professional degrees he is in finance sector I am in medical field. He is 34 and I am 32 neither of us are previously married or have children. It has been a wonderful romance but we have had our hiccups along the way as most couples do. My family fear he is not genuine but I do not feel this way. He has had some women as friends that I did not approve of. Nonetheless we are working through that. I have met his brother and spoken to his sisters and nieces. I love his family. They remind me of my own very solid and loving. He has only met my sister but agrees that my family seems like his. Both of our parents have been married over 50 years. The have no outside children neither of us were raised that way. We both come from Christian households and attend church together when we are not working. A month ago after we had been dating 7 months I asked him a hypothetical question. “if I could not get pregnant would this be a deal breaker?” His answer was yes it would be and further to this he informed that he would either file for divorce or get a woman outside of our marriage pregnant because kids are mandatory for him. This surprised me, I am high risk for pregnancy (he was told from the start) the plan was I would plan with my doctor and get off any medications that might hurt the baby, this did not mean I cannot get pregnant we may just need to try longer, or it might be complicated, but as with all women there is never a guarantee. I asked him for assurance that he would not step outside our relationship, if we had this issue and I would in return assure him that we would try to have as many children as he wanted. He could not give me this assurance . I asked him to let us try to get pregnant now so we could know and If I got pregnant we could get married he says he cannot get me pregnant outside of marriage.
Now he wants to end the relationship.
Is this how any Nigerian man would react or is it more likely that he is looking for an excuse to move on?

He may be looking for an excuse but the truth is.. To us Nigerians. The beauty of marriage is kids(children) so if that happening his family will advice he seeks that outside of wedlock.. Its d way we Africans are wired.. U shdnt be angry bout that... If u both love each other.. Then get married n remember u will need to allow the kids have a strong tie to their fatherland.. If u can do that am sure u will have a fruitful marriage with him... As it obvious hes not marrying u for green card

The bitter truth.... you may not like it... but you should appreciate you know what you are dealing with upfront. It was good for you to let him know you may not be able to bear children..... and it was good for him to tell you he must have children. Did you prefer him to wait until after marriage?.... then divorce?...or step outside of the marriage? Be thankful that he is truthful .... having children is most important to him..... that's his belief... don't waste time trying change a person's belief. You a Christian.... should I start converting you to Islam?...or would I be wasting my time?...same thing.
On trying to have a child before marriage... are you sacrificing your Christian values in pursuit of marriage? Maybe he holds his dearly and now see you as a fair weather Christian and now wants out. Finallllly... maybe fibroid is the root cause of not conceiving....just saying...you need a check k up.

khiaa:
Yeah, what you typed proves that you don't know the meaning of the word because if you did you couldn't form your fingers to type that I am a coon.

dont use reverse psychology on me

even the word coon that you love using so much was formed by racist white people to describe anything you do that is seen as funny or entertaining.

wetdick:
dont use reverse psychology on me

even the word coon that you love using so much was formed by the racist white people to describe anything you do that is seen as funny or entertaining.

No, you're wrong that's not iiiiit. You are describing "Buck Dancing for your white daddy."