₦airaland Forum

BETPAWA:
There is something she's not telling you about...

How do you people make love?

Does she moan?..d

Does she scream your name out loud when you hit the Gspot?

MrLankeeee:
Maybe she has spiritual husband.

victorian:
Oga, you are not tall dark and handsome. Talk true make devil shame.



In my own case, I stopped myself on-time from marrying the guy who proposed to me, after opening my heart to my Pastor. My Pastor said do I want to be lifeless in the marriage, I said no with tears almost running down my cheeks. He said good, then don't marry him, cos u will regret it. Tell him kindly u simply don't love him, which is the truth. There and then I felt so free and alive, I even felt like hugging the pastor with so much joy! Lol
I told the guy, I'm sorry dear, I can't go thru with it. And I don't regret it. I feel free and alive! . I don't care about my age. I just want to feel at peace wit my soul and being.

Pkingman:
G

Meliaen:
Jeez, you just told my story! However, in my case, no pastor helped me think things over. I had to find the courage to do things my way. We were together for 8 solid years and when marriage started to look like it was drawing nearer, I could see myself developing cold feet and crying on my wedding day so I summoned the courage and broke up with him. What op described is exactly how I felt about my ex. Matter of fact, I could pass as his wife. If ex would describe me, he would say things like I wasn't demanding and all of that. I never did ask him anything materially. When I called it quits, he did everything to get me back. Literally asked my family to beg on his behalf but I stood my ground. Ex is married now but calls me his wife. The break up shook him so terribly that he resigned from his job and left the country.

Splinz:
Wisdom is profitable to direct here.

To show off someone or something connotes a sense of arrogance which invariably turns people off.

Often time, in fact, most of the time, people's primary motive of showing off is to boast, spite and move others to jealousy. Is this really what you want in your marriage--to attract an "evil eye"?

Again, wisdom is profitable to direct.



There's no but.

All I see is a woman who's mentally and emotionally matured. And without mincing words, she's a rare gem. I see no abnormally but a home maker, one who actively works to make her home 'whispers' ends in her bedroom. And just like you, of course I see a wonderful partner!

You may want to retrace your steps and thank goodness for your blessings. Yes, you may want to start counting your blessings one by one...

Xaos:
Clone her phone. If you can't, then clone all her SM accounts. If she's hiding something you will know.

But before you do, I want you to know

— you wouldn't find anything.
— your wife isn't ashamed of you or something like that.

It's just that she really, really, really hates attention.
I myself I am programmed that way.
Your wife is a mirror image of myself.

But please do clone her SM for your satisfaction.

gaby:
Hmmm

Some of you guys are just so unfathomable and it irks me to no end how you bandy the word "educated" as if common sense is taught in schools especially our kinda schools.

You saw all these with your korokoro eyes while dating but simply pretended as usual that it wasn't there because in your mind your being an architect who can spoil her with gifts will cure her craze...fafafa fawoool

Look guy...zero love..is what that woman sure has for you and you disgust her fantastically. If she had her way or choice she wouldn't wish to be caught a thousand miles around you..its so frigging obvious. You were just a means to an end considering her biological time was waning..

She lost the one she truly loved for whatever reasons and was left with no choice than to manage you to fulfil all righteousness such as having a child seeing how time was ticking out on her coupled with pressures from her family too.

I won't be surprised if her true love is the one she is working towards moving closer to overseas.

I'm seated here typing and wondering how your "Architectural" brains could miss spotting how her "Doctoral or Surgical brain" is conveniently using you as the "available to be settled for in the absence of the desirables" haba oga...are you that low in self esteem or looks.

The lack of an okay self esteem is as well a huge turn off for most women so you know, and from the look of your write up you sure exudes this.

Wetin dey happen na...make una still try dey face reality and tackle am head on.

You see say you dey irritate person plus the person dey shame for you, you still dey force yourself on am cum dey claim successful architect. Your "trying too hard" to win her true love is even more repulsive to her including the gifts..

Na all these kind dundee characters dey make me sometimes dey agree say instead wey person go born mumu make e jejely born omila...

Abi na the woman disvirgin you or na Doctor kill you for your former life wey cum make you swear say you must marry doctor for your new life lol..

Guys make una dey shine una eye well well like my daughter abeg...no time to check time o

Just incase none of the above checks out...guy you dey marry person wey done die for one side prematurely wey him soul never rest according to the Nigerian gist.

Wake up man..you can do better than this...life is too long or short for all these arrant bullocks...yolo man...

That woman's true love is in a corner and probably getting his steady cut on the side from her because he must be married too hence your coming into the picture.

This story aptly captures and rings so true to the saying " Money can not buy love".

djon78:
You got it spot on. She doesn't love the guy.
And like you said, men should marry women crazy and madly in love with them.

I was like this mans wife. There was a girl I was madly and crazily in love with then. She was very good looking body wise. But I lost my business and millions in the process due to a very bad investment. This girl no want do again. She broke off. I was really sad.
In fact after that, a part of me died.
After sometime came along another woman.
But this one I didn't really feel her.
But this girl was giving me attention, she was crazy about me.

That was when it dawned on me that man should marry women crazy and madly in love with them. She will do things to make you happy,
All the issue of wife not allowing the husband to touch her won't arise. She will even oversupply the goods.

My cousin also had the same issue. He broke up with the good looking girl he was supposed to marry. The woman he married now too like am very well. Add to that, the guy is doing extremely well, has a manufacturing plant with his products daily used all over the country. I was with them recently and the wife was telling me she is crazy about the husband, although the Husband to dey do strong head, and I was saying in my mind, that's the way it is meant to be for men.

As a guy don't ever do anything with woman wey no like you. That's the ops problem.

gaby:
Hmmm

Some of you guys are just so unfathomable and it irks me to no end how you bandy the word "educated" as if common sense is taught in schools especially our kinda schools.

You saw all these with your korokoro eyes while dating but simply pretended as usual that it wasn't there because in your mind your being an architect who can spoil her with gifts will cure her craze...fafafa fawoool

Look guy...zero love..is what that woman sure has for you and you disgust her fantastically. If she had her way or choice she wouldn't wish to be caught a thousand miles around you..its so frigging obvious. You were just a means to an end considering her biological time was waning..

She lost the one she truly loved for whatever reasons and was left with no choice than to manage you to fulfil all righteousness such as having a child seeing how time was ticking out on her coupled with pressures from her family too.

I won't be surprised if her true love is the one she is working towards moving closer to overseas.

I'm seated here typing and wondering how your "Architectural" brains could miss spotting how her "Doctoral or Surgical brain" is conveniently using you as the "available to be settled for in the absence of the desirables" haba oga...are you that low in self esteem or looks.

The lack of an okay self esteem is as well a huge turn off for most women so you know, and from the look of your write up you sure exudes this.

Wetin dey happen na...make una still try dey face reality and tackle am head on.

You see say you dey irritate person plus the person dey shame for you, you still dey force yourself on am cum dey claim successful architect. Your "trying too hard" to win her true love is even more repulsive to her including the gifts..

Na all these kind dundee characters dey make me sometimes dey agree say instead wey person go born mumu make e jejely born omila...

Abi na the woman disvirgin you or na Doctor kill you for your former life wey cum make you swear say you must marry doctor for your new life lol..

Guys make una dey shine una eye well well like my daughter abeg...no time to check time o

Just incase none of the above checks out...guy you dey marry person wey done die for one side prematurely wey him soul never rest according to the Nigerian gist.

Wake up man..you can do better than this...life is too long or short for all these arrant bullocks...yolo man...

That woman's true love is in a corner and probably getting his steady cut on the side from her because he must be married too hence your coming into the picture.

This story aptly captures and rings so true to the saying " Money can not buy love".

RiyadhGoddess:
Sister you and I are one and the same, honestly nothing moves me, I only try to play along sometimes make e no be like say I be badbelle, it has nothing to do with being heart broken, my present relationship is the only one I've been in my life, all this emotional stuff is not my thing, my man complains too sha.


Oga, there's 100% nothing wrong with ur wife. She just doesn't like PDA that's all. She's just like me, I don't public or media stuff. Don't measure ur wife love by the numbers or amount of ur pictures or both of u pictures or love write up she post online or in public. She loves to keep it low. Oh and there are some ladies like me who hates this Wow wow thing or gushing over presents and all. Till today I still ask myself what's makes some ladies cry during proposal or what makes them emotional when their boyfriend or husbands gifts them. Like is he not supposed to propose before ni or is he not supposed to gift them... Some ladies are naturally not emotional. Please enjoy your home/wife in peace. There's nothing wrong with ur wife. She's 100% normal. Don't create trouble where there's no trouble.
Me as a person don't get moved by anything. Nkan o Jo Mi loju. I hate surprises too. I don't display my family on social media doesn't mean I fell from the sky or hate them...

MrLankeeee:
Maybe she has spiritual husband.

Pkingman:
HELP! My Wife Is Abnormal

Hello house, Pls I need mature advice on this issue.
I had to create this account as to remain anonymous.

I've been married for 2 years plus, with a son and expecting another.
The problem is that my wife is not proud of me, not proud to be associated with me and does not show excitement concerning me or gifts that I buy for her.. She is just too plain, too emotionless.

It started from our dating days.. We dated for a year plus.. She never wanted people to know about us. Always hiding me. As if the relationship was a secret. She never asked me for a pin.. I was happy she wasn't the demanding type.
When I proposed to her, I expected her to go over the moon, show excitement and flood social media with pictures.. But no way.
She was just mute and calm about it. She didn't even accept the idea of pre-wedding pictures when I suggested it.. Said it wasn't compulsory, she doesn't have time and energy for that..Few weeks later, she uploaded very beautiful studio pictures of herself alone in nice clothing, shoes, accessories on her facebook timeline without any caption about getting married or love.. Nothing about me at all.

Wedding came... She opted for a small quiet wedding.. Although we could afford a big wedding.. I was surprised.. So unfeminine... Women always prefer loud crowded weddings to show off.. She was supposed to be extremely excited as she was getting married esp at over 30 years when a woman is considered by societal standards to be hopeless and too old for marriage but no! She went about the whole festivities like nothing special was happening to her.

After the wedding, she didn't upload our wedding pictures on social media like normal women do. I then uploaded few pictures of us and tagged her. She immediately untagged herself and told me I could post whatever I wanted without necessarily tagging her.
Months after, she uploaded 2 pictures of herself alone in wedding gown and traditional attire.. None of mine till date.
She doesn't have any picture of me or us together on her facebook profile, she doesn't upload any picture of me or us on her whatsapp. It's always her picture alone or with our baby or her parents and siblings.
She hardly even takes pictures with me at social functions. She prefers personal pictures. Sometimes, she will even crop me out of her pictures and post only herself. She just keeps going on as if I don't exist. When I ask her why, she says she doesn't need to display me online to know she is married to me.
On my birthday, she didn't wish me HBD on any social media platform but she uploaded pictures of her 2 male colleagues at work(she is a medical doctor, a surgeon in training and planning to relocate abroad soon) and wished them HBD, wrote nice things about them.
Back home, all I got was a small get together, cake, drinks and gifts but I would have preferred to be acknowledged online as well. On her birthday, I dare not show her off or say anything on social media, she won't find it funny.. She prefers everything we do is private.
The part that breaks my heart is her attitude towards gifts.. When I met her, she was working, earning big, lived alone and had a car.I was happy she wasn't demanding or greedy... But I noticed if I buy her something, she just coldly thanks me and that's all. I am an Architect, working in a firm and also into private jobs.. I recently completed a project and was paid in millions.. I thought I should surprise my wife so I bought her a new car(an SUV).... She acted so plain.. Just said thank you and that was all.. Instead of displaying it all over social media platforms, write lovey dovey epistles about me and celebrate me like other women do.

By all standards, I am handsome, tall, dark, educated, nice guy, well to do, so why is she not proud to show me off?
Why does she not want me to show her off?

In all fairness, she has been a very nice partner so far but why this cold abnormal attitude ?This is not how women ought to behave.
I am getting tired already,i have discussed this with her but she doesn't wish to change.
What could be wrong with her?

UyaiIncomparabl:
Another thing, you saw these signs during courtship and still stubbornly had to dive in? You're the architect of your own misfortune. I just hope she hasn't been.

victorian:
Oga, you are not tall dark and handsome. Talk true make devil shame.

Anyways I understand what she's going through. Cause I almost got myself entrapped in such kind of marriage but counselling with my Pastor saved me on-time.
I'm not saying u are a bad person, neither am I saying u are ugly but the thing is this : you can be someonelse dream man , perfect and Denzel looking to another woman except your wife. Your wife has the idea of how her ideal man should look like.
Not all women are tall, dark and handsome as their ideal looking man. Some prefer average height, natural for looks with a muscular or athletic body. That's why God created us in different shapes and sizes.
And your wife who got married in her 30s must have seen it all, got heartbroken by the kind of guys, she would have love to marry and settle down with. But reality dawned on her, such guys won't make A good husband to her. Then u strolled along into life, she realised u are serious with marriage. She checked herself, she's not getting younger, what da heck! Lemme marry. I will simply resign my self to this marriage as long as I have a family with him. Who cares about happiness and love. Most marriages sef are just there.
And with what friends will always ring into our ears everyday. Marriage is not about love, it's about marrying a man who is ready and capable to stay married. Just be humble and calm, have your kids and have a business or career going for yourself. That's all. We don't always marry who we wish to marry and here we are with our kids. You cannot be selective anymore, forget about falling in love and just Marry!
That's exactly how your wife feels. She's resigned to her fate with u. She cannot leave u, cos she's determined to stay married. Her happiness is irrelevant as long as she's Mrs.

What a life


In my own case, I stopped myself on-time from marrying the guy who proposed to me, after opening my heart to my Pastor. My Pastor said do I want to be lifeless in the marriage, I said no with tears almost running down my cheeks. He said good, then don't marry him, cos u will regret it. Tell him kindly u simply don't love him, which is the truth. There and then I felt so free and alive, I even felt like hugging the pastor with so much joy! Lol
I told the guy, I'm sorry dear, I can't go thru with it. And I don't regret it. I feel free and alive! . I don't care about my age. I just want to feel at peace wit my soul and being.

Kennydoc:
She posted only her personal pictures taken at her wedding.
She posts pictures of herself, siblings, parents, kids but not husband.
She even make posts about her colleagues on their birthdays but not her husband.
She cannot even allow her husband make a post about her, even if she doesn't want to post about him.
Come on, this cannot be normal. It would have been a different thing if she's not visible on social media at all.
She either doesn't love him or she isn't proud of him or both. She's simply managing him.

victorian:
Oga, you are not tall dark and handsome. Talk true make devil shame.

Anyways I understand what she's going through. Cause I almost got myself entrapped in such kind of marriage but counselling with my Pastor saved me on-time.
I'm not saying u are a bad person, neither am I saying u are ugly but the thing is this : you can be someonelse dream man , perfect and Denzel looking to another woman except your wife. Your wife has the idea of how her ideal man should look like.
Not all women are tall, dark and handsome as their ideal looking man. Some prefer average height, natural for looks with a muscular or athletic body. That's why God created us in different shapes and sizes.
And your wife who got married in her 30s must have seen it all, got heartbroken by the kind of guys, she would have love to marry and settle down with. But reality dawned on her, such guys won't make A good husband to her. Then u strolled along into life, she realised u are serious with marriage. She checked herself, she's not getting younger, what da heck! Lemme marry. I will simply resign my self to this marriage as long as I have a family with him. Who cares about happiness and love. Most marriages sef are just there.
And with what friends will always ring into our ears everyday. Marriage is not about love, it's about marrying a man who is ready and capable to stay married. Just be humble and calm, have your kids and have a business or career going for yourself. That's all. We don't always marry who we wish to marry and here we are with our kids. You cannot be selective anymore, forget about falling in love and just Marry!
That's exactly how your wife feels. She's resigned to her fate with u. She cannot leave u, cos she's determined to stay married. Her happiness is irrelevant as long as she's Mrs.

What a life


In my own case, I stopped myself on-time from marrying the guy who proposed to me, after opening my heart to my Pastor. My Pastor said do I want to be lifeless in the marriage, I said no with tears almost running down my cheeks. He said good, then don't marry him, cos u will regret it. Tell him kindly u simply don't love him, which is the truth. There and then I felt so free and alive, I even felt like hugging the pastor with so much joy! Lol
I told the guy, I'm sorry dear, I can't go thru with it. And I don't regret it. I feel free and alive! . I don't care about my age. I just want to feel at peace wit my soul and being.

Acidosis:
..but why would you marry someone who isn't madly in love with you? BTW, no one is emotionless, they just haven't found the one they love. Love do not obey certain human principles, e.g. privacy. Love should make you go out of bounds sometimes.

Two things are involved here; first, your wife is still crazy about an ex she couldn't marry due to family issues, genotype, and other external, not personality differences or infighting. Second, your wife has never been privileged to fall in love with a man.

While the first option spells more doom, you still have the power to turn around the situation. You can make absolutely any woman fall in love with you. It is never too late to change the situation.

You have used attention, incessant gifts, and obsession and nothing has changed. Have you tried withdrawing, making yourself unavailable and giving her the impression her love is unimportant? Women are wired in a different way bro. You need to withdraw the expression of some feelings and act of loving to get her attention. If you made her picture your wallpaper, delete. Remove her picture on your dp and don't upload any for birthdays, anniversaries, etc. That's how you get her attention and put her emotions to work.

uckennety:
Congratulations

Add that to your CV

Thanks to the bitches that dealt with me I can't love again

UyaiIncomparabl:
She's not abnormal. All of her actions are/were premeditated and as thus; are conscious choices she's made overtime.

I can't come to a conclusion on this, but I think (a strong possibility) that your wife doesn't love you. You' were just available for her to make as a choice to salvage her biological clock from waning out.

Just as they say, when the desirable isn't available, you make the available one your choice. I love to show off what I 'LOVE'. So you see, it's tit for tat.

A deep check; She takes pictures, but excludes/crops you out, you tag her, she untags you, you buy her gifts, she cringes and in turn makes you feel worthless, she tells you she doesn't need to show you off to the world to know you both are married. That's a blatant lie from the abyss. In as much as I want to be stingy, nay say cautious with the truth, but I have to let it all out. You're not her fantasy. Forget that part about you being tall, dark and handsome. Beauty is subjective. You may think you're attractive but she sees you below that. How do you people even make love? Is there chemistry?

Another thing, you saw these signs during courtship and still stubbornly had to dive in? You're the architect of your own misfortune. I just hope she hasn't been cheating on you. I won't say she's unemotional, she isn't. (A person with less or little emotion transcends such vibe to people around him/her, they have no feelings). She just doesn't vibe with you. Communicate with her and hear her reasons out. I'm 100% sure it'll be gibberish. If it persists, don't be afraid to lose yourself (meet people and hobnob, and of course, get a side chick who'll heal your heart from the worries your wife gives you ). Act like you don't care. Flirt a little. She go do normal. You'll worry less eventually. I'm one against cheating, but I wouldn't have people treated like garbage.

PS; I can be very unemotional and non-challant, but this is off the radar. I only show off who shows me off. Say no to one-sided relationships!

The faster you know that humans love opportunistically, the better.
In your next life, learn not to be a second choice and don't be afraid to chose rigidly too.

UyaiIncomparabl:
You talk too much.

victorian:
Oga, you are not tall dark and handsome. Talk true make devil shame.

Anyways I understand what she's going through. Cause I almost got myself entrapped in such kind of marriage but counselling with my Pastor saved me on-time.
I'm not saying u are a bad person, neither am I saying u are ugly but the thing is this : you can be someonelse dream man , perfect and Denzel looking to another woman except your wife. Your wife has the idea of how her ideal man should look like.
Not all women are tall, dark and handsome as their ideal looking man. Some prefer average height, natural for looks with a muscular or athletic body. That's why God created us in different shapes and sizes.
And your wife who got married in her 30s must have seen it all, got heartbroken by the kind of guys, she would have love to marry and settle down with. But reality dawned on her, such guys won't make A good husband to her. Then u strolled along into life, she realised u are serious with marriage. She checked herself, she's not getting younger, what da heck! Lemme marry. I will simply resign my self to this marriage as long as I have a family with him. Who cares about happiness and love. Most marriages sef are just there.
And with what friends will always ring into our ears everyday. Marriage is not about love, it's about marrying a man who is ready and capable to stay married. Just be humble and calm, have your kids and have a business or career going for yourself. That's all. We don't always marry who we wish to marry and here we are with our kids. You cannot be selective anymore, forget about falling in love and just Marry!
That's exactly how your wife feels. She's resigned to her fate with u. She cannot leave u, cos she's determined to stay married. Her happiness is irrelevant as long as she's Mrs.

What a life


In my own case, I stopped myself on-time from marrying the guy who proposed to me, after opening my heart to my Pastor. My Pastor said do I want to be lifeless in the marriage, I said no with tears almost running down my cheeks. He said good, then don't marry him, cos u will regret it. Tell him kindly u simply don't love him, which is the truth. There and then I felt so free and alive, I even felt like hugging the pastor with so much joy! Lol
I told the guy, I'm sorry dear, I can't go thru with it. And I don't regret it. I feel free and alive! . I don't care about my age. I just want to feel at peace wit my soul and being.

Acidosis:
..
You have used attention, incessant gifts, and obsession and nothing has changed. Have you tried withdrawing, making yourself unavailable and giving her the impression her love is unimportant? Women are wired in a different way bro. You need to withdraw the expression of some feelings and act of loving to get her attention. If you made her picture your wallpaper, delete. Remove her picture on your dp and don't upload any for birthdays, anniversaries, etc. That's how you get her attention and put her emotions to work.

victorian:
Oga, you are not tall dark and handsome. Talk true make devil shame.

Anyways I understand what she's going through. Cause I almost got myself entrapped in such kind of marriage but counselling with my Pastor saved me on-time.
I'm not saying u are a bad person, neither am I saying u are ugly but the thing is this : you can be someonelse dream man , perfect and Denzel looking to another woman except your wife. Your wife has the idea of how her ideal man should look like.
Not all women are tall, dark and handsome as their ideal looking man. Some prefer average height, natural for looks with a muscular or athletic body. That's why God created us in different shapes and sizes.
And your wife who got married in her 30s must have seen it all, got heartbroken by the kind of guys, she would have love to marry and settle down with. But reality dawned on her, such guys won't make A good husband to her. Then u strolled along into life, she realised u are serious with marriage. She checked herself, she's not getting younger, what da heck! Lemme marry. I will simply resign my self to this marriage as long as I have a family with him. Who cares about happiness and love. Most marriages sef are just there.
And with what friends will always ring into our ears everyday. Marriage is not about love, it's about marrying a man who is ready and capable to stay married. Just be humble and calm, have your kids and have a business or career going for yourself. That's all. We don't always marry who we wish to marry and here we are with our kids. You cannot be selective anymore, forget about falling in love and just Marry!
That's exactly how your wife feels. She's resigned to her fate with u. She cannot leave u, cos she's determined to stay married. Her happiness is irrelevant as long as she's Mrs.

What a life


In my own case, I stopped myself on-time from marrying the guy who proposed to me, after opening my heart to my Pastor. My Pastor said do I want to be lifeless in the marriage, I said no with tears almost running down my cheeks. He said good, then don't marry him, cos u will regret it. Tell him kindly u simply don't love him, which is the truth. There and then I felt so free and alive, I even felt like hugging the pastor with so much joy! Lol
I told the guy, I'm sorry dear, I can't go thru with it. And I don't regret it. I feel free and alive! . I don't care about my age. I just want to feel at peace wit my soul and being.

bentwood85:
U seem to be filled with pride... You want your wife to display everything on social media.... I am also like her, I don't display my achievements on social media..... I

Anfieldboss:
Hello Jirair ,

Pls I'm still waiting for a reply to my last mail.