₦airaland Forum

OGHENAOGIE:
that kind living a legacy na by build house and land...so Wat if d legacy no come...na cos we de society wer it's survival of d fittest...

11thGoldTREE:
the piece is nice but when you consider the root cause of late marriage it all boils down to economic reasons. You wouldn't want to take a man who can barely afford his rent. Once he pays his rent you have to put into consideration feeding, medical bills, clothing, electricity bill among others.

Most parents are conscious of the fact that the economy has no bright prospects for starting a family early so they shy away from encouraging thier children to marry early.

What are we even saying! The societal expectations from a man is too high! Is it a man that must do everything? Let the women too marry early and foot the bills so they see how easy it is.

I personally want to marry before 30 but after marriage will my wife still be staying in my parents house? Will I still be borrowing to feed my wife? That's not the kind of life I want.
Let's all come to terms with our own reality, how many men under the age of 30 are gainfully employed enough to start a family? Let's all come to terms with the truth ; even though it's bitter

tete7000:
Who defines what is late? You? You have nothing to teach me, if anything I have more to teach you so as to take you out of your one way approach to life which can only end you and those around you in frustration. By the way you can give those lessons you want to teach others to your children, they don't move or impress me...
Nothing is late, the word in itself is relative. Relative to perspective. Many marry 'early' and end up having children 'late'. Many marry "early", only to come back and remarry "late". Only God fixes the time of man. You people should stop preaching messages that push many into desperation. By the way, where was it preached to you that marriage is a must for all?

Foxie:
Shut up!!! You're not God. My husband got a good job with a multinational oil company after we got married. His life and finances has gotten way way better compared to when he was not married and you know what? this is just the beginning. If he had continued to wait till he got his finances right, he'd still have been struggling. 'He that finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord'.

Foxie:
OP this is a very nice piece. He/she that has ears let him/her hear. Enough said.

Your life is not a benchmark for others.
Let's hear word abeg.

lefulefu:
it is he who finds a good wife oo dat finds a good tin and not jus any wife. There are some wives wey don push their husbands into commiting suicide and some wey don give their husbands heart attack. It is only if u lucky to have a good wife that u can say u have gotten a good thing.

ehemwhy:
My guy ...what you wrote is correct ..they are fact ..bit not the truth ....The truth is what God has in plan for you ...My Dad a banker ..married at 29 had me at 30 , died at 46...left nothing for at us. . my mum a civil servant married at 25,became a widow at 39...I married at 39 ...and I dare say I have set up a enough for my children ...a enough that if i die today ...I know they are in good hands ...it doesn't work out the.way you typed

dingbang:
Too much excuses in here. Smh

He who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favour from the lord.


Oh ye men of zero faith

whitering:
Those of you insulting the op would one day realize that what he has said is nothing but the truth.

Many are feeling bad not because of the write up but because of the reality on ground. Those hating should ask God to accelerate their turnaround blessings.

chemgee:
I just wish you know how Japan, Norway and most 1st world nations view marriage.. why do Nigerians place so much value on marriage/children instead of making life better?
marry on time... give birth to children.. feed your wife & children.. buy car/build house for your family.. after that you na die.
is that what God created black man to do?
why don't we think about space exploration, curing diseases, scientific breakthrough.. the whole world is entering the 4th industrial revolution, 9ja still dey dance BTW 1st/2nd, but yet marriage, religion is wat fills our discuss..
You can go ahead and marry without any source of livelihood, bring children into this world to suffer/beg(almajiri style).

I must try my best to ensure my children ain't brought up in this country, if I can't afford it I will do my best to ensure they're born aboard, at least to secure dual citizenship..

everything for 9ja jus dey provoke person

SIRTee15:
Africans has a long way to go sha....
See what this one is discussing, an educated mind for that matter....
African youths will not talk of eradicating hunger or poverty in the continent....
They won't talk of creating wealth and adding value...
African young doctors won't talk of making STEM cell transplant easily accessible to millions of sickle cell patients on the continent....
It's all about getting married and having kids....
That's all they care about despite the investment in education....
Lord lugard was right after all- the African mind cares all about sex and procreation.....

Quorax:
I disagree. My half brother is a medical doctor in the US. He was over 40 before he married. He grew up there though.

The problem with you Nigerians is that you think marriage and kids are the ultimate. Check when Bill Gates got married, the age of his first child and his own age.

Bringing a child into this world to suffer is the last thing I will ever do in my life. Some persons got married and not all can even take good care of their children.

All those talking about when a child will graduate blah blah... That is not supposed to be your headache. Rather, your goal should be to build a legacy and a formidable personality in a child that will see him become more superior than his peers both psychologically and mentally. This will make them stand on their feet.

When I have my own kids, trust me, I will so build them in such a way that they will not depend on me financially for most of their needs after secondary school. They would have owned a couple of businesses before they finish university.

How is that possible? Their dad went through the school of hard knocks for that purpose!

truthsayer009:
Yes truth hurts & It's really painful.

You should be worried as well, don't you think? You think the problem of this economy will be suffered by one gender?

How will the guys who you claim are pained approach you to ask for your hand in marriage, If the population of Nigeria is 180M+ and 86.9 million Nigerians now living in extreme poverty represents nearly 50% of its estimated 180 million population.

Which means 7 out 10 guys that will approach you is broke. The remaining 3 is who you now have to struggle with other Women with.

How many male youths living in Western countries like Germany, Australia, Canada etc complain about brokeness? Their women cannot complain too, 9 out 10 guys who approach their Women are doing well because of their economy.

You should be really worried I tell you, It's not even a joking matter. Unless you want to marry a G+ boy or 6th wife like Regina Daniels then no p.

ednut1:
so is it their fault They are trying their possible best. But wen u look at what wedding entails these days no blame them

wonder233:
yen yen yen... Obsession with marriage is why we are still where we are in this part of the world.
You will hardly see articles about how young people can attain financial freedom or at least survive in the face of daunting and grim economic realities.
No! It's articles goading them into marriage and reproduction to swell the already bloated and unkempt population.
Sometimes I truly wonder if this part of the world isn't cursed afterall

Raalsalghul:
Your comment is highly sensed.
If you know how many times I've asked God why he gave me my dad.
All these get-married-early propaganda from folks, I pity them.
No try am oh if your background is humble.... .especially in a country like Nigeria where your hard work doesn't guaranteed success.

golddeejay:
All in I see in this article is a lot of 'in the box' thinking. Living life according to some archaic standard will only live you frustrated. The Op come across as the kind of parent that will advise his kids to "Go to school, get good grades, get a good job, marry early and retire at so or so year and let your children provide for you in your old age". No pun intended, you sound educated but with "rigid & programmed" thinking.

We live in a world with choices. Someone can decide not to get married or adopt a child/children or marry to same sex(where it is legal), work from home and other stuffs that are not according to your archaic programmed thinking.

You throw a lot of statistics to back up your points...like 1/400 baby dies at childbirth and so on. Again living your life on statistics will cripple you with fear, frustrations and the rest.

We are all different with different ideas and struggles
Making choices and planning your live or family is not always "one size fits all" or following the crowd.

I am not the one that rubbish other people's opinions but this is an offpoint.
BTW, I am married.

Raalsalghul:
...

Opiletool:
My kind of person. Same thing I told a colleague this past week. If you marry and have kids early, if at a long run you're still struggling to provide for them, the kids would at a time wish you never gave birth to them, or wish a rich person was their father. Which insult is worse than that?

Acidosis:
So what happens when you hustle till your late 40s and still can't boast of just N3m? Will that change your kids' perspectives about you?

A poor married man at 30 is better than a wretched single man at 50. Depression will kill the latter faster.

Acidosis:
So what happens when you hustle till your late 40s and still can't boast of just N3m? Will that change your kids' perspectives about you?

[s]A poor married man at 30 is better than a wretched single man at 50. Depression will kill the latter faster.[/s]

babyfaceafrica:
must one marry and give birth?

Hardrive:
Valid points. But the most important thing is for us to look for a solution to the prevailing socio-economic problem facing us as a nation before we start talking about settling down early. We have a long way to go.

tejaylo11:
This wan touch me

Besides late marriage for a man start from 40+
For a lady it starts from 36+

If you are a guy, if u marry between 30 - 39yrs you didn't marry late but pls don't give birth to more than 3 kids.

If you are a lady, if u marry between 28 - 36yrs, you didn't marry late, but don't give birth to more than 3 kids!

Marriage of today requires finance unlike in the days of our fathers.

Back in the days, you don't need a TV, a flat, a mobile phone, a freezer, a generator, a fridge, a washing machine, etc to get married but today, if u marry without the aforementioned things plus a satellite TV+ subscription, your so called wife may run leave you or cheat on u.

Back in the days, it doesn't cost to get married, u don't need pre wedding shoot, bridal shower, baby shower, this shower that shower, big wedding, etc. Weddings cost less in the time of our fathers.

A man today needs a stable income to settle down into marriage. At least in Nigeria, you need a steady income of at least 150,000naira to maintain a healthy, average family of 3 or 4, now tell me how many Nigerian guys of marriageable age (28 - 37yrs) earn 150,000naira monthly

With high rate of unemployment and inflation, earning money has become almost difficult for many youths in Nigeria. Most still squat with friends, relatives or living with parents because no job, no viable business and those that have job are earning peanut that cannot take care of them fully to talk of taking care of a woman and a child.

Nigeria's situation is getting worse by the day, reason every youth is doing all they can to migrate out of Nigeria, so don't blame youths of today, its not their fault, our fathers who are the leaders failed us woefully; we the youths ought to revolt and send them packing and round them all and kill them; starting from the President to the LGA Chairman

MoonWater:
This thread has really hit alot of nerves. See men puffing long posts in anger. Lol

Acidosis:
No if you have a better way to deal with loneliness and depression.

To stay married and be happy, you need money. Also, to stay single and happy, you still need money to buy sex, cook, gigolos, and loyal friends (poverty has no friends).
So the very thing you're running from would still come eventually.

Child raising btw is a choice in marriage. A couple can decide to adopt or enjoy their lives together with no interferences.

bukatyne:
It is the industrialization/information age that has made not relepenishing the old generation fine.

For people who say marriage kills dreams.... What can we say about Dangote, Otedola, Adenuga, Omotola, Dora, Okonjo-Iweala, Ezekwesili, etc. etc.

Early marriage even gives you more time to pursue your dreams. Marry early 20s, slowly build till your 30s and launch very deep in your 40s to 60s/70s.

You even have more time for your spouse when your kids are out of the home in your early/late 40s

bukatyne:
No money and the guy is planning bach eve?
Obvious lack of planning.

GasAndOilTheory:
Can you see a tipical woman? This was her quote on this thread a while back
Then she said this today on another thread
funny isn't it?

lefulefu:
so the father has no investiments.so they are now depending on the first son.na wa. anyway if u marry too early as a man and you have ambition of moving forward in ur life u can never move forward in ur life cos the wife and the kids will forever become a saddle in ur life.best time to marry as a man is wen ur finances can include other feeding mouth and ur job is very secured. u cant be thinking of marriage as a youngman wen the only way u earn money is playing betnaija or u teaching in private lessons.