Don't Become The Family ATM - Family - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Family › Don't Become The Family ATM (30447 Views)
| Don't Become The Family ATM by toluxa1(op): 8:45am On Apr 17, 2019 |
Don’t Become The Family ATM Helping people is good but make sure it is not at the expense of your immediate family & your future. "Black Tax" - The extra money that black professionals give every month to support their "less fortunate" friends & family. This causes many not to have savings as it impacts on the ability to be able to save and build generational wealth. Saving can be difficult in a country like Nigeria where some people almost abdicate their financial responsibilities to you if you allow them. The following should help: 1. Pay yourself first - Take care of your own immediate family needs. - Be number 1 on your priority list 2. Save - Make use of locked up savings that you can't touch. - Several apps exist now that can help you do this on your phone. 3. Set a black tax budget.......and stick to it!. - People find a way to move to other people when they can't get money from you. 4. Spend on necessities - You don't have to buy every "Aso Ebi" especially if you can't afford it 5. Learn to say "No!", particularly if you cannot afford it 6. Help others become rich - If you are the only rich man in your family, you are a poor man! - Don't just give them fish, teach the to fish. Source https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6523869306776879104 119 Likes 16 Shares |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by sethtsadopp: 8:59am On Apr 18, 2019 |
This is very true. Some family people will milk you dry and then taunt you when you go broke. 100 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by faithfull18(f): 9:28am On Apr 18, 2019 |
You are right. Most Nigerians have a way of using people, I don't just understand it. As soon as they are done with you, they move on to the next person. As long as you allow it, they are ready to leech and you aren't allowed to say 'no' because as soon as you do, you become a bad person, they don't mind telling others, they never remember the good you have done. 119 Likes 10 Shares |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by kemade14: 12:07pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
faithfull18: |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by NobleAngell(f): 1:54pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
This is very good advice O. I just recently discovered that you can never exhaust all your responsibilities. They keep growing and giving birth to more. The only option is to pick the ones within your capacity. Don't overwhelm yourself trying to be the hero of your family. 94 Likes 11 Shares |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by BruncleZuma: 1:54pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
Black Tax ...nah wah ooo 3 Likes |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by Teewhy2: 1:56pm On Apr 18, 2019*. Modified: 2:11pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
It is men that suffers this the most. na work one person fit do but when it is time to the spend the money from the work it becomes our money. 17 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by Gosj01(m): 1:57pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
Great stuff! I sell cheap, neat and clean laptops. Unbelievable deals in signature |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by infogenius(m): 1:57pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
toluxa1:Thanks better person 8 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by Pavore9: 1:58pm On Apr 18, 2019*. Modified: 2:15pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
Insightful. Family members give wide berth to those who stick to not being an ATM. Your income is primarily for your immediate family, be up to date with your health insurance, life assurance, investments etc whatever remains one can choose to extend to extended family members. Just this afternoon, I was thinking of a neighbour of ours back in the 90s who was like his extended family's "messiah", he was catering for his brothers' families as his 2 elder brothers had 15 children between them. By the time he got married in his early 40s, his finances were plummeting, health issues arose and died within 7 years of being married leaving the wife with 3 young children. From 3 bedroom flat apartment to one room, the wife had to start selling food at the bus stop, while her late husband's nephews and nieces who were by then earning comfortably were least bothered. 82 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by Robbin7(m): 1:58pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
Hmmmmm |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by Shegson12345(m): 1:58pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
ok |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by pansophist(m): 1:58pm On Apr 18, 2019*. Modified: 2:15pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
I was that guy, I used to always give anyone that ask money from me, I was that generous. Until it dawn on me that my discretionary act of kindness was seen as their right, and a medium to be exploited and ransacked, to a point where I was ridiculed for refusing to be used. Imagine hearing gossips by people you helped, calling you stupid and disclosing all the nice things you've done for them. That's humans for you. Right now, the only people I'll ever assist are my parents. That's all. Sometimes, the meanest people are the kindest, whom have been bitten and refuse to be a victim for their own sanity. 76 Likes 6 Shares |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by FruitCakes(f): 1:59pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
My uncle came back from abroad rich,, everyone surrounded him.
Now that he's broke they are nowhere to be found
That taught me a valid lesson 102 Likes 7 Shares |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by tstx(m): 1:59pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
I' don't think anyone can use me as an ATM... My father's experience taught me a hard lesson.... I build websites and I am based in Abuja, see my signature I build websites and I am based in Abuja, see my signature 10 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by BoboDodo: 1:59pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
That is my goal in life, exactly to become the family ATM. I would love to be able to help everybody as many times as I can. Nothing gives me more joy 39 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by NoHoper: 1:59pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
Story of my life. That's why I'm a no Nohoper. Everyone around me is my responsibility. I've given up 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by HEYWAYA: 2:00pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
In the part of Igboland where I come from, being the "family's ATM" is a time-tested way of lifting the whole family into wealth and prosperity. 19 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by DAramis: 2:01pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
Your opinion is really biased. It is good to help but must be at a limit. Most times, it is even better to empty your account if the case is extreme. Like my father once said, it makes no sense that you have money on your account while the family goes hungry. Some people will never bring out money to help someone but once such person dies, the will bring enough money for his or her burial. May God never allow us to have such people in our lives 23 Likes |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by Preetti(f): 2:01pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
I was the ATM now that there's no money they stopped calling 27 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by bettercreature(m): 2:02pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
sethtsadopp:And the worse is they wont remember you again the moment they found another way of getting money or simply remember the 2% bad things you did, not the 98% good things Its good to help but make sure you help with something that wont affect you 31 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by GavelSlam: 2:02pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
It's not easy. |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by magicminister: 2:02pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
If you’re the bread winner of your IMMEDIATE family then support them to be successful. 11 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by 15ssDRIVE(m): 2:03pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
sethtsadopp:Boss. If you are giving and your intentions are clean,without any pomposity or recounting. You go broke so they can see that the man lives in you. Once rich is always rich,the ideas are always there. Sooner you go bounce back and help them again from their bad situation. Baba said in his holy scriptures,I will take from those that don’t have and give to those that have. The best person to help with best blessings,na un-great full fellows. Based on this finding .we self dey ungrateful to the king provider,who provides for those that know him or not,those that appreciate him or not. Your make people smile,you go smile . 17 Likes |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by PotatoSalad(m): 2:04pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
Moral Lesson: "No do pass yourself" 9 Likes
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| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by Innoxxacs: 2:11pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
toluxa1:nice post modify here |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by Michelle55: 2:12pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
Valid points.. Thanks Op |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by seborrhic: 2:13pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
FruitCakes:It's the same people like you that would be saying that they are still coming to mock him. All over the world if you are well off,people will definitely flock around you and vice versa. Even right from the beginning of time,it's been like that.It will still be like that till the end of time. Just try to ensure the true friends outnumber the fair weather ones,to the best of your ability,and it's not that easy. 4 Likes |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by Jacktheripper: 2:13pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
Less comments on Nairaland threads these days. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by Badonasty(m): 2:15pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
toluxa1:what I'm going through right now |
| Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by babyboyMD(m): 2:20pm On Apr 18, 2019 |
To all the bread winners in the house ��... Don’t go and marry the first born with many irresponsible siblings. This is usually the end point. And if you don’t give them money, they may resort to harmful alternatives to gain from you. 17 Likes 1 Share |
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