True! But don't be stingy,

The point is that you shouldn't be taken for granted.

BoboDodo:
That is my goal in life, exactly to become the family ATM.
I would love to be able to help everybody as many times as I can. Nothing gives me more joy

any crime in helping them make it too Than them depending on u

seborrhic:

It's the same people like you that would be saying that they are still coming to mock him.
All over the world if you are well off,people will definitely flock around you and vice versa.
Even right from the beginning of time,it's been like that.It will still be like that till the end of time.
Just try to ensure the true friends outnumber the fair weather ones,to the best of your ability,and it's not that easy.

Why would you assume i'd say that?
I'm the one witnessing the whole thing so I know what I'm saying.
Anyway you've got a point

I hv many friends that hv worked for more than 9 years with nothing to show. Family bills. Some parents are useless and silly. U have 13 years to retirement u go and give birth expecting first born to cater. I had to break up with my ex. Her pman retired Aregbe then delays his benefits. Her twin sisters then got admission another one dey ss1 . Na my babe dey spons them. I just flee abeg. No time

Say NO to Liabilities

God Almighty will bring back your good days in multiple.

Preetti:
I was the ATM now that there's no money they stopped calling

This's so true. Infact I'm fed up. I've a brother who is always threatening suicide whenever I refused to give him money a 39years old brother. The last time he called me, he said this's going to be our last conversation, that he'll be gone in the next 2hrs..why? Because I asked him to account for the 120k I gave him some months ago.

He blackmail me all the time with suicide, he knows I care so much for the family, they think I've money.

Pavore9:
Insightful. Family members give wide berth to those who stick to not being an ATM. Your income is primarily for your immediate family, be up to date with your health insurance, life assurance, investments etc whatever remains one can choose to extend to extended family members.

Just this afternoon, I was thinking of a neighbour of ours back in the 90s who was like his extended family's "messiah", he was catering for his brothers' families as his 2 elder brothers had 15 children between them. By the time he got married in his early 40s, his finances were plummeting, health issues arose and died within 7 years of being married leaving the wife with 3 young children. From 3 bedroom flat apartment to one room, the wife had to start selling food at the bus stop, while her late husband's nephews and nieces who were by then earning comfortably were least bothered.

Nigerians are NOT good people

I keep saying it.

if you see the way we exploit and deal badly with each other, you will marvel

now see that innocent man's kids now suffering

number 6 six is the only point there with a lifetime benefit and guarantee

grafixdon:
This's so true. Infact I'm fed up. I've a brother who is always threatening suicide whenever I refused to give him money a 39years old brother. The last time he called me, he said this's going to be our last conversation, that he'll be gone in the next 2hrs..why? Because I asked him to account for the 120k I gave him some months ago.

He blackmail me all the time with suicide, he knows I care so much for the money, they think I've money.

let him do it na. After all we will still die

Jacktheripper:
Less comments on Nairaland threads these days.

Data don cost

65% of Africans living in Africa are jobless, so Why not help your relatives around you.

grafixdon:
This's so true. Infact I'm fed up. I've a brother who is always threatening suicide whenever I refused to give him money a 39years old brother. The last time he called me, he said this's going to be our last conversation, that he'll be gone in the next 2hrs..why? Because I asked him to account for the 120k I gave him some months ago.

He blackmail me all the time with suicide, he knows I care so much for the money, they think I've money.

Is there a way you can get to sit down with your brother in the presence of respectable family members and bring up the recurring threat of suicide. Once you make it clear to him in the presence of others that he cannot continue to blackmail you into being financially responsible for him, he would lose his hold over you.

Joromi12:
any crime in helping them make it too Than them depending on u

The truth is that, you can't help people to make it in life just like that. They themselves have to be determined to make it and stop depending on people financially.

Are you serious on this?

babyboyMD:
To all the bread winners in the house ��... Don’t go and marry the first born with many irresponsible siblings. This is usually the end point. And if you don’t give them money, they may resort to harmful alternatives to gain from you.

for me family comes first both immediate n extended, support those who needs help the most, especially the young ones and stay away from leeches n moreover leeches are easy to identify they only call when they need u n they don't give a Bleep how u living, they are never available to help in any little way (except when they need a thing or two from u) but they would be the first to criticise you behind your back n besides, u could still do all this and achieve your dreams it depends on how determined you are its not an excuse

I am a product of this idea

AmeLonRo:
Are you serious on this?

before u date a gal u wan marry look at her family first. If she is a first born with poor or retired parents abeg japa

People that don’t know God’s Grace are in constant denial and will always be stingy.

On the 1st Of January while everyone was celebrating New Years my laptop went dead I took it for repairs and basically I needed a new one it was a mac and I didn’t have enough for a new one and my job requires that I have one especially for my music. I didn’t sleep that night I prayed and also cried myself to sleep basically. Luckily for me my birthday was coming up and decided to ask every family member for a token towards replacing the Mac well in 48 hours I had enough money.

Even those I didn’t expect gave something for the first time and also those I thought were ride or die seemed to ignore my plight


I shared my story because everyone remembers when they gave but not when they received when you can receive you will learn to give. I don’t give more than I can afford to let go by the wayside.

Without our parents we won’t be here without our siblings we won’t be able to interact globally I have drained my account for family and will gladly do it again because when I asked they answered

The new album Karma Kafe is as a result of that seed

Ugosample:



Nigerians are NOT good people

I keep saying it.

if you see the way we exploit and deal badly with each other, you will marvel

now see that innocent man's kids now suffering

Men who still spend on their siblings and nephews/nieces, hoping they would cater for his children should he be no more are surely living in a fool's paradise.

Set up trust funds for your children, no matter how little, so that your children' education would not suffer in the event of the man's demise as am so tired of stories of " daddy died....dropped out of school...all those daddy helped ignored us"!

faithfull18:
You are right. Most Nigerians have a way of using people, I don't just understand it. As soon as they are done with you, they move on to the next person. As long as you allow it, they are ready to leech and you aren't allowed to say 'no' because as soon as you do, you become a bad person, they don't mind telling others, they never remember the good you have done.

So true.

I have been a victim many times.

grafixdon:
This's so true. Infact I'm fed up. I've a brother who is always threatening suicide whenever I refused to give him money a 39years old brother. The last time he called me, he said this's going to be our last conversation, that he'll be gone in the next 2hrs..why? Because I asked him to account for the 120k I gave him some months ago.

He blackmail me all the time with suicide, he knows I care so much for the family, they think I've money.

Haba! Dey there dey jones.........Give that your brother a rope to hang himself! See how quickly he would change......nonsense.
You are being weak and it will cost you plenty!

toluxa1:
​Don’t Become The Family ATM

Helping people is good but make sure it is not at the expense of your immediate family & your future.

"Black Tax" - The extra money that black professionals give every month to support their "less fortunate" friends & family.

This causes many not to have savings​ as it impacts ​on ​the ability to be able to save and build generational wealth.

Saving can be difficult in a country like Nigeria where some people almost abdicate their financial responsibilities to you if you allow them.

The following should help:

1. Pay yourself first
- ​T​ake care of your own immediate family needs.
-​ Be number 1 on your priority list
​
2. Save
- ​​Make use of locked up savings that you can't touch.
- Several apps exist now that can help you do this on your phone.

3. Set a black tax budget.......and stick to it!.
- People find a way to move to other people when they can't get money from you.

4​. Spend on necessities
​- You don't have to buy every "Aso Ebi" especially if you can't afford it

​​5​. Learn to say "No!"​, ​particularly if you cannot afford it

6​. Help others become rich
- If you are the only rich man in your family, you are a poor man!
- Don't just give them fish, teach the to fish.

Source
https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6523869306776879104

Hello, that 2b... Which app are you talking about that can help one save without touching it??

Thanks for this

toluxa1:
​Don’t Become The Family ATM

Helping people is good but make sure it is not at the expense of your immediate family & your future.

"Black Tax" - The extra money that black professionals give every month to support their "less fortunate" friends & family.

This causes many not to have savings​ as it impacts ​on ​the ability to be able to save and build generational wealth.

Saving can be difficult in a country like Nigeria where some people almost abdicate their financial responsibilities to you if you allow them.

The following should help:

1. Pay yourself first
- ​T​ake care of your own immediate family needs.
-​ Be number 1 on your priority list
​
2. Save
- ​​Make use of locked up savings that you can't touch.
- Several apps exist now that can help you do this on your phone.

3. Set a black tax budget.......and stick to it!.
- People find a way to move to other people when they can't get money from you.

4​. Spend on necessities
​- You don't have to buy every "Aso Ebi" especially if you can't afford it

​​5​. Learn to say "No!"​, ​particularly if you cannot afford it

6​. Help others become rich
- If you are the only rich man in your family, you are a poor man!
- Don't just give them fish, teach the to fish.

Source
https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6523869306776879104

This is what made me wrecked. And I need one of them help now and he told me point blankly that he can't do it.
And I am not asking for financial assistance O.

sevo:


Hello, that 2b... Which app are you talking about that can help one save without touching it??

piggybank, cowery or you open a savings acc, dont apply for atm. This one works well for me.

6​. Help others become rich
- If you are the only rich man in your family, you are a poor man!
- Don't just give them fish, teach the to fish.

QED

solasoulmusic:
People that don’t know God’s Grace are in constant denial and will always be stingy.

On the 1st Of January while everyone was celebrating New Years my laptop went dead I took it for repairs and basically I needed a new one it was a mac and I didn’t have enough for a new one and my job requires that I have one especially for my music. I didn’t sleep that night I prayed and also cried myself to sleep basically well I knew my birthday was coming up and decided to ask every family member for a token towards my birthday well in 48 hours I had enough. Even those I didn’t expect gave something and also those I thought were ride or die seemed to ignore my plight


I shared my story because everyone remembers when they gave but not when they received when you can receive you will learn to give. I don’t give more than I can afford to let go by the wayside.

Without our parents we won’t be here without our siblings we won’t be able to interact globally I have drained my account for family and will gladly do it again because when I asked they answered

The new album Karma Kafe is as a result of that seed

Okay stay in your lane. As for me 1kobo I no dey give any family member. Even my own wife has limit beyond which I tell her NO!
Her family don't even come near me!

chibuzorAbia:


Haba! Dey there dey jones.........Give that your brother a rope to hang himself! See how quickly he would change......nonsense.
You are being weak and it would cost you plenty!

Receive sense brother. Don't be too quick to call someone weak when you don't know the story. I have a aged mother. She has lost many of her children in the past (my siblings) I don't want to cause her more grief. That my brother can do it, he has drank bleach before and have attempted many suicides.

He's very handsome but find it difficult to steak with one woman, he doesn't have a good job, he stays in one room self contained. He's not doing well as such, sometimes he thinks the best is to end it.

NoHoper:
Story of my life. That's why I'm a no Nohoper. Everyone around me is my responsibility.

I've given up

You better develop savings and investment so that God willing the money won't run dry. If not, you may not even see anyone around you when money finishes. Mr responsibility

African parents giving birth to children and handing over responsibility to the elder children. Many Nigerian youths are starting life with 2+ people depending on them. If we talk about birth control now some people will start shouting "what about China", "its government fault"

yeah