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My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Ftheophilous(m): 3:15pm On May 24, 2019
Uhmmm....Okay...

What you are about to hear is from a front row seat first born. Yes I'm a first born in all ways describable as a first born and when I tell my siblings to sit, they dare not remain standing. This is not because I beat them or maltreat them, far from that. Let me explain what happened.

My siblings have not always been respectful to me while we were much younger, in fact, my mom will nag at me when I touch them. But what happened??
Let me tell you. An uncle came..This uncle flogs them anytime they talk back at me, doing this made them cultivate the habit of respect for me.

What I'm trying to butress here is that if your sibling did not respect you while you guys were younger, it will be harder when you guys are much older.

So respecting you has to be of her own accord, Thus you do things attributed to an elder.

Another reason could be that you guys have been far apart for too long, so, trying to take the mantle of authority and control her might not sit well with her.

What you should have done:

You should have tried to reinforce that bridge that had weaken in your relationship before you started imposing authority.


I can't really imagine my brother or my sister slapping me, their elder brother. If I was in your shoes, I would have done same. Since your parents know that she hit you back, and they went ahead to support her. It means this bro..trying to bend her is a lost cause, otherwise, you guys will keep on fighting.


My advice:

Since you are still in school, and you are still receiving allowances from your parents, Let her be. You are not responsible for her future, your parents are. If they can not shape her to be decent, you can't also. If you use force, you might break her (injure her), and that's bad.

Do this: Try to distance yourself from her a little, let her live her life, experience is not the best teacher, but trust me, it's the toughest. I'm quite convinced that she's seeing you as a nagger, someone frustrating her life and happiness. Let her make her mistake and let her learn. Protect only when the danger might be too much. trust me, she will come around. you guys can start as friends first before you start imposing authority as an elder sibling.

Thank you.

3 Likes

Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Nobody: 3:15pm On May 24, 2019
FindX:
You're also a failure that's why she is disrespecting you.

Now let the little girl be and put your miserable life in other first.
Second born spotted grin Abeg na joke I dey o cheesy
Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Mariangeles(f): 3:15pm On May 24, 2019
ThothHermes:
It's the only way. Which other way
If you believe money is the only way for people to respect, then get ready to toil till you're old and grey .

3 Likes

Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by God4memi: 3:17pm On May 24, 2019
Start making money for yourself and gain the respect both from her and your parent. Shikaina.

1 Like

Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Nobody: 3:18pm On May 24, 2019
firstbornson:
Haven't done this before, but I want to know your honest, experienced and well thought out opinions. I'm really depressed but I won't take Snipper (that devil is a liar). If you don't have anything serious and reasonable to say, please, just read comments (I know as e dey be for here, sometimes).

Its quite a long read. Apologies for any grammatical or typographical error encountered.

Here is my story.

My younger sister who is staying with me disrespects me alot, and she doesn't take my advice. My parents stay very far away and I feel responsible for her. It frustrates me whenever I tell her something and she will wait to do it at her own time or not do it at all. She even sometimes abuses me indirectly.

She is 19, came to stay with me last year November, for a Predegree program, after staying at home for two years without admission. After the first semester of her program, her result was released and it was very disappointing. She made 51% in only one course of four courses, while others are below that. To be honest, I felt I failed in my responsibilities of giving her the right counsel, motivating her, and all that. All she does is press her phone all night long, that's if she isn't watching a movie with her phone. She'll sleep and wake up the next morning by 8 or 9am.

Recently, there's this guy who happens to be my late landlord's first son in the compound where we stay that she has been spending too much time with in dark corners and I can tell in my gut that he's up to no good. He doesn't go to work, school, church, nowhere. He just seats at home all day, smoking weed and any other smokable substance he can lay his hands on. Sometimes, his friends come around and they smoke and play PES 2011 on a laptop. Lest I forget, he's also a cultist. He has tried on several occasions to make me a yahoo boy, but I had to consciously refuse.

My apologies for the long read.

About a week ago, this guy asked her to cook indomie for him, and she did, using our gas, without telling me. This got me really up set. I had to take several deep breaths. I calmed down and allowed her finish. After she was done, I asked her to seat down and we started talking. While we were talking, she started responding rudely to me.

This made me hit her for the first time in 19 years (I hate hitting them). To my utmost surprise, she hit me back. That singular act made her receive a very hard beating that she sustained lots of injuries. She immediately called home and my parents where now shouting at me on phone. My dad came the next day and said lots of things. My mom said lots of things on phone which just piss me off the more, called me all sought of names. Said I shouldn't allow the devil that is controlling take me close to my sister.

Right now, I hate all of them. My dad, mum, and sister. If I was financially buoyant enough, I would have moved out of this house. I feel really depressed, being having nightmares and I so much hate the fact that am still living here.

By the way, am male, 24, studying Biochemistry, should have finished my first degree last year but I'm having an extra year (3 spill over courses).

How do I move from here? Advice me.
Yuu carry a heavy burden of love, However, ur expression of this burden is hard, tough and intollerant. Think of things this way; Even as an elder Bro, Yuu got a spill, don't you think, that alone is a dent on your big brother ego? Yuu can't hate family, yeah? Yuu just maaaad, angry, and probably suffering from accumulated anger.
What to do: Be Patient, Younger ones who are sturbborn don't often come around easily, yet we cannot ignore them.
Give your Younger sis a lot of space, call your parents and apologise, infact apologise to your younger sis too.
Then ghost everybody, except for occasional hello's, don't bother yourself with the future. Keep working on ur self to achieve the purpose you have set out for yourself. time heals even the deepest wound. They will eventually come around.

1 Like

Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Nobody: 3:19pm On May 24, 2019
firstbornson:
Haven't done this before, but I want to know your honest, experienced and well thought out opinions. I'm really depressed but I won't take Snipper (that devil is a liar). If you don't have anything serious and reasonable to say, please, just read comments (I know as e dey be for here, sometimes).

Its quite a long read. Apologies for any grammatical or typographical error encountered.

Here is my story.

My younger sister who is staying with me disrespects me alot, and she doesn't take my advice. My parents stay very far away and I feel responsible for her. It frustrates me whenever I tell her something and she will wait to do it at her own time or not do it at all. She even sometimes abuses me indirectly.

She is 19, came to stay with me last year November, for a Predegree program, after staying at home for two years without admission. After the first semester of her program, her result was released and it was very disappointing. She made 51% in only one course of four courses, while others are below that. To be honest, I felt I failed in my responsibilities of giving her the right counsel, motivating her, and all that. All she does is press her phone all night long, that's if she isn't watching a movie with her phone. She'll sleep and wake up the next morning by 8 or 9am.

Recently, there's this guy who happens to be my late landlord's first son in the compound where we stay that she has been spending too much time with in dark corners and I can tell in my gut that he's up to no good. He doesn't go to work, school, church, nowhere. He just seats at home all day, smoking weed and any other smokable substance he can lay his hands on. Sometimes, his friends come around and they smoke and play PES 2011 on a laptop. Lest I forget, he's also a cultist. He has tried on several occasions to make me a yahoo boy, but I had to consciously refuse.

My apologies for the long read.

About a week ago, this guy asked her to cook indomie for him, and she did, using our gas, without telling me. This got me really up set. I had to take several deep breaths. I calmed down and allowed her finish. After she was done, I asked her to seat down and we started talking. While we were talking, she started responding rudely to me.

This made me hit her for the first time in 19 years (I hate hitting them). To my utmost surprise, she hit me back. That singular act made her receive a very hard beating that she sustained lots of injuries. She immediately called home and my parents where now shouting at me on phone. My dad came the next day and said lots of things. My mom said lots of things on phone which just piss me off the more, called me all sought of names. Said I shouldn't allow the devil that is controlling take me close to my sister.

Right now, I hate all of them. My dad, mum, and sister. If I was financially buoyant enough, I would have moved out of this house. I feel really depressed, being having nightmares and I so much hate the fact that am still living here.

By the way, am male, 24, studying Biochemistry, should have finished my first degree last year but I'm having an extra year (3 spill over courses).

How do I move from here? Advice me.

The old first born/ second born rivalry. Even the Bible says second borns are natural adversaries.

But I can sense you want the best for your sister. Hope the bad boyz don't overspoil her. Be cool. Use your head. Not easy but might be the best response rather than injure her.

Don't let the medicine be worse than the sickness.
Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Nobody: 3:22pm On May 24, 2019
as a first born family expects you to bend over? well i dont know if you're the sponsoring yourself or its your parents, you will need to assert yourself and put a distance between your and your family cos in my assessment the relationship between you your parents and your baby sister is toxic.

3 Likes

Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by loomer: 3:23pm On May 24, 2019
You no go drive am from your house?

1 Like

Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Oju4190: 3:23pm On May 24, 2019
See am....u nor even know book,how ur sister nor go disrespect u..,..Rubbish
Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by maxilly(m): 3:24pm On May 24, 2019
FindX:
You're also a failure that's why she is disrespecting you.

Now let the little girl be and put your miserable life in other first.
If only you would have the guts to tell him to his face that he's a failure. U just carry fone dey comment on somebody life like that. Keyboard warrior

3 Likes

Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Stillthebest: 3:25pm On May 24, 2019
Op, first don't commit suicide lol... I know you won't....see, if you think yours is big you need to see other family affairs. A worst case happened to me recently( a lil similar to yours)

Bible says respect your parents but don't be fooled by that statement to accept what you will regret later. The way your parents treat you now might be how they will treat you forever if you don't maintain a stand..so while maintaining your stand try and respect them.
Has it occurred to you that parents always mind their language to a tough child and they tend to love the child more even when they are not aware of it?

This is what you should do, let the child leave or you leave her and let it be known to your parents while you won't live with her

If the girl needs your help in distance do it if you have it.

And, also reduce your rapport with her and your parents but make sure you still respect your parents...and help them accordingly when you have it.

Some parents are always like yours especially if they are not educated.

You still are going to face a lot of challenges that will test your stand in the family later in the future. For now begin to man up. Your parents acted on your weakness which has been known incontiously by them over the years.

As for your sister, distance and authority are all you need. She doesn't respect you yet. Hey don't think of you have money she will it is a fallacy. Respects are earned. Your tough stand but with modesty and civility coupled wit personality will earn you that.

2 Likes

Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Iyajelili(f): 3:25pm On May 24, 2019
firstbornson:
Haven't done this before, but I want to know your honest, experienced and well thought out opinions. I'm really depressed but I won't take Snipper (that devil is a liar). If you don't have anything serious and reasonable to say, please, just read comments (I know as e dey be for here, sometimes).

Its quite a long read. Apologies for any grammatical or typographical error encountered.

Here is my story.

My younger sister who is staying with me disrespects me alot, and she doesn't take my advice. My parents stay very far away and I feel responsible for her. It frustrates me whenever I tell her something and she will wait to do it at her own time or not do it at all. She even sometimes abuses me indirectly.

She is 19, came to stay with me last year November, for a Predegree program, after staying at home for two years without admission. After the first semester of her program, her result was released and it was very disappointing. She made 51% in only one course of four courses, while others are below that. To be honest, I felt I failed in my responsibilities of giving her the right counsel, motivating her, and all that. All she does is press her phone all night long, that's if she isn't watching a movie with her phone. She'll sleep and wake up the next morning by 8 or 9am.

Recently, there's this guy who happens to be my late landlord's first son in the compound where we stay that she has been spending too much time with in dark corners and I can tell in my gut that he's up to no good. He doesn't go to work, school, church, nowhere. He just seats at home all day, smoking weed and any other smokable substance he can lay his hands on. Sometimes, his friends come around and they smoke and play PES 2011 on a laptop. Lest I forget, he's also a cultist. He has tried on several occasions to make me a yahoo boy, but I had to consciously refuse.

My apologies for the long read.

About a week ago, this guy asked her to cook indomie for him, and she did, using our gas, without telling me. This got me really up set. I had to take several deep breaths. I calmed down and allowed her finish. After she was done, I asked her to seat down and we started talking. While we were talking, she started responding rudely to me.

This made me hit her for the first time in 19 years (I hate hitting them). To my utmost surprise, she hit me back. That singular act made her receive a very hard beating that she sustained lots of injuries. She immediately called home and my parents where now shouting at me on phone. My dad came the next day and said lots of things. My mom said lots of things on phone which just piss me off the more, called me all sought of names. Said I shouldn't allow the devil that is controlling take me close to my sister.

Right now, I hate all of them. My dad, mum, and sister. If I was financially buoyant enough, I would have moved out of this house. I feel really depressed, being having nightmares and I so much hate the fact that am still living here.

By the way, am male, 24, studying Biochemistry, should have finished my first degree last year but I'm having an extra year (3 spill over courses).

How do I move from here? Advice me.
OP, listen very carefully and try to implement this. Let your sister make her mistakes and face the consequences of her actions. You are tied together by blood and not a must for you to make her "successful". Truth is many people out there will gladly exchange you for their siblings who will care this much about them, if you don't give her space and allow her make mistakes she will resent you for a very long time.
Cohabit with her like she's a stranger for the sake of your sanity and peace.
Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by ajayiopy: 3:25pm On May 24, 2019
firstbornson:
Haven't done this before, but I want to know your honest, experienced and well thought out opinions. I'm really depressed but I won't take Snipper (that devil is a liar). If you don't have anything serious and reasonable to say, please, just read comments (I know as e dey be for here, sometimes).

Its quite a long read. Apologies for any grammatical or typographical error encountered.

Here is my story.

My younger sister who is staying with me disrespects me alot, and she doesn't take my advice. My parents stay very far away and I feel responsible for her. It frustrates me whenever I tell her something and she will wait to do it at her own time or not do it at all. She even sometimes abuses me indirectly.

She is 19, came to stay with me last year November, for a Predegree program, after staying at home for two years without admission. After the first semester of her program, her result was released and it was very disappointing. She made 51% in only one course of four courses, while others are below that. To be honest, I felt I failed in my responsibilities of giving her the right counsel, motivating her, and all that. All she does is press her phone all night long, that's if she isn't watching a movie with her phone. She'll sleep and wake up the next morning by 8 or 9am.

Recently, there's this guy who happens to be my late landlord's first son in the compound where we stay that she has been spending too much time with in dark corners and I can tell in my gut that he's up to no good. He doesn't go to work, school, church, nowhere. He just seats at home all day, smoking weed and any other smokable substance he can lay his hands on. Sometimes, his friends come around and they smoke and play PES 2011 on a laptop. Lest I forget, he's also a cultist. He has tried on several occasions to make me a yahoo boy, but I had to consciously refuse.

My apologies for the long read.

About a week ago, this guy asked her to cook indomie for him, and she did, using our gas, without telling me. This got me really up set. I had to take several deep breaths. I calmed down and allowed her finish. After she was done, I asked her to seat down and we started talking. While we were talking, she started responding rudely to me.

This made me hit her for the first time in 19 years (I hate hitting them). To my utmost surprise, she hit me back. That singular act made her receive a very hard beating that she sustained lots of injuries. She immediately called home and my parents where now shouting at me on phone. My dad came the next day and said lots of things. My mom said lots of things on phone which just piss me off the more, called me all sought of names. Said I shouldn't allow the devil that is controlling take me close to my sister.

Right now, I hate all of them. My dad, mum, and sister. If I was financially buoyant enough, I would have moved out of this house. I feel really depressed, being having nightmares and I so much hate the fact that am still living here.

By the way, am male, 24, studying Biochemistry, should have finished my first degree last year but I'm having an extra year (3 spill over courses).

How do I move from here? Advice me.
IN THIS 21-CENTURY
Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by ThothHermes: 3:26pm On May 24, 2019
Mariangeles:
If you believe money is the only way for people to respect, then get ready to toil till you're old and grey .
Tell me another way now
Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by annyberry: 3:28pm On May 24, 2019
For all I care ur parents are d main problem here, who gives d younger one power ova d seniors... After ur parent it is u in times of authority......... I am also a first child I dnt give my younger ones dat chance so as my parents, just ignore her na only she go reset hersef my brother was on dis table bfor no b person tell am.

4 Likes

Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Nobody: 3:29pm On May 24, 2019
firstbornson:


Thank you. My birthday is 6 June while hers is 3 May.
The one and only solution to this before she brings disgrace you and your family that's supporting her is to send her back home. Because when the ganja smoking criminal eventually impregnate her, you will still be eventually blamed for self inflicted predicament. SEND HER PACKING.

1 Like

Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Sassilicious(f): 3:30pm On May 24, 2019
I'm Taurus as well.and everything you have said is spot on.
castro316:


Ok. You sister needs someone who can pet her crack jokes with her and as a brother you must provide security for her. Hmmm your sister must be a stubborn one o. Very subborn and she will not yield to you if you are aggressive towards her. She is the stay at home kind of girl but it seems you are not making her comfortable that's why she goes outside. Sorry though their type have more of guys as friends so don't sweat it that she moves with guys. Its probable that she bullies but once you pet her you will see her feminine side. Like I said, do what I said in my previous post the once you win her care for her. You can't boss a natural boss make her your friend instead
Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Zombicmodz: 3:35pm On May 24, 2019
Nigerian parents of a certain generation are sick by default.
Most don't even know they're the worst parents in the world.

4 Likes

Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Aarenasbaba(m): 3:37pm On May 24, 2019
firstbornson:
Haven't done this before, but I want to know your honest, experienced and well thought out opinions. I'm really depressed but I won't take Snipper (that devil is a liar). If you don't have anything serious and reasonable to say, please, just read comments (I know as e dey be for here, sometimes).

Its quite a long read. Apologies for any grammatical or typographical error encountered.

Here is my story.
Handling siblings either young or elder is not easy, but I think your dad should have understood you more than ur mum... Don't relent in ur own responsibility

My younger sister who is staying with me disrespects me alot, and she doesn't take my advice. My parents stay very far away and I feel responsible for her. It frustrates me whenever I tell her something and she will wait to do it at her own time or not do it at all. She even sometimes abuses me indirectly.

She is 19, came to stay with me last year November, for a Predegree program, after staying at home for two years without admission. After the first semester of her program, her result was released and it was very disappointing. She made 51% in only one course of four courses, while others are below that. To be honest, I felt I failed in my responsibilities of giving her the right counsel, motivating her, and all that. All she does is press her phone all night long, that's if she isn't watching a movie with her phone. She'll sleep and wake up the next morning by 8 or 9am.

Recently, there's this guy who happens to be my late landlord's first son in the compound where we stay that she has been spending too much time with in dark corners and I can tell in my gut that he's up to no good. He doesn't go to work, school, church, nowhere. He just seats at home all day, smoking weed and any other smokable substance he can lay his hands on. Sometimes, his friends come around and they smoke and play PES 2011 on a laptop. Lest I forget, he's also a cultist. He has tried on several occasions to make me a yahoo boy, but I had to consciously refuse.

My apologies for the long read.

About a week ago, this guy asked her to cook indomie for him, and she did, using our gas, without telling me. This got me really up set. I had to take several deep breaths. I calmed down and allowed her finish. After she was done, I asked her to seat down and we started talking. While we were talking, she started responding rudely to me.

This made me hit her for the first time in 19 years (I hate hitting them). To my utmost surprise, she hit me back. That singular act made her receive a very hard beating that she sustained lots of injuries. She immediately called home and my parents where now shouting at me on phone. My dad came the next day and said lots of things. My mom said lots of things on phone which just piss me off the more, called me all sought of names. Said I shouldn't allow the devil that is controlling take me close to my sister.

Right now, I hate all of them. My dad, mum, and sister. If I was financially buoyant enough, I would have moved out of this house. I feel really depressed, being having nightmares and I so much hate the fact that am still living here.

By the way, am male, 24, studying Biochemistry, should have finished my first degree last year but I'm having an extra year (3 spill over courses).

How do I move from here? Advice me.
Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Kokaine(m): 3:38pm On May 24, 2019
Sellfish:
Be happy at least that she is alive and well enough to be troublesome grin



We don't know what we have until we lose it...

As an only child, I envy people when they complain about how troublesome their siblings are....

I wish i had troublesome siblings who will steal from me, make me very angry sometimes...

Why do you think couples who have no kids find it so depressing.... The sound of kids jumping up and down everywhere in the house, breaking stuff, screaming and playing, and being all the adorable nuisances that kids generally are, is such a joy to a parent... A parent will always complain about how stubborn their kids are... But they get depressed once the kids go on holiday and the house is as silent as a cemetary grin

It is usually when troublesome people die that we actually get to realize that their troublesome nature isn't the worst thing that can happen... That their trouble was part of what actually gave meaning to our own lives cry


I am sure your sister does not mean any harm... Calm down and be the persevering elder Bro that you are... If you can't put up with her youthful excesses, who will...


as you rightly put it, we don't value what we have until we loose it. There is something called sibling rivalry. Look it up. Not all siblings could ever be friends. Some siblings became the cause of suicides of individuals. Its easy to sit down in the comfort of your palour and dream up a perfect relationship with your sibling based on your mature outlook to life now. But remember that those in these rivalry never actually planned it out that way. Competition, comparisons, individual differences, sizes, oppression, and all take place among families. It could take away the view to life you presently have. Even in the western world where poverty is not the problem, rivalry exists among siblings. Its a topic quite bigger than can be said away in these few lines.

5 Likes

Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by grandstar(m): 3:38pm On May 24, 2019
firstbornson:
Haven't done this before, but I want to know your honest, experienced and well thought out opinions. I'm really depressed but I won't take Snipper (that devil is a liar). If you don't have anything serious and reasonable to say, please, just read comments (I know as e dey be for here, sometimes).

Its quite a long read. Apologies for any grammatical or typographical error encountered.

Here is my story.

My younger sister who is staying with me disrespects me alot, and she doesn't take my advice. My parents stay very far away and I feel responsible for her. It frustrates me whenever I tell her something and she will wait to do it at her own time or not do it at all. She even sometimes abuses me indirectly.

She is 19, came to stay with me last year November, for a Predegree program, after staying at home for two years without admission. After the first semester of her program, her result was released and it was very disappointing. She made 51% in only one course of four courses, while others are below that. To be honest, I felt I failed in my responsibilities of giving her the right counsel, motivating her, and all that. All she does is press her phone all night long, that's if she isn't watching a movie with her phone. She'll sleep and wake up the next morning by 8 or 9am.

Recently, there's this guy who happens to be my late landlord's first son in the compound where we stay that she has been spending too much time with in dark corners and I can tell in my gut that he's up to no good. He doesn't go to work, school, church, nowhere. He just seats at home all day, smoking weed and any other smokable substance he can lay his hands on. Sometimes, his friends come around and they smoke and play PES 2011 on a laptop. Lest I forget, he's also a cultist. He has tried on several occasions to make me a yahoo boy, but I had to consciously refuse.

My apologies for the long read.

About a week ago, this guy asked her to cook indomie for him, and she did, using our gas, without telling me. This got me really up set. I had to take several deep breaths. I calmed down and allowed her finish. After she was done, I asked her to seat down and we started talking. While we were talking, she started responding rudely to me.

This made me hit her for the first time in 19 years (I hate hitting them). To my utmost surprise, she hit me back. That singular act made her receive a very hard beating that she sustained lots of injuries. She immediately called home and my parents where now shouting at me on phone. My dad came the next day and said lots of things. My mom said lots of things on phone which just piss me off the more, called me all sought of names. Said I shouldn't allow the devil that is controlling take me close to my sister.

Right now, I hate all of them. My dad, mum, and sister. If I was financially buoyant enough, I would have moved out of this house. I feel really depressed, being having nightmares and I so much hate the fact that am still living here.

By the way, am male, 24, studying Biochemistry, should have finished my first degree last year but I'm having an extra year (3 spill over courses).

How do I move from here? Advice me.

Your sister is still young and naive. She's also going through the bloom of youth. A point will come when she'll realise you were right.

You need to be patient with her. You now have a clue to what it means handling a teenager, especially a girl.

If she's doing poorly academically, let her learn a trade. This is temporary until whenever she gains admission.
Learning a trade will also keep her busy

The best you can do is to direct your sister, you can't live her life for her. You need her to get the sense of what you are saying.

Don't also treat her like a child. That would just make her the more rebellious. You can apply some wisdom instead.

For instance, if she's in the habit of coming home late, you too come home late deliberately. If you do this repeatedly, one day she may challenge you for coming home late. You tell her to mind her business

Bring a "useless girl" home for instance (all scrpted). Let the girl behave razz in front of her. If the girl keeps coming, one day your sister will advise you to dump the razz girl. You can tell her to mind her business that she doesn't like you pokenosing into her love life.

But later, but soon afterwards, dump the girl. Inform your sister that you've dumped the girl. That you've taken her advice. And thank her and don't go further than that. Don't tell her to drop the guy.

That will whip up some guilt in her. She'll most likely dump the guy afterwards.

At her age she wants to explore and go wild. She's been in a cocoon and now wants to "taste life". She wants her freedom and you're about to ruin it. It ain't happening.

The best way of handling her is ignore ignore ignore and treat her nicely. The more you pay her attention, the more rebellious and independence she'll want. She wants her space and will take you down to get it. That's why she slapped you. The rebellious spirit is in charge. She actually needs you to be antagonistic so she won't feel guilty when she rebels.

It's like when someone slaps you and you work away. By not reacting to the slap, the assailant is left powerless. You've deprived him of a fight as that's what he really craves.

By maturely ignoring her and giving her the freedom she wants, the less she'll actually crave it. By treating her kindly, you'll gain her respect. You'll become a confidant.

Youths aren't stupid. She knows the life she wants to live is wrong but wants it anyway. By you earning her respect, she would be forced to temper things

2 Likes

Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Joystark(f): 3:39pm On May 24, 2019
MrBrownJay1:


You have to assert your authority, and stop having the person walk all over you like that.
Start by making serious threats to have her being shipped back to your parents, and if she doesn't change, stick to your words and send her back there.



Some people are not good school wise, and that's ok.... Ask her what she wants to do, and see if you can find a course/classes where she will enjoy her passion fully. At 19, she may be lost as to where she could be heading from there, and having her mind focused on something is important.



Come on...your sista must be up to no good with them.... At least smoking, which is probably why she has an attitude. Being a pothead does that to you, especially if some fool is making her feel bigger/funkier than she actually is. Throwing her out of your house would have her go shack with this demon child.



The direct outcome of weed+having some dude make her feeling herself...



Well done!!!!!



Be strong on this issue and tell your parents that YOU should raise/help that child the best YOU see fit, and if they don't like it then they should take her back home and care for her their damn self (politely though)



So who pays for rent? Or is it your parents house? Then I suggest you keep quiet and let that demon child (sister) do what she pleases and clean your mouth from her biz....



Be patient...stick to your plan and finish your education 1st, then get a decent job to help you move out of there and live your own life. Take your time as rushing won't help in this matter.


lol@'Demon Child'.... hahahah
Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by AmNuhRegular(m): 3:41pm On May 24, 2019
Lol. Welcome to my world.
My own is even worse because she's the last born. Even when they are sharing food. It's either hers is more than mine or it's the same. Person that I senior with 4 years wey big undecided
After trying countless times to fix it, I've decided to just let it go. Her respect won't put food on my table anyways

Although with three spill over courses you're not much of a good example yourself

1 Like

Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by dinocy(m): 3:45pm On May 24, 2019
kabvic:
I'm a firstborn too. Handling younger siblings can be difficult.

FTC
I am a first born too but my dear, it’s frustrating, they use your stuff without tellig and to make things worse, mine all all boys. They talk to you like we mates and even wait for you to talk to them first the next morning. I just ignore and bear because i know i am the first for a reason. God help us all.

4 Likes

Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Evangkatsoulis: 3:45pm On May 24, 2019
firstbornson:
Haven't done this before, but I want to know your honest, experienced and well thought out opinions. I'm really depressed but I won't take Snipper (that devil is a liar). If you don't have anything serious and reasonable to say, please, just read comments (I know as e dey be for here, sometimes).

Its quite a long read. Apologies for any grammatical or typographical error encountered.

Here is my story.

My younger sister who is staying with me disrespects me alot, and she doesn't take my advice. My parents stay very far away and I feel responsible for her. It frustrates me whenever I tell her something and she will wait to do it at her own time or not do it at all. She even sometimes abuses me indirectly.

She is 19, came to stay with me last year November, for a Predegree program, after staying at home for two years without admission. After the first semester of her program, her result was released and it was very disappointing. She made 51% in only one course of four courses, while others are below that. To be honest, I felt I failed in my responsibilities of giving her the right counsel, motivating her, and all that. All she does is press her phone all night long, that's if she isn't watching a movie with her phone. She'll sleep and wake up the next morning by 8 or 9am.

Recently, there's this guy who happens to be my late landlord's first son in the compound where we stay that she has been spending too much time with in dark corners and I can tell in my gut that he's up to no good. He doesn't go to work, school, church, nowhere. He just seats at home all day, smoking weed and any other smokable substance he can lay his hands on. Sometimes, his friends come around and they smoke and play PES 2011 on a laptop. Lest I forget, he's also a cultist. He has tried on several occasions to make me a yahoo boy, but I had to consciously refuse.

My apologies for the long read.

About a week ago, this guy asked her to cook indomie for him, and she did, using our gas, without telling me. This got me really up set. I had to take several deep breaths. I calmed down and allowed her finish. After she was done, I asked her to seat down and we started talking. While we were talking, she started responding rudely to me.

This made me hit her for the first time in 19 years (I hate hitting them). To my utmost surprise, she hit me back. That singular act made her receive a very hard beating that she sustained lots of injuries. She immediately called home and my parents where now shouting at me on phone. My dad came the next day and said lots of things. My mom said lots of things on phone which just piss me off the more, called me all sought of names. Said I shouldn't allow the devil that is controlling take me close to my sister.

Right now, I hate all of them. My dad, mum, and sister. If I was financially buoyant enough, I would have moved out of this house. I feel really depressed, being having nightmares and I so much hate the fact that am still living here.

By the way, am male, 24, studying Biochemistry, should have finished my first degree last year but I'm having an extra year (3 spill over courses).

How do I move from here? Advice me.

FALSE STORY.
Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by madgoat(m): 3:49pm On May 24, 2019
FindX:
You're also a failure that's why she is disrespecting you.

Now let the little girl be and put your miserable life in other first.

With the way you are on the first page of this thread shows you spend your days on NL jobless. Isn't this a clear sign you are a failure in life?

1 Like

Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Davidtolu1: 3:49pm On May 24, 2019
She above 18 and she will eventually get married ..so you don’t have to be depressed....it’s just preparing you for the future on how to handle such situations....
I won’t say you should ignore her ....but act like you are not seeing what she is doing .. she will eventually know right from wrong later on ....just pray for her advice her once in a while if she cares to listen ....but just always pray for her ....don’t hate ....and have it in mind that All is Well ...����������
Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Excuzeme: 3:50pm On May 24, 2019
tgmservice:


give her hot sex she will respect you forever

The girl is his[b] BLOOD Sister[/b] or are youout of your freaking mind? angry angry

#Oloshi.Oloriburuku

1 Like

Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by IamPlato(m): 3:53pm On May 24, 2019
firstbornson:


Thank you. My birthday is 6 June while hers is 3 May.
I Wish I Saw This Earlier... Stop Trying To Change Sturbborn Girls allow Them Learn From Experience. My Younger Sister Is Worse Than Your Sister, presently She Is Out Of The House Since 3months Ago, sleeping With Yahoo Boys And Smoking, she Has Never Communicated Us only Chat With Her Friends but Will Never Give Out Her Location... Presently I Dont Care She Can Go And Die. Thank God My Mother Is No Longer Bothered As Before every Body Is Tired Of Her... Just Ignore Her abeg, let Her Live The Life
Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by luminouz(m): 3:55pm On May 24, 2019
firstbornson:
Haven't done this before, but I want to know your honest, experienced and well thought out opinions. I'm really depressed but I won't take Snipper (that devil is a liar). If you don't have anything serious and reasonable to say, please, just read comments (I know as e dey be for here, sometimes).

Its quite a long read. Apologies for any grammatical or typographical error encountered.

Here is my story.

My younger sister who is staying with me disrespects me alot, and she doesn't take my advice. My parents stay very far away and I feel responsible for her. It frustrates me whenever I tell her something and she will wait to do it at her own time or not do it at all. She even sometimes abuses me indirectly.

She is 19, came to stay with me last year November, for a Predegree program, after staying at home for two years without admission. After the first semester of her program, her result was released and it was very disappointing. She made 51% in only one course of four courses, while others are below that. To be honest, I felt I failed in my responsibilities of giving her the right counsel, motivating her, and all that. All she does is press her phone all night long, that's if she isn't watching a movie with her phone. She'll sleep and wake up the next morning by 8 or 9am.

Recently, there's this guy who happens to be my late landlord's first son in the compound where we stay that she has been spending too much time with in dark corners and I can tell in my gut that he's up to no good. He doesn't go to work, school, church, nowhere. He just seats at home all day, smoking weed and any other smokable substance he can lay his hands on. Sometimes, his friends come around and they smoke and play PES 2011 on a laptop. Lest I forget, he's also a cultist. He has tried on several occasions to make me a yahoo boy, but I had to consciously refuse.

My apologies for the long read.

About a week ago, this guy asked her to cook indomie for him, and she did, using our gas, without telling me. This got me really up set. I had to take several deep breaths. I calmed down and allowed her finish. After she was done, I asked her to seat down and we started talking. While we were talking, she started responding rudely to me.

This made me hit her for the first time in 19 years (I hate hitting them). To my utmost surprise, she hit me back. That singular act made her receive a very hard beating that she sustained lots of injuries. She immediately called home and my parents where now shouting at me on phone. My dad came the next day and said lots of things. My mom said lots of things on phone which just piss me off the more, called me all sought of names. Said I shouldn't allow the devil that is controlling take me close to my sister.

Right now, I hate all of them. My dad, mum, and sister. If I was financially buoyant enough, I would have moved out of this house. I feel really depressed, being having nightmares and I so much hate the fact that am still living here.

By the way, am male, 24, studying Biochemistry, should have finished my first degree last year but I'm having an extra year (3 spill over courses).

How do I move from here? Advice me.

Jesus!!!!
Haddon,ubunja,lefulefu...and the rest,please advise this guy...
I'm done talking!!!

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by luminouz(m): 3:57pm On May 24, 2019
Preshy561:
So sad.
I really hate disrespectful siblings.

Our last born is stubborn but I can't beat her cos she's stronger than me. cry
All I do is to avoid arguments with her or threaten not to give her any of my belongings or give her money.

The truth is that, she'd start respecting you when she sees you can now Carter for yourself and for anybody. Same thing with your parents scolding you.

Relax and make money, and all these nonsense will stop.
If she chooses to date the useless landlord's son, then leave her, all the regret will be bore by her alone. Just do your best.

But why are some landlord's first sons almost very useless? undecided undecided
No wonder u dey abuse me since....common younger sister u can't beat...lazy geh tongue
Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by RTSC: 3:58pm On May 24, 2019
Female siblings are like that.

You can't control them and as a guy you can't ignore them to their whims and caprices because you don't want her to be taken advantage of .

My younger sister is 21, and was telling me she can go and come anytime she wants.

I just didn't know what to say at that moment.

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