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Courtship Checklist - Romance - Nairaland

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Courtship Checklist by anointedlinks: 8:54pm On Jan 27, 2019
THINGS TO TALK ABOUT IN COURTSHIP (2nd Timothy 2:16)

The time of courtship is not the time for feeling of pecking and kissing. it is a serious matter. it is a time to talk and get it straight away. it is expected of your courtship to prepare you for marriage, but, nowadays, reverse is the case, the activities in courtship can never secure happy marriage life.There are lot of things to know and understand, and how can you know and understand if you don't talk.


Different Pictures of Courtships

1. Mute courtships: These are the set of people that don't talk freely in there courtship, whereby, fiancé is acting in a strange manner to his fiancée and vice versa. It is not that they are deaf dump but they are not close in heart. The major cause of this is ignorance. Sometimes, Christian brothers and sisters practice this kind of courtship in the name of spirituality. Also, some people will not want to offend their partners may be because of position, age difference or wealth, and as a result of that they will be mute throughout their courtship life.


2. Talkative courtships: These are the set of people that talk in their courtship but without sense. They never talk right things. They are inclined in excessive talking, that is, always ready to talk even at length but you cannot hold any point. They talk freely about unimportant things in a friendly way. This kind of courtship is usually full of gossip and malice.


3. Flippant courtships: These are the set of people that joke too much in their courtship. They take things for granted and turn everything to child play. They are never serious with each other. Serious matters are not common in their discussion. They thought inappropriately and laugh on things that doesn't worth it. They are too playful, frolicsome, perky, lighthearted, giddy, frivolous and silly in nature. Their talks lack intellectual substance and things not worth serious consideration. Full of trivial discussions.

4. Flamboyant courtships: These are the set of people that believe everything is fun. They never talk to plan, they talk to spend. Too extravagant. They are full of eatry, clubbing, film house etc. They can never sit down at the round table to talk about progress in their courtship, but the next party to attend.


5. Constructive courtship: These are the set of people that construct their marital future with the content of their discussions. They are full of talks that are carefully considered and meant to be helpful to their marriage in the nearest future. Their talks, jokes, and fun are building them up for glorious marriage. They are polite and moderate in every sense of life.

Well-mannered, socially superior to ordinary people and considered refined or cultured. They talk with grace, courtesy, love and have respect for each other. Maturity is written all over them.


Keys that can help you to talk constructively;

1. Interview: Always try to ask questions and make enquiry of what that looks ambiguous to you


2. Assessment: Always look back and see if what you have discussed is able to give you glorious home.

Have you dealt with all issues that ought to be dealt with? Never go into the marriage if you are not sure.


Have you talked about?:

1. Background


2. Do's and don'ts


3. Weaknesses: E.g. Snoring, eating habit e.t.c


4. Formal education: To what level?


5. Verbal skills: How does he/she talk?


6. Expected roles of both individuals in the marriage: His roles as husband and father and her roles as wife and mother of your children.


7. Love and respect: To what extent does she respect or submit to you as her husband, and to what extent does he loves you as his wife?


8. Number of children


9. Type of family planning


10. Gap between children


11. Child rearing view


12. Mental, social, psychological, spiritual, philosophy of life.


13. Ways of dealing with issues.


14. Talk about smoking, drinking, alcohol and coming home late


15. Night journey.


16. Involvement of in-laws and parental influence.


17. Sense of humour: Are you a person that doesn't laugh or joke, just study and pray every minute? talk about it now


18. Punctuality.


19. Dependability: To what extent can you depend on him/her? Some men will say," she depend on me for everything, she doesn't have goals or visions" talk about it now.


20. Verbal intimacy: Freedom of expressing feelings


21. Home conflict and management


22. Anger management: Some spouses will say" whenever I'm in rage or angry, the only person that can calm me down is my mother or someone else" some will say " leave me for sometime and I will get over it" Talk about it.


23. Fear and anxiety


24. Friendship with opposite sex: don't hand shake or hug any other man when I'm around etc. talk about now.


25. Family friends: Who and who do you want as family friends? What caliber of people?


26. Personal friends


27. Level of ambition


28. Personal goals and achievements


29. Corporate life goals and achievements


30. Attitude towards weight: Many ladies are slim before marriage but fat after marriage. if you are a type that likes slim lady, look at her mother if she has, because, she's likely to look like her mother later in life. For men , spot belly etc. Talk about it now..


31. Religious belief and spiritual preference.


32. Church denomination: Is it her church you will be attending after wedding or his?


33. Church involvement


34. Hobbies and interests


35. Songs and music


36. Values and goals


37. Self control: Does he have a problem with women?


38. Past life


39. Amount of income to spend and save


40. House wife or career woman


41. Type of account


42. What percentage should be allocated to clothes, vacations; cash given away and to whom?


43. Means and risk of investment


44. Attitude about cleanliness


45. Location: Where to settle, geographical, commercial, spiritual, and social area to live


46. Order of priority: House before car or vice- versa


47. Size and style of house: Bungalow, upstairs, flat, duplex, fenced or open house. Talk about it now!


48. Ways of handling sickness: Are you the type that if somebody vomit around you or see blood, you will run away?


49. Means of getting treatment: Is it private hospital, or teaching hospital, or tradomedical center?


50. Payment of school fees


51. Children's schooling: Private or public?


52. Health standard: Are you the type that uses the drug or faith? Talk about it


53. Interpersonal and social skills: Does your spouse-to-be have caucus, caliber, or levels? Does he/she have pride or look down on people?


54. Stinginess


55. House helpers: Maid, gardener, gateman, driver, dry cleaner, house cleaner etc


56. Nature of food: Only local food or continental or mixed?


57. Mode of sleeping: Together or separately?


58. Mattress: Water bed, mat etc.


59. Sexual intimacy


60. Sexual intercourse during pregnancy


61. Types of furniture and interior decorations


62. Jewelries


63. Types of cloth to be wearing


64. Day or days of fasting in a week


65. Amount and type of travelling preferred: is it every vacation or yuletide period? is it by flight, land etc.


66. Time to be spent together: Some couples live away from each other throughout their lives, as a result of job etc.


67. When to go to bed and when to wake up.


68. Time for family altar.


69. Test on genotype, HIV/AIDS, blood group etc.


70. Intelligent decision


71. Nature of hair do: Plaiting, weaving, curling, wig etc.


72. Make up: Use of earring, lipstick, cosmetics pedicure etc


73. Temperament


So many young people are making excuses for their shortcomings in courtship, that, they don't know what to talk about. And, as a result of that, the only thing that is available to do is sex, which can damage their marital pursuit. All we have mentioned above are not a day talk; neither a month nor a year talk. They are something you can talk and talk until your mind is clear.


So many marriages are having problems today because they fail to talk the right thing while in courtship. They substitute their talking period for sex and other related acts.


FEWER PROBLEMS YOU WILL HAVE IN MARRIAGE IF YOU HAVE QUALITY TALKING IN COURTSHIP.


IT IS NOT TIME FOR MARRIAGE until you are satisfied with every talking, until your eyes can see clearly the bottom of the water, until you have guarantee of your second life (marriage).

You can save yourself from fruitless race in marriage now that you are not bonded with marital vows. You don't have to join the queue of failing marriages.

Marriage is sweet and marriage is bitter base on your own experience and content of your discussion while in courtship.


May we enjoy our Marriages to the fullest.



What are your thoughts? Leave a comment below!


Cc: farano, Rocktation


Read more here>>> https://anointedlinks..com/?m=1

6 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Courtship Checklist by anointedlinks: 12:36am On Jun 01, 2019
Dffff
Re: Courtship Checklist by luvyaself95(m): 6:09am On Jun 01, 2019
Great write-up

1 Like

Re: Courtship Checklist by anointedlinks: 7:20pm On Jun 02, 2019
It's after all the above mentioned that one can start thinking of the wedding plans and pre-wedding pictures. See below for more on wedding preparations;

Source - https://connectnigeria.com/articles/2017/07/the-ultimate-wedding-checklist-from-engagement-to-the-d-day/amp

Weddings are always a hassle. You think you have everything covered until it’s the wedding morning and someone asks, ‘Where are the wedding rings?’ and your head scatters. We’ve taken time to put down a detailed list of everything you would need to buy, reserve, order and arrange for your wedding. However, note that not everything on the list is necessary. You can make your checklist from ours depending on your circumstance or choice. Here’s our Nigerian white wedding checklist:

Vendors

Photographer
Videographer
Caterer
Cake Baker
Mixologist/Bartender/Drinks ‘provider’
Decorator
Band/D.J
M.C.
Waiters/Ushers (*You could use family members)

Reservations

Wedding night accommodation
Honeymoon destination
Reception Venue
Chair/Table rentals
Hotel reservations for guests

Others

Wedding Rings/Totems
Engagement Photos
Wedding Website
Car decorations
Souvenirs
Wedding Invitations
Wedding Program

Bride

Dresses
Undergarments
Shoes
Head Gear(s)
Jewelry
Bouquet
Makeup
Hair
Cosmetics
Purse

Bridal Train

Dresses
Head gears
Shoes
Bouquets
Hair arrangement
Hair accessories (pins, combs etc.)
Makeup
Jewelry
Handkerchiefs

Groom

Suit(s)
Shirt (s)
Tie
Undergarments
Shoes/ socks
Haircut (day before)
Toiletries

Groomsmen

Suits
Shirts
Ties
Shoes
Haircut

In-Laws

Outfits for Couples’ mothers
Outfits for Couples’ fathers

Transportation

Cars and Drivers to convey bride, groom, and party to church.
Cars and Drivers to convey party and couple to the reception.
Cars and drivers to convey family members to church and reception.

Church

Food for Choir and other workers
Food for priests
Honorarium for priests and other groups

Roles to assign (Usually friends take care of this when there’s no wedding planner)


Camera phone handler for instant pictures
Food distribution coordinator.
Drinks distribution coordinator.
Time Keeper (works with MC and DJ)
Bridal Train Guide
Transportation coordinator
Souvenir distribution coordinator
Gifts stand coordinator
Cash Collector
DJ song coordinator for important segments
General coordinator
Re: Courtship Checklist by anointedlinks: 11:45pm On Jul 29, 2023
Good luck
Re: Courtship Checklist by anointedlinks: 4:01pm On Dec 06, 2023
Talk it out
Re: Courtship Checklist by Magnoliaa(f): 4:17pm On Dec 06, 2023
Okay.

That's it.

I'm never getting married.


I do not have the attention span to go through all of the above if that's what it requires.
Re: Courtship Checklist by Teeyoo(m): 7:47pm On Dec 08, 2023
anointedlinks:
It's after all the above mentioned that one can start thinking of the wedding plans and pre-wedding pictures. See below for more on wedding preparations;

Source - https://connectnigeria.com/articles/2017/07/the-ultimate-wedding-checklist-from-engagement-to-the-d-day/amp

Weddings are always a hassle. You think you have everything covered until it’s the wedding morning and someone asks, ‘Where are the wedding rings?’ and your head scatters. We’ve taken time to put down a detailed list of everything you would need to buy, reserve, order and arrange for your wedding. However, note that not everything on the list is necessary. You can make your checklist from ours depending on your circumstance or choice. Here’s our Nigerian white wedding checklist:

Vendors

Photographer
Videographer
Caterer
Cake Baker
Mixologist/Bartender/Drinks ‘provider’
Decorator
Band/D.J
M.C.
Waiters/Ushers (*You could use family members)

Reservations

Wedding night accommodation
Honeymoon destination
Reception Venue
Chair/Table rentals
Hotel reservations for guests

Others

Wedding Rings/Totems
Engagement Photos
Wedding Website
Car decorations
Souvenirs
Wedding Invitations
Wedding Program

Bride

Dresses
Undergarments
Shoes
Head Gear(s)
Jewelry
Bouquet
Makeup
Hair
Cosmetics
Purse

Bridal Train

Dresses
Head gears
Shoes
Bouquets
Hair arrangement
Hair accessories (pins, combs etc.)
Makeup
Jewelry
Handkerchiefs

Groom

Suit(s)
Shirt (s)
Tie
Undergarments
Shoes/ socks
Haircut (day before)
Toiletries

Groomsmen

Suits
Shirts
Ties
Shoes
Haircut

In-Laws

Outfits for Couples’ mothers
Outfits for Couples’ fathers

Transportation

Cars and Drivers to convey bride, groom, and party to church.
Cars and Drivers to convey party and couple to the reception.
Cars and drivers to convey family members to church and reception.

Church

Food for Choir and other workers
Food for priests
Honorarium for priests and other groups

Roles to assign (Usually friends take care of this when there’s no wedding planner)


Camera phone handler for instant pictures
Food distribution coordinator.
Drinks distribution coordinator.
Time Keeper (works with MC and DJ)
Bridal Train Guide
Transportation coordinator
Souvenir distribution coordinator
Gifts stand coordinator
Cash Collector
DJ song coordinator for important segments
General coordinator

See gbese chai grin grin grin grin grin
Re: Courtship Checklist by anointedlinks: 9:35am On Dec 09, 2023
Teeyoo:


See gbese chai grin grin grin grin grin

cheesy Well, it shouldn't even be so, but tradition has made it this way.

If you are fortunate to have reasonable in-laws and a sensible spouse, all of it can be skipped if one does not have the funds for such.

A court wedding or a small ceremony would do

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