Courtship Checklist - Romance - Nairaland
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| Courtship Checklist by anointedlinks: 8:54pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
THINGS TO TALK ABOUT IN COURTSHIP (2nd Timothy 2:16) The time of courtship is not the time for feeling of pecking and kissing. it is a serious matter. it is a time to talk and get it straight away. it is expected of your courtship to prepare you for marriage, but, nowadays, reverse is the case, the activities in courtship can never secure happy marriage life.There are lot of things to know and understand, and how can you know and understand if you don't talk. Different Pictures of Courtships 1. Mute courtships: These are the set of people that don't talk freely in there courtship, whereby, fiancé is acting in a strange manner to his fiancée and vice versa. It is not that they are deaf dump but they are not close in heart. The major cause of this is ignorance. Sometimes, Christian brothers and sisters practice this kind of courtship in the name of spirituality. Also, some people will not want to offend their partners may be because of position, age difference or wealth, and as a result of that they will be mute throughout their courtship life. 2. Talkative courtships: These are the set of people that talk in their courtship but without sense. They never talk right things. They are inclined in excessive talking, that is, always ready to talk even at length but you cannot hold any point. They talk freely about unimportant things in a friendly way. This kind of courtship is usually full of gossip and malice. 3. Flippant courtships: These are the set of people that joke too much in their courtship. They take things for granted and turn everything to child play. They are never serious with each other. Serious matters are not common in their discussion. They thought inappropriately and laugh on things that doesn't worth it. They are too playful, frolicsome, perky, lighthearted, giddy, frivolous and silly in nature. Their talks lack intellectual substance and things not worth serious consideration. Full of trivial discussions. 4. Flamboyant courtships: These are the set of people that believe everything is fun. They never talk to plan, they talk to spend. Too extravagant. They are full of eatry, clubbing, film house etc. They can never sit down at the round table to talk about progress in their courtship, but the next party to attend. 5. Constructive courtship: These are the set of people that construct their marital future with the content of their discussions. They are full of talks that are carefully considered and meant to be helpful to their marriage in the nearest future. Their talks, jokes, and fun are building them up for glorious marriage. They are polite and moderate in every sense of life. Well-mannered, socially superior to ordinary people and considered refined or cultured. They talk with grace, courtesy, love and have respect for each other. Maturity is written all over them. Keys that can help you to talk constructively; 1. Interview: Always try to ask questions and make enquiry of what that looks ambiguous to you 2. Assessment: Always look back and see if what you have discussed is able to give you glorious home. Have you dealt with all issues that ought to be dealt with? Never go into the marriage if you are not sure. Have you talked about?: 1. Background 2. Do's and don'ts 3. Weaknesses: E.g. Snoring, eating habit e.t.c 4. Formal education: To what level? 5. Verbal skills: How does he/she talk? 6. Expected roles of both individuals in the marriage: His roles as husband and father and her roles as wife and mother of your children. 7. Love and respect: To what extent does she respect or submit to you as her husband, and to what extent does he loves you as his wife? 8. Number of children 9. Type of family planning 10. Gap between children 11. Child rearing view 12. Mental, social, psychological, spiritual, philosophy of life. 13. Ways of dealing with issues. 14. Talk about smoking, drinking, alcohol and coming home late 15. Night journey. 16. Involvement of in-laws and parental influence. 17. Sense of humour: Are you a person that doesn't laugh or joke, just study and pray every minute? talk about it now 18. Punctuality. 19. Dependability: To what extent can you depend on him/her? Some men will say," she depend on me for everything, she doesn't have goals or visions" talk about it now. 20. Verbal intimacy: Freedom of expressing feelings 21. Home conflict and management 22. Anger management: Some spouses will say" whenever I'm in rage or angry, the only person that can calm me down is my mother or someone else" some will say " leave me for sometime and I will get over it" Talk about it. 23. Fear and anxiety 24. Friendship with opposite sex: don't hand shake or hug any other man when I'm around etc. talk about now. 25. Family friends: Who and who do you want as family friends? What caliber of people? 26. Personal friends 27. Level of ambition 28. Personal goals and achievements 29. Corporate life goals and achievements 30. Attitude towards weight: Many ladies are slim before marriage but fat after marriage. if you are a type that likes slim lady, look at her mother if she has, because, she's likely to look like her mother later in life. For men , spot belly etc. Talk about it now.. 31. Religious belief and spiritual preference. 32. Church denomination: Is it her church you will be attending after wedding or his? 33. Church involvement 34. Hobbies and interests 35. Songs and music 36. Values and goals 37. Self control: Does he have a problem with women? 38. Past life 39. Amount of income to spend and save 40. House wife or career woman 41. Type of account 42. What percentage should be allocated to clothes, vacations; cash given away and to whom? 43. Means and risk of investment 44. Attitude about cleanliness 45. Location: Where to settle, geographical, commercial, spiritual, and social area to live 46. Order of priority: House before car or vice- versa 47. Size and style of house: Bungalow, upstairs, flat, duplex, fenced or open house. Talk about it now! 48. Ways of handling sickness: Are you the type that if somebody vomit around you or see blood, you will run away? 49. Means of getting treatment: Is it private hospital, or teaching hospital, or tradomedical center? 50. Payment of school fees 51. Children's schooling: Private or public? 52. Health standard: Are you the type that uses the drug or faith? Talk about it 53. Interpersonal and social skills: Does your spouse-to-be have caucus, caliber, or levels? Does he/she have pride or look down on people? 54. Stinginess 55. House helpers: Maid, gardener, gateman, driver, dry cleaner, house cleaner etc 56. Nature of food: Only local food or continental or mixed? 57. Mode of sleeping: Together or separately? 58. Mattress: Water bed, mat etc. 59. Sexual intimacy 60. Sexual intercourse during pregnancy 61. Types of furniture and interior decorations 62. Jewelries 63. Types of cloth to be wearing 64. Day or days of fasting in a week 65. Amount and type of travelling preferred: is it every vacation or yuletide period? is it by flight, land etc. 66. Time to be spent together: Some couples live away from each other throughout their lives, as a result of job etc. 67. When to go to bed and when to wake up. 68. Time for family altar. 69. Test on genotype, HIV/AIDS, blood group etc. 70. Intelligent decision 71. Nature of hair do: Plaiting, weaving, curling, wig etc. 72. Make up: Use of earring, lipstick, cosmetics pedicure etc 73. Temperament So many young people are making excuses for their shortcomings in courtship, that, they don't know what to talk about. And, as a result of that, the only thing that is available to do is sex, which can damage their marital pursuit. All we have mentioned above are not a day talk; neither a month nor a year talk. They are something you can talk and talk until your mind is clear. So many marriages are having problems today because they fail to talk the right thing while in courtship. They substitute their talking period for sex and other related acts. FEWER PROBLEMS YOU WILL HAVE IN MARRIAGE IF YOU HAVE QUALITY TALKING IN COURTSHIP. IT IS NOT TIME FOR MARRIAGE until you are satisfied with every talking, until your eyes can see clearly the bottom of the water, until you have guarantee of your second life (marriage). You can save yourself from fruitless race in marriage now that you are not bonded with marital vows. You don't have to join the queue of failing marriages. Marriage is sweet and marriage is bitter base on your own experience and content of your discussion while in courtship. May we enjoy our Marriages to the fullest. What are your thoughts? Leave a comment below! Cc: farano, Rocktation Read more here>>> https://anointedlinks..com/?m=1 6 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: Courtship Checklist by anointedlinks: 12:36am On Jun 01, 2019 |
Dffff |
| Re: Courtship Checklist by luvyaself95(m): 6:09am On Jun 01, 2019 |
Great write-up 1 Like |
| Re: Courtship Checklist by anointedlinks: 7:20pm On Jun 02, 2019 |
It's after all the above mentioned that one can start thinking of the wedding plans and pre-wedding pictures. See below for more on wedding preparations; Source - https://connectnigeria.com/articles/2017/07/the-ultimate-wedding-checklist-from-engagement-to-the-d-day/amp Weddings are always a hassle. You think you have everything covered until it’s the wedding morning and someone asks, ‘Where are the wedding rings?’ and your head scatters. We’ve taken time to put down a detailed list of everything you would need to buy, reserve, order and arrange for your wedding. However, note that not everything on the list is necessary. You can make your checklist from ours depending on your circumstance or choice. Here’s our Nigerian white wedding checklist: Vendors Photographer Videographer Caterer Cake Baker Mixologist/Bartender/Drinks ‘provider’ Decorator Band/D.J M.C. Waiters/Ushers (*You could use family members) Reservations Wedding night accommodation Honeymoon destination Reception Venue Chair/Table rentals Hotel reservations for guests Others Wedding Rings/Totems Engagement Photos Wedding Website Car decorations Souvenirs Wedding Invitations Wedding Program Bride Dresses Undergarments Shoes Head Gear(s) Jewelry Bouquet Makeup Hair Cosmetics Purse Bridal Train Dresses Head gears Shoes Bouquets Hair arrangement Hair accessories (pins, combs etc.) Makeup Jewelry Handkerchiefs Groom Suit(s) Shirt (s) Tie Undergarments Shoes/ socks Haircut (day before) Toiletries Groomsmen Suits Shirts Ties Shoes Haircut In-Laws Outfits for Couples’ mothers Outfits for Couples’ fathers Transportation Cars and Drivers to convey bride, groom, and party to church. Cars and Drivers to convey party and couple to the reception. Cars and drivers to convey family members to church and reception. Church Food for Choir and other workers Food for priests Honorarium for priests and other groups Roles to assign (Usually friends take care of this when there’s no wedding planner) Camera phone handler for instant pictures Food distribution coordinator. Drinks distribution coordinator. Time Keeper (works with MC and DJ) Bridal Train Guide Transportation coordinator Souvenir distribution coordinator Gifts stand coordinator Cash Collector DJ song coordinator for important segments General coordinator |
| Re: Courtship Checklist by anointedlinks: 11:45pm On Jul 29, 2023 |
Good luck |
| Re: Courtship Checklist by anointedlinks: 4:01pm On Dec 06, 2023 |
Talk it out |
| Re: Courtship Checklist by Magnoliaa(f): 4:17pm On Dec 06, 2023 |
Okay. That's it. I'm never getting married. I do not have the attention span to go through all of the above if that's what it requires. |
| Re: Courtship Checklist by Teeyoo(m): 7:47pm On Dec 08, 2023 |
anointedlinks: See gbese chai  |
| Re: Courtship Checklist by anointedlinks: 9:35am On Dec 09, 2023 |
Teeyoo:  Well, it shouldn't even be so, but tradition has made it this way. If you are fortunate to have reasonable in-laws and a sensible spouse, all of it can be skipped if one does not have the funds for such. A court wedding or a small ceremony would do |
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