₦airaland Forum

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CsRockefeller:
2 Quick things.

1. I have been friends with this girl/lady since 2016, because of school, NYSC and distance we haven't seen that much, though we talk once in a while. I was supposed to officially ask her out this weekend, to kick start the relationship. So, I decided that we should talk about sex, because she never even by chance says anything sexual or romantic. I went first, that I have never had sex, though use to do the other stuff (I didn't let her know).

I asked about hers, I was shocked when she told me she lost her virginity @19 during her first relationship, I couldn't believe it, this is a girl that is always about church at Winners, always avoiding dirty topics. Went on to press if she was a committed xtain when this happened, she said yes. I wasn't convinced, so I asked her if d guy manipulated her to sleep with her, she said she gave it to him freely. I was flabbergasted, really!, I said to myself, this girl that I thought was "Virgin Mary" you can be dis liberal.

I didn't want to press any further because she was beginning to feel sorry and embarrassed. She went on to ask me if sex will be required in our relationship, that if I date her, will i request for sex, I asked her what she wants, she said she wants to keep herself till her weeding night, more like secondary abstinence. I didn't say anything. She quickly went offline, its 2 days now, her no has been switched off, she isnt online neither.

I'm wondering if I scared her. Sincerely, all these while, I thought she was a virgin and probably that's d reason I still maintained d frienship. But now, I'm having doubts. Ny the way, I'm not even interested in having sex with her.

2. I stayed with a family friend after my service early this year, in the house was this Unilag 100l girl staying with them. She is 19yrs old, I really liked her but didn't let her know. Her phone was so bad that I had to get one small phone for her worth 5k, her parents are actually not strong financially. I left the house in March and decided not to use my advantage to get d girl, so I stop communicating with her.

Recently, She contacted me, that it has been a long time, actually, I really like her and have missed her but wanted her to concentrate on her studies. She complained that d charging point of d phone I bought for her is faulty and that she is looking for any job she can while she schools.

In her own words, she said "I need money". So, we began talking, found out that her Dad gave her 10k a month and she needs 20k every month to meet her needs effectively. She is a young and beautiful girl, so I was scared what she can become if she falls in d wrong hand, I stylishly asked her if she has a BF, she said no. So, I went on to promise her that I will get a small 2nd hand phone for her soon, and that I will support her with 5k every month while she is in school.

Right now, I'm trying to see if she can't get a holiday job. At d same time, I'm thinking is this not a bad idea? Someone u are not dating, you want to buy her a phone and place her on a monthly stipends. At the same time, I like her and want to ask her out, but I'm thinking she is just interested in me helping her financially.

I don't feel like getting d phone again, especially since we are not dating and she remembered me because d old phone is bad.

But I like her though.

These 2 incidents happened consecutively.

The first one happened like Sunday, while d 2nd happened on Monday.

Listen tight buddy,
Unless you act cognitively, the second case study can only yield three possible outcomes;
1.You decide to play the good guy by sponsoring her, thereby raising her staus quo to the next horizon, then she guardian-zones you, bleeps everybody else but you and spends the stipend on other 3-legged creatures.
2. You woo her, she rejects and exhibits utmost dissappointment, claiming she thought you were different and leaving you in desperation to redeem your image....then you start sponsoring her and ''outcome 1'' follows suit.
3. You take no action and lose the punanee to another contender.


Question, what do these outcomes all have in common?
Answer......................''YOU LOSE''

My advice is, since you seem to be the churchguy type, just state your intentions to her and if she rejects, you steer clear.

IceColdVeins:
Listen tight buddy,
Unless you act cognitively, the second case study can only yield three possible outcomes;
1.You decide to play the good guy by sponsoring her, thereby raising her staus quo to the next horizon, then she guardian-zones you, bleeps everybody else but you and spends the stipend on other 3-legged creatures.
2. You woo her, she rejects and exhibits utmost dissappointment, claiming she thought you were different and leaving you in desperation to redeem your image....then you start sponsoring her and ''outcome 1'' follows suit.
3. You take no action and lose the punanee to another contender.


Question, what do these outcomes all have in common?
Answer......................''YOU LOSE''

My advice is, since you seem to be the churchguy type, just state your intentions to her and if she rejects, you steer clear.

I like you, very blunt and straight to the point like a typical no 9 on the football pitch, no need to show boot, hit d target and get d ball at the back of the post.

Wish I could be like you.

Amakavula:
read between the lines here with me Sis, he is assuming her to be some kind of innocent bystander to the sex rather than an active participant.

That she made some mistake, rather than something she wanted and did and will still do, religion or not.

She might love to do it again and again but not with him. As he clearly doesn't attract her enough to give him, hence why she was was liberal about it

Lol.... She has agreed to have sex with me next week without me even asking her out.



This was a girl i thought was pure and chaste.

But, I'm scared, have not done this b4.

CsRockefeller:
Lol.... She has agreed to have sex with me next week without me even asking her out.



This was a girl i thought was pure and chaste.

But, I'm scared, have not done this b4.

No girl is chaste or pure, just be the guy she rates way high and you would see her naughty side.

Amakavula:
No girl is chaste or pure, just be the guy she rates way high and you would see her naughty side.

Babe which part of Nigeria are you from.?

Warship:
Babe which part of Nigeria are you from.?

She's from the SE.

CsRockefeller:
She's from the SE.

Which part of the SE is Amakavula from.?
Amakavula, I will also appreciate a response from you.

Amakavula:
No girl is chaste or pure, just be the guy she rates way high and you would see her naughty side.

Good evening

Don't feel offended concerning my question below

Which part of the South East are you from.?

3 years of that girl in Unilag will most likely guarantee you’ll never have the second. The probability of that happening is way too massive for your to wait out to see the result.

If she is indeed poor the school will teach her hustling skills n from their long throat. Give her a year more to see the signs. If Na Yabatech now you get hope but lag so long the girl fine small.

CsRockefeller:
Let me be very honest with you and everyone here.

I don't give a hoot, whether she is a virgin or not as long as its in her past. She is a very nice girl one who can be trusted.

However, my concern is with her Life goals, she is about 23, a hair dresser, her mum is late, her Dad is somewhere in Cotonou, her brothers are in Abeokuta, only her stays at Ota.

Right now, there is no plan for her to go to school, not even NCE or OND, she is fending for herself, which is very noble, but, I don't want to shoulder any heavy responsibility right now, If in d next 3 years, I want to settle down, where would she be career wise?

I don't want to use that as an excuse, so that she doesn't feel bad. So this sex thing can be my escape route. Tell her I can't be in a relationship without sex since she wants to abstain, then we all go our separate ways.

At least d Unilag girl has something going on for her. In 3 years time, she will be a graduate of Bio-Genetics, shes younger and smarter.

Even if we don't get to date, at least any investment on her (which wouldn't be high) would be worth it, to herself, her family and the society at large.

Modphase:
3 years of that girl in Unilag will most likely guarantee you’ll never have the second. The probability of that happening is way too massive for your to wait out to see the result.

If she is indeed poor the school will teach her hustling skills n from their long throat. Give her a year more to see the signs. If Na Yabatech now you get hope but lag so long the girl fine small.

I don't think i am interested in the 2 anymore.

The first one needs my time/presence, the 2nd, my money.

i don't have any to give them now. Instead, gave my younger Sis 5k yesterday.