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1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Not The Marriage I Had In Mind / Never Accept S*x After Marriage, I Did And I Am Regretting Now–married Lady Says / I Am Tired Of This Marriage.. I Want Out.. (2) (3) (4)

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Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by safarigirl(f): 12:51pm On Aug 13, 2019
sisisioge:
Madam! You've got to speak his language too...when he starts, just totally ignore him. Don't beg, don't cook, don't take the sex, don't frown, speak when spoken to, don't carry face, act like his behaviour is normal, just dey look too. Wtf! Hian!


Una just dey make single hood sweet sotey married friends dey advise person say there is no rush, take your time. Lawd! Where are the good fair people!!!!
lol.....as in, she dey worry over pesin wey no send her
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by CanadaOrBust: 12:51pm On Aug 13, 2019
goodgirl2409:
My husband has really changed. He is so unemotional and revengeful.
I will cook for him severally and he won’t eat. I will m.

Some people are simply DIFFICULT. Unfortunately u married one of them. If there are no kids yet, split.

2 Likes

Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by Sonnobax15(m): 12:51pm On Aug 13, 2019
He even used to wash your undies??...and all of a sudden,his love 4 you started witnessing battery-low??...tbh,i'm still a bachelor and am speechlex..so,let me fold my hands and learn from married commentors in-here,

1 Like

Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by anonimi: 12:52pm On Aug 13, 2019
goodgirl2409:
My husband has really changed. He is so unemotional and revengeful.
I will cook for him severally and he won’t eat. I will serve him food and he won’t eat. I will ask him what I have done and he won’t respond. Every time he gives me the silent treatment.

I feel so pained because I expected more from this marriage but barely 1 year after, he doesn’t seem to love me anymore. Sometimes 1 month will pass, no sex. He would go out and won’t bother to tell me where he is going.

He would come back very late and would just ignore me like I don’t exist.
Although he drops money for me to run the house and communicates strictly with me, it make no sense to me.
I am tired. Is this how marriage is? Is this how men are or am I just suffering?

I don’t have anyone to beg to talk to him,and I was told reporting him to any of his family members is not good. things are getting worse everyday. People who have married for many years and are succeeding please help me. What am I not doing right?

UPDATE.
I want to add that it is not sexual incompatibility.
When he is in his happy mood, I would even be tired of his endless gist. S-x will be very great. He is kind and caring. Such a wonderful man. In fact an angel. He would even wash my underwear’s and clothes.

But when his mood start which is his mood most of the time, he won’t talk to you, he won’t eat. I will finish cooking, he will go outside and buy another food and come and cook. He won’t come back on time. I will ask him what is it, he would not respond. He always feels everything I do to annoy him, i do it on purpose. I am a peace loving person. Everyone around that knows the story always say that he has a problem.

Have you asked him to see a psychotherapist?
Not Psycho the Rapist o grin
Or get someone whose opinion he will respect to get him to see a psychotherapist as quickly as possible.
Cheers.
Meanwhile is he the guy from your 2016 question of a post?

goodgirl2409:
So this guy is hansome,rich and about 35 years old. He is a yoruba guy. He is asking one of my friend out but she is scared because she feels he may have a wife somewhere. He looks too good to be true and what would he have been waiting for ever since that he hasn't married till now,he has the money and everything. Could he be a flirt? Are there really sincere single men within that age who are finding it difficult to get a good woman?

3 Likes

Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by Topsic70: 12:52pm On Aug 13, 2019
There are 2 sides to a coin. You've only told us ur side. Until we hear from ur husband's side, no dice!

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by Sandypearl: 12:52pm On Aug 13, 2019
As long as there is no domestic violence, woman you need to pray,most times do midnight prayers naked if possible for your marriage to work.There is a strange woman attending to him that wants to break your home.Be creative too in your marriage to spice it up.
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by Nobody: 12:53pm On Aug 13, 2019
Welcome to the rest of your life; besides, do you think you're the only one already tired? You better grit your teeth and learn to cope with it, sebi na you say to marry na by force grin

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by Lexusgs430: 12:53pm On Aug 13, 2019
samblessed:
Madame, I might just contribute a little to help you on this challenge.

Firstly, relationship does not have any specific success formula to adopt bcs we are all wired differently. The best formula for a successful relationship is this; study your partner carefully by knowing his likes and dislikes, his weakness and strength etc, and create your own formula for a successful relationship out of your findings.
But from your short write up, I assume you didn't court with him or maybe you did and didn't open your eyes to the behaviors he is exhibiting now which has long been there. Your husband seems to be the type that's good at keeping malice, or not talking too much when provoked.

I advice you wake him up in the early hours of the morning, with tears in your eyes and genuinely ask him what the problem is and promise him to change. But if he still refuses to open up after few months, then know it's much more than you think. At this point, there's indeed cause for concern.

If I may ask, does he hit you at any slightest provocation? If he does, I'll suggest you temporary leave the house for the meantime.


This would never work for me...... Waking me up from a deep sleep, triggers a migraine....... It would further complicate issues..........

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by SOPWriter: 12:53pm On Aug 13, 2019
goodgirl2409:
My husband has really changed. He is so unemotional and revengeful.
I will cook for him severally and he won’t eat. I will serve him food and he won’t eat. I will ask him what I have done and he won’t respond. Every time he gives me the silent treatment.

I feel so pained because I expected more from this marriage but barely 1 year after, he doesn’t seem to love me anymore. Sometimes 1 month will pass, no sex. He would go out and won’t bother to tell me where he is going.



He would come back very late and would just ignore me like I don’t exist.
Although he drops money for me to run the house and communicates strictly with me, it make no sense to me.
I am tired. Is this how marriage is? Is this how men are or am I just suffering?

I don’t have anyone to beg to talk to him,and I was told reporting him to any of his family members is not good. things are getting worse everyday. People who have married for many years and are succeeding please help me. What am I not doing right?

UPDATE.
I want to add that it is not sexual incompatibility.
When he is in his happy mood, I would even be tired of his endless gist. S-x will be very great. He is kind and caring. Such a wonderful man. In fact an angel. He would even wash my underwear’s and clothes.

But when his mood start which is his mood most of the time, he won’t talk to you, he won’t eat. I will finish cooking, he will go outside and buy another food and come and cook. He won’t come back on time. I will ask him what is it, he would not respond. He always feels everything I do to annoy him, i do it on purpose. I am a peace loving person. Everyone around that knows the story
always say that he has a problem.
Communicate with him about his interests and ask how his business/Job is doing

1 Like

Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by Myself2(m): 12:53pm On Aug 13, 2019
Just one year into the marriage and he is leaving you to go one whole month without sex shocked shocked shocked
That boy is evil........

Well he is your husband already so tell him you'd like to have a heart to heart talk with him and ask him what the problem is,,,be gentle but very firm to ensure you know what the problem is.At least once you know that, then getting the solution becomes a bit easier
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by Nobody: 12:54pm On Aug 13, 2019
goodgirl2409:


We have talked severally but nothing has changed. Every month, he puts up this attitude like 3 three weeks in a month, 1 week, things maybe normal.

That one week is it when he has money or less work to do. It might be financial issue or work related.

Wish I could help but not married but I do distance myself from people when broke or stressed out

1 Like

Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by anonimi: 12:55pm On Aug 13, 2019
Sandypearl:
As long as there is no domestic violence, woman you need to pray,most times do midnight prayers naked if possible for your marriage to work.There is a strange woman attending to him that wants to break your home.Be creative too in your marriage to spice it up.


www.nairaland.com/attachments/4160988_image_jpeg_jpeg6f95b5e7a24ad4fc0808d6698fd37362

11 Likes

Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by DJInfluence: 12:56pm On Aug 13, 2019
after the updated information you provided, can you confirm if this behavior is only towards you or he is like this with other people too? It could be your husband is battling depression that both of you are not even aware of. because if his mood swings the way you described, then you might not be the issue.
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by initiate: 12:56pm On Aug 13, 2019
This is a clear case of psychiatric problem. Please don't see it as a stigma and quickly talk to a doctor so he can refer you appropriately. The guy needs help and It will get worse if you ignore.

Remember what our parents used to do. Get someone to do undercover research before marrying into a family. That's what you are suffering now. I wish you well.

2 Likes

Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by xtivin2: 12:56pm On Aug 13, 2019
Their are forces opposing your marriage spiritually, the temporary time he has with you is determined by the temporary break given to him in the spiritual. Go to God with all you have and pray, their are forces in your mother side working against you. Pls pray
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by anonimi: 12:57pm On Aug 13, 2019
goodgirl2409:
We have talked severally but nothing has changed. Every month, he puts up this attitude like 3 three weeks in a month, 1 week, things maybe normal.

The earlier you get him to see a psychotherapist the better before it gets worse.
Wishing you all the best.

1 Like

Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by DJInfluence: 12:57pm On Aug 13, 2019

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by 12345baba(m): 12:57pm On Aug 13, 2019
Ur matter confuse me o
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by blowjob: 12:57pm On Aug 13, 2019
grin grin grin grin


TALK TOO MUCH grin grin grin grin


BLA BLA BLA grin


SAI BABA BUHARI.
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by Nobody: 12:57pm On Aug 13, 2019
Divay22:
I don't think i wanna get married.
I'm scared.
Can't comma kee myself o cheesy
Marriage is a good thing when you get the right person.
Someone that understands you and cherish you. That is why courtship should be compulsory.

1 Like

Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by folake4u(f): 12:57pm On Aug 13, 2019
Marriage these days be giving me chills embarassed

1 Like 1 Share

Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by legalwealth(m): 12:57pm On Aug 13, 2019
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by Chibuzoc(m): 12:58pm On Aug 13, 2019
goodgirl2409:
My husband has really changed. He is so unemotional and revengeful.
I will cook for him severally and he won’t eat. I will serve him food and he won’t eat. I will ask him what I have done and he won’t respond. Every time he gives me the silent treatment.

I feel so pained because I expected more from this marriage but barely 1 year after, he doesn’t seem to love me anymore. Sometimes 1 month will pass, no sex. He would go out and won’t bother to tell me where he is going.



He would come back very late and would just ignore me like I don’t exist.
Although he drops money for me to run the house and communicates strictly with me, it make no sense to me.
I am tired. Is this how marriage is? Is this how men are or am I just suffering?

I don’t have anyone to beg to talk to him,and I was told reporting him to any of his family members is not good. things are getting worse everyday. People who have married for many years and are succeeding please help me. What am I not doing right?

UPDATE.
I want to add that it is not sexual incompatibility.
When he is in his happy mood, I would even be tired of his endless gist. S-x will be very great. He is kind and caring. Such a wonderful man. In fact an angel. He would even wash my underwear’s and clothes.

But when his mood start which is his mood most of the time, he won’t talk to you, he won’t eat. I will finish cooking, he will go outside and buy another food and come and cook. He won’t come back on time. I will ask him what is it, he would not respond. He always feels everything I do to annoy him, i do it on purpose. I am a peace loving person. Everyone around that knows the story
always say that he has a problem.
Nothing happens for nothing. You might have done that affected his inner man just study the inner man and you would see what's missing
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by danot1030: 12:58pm On Aug 13, 2019
It's not entirely true that reporting him to his people is wrong, it's so in case where you have made it an route out when you both have problems that should be resolved between you.

In this case now i will suggest you discuss it with someone who has his ears, it could be that you are not even the problem that he is having personal problem like depression or other things related to it.

It's better you allow trusted and respectable people from outside come instead of dieing in the silence.

1 Like

Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by anonimi: 12:58pm On Aug 13, 2019
initiate:
This is a clear case of psychiatric problem. Please don't see it as a stigma and quickly talk to a doctor so he can refer you appropriately. The guy needs help and It will get worse if you ignore.

Remember what our parents used to do. Get someone to do undercover research before marrying into a family. That's what you are suffering now. I wish you well.

Why not say mental health issues instead of what you have in bold, which is already a stigmatised label

3 Likes

Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by igwefivestar(m): 12:58pm On Aug 13, 2019
goodgirl2409:
My husband has really changed. He is so unemotional and revengeful.
I will cook for him severally and he won’t eat. I will serve him food and he won’t eat. I will ask him what I have done and he won’t respond. Every time he gives me the silent treatment.

I feel so pained because I expected more from this marriage but barely 1 year after, he doesn’t seem to love me anymore. Sometimes 1 month will pass, no sex. He would go out and won’t bother to tell me where he is going.



He would come back very late and would just ignore me like I don’t exist.
Although he drops money for me to run the house and communicates strictly with me, it make no sense to me.
I am tired. Is this how marriage is? Is this how men are or am I just suffering?

I don’t have anyone to beg to talk to him,and I was told reporting him to any of his family members is not good. things are getting worse everyday. People who have married for many years and are succeeding please help me. What am I not doing right?

UPDATE.
I want to add that it is not sexual incompatibility.
When he is in his happy mood, I would even be tired of his endless gist. S-x will be very great. He is kind and caring. Such a wonderful man. In fact an angel. He would even wash my underwear’s and clothes.

But when his mood start which is his mood most of the time, he won’t talk to you, he won’t eat. I will finish cooking, he will go outside and buy another food and come and cook. He won’t come back on time. I will ask him what is it, he would not respond. He always feels everything I do to annoy him, i do it on purpose. I am a peace loving person. Everyone around that knows the story
always say that he has a problem.
am so sorry Op, but I think the enemy is at work. Take it to God in prayers. Something is seriously wrong somewhere
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by Owulufelix147(m): 12:59pm On Aug 13, 2019
Oh my heavenly father ... you killed it fam weldone
Mekenz:
madam how long do you guy's courted before these marriage? secondary you have to look inwards, maybe there are characters that you normally exhibit that got him attracted to you, maybe you drop all those,thinking since you're marriage no need, your husband maybe someone, that doesn't like complaining therefore chooses to ignore you,since you're no longer as daring as before.

there is a popular saying.......

men marry their wife's with the hope, that they won't change, but they does......

while

women marry their husband thinking that they would change, but they never.

Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by Mrsj89(f): 12:59pm On Aug 13, 2019
Ignore him, look for ways to make yourself happy, ignore him completely he keeps doing that because of the effect it has on you, don't let it get to you, he will stop...

For those of you quoting, I am a happily married Woman and i have been married for years with beautiful children, when you have a problem you talk about it and not go quiet on your spouse who is not a prophetess expecting her to read your mind...for those using abusive words on social media forums, keep exposing your upbringing...

4 Likes

Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by MrNipplesLover(m): 12:59pm On Aug 13, 2019
marriage and issues.


well, from the Op, I can sense the lady is not saying the real issues.

nothing happens without a reason.


OP, be bold enough and post the real issue and let NL judge Judy (ies) put mouth.


note, if u refuse to post the truth here, u wont get a solution (befitting suggestions) from the people you are asking for their input here.

2 Likes

Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by Enskynelson(m): 1:00pm On Aug 13, 2019
Good men don't just become monsters. It is either a spiritual issue or there is something you did that has turned the once loving man into an cold ice- without feelings. Try and attack the problem with both approach. An SMS he saw on your phone, that secret he found u kept from him etc could be the reason. Try and find out.

1 Like

Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by anonimi: 1:00pm On Aug 13, 2019
danot1030:
It's not entirely true that reporting him to his people is wrong, it's so in case where you have made it an route out when you both have problems that should be resolved between you.

In this case now i will suggest you discuss it with someone who has his ears, it could be that you are not even the problem that he is having personal problem like depression or other things related to it.

It's better you allow trusted and respectable people from outside come instead of dieing in the silence.

Thanks for your choice of words instead of the guy screaming psychiatric upandan anyhow. undecided angry

2 Likes

Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by blackslayer: 1:00pm On Aug 13, 2019
sisisioge:
Madam! You've got to speak his language too...when he starts, just totally ignore him. Don't beg, don't cook, don't take the sex, don't frown, speak when spoken to, don't carry face, act like his behaviour is normal, just dey look too. Wtf! Hian!


Una just dey make single hood sweet sotey married friends dey advise person say there is no rush, take your time. Lawd! Where are the good fair people!!!!

they are out there...pray to find one!!!! trust me...i gave up myself however God has answered my prayers!

2 Likes

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