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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired (78808 Views)
Not The Marriage I Had In Mind / Never Accept S*x After Marriage, I Did And I Am Regretting Now–married Lady Says / I Am Tired Of This Marriage.. I Want Out.. (2) (3) (4)
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Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by Godoverevery: 1:14pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
healthserve:you totally wrong .....u just hear one side of a story and just conclude. the Op isn't saying the whole truth trust me.......d husband is reacting to something just doing it the wrong. like me for instance if my gf reject my advancement towards sex atimes i feel totally withdrawn from her..... like i totally ignore her for months dat doesn't mean it don't love her......it just a character av been battling with since my teens and we all forget everyone has different bad characters...... like i hate people telling me No it makes me feel i did a terrible thing asking the person so i will just withdraw myself completely. My advise is she should get her man to talk Wen such happens it will help alot. |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by otokx(m): 1:15pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
Interesting, the first 2 years was told are the most challenging. There is something you are not telling us. 1 Like |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by BORN2RULE20(m): 1:16pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow. 6 Likes
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Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by jaxxy(m): 1:16pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
goodgirl2409: Was he moody when u were dating? How long did u date? I don’t believe people just change it’s either u didn’t or refused to read the signs. Or Smtn happened or changed after the marriage which lead to his reoccurring mood swings. This is why I say people shud date to get married bt to know each other 1st or else u might just be marrying a total stranger. Ur husband shud be ur best frnd u should be able to know what he’s thinking or know how to get him to tell u without 3rd parties coming in. Solution based on my limited observation: When he’s moody try to give him space and do what u can and when he’s in a good mood discuss what happened or just ask random questions like what makes him moody or what can u do to improve the communication and marriage. Did u change in ur looks after marriage cos sm Men get bored or pissed about such changes and many ladies are insensitive to these changes once they get married they feel that’s the end to looking great. Do u even know what ur hubby likes and doesn’t like? |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by flyingdutchman(m): 1:17pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
Sounds to me like you two should go for marriage counseling. Marriage no be beans. Even I, dey learn. |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by cococandy(f): 1:18pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
Oh shut the fvck up franchasng: 10 Likes |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by yesloaded: 1:18pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
goodgirl2409:I he's a business man or workaholic type, it's normal but you need to have patience & communicate with your man when he's in happy mood. Let him realize how you feel whenever he's moody Also, check yourself if your personal hygiene is OK (I don't mean to disrespect ma) It is well with your marriage, divorce is not an option because what you are going through now is not worth it at all |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by MrNipplesLover(m): 1:19pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
Duggedised12: are you now married? |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by Zigdore: 1:19pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
Well the op has said her part of the story but we still need the mans side to know how to advise. 1 Like |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by healthserve(m): 1:19pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
Godoverevery: A man is the head and director. If a man has needs he should communicate and not give attitude like a teen 3 Likes |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by bmos(m): 1:20pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
What happened? [/quote] See a pastor. I dont mean all those randy gullible ones. God has a healing awaiting you |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by osazsky(m): 1:20pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
He is definately depressed pls talk him out,marriage is overrated in this part of the country when u go in and u dont get the heavens and illusions of marriage it causes depression immediately at times insomnia which can cause madness as in koko nenter 1 Like |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by Image123(m): 1:20pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
goodgirl2409: It's either you are not yet pregnant and he is very worried. Or he has a problem with your behaviour and responses. Communicate properly. Like if he told you A in the past, and you argued without changing. Instead of him telling A, he prefers to use his strength for malice instead of arguments and fight. It can be as simple as telling you to shower often. As soon as he enters and sees you have not showered, and he knows that if he mentions it, you will argue how justified you are for not showering and how it's not a big deal. He'll simply switch off. No strength for argument. 4 Likes |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by SSAwhistleblowe: 1:20pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
You sef ignore him small ...don’t cook sef and when he cooks his own dish and eat out of it and in it all be laughing and smiling as if nothing is wrong o .. thank me later... it works 1 Like |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by Duggedised12(f): 1:20pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
MrNipplesLover:why the question? |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by KanuSE: 1:21pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
daddytime: And to what end would that be? Why would the young man embark on such meaningless adventure? I actually take a different standpoint on this matter though as we need to be asking the Op some serious and critical questions. 1 Like |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by ojoj(m): 1:21pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
Op, your husband is fine. There is an/some information he stumbled on that always disturb his mind. Such information is a negative one. You have to know such information. You have to wake up in d middle of the night and cry and remind how the two of you started so that he can give you the information. Also you have to over his instructions. We men don't like our wives not respecting our instructions. As a married man of many years, I too go through this mood but I quickly resolve with my wife because the more the snubness continues, the more in the gap in the relationship. Marriage is sweet. You are going through one of the challenges of marriage especially in the early stage. Don't give up. If you leave this one, do you know what the next one has in store for you. Also please take your case to God. It is well. Once again don't give up. It is well! 2 Likes |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by BORN2RULE20(m): 1:21pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
There is no such thing as a "broken family." Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family. And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with you. 3 Likes
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Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by Nobody: 1:21pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
Divay22:She didn’t study him well. Love supersede all. I don’t think the man love the lady . I have experience love once and I know how it’s works only seeing my ex babe sweating from work makes me cry. |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by Validated: 1:21pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
Be patient young woman. This man was all alone for maybe 25 to 30 years. Now you have joined him to destabilize his privacy. He will adjust after your first or second child. Patience in endurance without complaining and marriage requires a lot of patience. Do not listen to anyone asking you to leave him. They do not mean well. Some may say he is cheating. Possible but you are his wife any outsider is a rag. A rag is never placed on the closet but in the bin area. So see any outsider as a rag. If you are a Christian, pray. Get the book ... a praying wife... cant remember the author again. Pray for him while he is still in bed and possibly pray aloud for him to hear you pour your thoughts to God. Show him love without words. Love him with all you got. He is your king and your closest friend. Do not go about complaining. Those you are complaining to are not better off. God bless your marriage! 4 Likes |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by KanuSE: 1:23pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
healthserve: That would be unfair, especially to the young man. |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by bmos(m): 1:23pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
?[/quote] See a pastor. I don't mean those randy gullible ones. There is healing awaiting your husband |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by Godsonkemz(m): 1:23pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
khatea: Perfect response to the right situation. If this approach fails to work, no other will work. To relate it personal, no matter how tough i may appear to be, i can't stand the sight of my woman crying without asking her why she's crying even if she's at fault or i have something against her I'd take up the whole blame. 1 Like |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by Nobody: 1:23pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
Well sis, its over 4yrs since I login in.... But you question relates to my kind of behavior. The issues here MAYBE is his expectations in the marriage. Serious I can decide not to talk to you for months simply because I don't like you attitude? This is not based on you said (harsh words don't move ...). Secondly is you hubby a virgin (how is his sex life before marriage) ?? How was yours?? Then I recommende his spiritual father should be involve (In case of intra conflict within him... & Spirit wfy) Money is not the issue (could me the stress.. In this case please in the name of what you worship give him space.. I know how it feels.. I once stopped calling and texting my Bae because of this.. Only on serious case I will call when she cry and ask for forgiveness, I ask for space) He loves you... Just know that. Just that the changes as a married man is much... can't relate it because he has few friends and non is trust worthy because we do find it difficult to relate our present issues including parents so don't even think of involving them (worse the issue or if you want to end it or test his love) 2 Likes |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by healthserve(m): 1:24pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
KanuSE: Read the last paragraph Sir. Have a nice day |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by BORN2RULE20(m): 1:24pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
You know it's never fifty-fifty in a marriage. It's always seventy-thirty, or sixty-forty. Someone falls in love first. Someone puts someone else up on a pedestal. Someone works very hard to keep things rolling smoothly; someone else sails along for the ride. 3 Likes 2 Shares
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Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by Tvegas(m): 1:24pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
70% of marrital problems started from the foundation,i mean the courtship days. How well did you get to know him before marriage,the symptoms were probably there but you couldn't see it. Stop blaming yourself because you married an emotional blackmailer who doesnt want to grow up. If you dont have a kid yet i will advise you hold on to see if he changes because you may need to leave the union if the symptoms get worse. Life is too short to be miserable. He should be accountable to someone,reach out for help if possible. Finally pray, prayer changes tough situations. 3 Likes |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by Philinho(m): 1:24pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
Watch the movie called "War Room"
Thanks |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by mamajaz(f): 1:24pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
healthserve: I tried to see if it was Nwamaikpe, but I knew, he couldn't have been here with something this reasonable. God bless you. 1 Like |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by incogni2o: 1:25pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
Let me give you this advice, I am somewhat like Him. He truly Loves you but always wants you to sync with Him at all times. Firstly, He is not cheating. Secondly, He needs Respect, and when I mean respect........REAL, not superficial respect. Thirdly, Try to know things that offend Him, and don't take them or Him for granted. You have a ability to make this marriage as Happy as you can,I understand he may offend you at times, but at those times, speak gently to make Him understand how he has offended you. I know you also have some things you are not saying and I am not surprised as you are a Woman, You guys seem to see things from the current state, not the causative state(what really started the mood swing). This your Husband, It's either he is always very Happy with you or very Unhappy. You have to be a WIFE, Please read Proverbs 31. A Woman owns the Home, you are the rudder, so you have to paddle the House (and paddle Him) the way you want. Again,He Loves You. I believe he may be an introvert with not so may Friends and people like that most times are Faithful You are a Woman, not a MAN, Please let him feel his Manliness in your Humility, Gentle speaking and Respect,in time LOVE AND HAPPINESS flows in the Home 4 Likes |
Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by Bbbwings: 1:25pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
Divay22:Really
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Re: 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired by Godoverevery: 1:26pm On Aug 13, 2019 |
healthserve:lol...... and if he decides not to we are all different dat the beauty of life.....he own is still better for the Op ... maybe she come take d one dat won't even come home and won't drop a kobo. she sud just know what he is reacting to am very sure he is reacting to something and just the malice type .....am like dat too. 1 Like |
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