₦airaland Forum

may320:
My friend go and read from the beginning and stop being a lazy youth!

.That is what we are known for... Insult and abuses.... You have raised a bad word on me... Without provocation.. .and there you are condemning the Op

ScotMisile:
.That is what we are known for... Insult and abuses.... You have raised a bad word on me... Without provocation.. .and there you are condemning the Op

Not an abuse dear. Pun intended.
Just trying to let you know it goes far beyond the op mentioning state.

By the way, @op come and update us on this matter.
Have you paid her dowry already or you fixed date?

Well first of all you have agreed to take responsibility of the kids as a nice man which you are.


Many men commenting on this thread throwing stones at you has impregnate few women out of wedlock,by which they refuse to take responsibility of the child.


Here you are wanting to take and accept the kids as a good hearted person.


My advise for you goes thus as a brother and an invisible friend,I will suggest you take the gal and marry her

Accept her and the kids.and I will tell you that the host or heaven will continue to bless you and make your ways prosperous.

Forget about your instincts which says you don’t wanna marry her lineage.

My guy one thing and one thing will surely starts from some where.

Marry the woman and breed her to your taste as a man,tell her what you like and what you don’t like am sure the girl as a simple will Adapt to your rules and regulations


Leaving her on the street and pay her off won’t solve the girl’s problems hence it will contribute to her future problem and she can run mental at the end.


My guy single woman are still looking for serious guys talk-less of after two.

Accept her and thank me after 2 years.


Any man who has not sin or run abortion for any girl in this life for once should insult me here on my comment.

God bless your pre-union.

Airtimex:
My bro. this anambra thing is not enough excuse....anambra is good for girlfriend but not for a wife

Marry the girl and turn her into what you want...You don't know tomorrow, she might turn out to be what you need...


Also think about the girl, getting married might be difficult for her. it shouldn't always be about You, don't be selfish plz

You said it right

You do not want to marry her

Yet you keep cuming over her

Is there sense in that my guy

After they will say one woman swear for them

CaesarDon:
sirdouglas pls and please never ever marry out of pity, trust me you would regret it


I for one don't like a lady that isn't very smart as I'd get bored and tired easily


Take care of the kids and don't forget to do DNA test,

Young man, stop deceiving yourself with this smart features, you keep mentioning for your type of ladies. When you marry one, and she played her smartness on you. I bet you will hate your guts. Besides, most.ladies you thought are smart become dummies immediately they are put in family way. They are mostly not homely. What they aught to learnt when single, they never did because they thought they are wise and smart. Hence when they start their own family come and see, mess. They become so broken immediately they have one or two kids. You will now start to ask where is all the smartness blablabla.

Young man, What you need is a woman of good character who is humble and ready to learn and you will have a blissful marital life. Even the bible never mentioned being smart as a characteristic of a godly woman. It mentioned good character and God fearing...

Dont get yourself deceived...please do yourself a favour, keep this piece for future reference. You know how to get in touch if you want to discuss this further. All the very best.

Most people here can't marry who they don't love

Dumb shits over her menh

geosegun:
Young man, stop deceiving yourself with this smart features, you keep mentioning for your type of ladies. When you marry one, and she played her smartness on you. I bet you will hate your guts. Besides, most.ladies you thought are smart become dummies immediately they are put in family way. They are mostly not homely. What they aught to learnt when single, they never did because they thought they are wise and smart. Hence when they start their own family come and see, mess. They become so broken immediately they have one or two kids. You will now start to ask where is all the smartness blablabla.

Young man, What you need is a woman of good character who is humble and ready to learn and you will have a blissful marital life. Even the bible never mentioned being smart as a characteristic of a godly woman. It mentioned good character and God fearing...

Dont get yourself deceived...please do yourself a favour, keep this piece for future reference. You know how to get in touch if you want to discuss this further. All the very best.

Old man I dunno why you'd get all worked up over my wants and desires, inasmuch as u raised some cogent points about humility, godfearing e.t.c, which of course are a necessity for my kind of woman, who says you have to trade off humility for smartness


If a lady isn't of a level of intellect, trust me, I'd get tired, and fed up, i know the way I'm wired na, coupled with the fact that I don't want dumbness in my kids DNA, why wouldn't i be confident to leave my woman to handle my affairs when I'm not present


In fact let me irk u a bit more, if a lady wasn't intelligent enough to make good grades in school, we cannot be an item talk less of getting married, Inasmuch as I cannot mould a lady a straightjacket of all my desires there some qualities I can not barter, smartness, humility and respect are way up on that list

The mistake(s) have been made.

The way out?? Marry her out of pity?? No sir..

Go and do the necessary things that are needed to be done if u want to claim the baby. I was once in your kind of situation but my saving grace is that the girl is from the North and I don't need to do anything to claim the baby (boy. He is 4years old). Seeing that you have claimed responsibility for her pregnancy.

Never you marry out of pity.. If you do, you will regret it all your life and you may even hate your kids...

Do the necessary things needed to be done by culture and tradition if u want to claim the babies..

Set her up with something.

Biblically, you don't marry cos of sin.. You are not supposed to marry her..

CaesarDon:
Old man I dunno why you'd get all worked up over my wants and desires, inasmuch as u raised some cogent points about humility, godfearing e.t.c, which of course are a necessity for my kind of woman, who says you have to trade off humility for smartness


If a lady isn't of a level of intellect, trust me, I'd get tired, and fed up, i know the way I'm wired na, coupled with the fact that I don't want dumbness in my kids DNA, why wouldn't i be confident to leave my woman to handle my affairs when I'm not present


In fact let me irk u a bit more, if a lady wasn't intelligent enough to make good grades in school, we cannot be an item talk less of getting married, Inasmuch as I cannot mould a lady a straightjacket of all my desires there some qualities I can not barter, smartness, humility and respect are way up on that list

I could see your way of thinking...

Young man, having a lower grade in school does not determines, smartness, and intelligence all in all. For the fact that some people can cram does not equate intelligence or smartness...nope. You got it wrong here. A lady/man' s performance at school level does not determines one's success or how he or she manages her homes/businesses etc.
You are getting it all wrong %100. Pray you don't come across a lady that is smart negatively. You dont want to have that experience. You will be played real hard and have your ass whipped horribly. Becareful what you wish/hope for...Just my 1 cent for you, young man.

daddytime:
Judging from your narrative, it is safe to say the young girl is a 'beauty without brains' whatever that means, and I'm sure her beauty was what got you hooked before you tasted the pie and subsequently realized she wasn't so smart.

Bro, I'm going to be straight up with you like I always do man...Selfish and self-centered is what you are (in bold).

You never hear say meat wey person no dey chop say him no suppose use teeth share am?

Oh because she was pretty, undemanding and mgbekeish, you decided to hold on to her, leading her on, and only started being honest to her about your plans when you had started making your travel plans and thus realized she'd be too local for your new status?

My bro, if that girl were my sister, and you had the effrontery to come to my house to spill what you just did here, you wouldn't have been able to use that visa of yours, and I'd have personally aborted the pregnancy with my bare hands. What insult.

If she's not good enough for you to wife, she shouldn't have been good enough for you to dickk and of course mother your baby(s).

This is even worse than a baby mama thingy, this is a baby factory one.

All the story about you making it clear to her that you won't be marrying her are just some cunning silly afterthoughts of a chronic user who had a game plan from the get-go.

There's something I'll tell you now if you like take am if you no like leave am.

I just hope and pray you won't come back looking for and begging this lady in the future and by what time it'd have been late already because you'd pay for your bid to selfishly destroy this young girl's life and dump her. For whom I ask after one o'clock?

Look around you and you'd find examples of cases like this where the man would come begging after years when his recompense would have been served steamy hot.

You no see GEJ and PEJ? How you see dem upon say PEJ dey break bottle with English?

You had better retraced your step, my friend, learn to love that babe, marry her and start a family with her or else you go regret am o.

Forget all these your later later excuses abeg

NB

I am sharing the story below as a result of the op's and his ilks unruly attack on me and my submission just to make them see life from a different perspective and understand from what point my advise was made...


Growing up in the standard Lagos face me I slap you setting in Mafoluku Oshodi when the Military boys held sway in Nigeria, most of the matures here or history savvy's would understand how hopeless and depressing the economy and general standard of living was at this time.

Now, daddy and mummy had chosen to manufacture 11 of us as kids, and I'd be saddled with the onerous task of being the Nigerian "first son" with loads of expectation from me on finding a way to alleviate the family's situation and by extension better the lots of kids I had been brought into the world with at my parents behest and not because I had chosen to come to them.

You can at best imagine daddy, mum, we the kids and a cousin living with us then having to jostle for a space in two-room living space from a sixteen-room face me I face you living set up.

Not able to wrap my mind around the kind of life I had been born into and in the quest to better mine and my family's lot, I decided I was going to quit school, find a way to travel abroad, and go hustle for my family.

Before then, a bachelor neighbor Oli, had chosen our house as the only trusted one where he could drop his keys because he lived with his boys/friends who were all traders at Idumota.

There was one of his roomies who was in his 40's then (Ikenna), he was always ever the last to leave home and would, as usual, drop their key at mine.

My immediate younger sister (Mary) had just finished high school, naive and still a virgin, she'd naturally be at home most times.

In the midst of all these, I had found out I could risk my life through the desert in search of a better life abroad, after all how I want to take get a visa, and if I die, I die but I had decided I'd rather die trying instead of sitting, watching my family ravaged by poverty and still die. All die na die I had told my young self.

Got myself prepped, lied to my dad and made him raise me some little cash, and into the desert, I proceeded.

For two whole years, I had languished on the road and was only able to communicate with my family only after about 6 months of living home. For sure they'd thought I had gone back to my maker.

After the two unforgettable years of languishing on the road, I had succeeded into Spain eventually, called up daddy to break the news to him, he didn't quite believe me. Note that this was before the era of mobile phones in Nigeria. Sensing that daddy was having a hard time believing I was in Spain finally, I had dropped the line, did a western union money transfer from the locotorium I was calling from, called him back and furnished him with the transfer details.

Then and only then was I able to convince daddy otherwise.

And then, keeping to my nomadic and adventurous lifestyle, I had proceeded on to move on to the Netherlands to go tell the authorities there how I and my friendly 'horse' on whose back I had ridden to Europe were the only ones surviving from my little village in Delta, hence my request to seek asylum in their country.

Luckily for me, I had succeeded in convincing them to allow me to stay in the Netherlands and would be given a weekly stipend as pocket money back then in camp. From this money I'd call home on weekends, talk to my family and always assured my other siblings that I'd make sure they had the best education having slaughtered mine on the altar of "I wan bail family out".

During one of such weekend calls, after the usual pleasantries exchanged, daddy had told me in a stutter....

" Mary, your younger sister fell pregnant and now has a daughter"...

Ah ah... I had muttered in obvious instant deflation plus disappointment, but I had refused to get angry, judge my sister or castigate her.

I asked daddy, how, when and by whom...


Still stuttering, he had told me it was like a month after I had left Nigeria, she initially wasn't forthcoming with who was responsible, how it had brought shame to the family which I could imagine knowing how our neighbors were, and how even some people had been insinuating that daddy who was a deeper life pastor might be responsible because no one could make a sense of how Mary who was a home girl could fall pregnant. The whole matter weak me like dodo, but I listened with rapt attention anyways.

And then, daddy said she later confessed that Ikenna, who we called Brother Ikenna was responsible. He had denied responsibility but when my battalion siblings faced him, he had accepted responsibility with zero plans to marry her just like this op.

I told dad how disappointed I was, and how angry I am that they had kept it away from me for that long, told them not to worry that I'd take care of my sister and the kid and hung up.

Fast forward to 2008 when I visited Nigeria, the baby Vic had grown, obviously abandoned with my family. She'd grown up to see my mum as hers and Mary as aunty Mary until recently.

Levels had changed, I had improved my family's situation, built them a house in Lagos, Ikenna gone with the wind, and would soon resurface looking for daddy's number and whoever could point him on how to locate my family.

By this time he should be in his 50s, no life, wife or any other kid. Come and see abeg.


My phone would go bellowing one day, upon picking up, the voice at the other end had been subtle and subdued with a "good afternoon sir, na me Ikenna"...

Ah ah..bwoda Ikenna, na me you dey call sir?

He went on, abeg no vex for wetin happen I know say I Bleep up...wetIn i wan tell bwoda Ikenna after how many years... I simply dropped the call.. I no fit shout.

The long and short of it all is that, today over 20 years later...

Brother Ikenna's life is nothing to write home about.

Mary, my younger sister is today happily married and would soon be one of the youngest grandmas because Vicky, the kid in question had grown into a very beautiful young promising graduate.

Some men don't understand life I have friends with such experiences the Bible is truly complete better is the end of a matter than it begging

Do to others what y

Do to others what you want them to do to you remember you have sister's if you don't have sister's you would eventually have daughters be wise

TanyLoe:
Well I can't judge you.
My ex broke up with me because he said he can't marry outside his trip (IMO state).
You would have told her earlier that you won't marry her and then get lots of condoms..what if after all this, your indeed the father?
But it's wrong to date someone when you no you can't marry them.

you should understand that not every relationships must lead to marriage.

dingbang:
you should understand that not every relationships must lead to marriage.

When such happen to your sisters or daughters. Come here and type this...

daddytime:
Judging from your narrative, it is safe to say the young girl is a 'beauty without brains' whatever that means, and I'm sure her beauty was what got you hooked before you tasted the pie and subsequently realized she wasn't so smart.

Bro, I'm going to be straight up with you like I always do man...Selfish and self-centered is what you are (in bold).

You never hear say meat wey person no dey chop say him no suppose use teeth share am?

Oh because she was pretty, undemanding and mgbekeish, you decided to hold on to her, leading her on, and only started being honest to her about your plans when you had started making your travel plans and thus realized she'd be too local for your new status?

My bro, if that girl were my sister, and you had the effrontery to come to my house to spill what you just did here, you wouldn't have been able to use that visa of yours, and I'd have personally aborted the pregnancy with my bare hands. What insult.

If she's not good enough for you to wife, she shouldn't have been good enough for you to dickk and of course mother your baby(s).

This is even worse than a baby mama thingy, this is a baby factory one.

All the story about you making it clear to her that you won't be marrying her are just some cunning silly afterthoughts of a chronic user who had a game plan from the get-go.

There's something I'll tell you now if you like take am if you no like leave am.

I just hope and pray you won't come back looking for and begging this lady in the future and by what time it'd have been late already because you'd pay for your bid to selfishly destroy this young girl's life and dump her. For whom I ask after one o'clock?

Look around you and you'd find examples of cases like this where the man would come begging after years when his recompense would have been served steamy hot.

You no see GEJ and PEJ? How you see dem upon say PEJ dey break bottle with English?

You had better retraced your step, my friend, learn to love that babe, marry her and start a family with her or else you go regret am o.

Forget all these your later later excuses abeg

NB

I am sharing the story below as a result of the op's and his ilks unruly attack on me and my submission just to make them see life from a different perspective and understand from what point my advise was made...


Growing up in the standard Lagos face me I slap you setting in Mafoluku Oshodi when the Military boys held sway in Nigeria, most of the matures here or history savvy's would understand how hopeless and depressing the economy and general standard of living was at this time.

Now, daddy and mummy had chosen to manufacture 11 of us as kids, and I'd be saddled with the onerous task of being the Nigerian "first son" with loads of expectation from me on finding a way to alleviate the family's situation and by extension better the lots of kids I had been brought into the world with at my parents behest and not because I had chosen to come to them.

You can at best imagine daddy, mum, we the kids and a cousin living with us then having to jostle for a space in two-room living space from a sixteen-room face me I face you living set up.

Not able to wrap my mind around the kind of life I had been born into and in the quest to better mine and my family's lot, I decided I was going to quit school, find a way to travel abroad, and go hustle for my family.

Before then, a bachelor neighbor Oli, had chosen our house as the only trusted one where he could drop his keys because he lived with his boys/friends who were all traders at Idumota.

There was one of his roomies who was in his 40's then (Ikenna), he was always ever the last to leave home and would, as usual, drop their key at mine.

My immediate younger sister (Mary) had just finished high school, naive and still a virgin, she'd naturally be at home most times.

In the midst of all these, I had found out I could risk my life through the desert in search of a better life abroad, after all how I want to take get a visa, and if I die, I die but I had decided I'd rather die trying instead of sitting, watching my family ravaged by poverty and still die. All die na die I had told my young self.

Got myself prepped, lied to my dad and made him raise me some little cash, and into the desert, I proceeded.

For two whole years, I had languished on the road and was only able to communicate with my family only after about 6 months of living home. For sure they'd thought I had gone back to my maker.

After the two unforgettable years of languishing on the road, I had succeeded into Spain eventually, called up daddy to break the news to him, he didn't quite believe me. Note that this was before the era of mobile phones in Nigeria. Sensing that daddy was having a hard time believing I was in Spain finally, I had dropped the line, did a western union money transfer from the locotorium I was calling from, called him back and furnished him with the transfer details.

Then and only then was I able to convince daddy otherwise.

And then, keeping to my nomadic and adventurous lifestyle, I had proceeded on to move on to the Netherlands to go tell the authorities there how I and my friendly 'horse' on whose back I had ridden to Europe were the only ones surviving from my little village in Delta, hence my request to seek asylum in their country.

Luckily for me, I had succeeded in convincing them to allow me to stay in the Netherlands and would be given a weekly stipend as pocket money back then in camp. From this money I'd call home on weekends, talk to my family and always assured my other siblings that I'd make sure they had the best education having slaughtered mine on the altar of "I wan bail family out".

During one of such weekend calls, after the usual pleasantries exchanged, daddy had told me in a stutter....

" Mary, your younger sister fell pregnant and now has a daughter"...

Ah ah... I had muttered in obvious instant deflation plus disappointment, but I had refused to get angry, judge my sister or castigate her.

I asked daddy, how, when and by whom...


Still stuttering, he had told me it was like a month after I had left Nigeria, she initially wasn't forthcoming with who was responsible, how it had brought shame to the family which I could imagine knowing how our neighbors were, and how even some people had been insinuating that daddy who was a deeper life pastor might be responsible because no one could make a sense of how Mary who was a home girl could fall pregnant. The whole matter weak me like dodo, but I listened with rapt attention anyways.

And then, daddy said she later confessed that Ikenna, who we called Brother Ikenna was responsible. He had denied responsibility but when my battalion siblings faced him, he had accepted responsibility with zero plans to marry her just like this op.

I told dad how disappointed I was, and how angry I am that they had kept it away from me for that long, told them not to worry that I'd take care of my sister and the kid and hung up.

Fast forward to 2008 when I visited Nigeria, the baby Vic had grown, obviously abandoned with my family. She'd grown up to see my mum as hers and Mary as aunty Mary until recently.

Levels had changed, I had improved my family's situation, built them a house in Lagos, Ikenna gone with the wind, and would soon resurface looking for daddy's number and whoever could point him on how to locate my family.

By this time he should be in his 50s, no life, wife or any other kid. Come and see abeg.


My phone would go bellowing one day, upon picking up, the voice at the other end had been subtle and subdued with a "good afternoon sir, na me Ikenna"...

Ah ah..bwoda Ikenna, na me you dey call sir?

He went on, abeg no vex for wetin happen I know say I Bleep up...wetIn i wan tell bwoda Ikenna after how many years... I simply dropped the call.. I no fit shout.

The long and short of it all is that, today over 20 years later...

Brother Ikenna's life is nothing to write home about.

Mary, my younger sister is today happily married and would soon be one of the youngest grandmas because Vicky, the kid in question had grown into a very beautiful young promising graduate.

Sir, I just read the most inspiring piece on Nairaland today, I mean this little story of yours. Much respect sir and thank you for sharing with us. Stay blessed.

TanyLoe:
Well I can't judge you.
My ex broke up with me because he said he can't marry outside his trip (IMO state).
You would have told her earlier that you won't marry her and then get lots of condoms..what if after all this, your indeed the father?
But it's wrong to date someone when you no you can't marry them.

where u from darling?

Jeez...!

Has she given birth, what has the experience been so far, plus give us update

Please make her and the children comfortable first no matter what

Well I can't say you should leave her or marry her, that decision is yours

you wan go for omugwo

mannasseh:
Has she given birth, what has the experience been so far, plus give us update