₦airaland Forum

hurthubby:
My story is too long but let me try to summarize everything.

(I have been a member of Nairaland since 2009, but i just created this account to hide my identity)

I got married in the year 2000 and wedded in Dec 2001. Before the actual wedding, my wife got a job in Abuja, where she stayed for one year before our wedding and her joining me in Ibadan. During the cause of that year, i have a friend who stays in Abuja that knows my wife very well, who reported about my wife's infidelity to me then, though i ignored it.

In the year 2005, my wife confessed to me that she committed adultery after our wedding. (She was actually about 2 months pregnant in Feb 2002 when she sought my permission to visit her sister in Lagos. I never knew that she actually visited one of her old boy friends and spent 2 days with him).

I was down cast for some days when i heard her confession before i got back myself and forgave and forgot everything.

She later got a job which made her travel often, sometimes spending weeks outside but i never suspected anything even though her boss, (A lady) called me several times to complain about my wife's behavior, which is contrary to that of a married woman but i didn't take her serious because my wife always complained of the harshness of the woman. She later lost the job and joined me in my business, but always going to Lagos to buy jewelry, which she sells in Ibadan.

In the year 2014, i got some texts from a concerned fellow about how my wife have been sleeping with his neighbor for over 2 years in Lagos. It happens that the fellow knows us very well and didn't want to cause any problem in our marriage but the the acts became too much, he had to let me know. When i confronted my wife with all the evidence and some dates, she owned up and pleaded for forgiveness. She confessed that the affair started when she was working for the lady i mentioned earlier and anytime she travels to Lagos for her jewelry business, she always go and sleep with the man. She promised to turn a new leaf.

In the year 2018, i discovered that she had been communicating with the same man, to the extent that he even knew that my wife traveled to Owerri for a wedding. I discovered that they had reconnected back and chats always. When i confronted my wife, she said that they have nothing, just chats, which i made her to stop (I don't know if they actually stopped).

Before i married her, a man actually dumped her and married her friend, 6 years earlier. The next boy friend left her and traveled abroad for over 2 years, without any communication (before i met and married her) but unfortunately, it didn't work out for him and he came back and discovered that shes married. He started pestering her,pretending that he wanted to marry her, that he traveled to make money for both of them, but been that she's already married, she introduced the man to her cousin and he married the cousin.

Now the issue is that my wife is flirting with her former boyfriends, sending pornographic pictures and nude pictures with dirty chats. I used to monitor her chat but to save myself from HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, i stopped checking her phone.

My wife even told the one that dumped her for her friend that she still loves him so much. She also tells the one that married her cousin the same thing and regrets that distance is so much between them. (The one that married the cousin is based in Kano while the one that married her friend is based in Abuja) Whenever i confront her, she will deny anything serious but when she sees my evidence, she will beg for forgiveness. My business is down and she provides about 70% of the house up keep (She is a teacher). We have 4 children, the eldest being 17. I have been trying to sell my house or land to reestablish my business but it has not been easy. My wife now does as she like, even having male friends here in Ibadan and keeps too much secret? What should i do.

I know this is long, but its just a summary. Forgive any typo.

hurthubby:
My story is too long but let me try to summarize everything.

(I have been a member of Nairaland since 2009, but i just created this account to hide my identity)

I got married in the year 2000 and wedded in Dec 2001. Before the actual wedding, my wife got a job in Abuja, where she stayed for one year before our wedding and her joining me in Ibadan. During the cause of that year, i have a friend who stays in Abuja that knows my wife very well, who reported about my wife's infidelity to me then, though i ignored it.

In the year 2005, my wife confessed to me that she committed adultery after our wedding. (She was actually about 2 months pregnant in Feb 2002 when she sought my permission to visit her sister in Lagos. I never knew that she actually visited one of her old boy friends and spent 2 days with him).

I was down cast for some days when i heard her confession before i got back myself and forgave and forgot everything.

She later got a job which made her travel often, sometimes spending weeks outside but i never suspected anything even though her boss, (A lady) called me several times to complain about my wife's behavior, which is contrary to that of a married woman but i didn't take her serious because my wife always complained of the harshness of the woman. She later lost the job and joined me in my business, but always going to Lagos to buy jewelry, which she sells in Ibadan.

In the year 2014, i got some texts from a concerned fellow about how my wife have been sleeping with his neighbor for over 2 years in Lagos. It happens that the fellow knows us very well and didn't want to cause any problem in our marriage but the the acts became too much, he had to let me know. When i confronted my wife with all the evidence and some dates, she owned up and pleaded for forgiveness. She confessed that the affair started when she was working for the lady i mentioned earlier and anytime she travels to Lagos for her jewelry business, she always go and sleep with the man. She promised to turn a new leaf.

In the year 2018, i discovered that she had been communicating with the same man, to the extent that he even knew that my wife traveled to Owerri for a wedding. I discovered that they had reconnected back and chats always. When i confronted my wife, she said that they have nothing, just chats, which i made her to stop (I don't know if they actually stopped).

Before i married her, a man actually dumped her and married her friend, 6 years earlier. The next boy friend left her and traveled abroad for over 2 years, without any communication (before i met and married her) but unfortunately, it didn't work out for him and he came back and discovered that shes married. He started pestering her,pretending that he wanted to marry her, that he traveled to make money for both of them, but been that she's already married, she introduced the man to her cousin and he married the cousin.

Now the issue is that my wife is flirting with her former boyfriends, sending pornographic pictures and nude pictures with dirty chats. I used to monitor her chat but to save myself from HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, i stopped checking her phone.

My wife even told the one that dumped her for her friend that she still loves him so much. She also tells the one that married her cousin the same thing and regrets that distance is so much between them. (The one that married the cousin is based in Kano while the one that married her friend is based in Abuja) Whenever i confront her, she will deny anything serious but when she sees my evidence, she will beg for forgiveness. My business is down and she provides about 70% of the house up keep (She is a teacher). We have 4 children, the eldest being 17. I have been trying to sell my house or land to reestablish my business but it has not been easy. My wife now does as she like, even having male friends here in Ibadan and keeps too much secret? What should i do.

I know this is long, but its just a summary. Forgive any typo.

hurthubby:
My story is too long but let me try to summarize everything.

(I have been a member of Nairaland since 2009, but i just created this account to hide my identity)

I got married in the year 2000 and wedded in Dec 2001. Before the actual wedding, my wife got a job in Abuja, where she stayed for one year before our wedding and her joining me in Ibadan. During the cause of that year, i have a friend who stays in Abuja that knows my wife very well, who reported about my wife's infidelity to me then, though i ignored it.

In the year 2005, my wife confessed to me that she committed adultery after our wedding. (She was actually about 2 months pregnant in Feb 2002 when she sought my permission to visit her sister in Lagos. I never knew that she actually visited one of her old boy friends and spent 2 days with him).

I was down cast for some days when i heard her confession before i got back myself and forgave and forgot everything.

She later got a job which made her travel often, sometimes spending weeks outside but i never suspected anything even though her boss, (A lady) called me several times to complain about my wife's behavior, which is contrary to that of a married woman but i didn't take her serious because my wife always complained of the harshness of the woman. She later lost the job and joined me in my business, but always going to Lagos to buy jewelry, which she sells in Ibadan.

In the year 2014, i got some texts from a concerned fellow about how my wife have been sleeping with his neighbor for over 2 years in Lagos. It happens that the fellow knows us very well and didn't want to cause any problem in our marriage but the the acts became too much, he had to let me know. When i confronted my wife with all the evidence and some dates, she owned up and pleaded for forgiveness. She confessed that the affair started when she was working for the lady i mentioned earlier and anytime she travels to Lagos for her jewelry business, she always go and sleep with the man. She promised to turn a new leaf.

In the year 2018, i discovered that she had been communicating with the same man, to the extent that he even knew that my wife traveled to Owerri for a wedding. I discovered that they had reconnected back and chats always. When i confronted my wife, she said that they have nothing, just chats, which i made her to stop (I don't know if they actually stopped).

Before i married her, a man actually dumped her and married her friend, 6 years earlier. The next boy friend left her and traveled abroad for over 2 years, without any communication (before i met and married her) but unfortunately, it didn't work out for him and he came back and discovered that shes married. He started pestering her,pretending that he wanted to marry her, that he traveled to make money for both of them, but been that she's already married, she introduced the man to her cousin and he married the cousin.

Now the issue is that my wife is flirting with her former boyfriends, sending pornographic pictures and nude pictures with dirty chats. I used to monitor her chat but to save myself from HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, i stopped checking her phone.

My wife even told the one that dumped her for her friend that she still loves him so much. She also tells the one that married her cousin the same thing and regrets that distance is so much between them. (The one that married the cousin is based in Kano while the one that married her friend is based in Abuja) Whenever i confront her, she will deny anything serious but when she sees my evidence, she will beg for forgiveness. My business is down and she provides about 70% of the house up keep (She is a teacher). We have 4 children, the eldest being 17. I have been trying to sell my house or land to reestablish my business but it has not been easy. My wife now does as she like, even having male friends here in Ibadan and keeps too much secret? What should i do.

I know this is long, but its just a summary. Forgive any typo.

pocohantas:
Forgive her.

Women are polygamous in nature.

Don't allow those men win, she is your wife...they are the intruders.

Just focus on your children, she'll definitely get tired and come back to you. They always do...

Always remember, God hates divorce.
I wish you strength.

Safitu:
The man is not under any spell. The reality is that a lot of men endure cheating from their wives contrary to what you read on social media. Do you know what marriage entails? It’s not just a ceremony, it’s a physical and spiritual bonding, a soul tie that becomes extremely difficult to get out of, especially after many years and reproducing together. It just takes a lot of strength and grace to walk out. A lot of men do not come out to confess the problems their wives put on them because it’s a huge dent to their ego. Just pray that you marry a virtuous woman because it’s not easy.

JudgeOGBUNABALI:
Well, this is my 7th yr of marriage. My main problem with man and woman is not cheating but disrespect. And cheating even comes under disrespect. I don't play with respect. I give it to people and demand 110% reciprocation.
Dude here has no respect for himself. So am sure nothing, not even his children will respect him. Not to talk of the so called wife and her bonobo friends. You see, my wife, my inlaws, my siblings knows I can kill demanding respect. So nobody crosses that line. You want to mess around? First quit the marriage. Otherwise the day I find you out. There'd be double funeral and nobody will know who is responsible. My respect is more important than any blood!
That's why I wish to encounter this louse called Op. The wimp seriously need some whip

hurthubby:
My story is too long but let me try to summarize everything.

(I have been a member of Nairaland since 2009, but i just created this account to hide my identity)

I got married in the year 2000 and wedded in Dec 2001. Before the actual wedding, my wife got a job in Abuja, where she stayed for one year before our wedding and her joining me in Ibadan. During the cause of that year, i have a friend who stays in Abuja that knows my wife very well, who reported about my wife's infidelity to me then, though i ignored it.

In the year 2005, my wife confessed to me that she committed adultery after our wedding. (She was actually about 2 months pregnant in Feb 2002 when she sought my permission to visit her sister in Lagos. I never knew that she actually visited one of her old boy friends and spent 2 days with him).

I was down cast for some days when i heard her confession before i got back myself and forgave and forgot everything.

She later got a job which made her travel often, sometimes spending weeks outside but i never suspected anything even though her boss, (A lady) called me several times to complain about my wife's behavior, which is contrary to that of a married woman but i didn't take her serious because my wife always complained of the harshness of the woman. She later lost the job and joined me in my business, but always going to Lagos to buy jewelry, which she sells in Ibadan.

In the year 2014, i got some texts from a concerned fellow about how my wife have been sleeping with his neighbor for over 2 years in Lagos. It happens that the fellow knows us very well and didn't want to cause any problem in our marriage but the the acts became too much, he had to let me know. When i confronted my wife with all the evidence and some dates, she owned up and pleaded for forgiveness. She confessed that the affair started when she was working for the lady i mentioned earlier and anytime she travels to Lagos for her jewelry business, she always go and sleep with the man. She promised to turn a new leaf.

In the year 2018, i discovered that she had been communicating with the same man, to the extent that he even knew that my wife traveled to Owerri for a wedding. I discovered that they had reconnected back and chats always. When i confronted my wife, she said that they have nothing, just chats, which i made her to stop (I don't know if they actually stopped).

Before i married her, a man actually dumped her and married her friend, 6 years earlier. The next boy friend left her and traveled abroad for over 2 years, without any communication (before i met and married her) but unfortunately, it didn't work out for him and he came back and discovered that shes married. He started pestering her,pretending that he wanted to marry her, that he traveled to make money for both of them, but been that she's already married, she introduced the man to her cousin and he married the cousin.

Now the issue is that my wife is flirting with her former boyfriends, sending pornographic pictures and nude pictures with dirty chats. I used to monitor her chat but to save myself from HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, i stopped checking her phone.

My wife even told the one that dumped her for her friend that she still loves him so much. She also tells the one that married her cousin the same thing and regrets that distance is so much between them. (The one that married the cousin is based in Kano while the one that married her friend is based in Abuja) Whenever i confront her, she will deny anything serious but when she sees my evidence, she will beg for forgiveness. My business is down and she provides about 70% of the house up keep (She is a teacher). We have 4 children, the eldest being 17. I have been trying to sell my house or land to reestablish my business but it has not been easy. My wife now does as she like, even having male friends here in Ibadan and keeps too much secret? What should i do.

I know this is long, but its just a summary. Forgive any typo.

olumalcolm:
Uncle send her out of the house, sell one of ur lands, add the proceeds to ur biz and wrk hard to raise enof money for DNA test. She has more dan enof guys in her life, i am pretty sure she has a younger marafvcker in ur neighbourhood also greasing her engine so u beta ler her go except u wnt to die young. Also ur first born is which gender cos if ur first born is a girl, @ 17, she wuld knw alil about her mothers runs except she is not close to her mum, so she will understand the reasons for ur actions better.

Kingosytex:


If after all these things happened you still can't take a tangible decision, it means that you are even more gullible than Timi Dakolo and your wife will always capitalise on that fact to manipulate you till thy kingdom come, can't you see she is using your brain to play bet9ja? ...Sorry for the harsh words but i just had to pour out my mind.


In your wife is the deadly combo of cheating, lying, deceit, nudist and promiscuity. Oga, you have a very big problem. Your wife has cheated and lied to you on many occasions yet you forgave her, i must commend you for that because it is only few men that can tolerate such excesses to the level you tolerated. I dislike liars with passion and i absolutely have no second chance to offer them.


Your wife is a perfect example that Okafor's law works. I will suggest you meet your in laws and table the matter before them though i don't believe anything positive will come out of such meeting, but you have to do that for the sake of formality. I advice you to break free from her bondage, send her away, divorce her. She is a cheat and she can't change. A leopard can't change its spots, Buhari is a perfect example about that. Your wife is prepared to ruin your life, she is willing to steal your joy and happiness and she might send you to your early grave.


Remember she has nothing to lose. If you die, she will move on with her lovers. Lastly, make sure you run a DNA test on those children to determine their paternity. Don't even think of selling your house, i advise you sell the undeveloped plots instead and grow your business. I believe you will overcome, i wish you good luck!

Hoodbilonia:
She has put sometin in her kpekus
U cant leave her
I have one bich like dat
The moment she remembers me
She starts begging,kneeling down
Story
I juz fuckkk and move ahead
No time to waste with the enemy

Kingosytex:


If after all these things happened you still can't take a tangible decision, it means that you are even more gullible than Timi Dakolo and your wife will always capitalise on that fact to manipulate you till thy kingdom come, can't you see she is using your brain to play bet9ja? ...Sorry for the harsh words but i just had to pour out my mind.


In your wife is the deadly combo of cheating, lying, deceit, nudist and promiscuity. Oga, you have a very big problem. Your wife has cheated and lied to you on many occasions yet you forgave her, i must commend you for that because it is only few men that can tolerate such excesses to the level you tolerated. I dislike liars with passion and i absolutely have no second chance to offer them.


Your wife is a perfect example that Okafor's law works. I will suggest you meet your in laws and table the matter before them though i don't believe anything positive will come out of such meeting, but you have to do that for the sake of formality. I advice you to break free from her bondage, send her away, divorce her. She is a cheat and she can't change. A leopard can't change its spots, Buhari is a perfect example about that. Your wife is prepared to ruin your life, she is willing to steal your joy and happiness and she might send you to your early grave.


Remember she has nothing to lose. If you die, she will move on with her lovers. Lastly, make sure you run a DNA test on those children to determine their paternity. Don't even think of selling your house, i advise you sell the undeveloped plots instead and grow your business. I believe you will overcome, i wish you good luck!

Damiflow:
bro u say it all why will a man be so calm and dull to this extend,
Oga u better divorce her before she kill you
And the DNA is very important

JONNYSPUTE:
This is the most foolish topic I ve come across on this forum. I don't waste my advise on people like the op.Only a mad person sees danger and enters it,so my conclusion is that the op is.....

JONNYSPUTE:
This is the most foolish topic I ve come across on this forum. I don't waste my advise on people like the op.Only a mad person sees danger and enters it,so my conclusion is that the op is.....

pocohantas:
Forgive her.

Women are polygamous in nature.

Don't allow those men win, she is your wife...they are the intruders.

Just focus on your children, she'll definitely get tired and come back to you. They always do...

Always remember, God hates divorce.
I wish you strength.

Isabellah:
Nigerian parents don't get enough credit. Most of them deserve endless praise and commendation for raising kids in a country bedeviled by economic hardship. Most people are not perfect, but I celebrate my parents everyday. I hope yours are worthy of celebration too.

Kingosytex:


If after all these things happened you still can't take a tangible decision, it means that you are even more gullible than Timi Dakolo and your wife will always capitalise on that fact to manipulate you till thy kingdom come, can't you see she is using your brain to play bet9ja? ...Sorry for the harsh words but i just had to pour out my mind.


In your wife is the deadly combo of cheating, lying, deceit, nudist and promiscuity. Oga, you have a very big problem. Your wife has cheated and lied to you on many occasions yet you forgave her, i must commend you for that because it is only few men that can tolerate such excesses to the level you tolerated. I dislike liars with passion and i absolutely have no second chance to offer them.


Your wife is a perfect example that Okafor's law works. I will suggest you meet your in laws and table the matter before them though i don't believe anything positive will come out of such meeting, but you have to do that for the sake of formality. I advice you to break free from her bondage, send her away, divorce her. She is a cheat and she can't change. A leopard can't change its spots, Buhari is a perfect example about that. Your wife is prepared to ruin your life, she is willing to steal your joy and happiness and she might send you to your early grave.


Remember she has nothing to lose. If you die, she will move on with her lovers. Lastly, make sure you run a DNA test on those children to determine their paternity. Don't even think of selling your house, i advise you sell the undeveloped plots instead and grow your business. I believe you will overcome, i wish you good luck!

hurthubby:
My story is too long but let me try to summarize everything.

(I have been a member of Nairaland since 2009, but i just created this account to hide my identity)



I know this is long, but its just a summary. Forgive any typo.

hurthubby:
My story is too long but let me try to summarize everything.

(I have been a member of Nairaland since 2009, but i just created this account to hide my identity)

I got married in the year 2000 and wedded in Dec 2001. Before the actual wedding, my wife got a job in Abuja, where she stayed for one year before our wedding and her joining me in Ibadan. During the cause of that year, i have a friend who stays in Abuja that knows my wife very well, who reported about my wife's infidelity to me then, though i ignored it.

In the year 2005, my wife confessed to me that she committed adultery after our wedding. (She was actually about 2 months pregnant in Feb 2002 when she sought my permission to visit her sister in Lagos. I never knew that she actually visited one of her old boy friends and spent 2 days with him).

I was down cast for some days when i heard her confession before i got back myself and forgave and forgot everything.

She later got a job which made her travel often, sometimes spending weeks outside but i never suspected anything even though her boss, (A lady) called me several times to complain about my wife's behavior, which is contrary to that of a married woman but i didn't take her serious because my wife always complained of the harshness of the woman. She later lost the job and joined me in my business, but always going to Lagos to buy jewelry, which she sells in Ibadan.

In the year 2014, i got some texts from a concerned fellow about how my wife have been sleeping with his neighbor for over 2 years in Lagos. It happens that the fellow knows us very well and didn't want to cause any problem in our marriage but the the acts became too much, he had to let me know. When i confronted my wife with all the evidence and some dates, she owned up and pleaded for forgiveness. She confessed that the affair started when she was working for the lady i mentioned earlier and anytime she travels to Lagos for her jewelry business, she always go and sleep with the man. She promised to turn a new leaf.

In the year 2018, i discovered that she had been communicating with the same man, to the extent that he even knew that my wife traveled to Owerri for a wedding. I discovered that they had reconnected back and chats always. When i confronted my wife, she said that they have nothing, just chats, which i made her to stop (I don't know if they actually stopped).

Before i married her, a man actually dumped her and married her friend, 6 years earlier. The next boy friend left her and traveled abroad for over 2 years, without any communication (before i met and married her) but unfortunately, it didn't work out for him and he came back and discovered that shes married. He started pestering her,pretending that he wanted to marry her, that he traveled to make money for both of them, but been that she's already married, she introduced the man to her cousin and he married the cousin.

Now the issue is that my wife is flirting with her former boyfriends, sending pornographic pictures and nude pictures with dirty chats. I used to monitor her chat but to save myself from HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, i stopped checking her phone.

My wife even told the one that dumped her for her friend that she still loves him so much. She also tells the one that married her cousin the same thing and regrets that distance is so much between them. (The one that married the cousin is based in Kano while the one that married her friend is based in Abuja) Whenever i confront her, she will deny anything serious but when she sees my evidence, she will beg for forgiveness. My business is down and she provides about 70% of the house up keep (She is a teacher). We have 4 children, the eldest being 17. I have been trying to sell my house or land to reestablish my business but it has not been easy. My wife now does as she like, even having male friends here in Ibadan and keeps too much secret? What should i do.

I know this is long, but its just a summary. Forgive any typo.