₦airaland Forum

zeb04:
so right now you are cheating on her too.

She is cheating, you are also cheating so what else do you want?

If she stops cheating, it is very unlikely that you would too so?

hurthubby:
Thanks. Her parents are dead, and capitalises on it all the time, telling me to remember that she's an orphan.

hurthubby:
My story is too long but let me try to summarize everything.

(I have been a member of Nairaland since 2009, but i just created this account to hide my identity)

I got married in the year 2000 and wedded in Dec 2001. Before the actual wedding, my wife got a job in Abuja, where she stayed for one year before our wedding and her joining me in Ibadan. During the cause of that year, i have a friend who stays in Abuja that knows my wife very well, who reported about my wife's infidelity to me then, though i ignored it.

In the year 2005, my wife confessed to me that she committed adultery after our wedding. (She was actually about 2 months pregnant in Feb 2002 when she sought my permission to visit her sister in Lagos. I never knew that she actually visited one of her old boy friends and spent 2 days with him).

I was down cast for some days when i heard her confession before i got back myself and forgave and forgot everything.

She later got a job which made her travel often, sometimes spending weeks outside but i never suspected anything even though her boss, (A lady) called me several times to complain about my wife's behavior, which is contrary to that of a married woman but i didn't take her serious because my wife always complained of the harshness of the woman. She later lost the job and joined me in my business, but always going to Lagos to buy jewelry, which she sells in Ibadan.

In the year 2014, i got some texts from a concerned fellow about how my wife have been sleeping with his neighbor for over 2 years in Lagos. It happens that the fellow knows us very well and didn't want to cause any problem in our marriage but the the acts became too much, he had to let me know. When i confronted my wife with all the evidence and some dates, she owned up and pleaded for forgiveness. She confessed that the affair started when she was working for the lady i mentioned earlier and anytime she travels to Lagos for her jewelry business, she always go and sleep with the man. She promised to turn a new leaf.

In the year 2018, i discovered that she had been communicating with the same man, to the extent that he even knew that my wife traveled to Owerri for a wedding. I discovered that they had reconnected back and chats always. When i confronted my wife, she said that they have nothing, just chats, which i made her to stop (I don't know if they actually stopped).

Before i married her, a man actually dumped her and married her friend, 6 years earlier. The next boy friend left her and traveled abroad for over 2 years, without any communication (before i met and married her) but unfortunately, it didn't work out for him and he came back and discovered that shes married. He started pestering her,pretending that he wanted to marry her, that he traveled to make money for both of them, but been that she's already married, she introduced the man to her cousin and he married the cousin.

Now the issue is that my wife is flirting with her former boyfriends, sending pornographic pictures and nude pictures with dirty chats. I used to monitor her chat but to save myself from HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, i stopped checking her phone.

My wife even told the one that dumped her for her friend that she still loves him so much. She also tells the one that married her cousin the same thing and regrets that distance is so much between them. (The one that married the cousin is based in Kano while the one that married her friend is based in Abuja) Whenever i confront her, she will deny anything serious but when she sees my evidence, she will beg for forgiveness. My business is down and she provides about 70% of the house up keep (She is a teacher). We have 4 children, the eldest being 17. I have been trying to sell my house or land to reestablish my business but it has not been easy. My wife now does as she like, even having male friends here in Ibadan and keeps too much secret? What should i do.

I know this is long, but its just a summary. Forgive any typo.

sliqboy:
Guy you too correct, over mature the worry you. You nailed everything to the head. As far as I am concerned this poster is sick in the mind and a weakling of a man. No matter hw bad things get for u, don't allow a woman feed u with other money, it's a taboo. Finally that woman will kill him with HIV/AIDS or worse still Otapiapia(Rat Poison) so that she can prostitute more freely.

chorla:
Why not sit her down and tell her to tell you what she really wants. It could be that she is no longer interested in you or possibly her getting married to you is because she was under pressure or she just want to get married.

You can also ask her if there is something you are doing that turns her off, maybe you are not giving her the satisfaction she is looking for.

You can also ask her if she will be happy if you reconnect with your old girlfriends too. Or create a scene where she will see you and a lady but make sure you have witnesses to prove that it's a deliberate act to see how she will react because of her infidelity.

Something is wrong somewhere, if you can help her to find out what her issue is, there will be a solution to it. The worst is that you guys have to separate.

obaaderemi:
I wonder how some people still think all women are weak even with all the bizarre stories in the news involving killer wives.

obaaderemi:
The way you talk am dey funny.

pocohantas:
Did you see the thread on a cheating husband? You see what your brothers were advising? This is why I don't pity 99.614% of them with cheating wives o.

They give women useless advice, advices they will never take. All out of selfishness to keep women in place, so that they can keep eating their cakes and having it. Then they will call same women emotional and fish-brained. The ones that beat them to their selfishness, they call them feminist. You just can't win them in this.

If my husband tries nonsense, I no go even divorce am. Why should I? God hates divorce na. Society hates single mothers. I will be there, I need to keep my enemy closer. But when I am done with him, he'll ask why I never left...

Theyoungmatron:
He should send the woman out of her house, abi no be the same thread we dey read so. He cannot send her out of any house because the house, business and almost all their all whatnots belongs to the woman. .

meekah:
I strongly doubt the truism of the write up perhaps some sort of "make believe"

hurthubby:
My story is too long but let me try to summarize everything.

(I have been a member of Nairaland since 2009, but i just created this account to hide my identity)

I got married in the year 2000 and wedded in Dec 2001. Before the actual wedding, my wife got a job in Abuja, where she stayed for one year before our wedding and her joining me in Ibadan. During the cause of that year, i have a friend who stays in Abuja that knows my wife very well, who reported about my wife's infidelity to me then, though i ignored it.

In the year 2005, my wife confessed to me that she committed adultery after our wedding. (She was actually about 2 months pregnant in Feb 2002 when she sought my permission to visit her sister in Lagos. I never knew that she actually visited one of her old boy friends and spent 2 days with him).

I was down cast for some days when i heard her confession before i got back myself and forgave and forgot everything.

She later got a job which made her travel often, sometimes spending weeks outside but i never suspected anything even though her boss, (A lady) called me several times to complain about my wife's behavior, which is contrary to that of a married woman but i didn't take her serious because my wife always complained of the harshness of the woman. She later lost the job and joined me in my business, but always going to Lagos to buy jewelry, which she sells in Ibadan.

In the year 2014, i got some texts from a concerned fellow about how my wife have been sleeping with his neighbor for over 2 years in Lagos. It happens that the fellow knows us very well and didn't want to cause any problem in our marriage but the the acts became too much, he had to let me know. When i confronted my wife with all the evidence and some dates, she owned up and pleaded for forgiveness. She confessed that the affair started when she was working for the lady i mentioned earlier and anytime she travels to Lagos for her jewelry business, she always go and sleep with the man. She promised to turn a new leaf.

In the year 2018, i discovered that she had been communicating with the same man, to the extent that he even knew that my wife traveled to Owerri for a wedding. I discovered that they had reconnected back and chats always. When i confronted my wife, she said that they have nothing, just chats, which i made her to stop (I don't know if they actually stopped).

Before i married her, a man actually dumped her and married her friend, 6 years earlier. The next boy friend left her and traveled abroad for over 2 years, without any communication (before i met and married her) but unfortunately, it didn't work out for him and he came back and discovered that shes married. He started pestering her,pretending that he wanted to marry her, that he traveled to make money for both of them, but been that she's already married, she introduced the man to her cousin and he married the cousin.

Now the issue is that my wife is flirting with her former boyfriends, sending pornographic pictures and nude pictures with dirty chats. I used to monitor her chat but to save myself from HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, i stopped checking her phone.

My wife even told the one that dumped her for her friend that she still loves him so much. She also tells the one that married her cousin the same thing and regrets that distance is so much between them. (The one that married the cousin is based in Kano while the one that married her friend is based in Abuja) Whenever i confront her, she will deny anything serious but when she sees my evidence, she will beg for forgiveness. My business is down and she provides about 70% of the house up keep (She is a teacher). We have 4 children, the eldest being 17. I have been trying to sell my house or land to reestablish my business but it has not been easy. My wife now does as she like, even having male friends here in Ibadan and keeps too much secret? What should i do.

I know this is long, but its just a summary. Forgive any typo.

AuroraB:
Oga, you are lying.

LadySarah:
because of the loose vagina?

luxy44:
So this is where you will get solution to your marital issues....??

pocohantas:
Did you see the thread on a cheating husband? You see what your brothers were advising? This is why I don't pity 99.614% of them with cheating wives o.

They give women useless advice, advices they will never take. All out of selfishness to keep women in place, so that they can keep eating their cakes and having it. Then they will call same women emotional and fish-brained. The ones that beat them to their selfishness, they call them feminist. You just can't win them in this.

If my husband tries nonsense, I no go even divorce am. Why should I? God hates divorce na. Society hates single mothers. I will be there, I need to keep my enemy closer. But when I am done with him, he'll ask why I never left...

JudgeOGBUNABALI:
Errrm ... Who ever wrote this is under a spell. Can we meet? I mean, I need to have like five able bodied men descend on you for no reason till you pass out.
You are not human pls. Just go mark your grave site with your relatives cause you are a living dead.
What a shame to men!!

kapelvej:
This story is not true. However if it is true, then what is really your problem. A woman cheating on you endlessly and you come here to complain. Please get out from here, go and divorce her, then come back to tell us the good news.

Gbengageorge:
You should have reacted violently, like driving her out of the house the first time you caught her, when you still have money, even though you may eventually pardon her, but because your reaction was subtle, she took you for granted that you wont do shit. So she continued in it.
Now you don't have a strong finance, she is capitalizing on that to go for more. So even if you try anything violent now, she will be like, you kuku no get money. But you need to threaten her now with divorce and see if she will be repentant. I doubt if she will be.

ChineduPeters:
There's no land or house too difficult to sell as long as your price is reasonable, documents intact, good location, etc. One priceless advantage of owning/investing in properties is that it will bail you out when you're in a fix. Call/WhatsApp 081-716-23062 and you're sure to get a perfect guidance of how to go about selling. All the best sir.

iykedare:
You get mouth. Na only cry and begging you go beg.

pocohantas:
When you see your fellow cheats killed by their spouses, you will start saying women are wicked. Before marriage, you would most likely say this nonsense... because in your mind, every woman has time to cry and beg