₦airaland Forum

Abo123:
I purposely registered a new name because of this story so that many people especially potential husbands can learn from this. I'll like to narrate the story in details so I want you to follow me.

It all started in 2011 when my brother got a contract job in Abuja. Then he met this lady when he went to our home town during a leave but she told him immediately that she can't date him because she's short but he kept persuading her as usual.

As time goes on she started crying that she is unable to pay her 300k school fees because her father is dead and her mum is not buoyant enough to continue the payment and she may withdraw as a result of this. So he offered to sponsor her education from 200level till she graduated and she agreed to date and later married her in 2014.

To make the long story short, he later got her and her two siblings well paid federal government job through his office and later got her a car. Less I forget that their marriage produced two children (a boy and a girl) in five years.

Unfortunately for him his contract job was terminated three months ago and he decided to give her 200k so that they can manage it for four months for food stuff and house keep but she told him that the money has been exhausted after two weeks. This caused a little quarrel and she decided to leave the house with both children and went to spend the week in a hotel.

This spark an annoyance of my family members and we decided to send two of our elderly brothers to her mum in our home town but the woman started sparking that she didn't wanted to marry him in the first place because he's short but she was the one that persuaded her to marry him.

They later had another quarrel last month and the lady took the children to her mum in the home town through a flat without informing the husband and any of our family member. So we decided not to call her and a court letter was issued to him for request of termination of the marriage.

Now the marriage is terminated and my brother is seriously depressed.

I really learnt a lot of lesson from this.

GrabHisBalls:
Blame your brother. I thought most of you go by the mantra "Make money and you'll marry any woman of your choice?" the moral lesson in your story is that a lady could love your money and not love you. That was exactly what played out and crashed their marriage.

Secondly, his inability to invest. If he had invested part of his salary, he won't have had reasons to fight over 200k 'cause I am sure he was giving her more than that of which she never accounted for. She realized he wasn't doing so well, so her reason for the disrespect.

freemi:
lols

FarahAideed:
Never persuade a woman who doesn't want you to want U

Tunagee:
Brilliant, especially coming from a woman

ifiokbenzy:
You no get money wahala, you get the money Gone!. Invest your money on something tangible, stop disturbing Nairaland with 1001 lessons learnt. Did the girl advertise any investment, you just waka for your too leg go patronize, even when she no gree. #Hard lesson: Don't go and pose to village girls when you can marry in the city. (Abuja). By the way, wetin kwasen mi

AreaFada2:
Well, bruv I still believe in love. I am not naive to believe in "Mills & Boon" kind of love but there is love. Not the infatuation type but one that grows over time between people. A couple need not be compatible ab initio BUT have to be complementary. Able to make reasonable adjustments and compromises along the way. They enhance the strengths of each other.

successmatters:
Moral of the story, never lose your job.

fatymore:
The lady is a shame to other ladies...

felaismyhero:
ok,just an observation: if you live in nigeria for more than 20 years,you would probably marry a naija gal.but the same amount of years in indian,and you would marry an indian gal,or the same amount of years in china,and you marry a chinese gal,lol.you see,there is a gal you are compatible with in every part of the world! it is not love; it is behavioural-agreement(if there is anything like that!).you can marry any gal,as far as your behaviours agree or square.

Smile4mee01:
Many women now want to be mothers and not wives. It's a sad thing, that why as a man Always Always put yourself first, it's not wickedness. It's to avoid stories that touch.

Knowing women for what they are, God forbid I loose my source of income. I will temporarily separate/leave before I am left.

Let me reveal something to you guys. If you have a woman in your life that does not exchange/invest/put in something to you and your life. Cut her loose. She will drain you of your energy time and resources and leave you empty.

Back to the story. Men pls pls pls. Always be on your grind, I know its not easy. A flip side. Woukd she have left if the husband was short but as wealthy as dangote?

Asifiwe:
my own brother had it differently A childhood friend of my brother returned from Finland for a second marriage after his wife who had two kids with him made up stories to get him out of the foreign country, my brother was also not married at the time, they were both preparing for his friend’s wedding, consulting and making arrangements together
When the discussion got to why my brother was still unmarried at the time, he replied that he hadn’t found the right lady and indeed so.
He jokingly asked if his friend from Finland knows any sincere Christian who is homely and have the maturity to raise a family
He responded in the affirmative that he knew a lady in Helenski who was visiting his ex-wife in the heat of their marital crisis, his ex-had said they both got talking after meeting at a train station and have since become friends (Although he did not so much approve of their friendship because his marriage crashed through many of the advice from too many influences and the accused)

He gave my brother the contact of this Lady who at the time had moved to France, my brother sent a quick message on Facebook and the lady replied almost immediately. They both got talking and the desperation to be married was so strong. Within the first two months after their Facebook interaction. She flew into Nigeria from France and even said how she rebuffed her friends who wanted to dissuade her from the marriage.

My brother felt pressured in by her haste and they both planned a wedding at the Ikoyi registry. When my brother was hesitant about the timing for the wedding, she sent some cash to pay at the registry.
She insisted that she wanted to keep the wedding plan away from her family who are in a separate part of the country. Although she invited one of her family and they both agreed to keep the other member of the family out of it.
She sneaked into Lagos sometimes in May of 2013 and they both had a marriage done after sex on her first arrival, they both did not wait for the oath at ikoyi, she hoped to be pregnant on returning to France because age was indeed ebbing to a disadvantage. She did the estimation by the online device but nothing happened when she returned.
My parents were a bit worried because of a character flaw which she began to manifest on meeting them within the short space. They could sense the eagerness
She succeeded in keeping the marriage away from her family members and waited for my brother to join her in France after all documentation and visa was granted.
It was when my brother arrived in France that the same Lady began to pressure my brother to go and pay her dowry and that he should lie or give the impression that they met in France so that she can hide the fact that she sneaked into Lagos
The marriage was bedevilled with turmoil because the lady my brother married turned out to be a domineering person, she kept several male friends even after my brother arrives in France and they were practically in charge of the home. They advise her secretly
She was having a diurnal and surreptitious close relationship within the first few months of their coming together
Her attention was so much diverted to these other men and they ruled her mind until the marriage crashed.
She became an angry fellow, very touchy, she called the cops on my brother on several occasion and as we heard, my brother on several occasion was sent out of the house they bought in the marriage. She wanted the house so she cunningly had the document in her name after making a paltry sum while the house was in build, she turned out to be a violent selfish partner who wanted virtually everything. Her only plan was to get semen to be called a mother
They had a child. She wanted to name the child. She did, but no sooner the child began to be ill
The first child of the marriage was stricken with illness but before the death of the child, she was comfortable to discuss the illness of the child in the marriage with her friends and alliances and her male loyalist before her marriage while despising my brother the owner of the child. she was not rid of males before being married. It was these divisive disruptions mainly that brought the marriage to her knees
Unfortunately, the loss was a good ground to let her go, but my brother wanting to pacify her over the loss supposing that another child will ease her pain, went ahead to impregnate her the second time.
She waited to have the baby and ended the marriage on from the hospital and had filed for divorce as my brother made to pay her child support from which she assigns funds to men

virgoquin:
Go and make money, hustle my brother once you make money any woman of your choice you can have.. this is the anthem of most young men these days.


una see una life bah,if you like make money and go for the woman of your choice if you are not her choice too she will just use your money as compensation.

Most men these days have extremely low self esteem, their worth is tied to money and when the money dwindles down their wives also disappear too.

zeb04:
“Your family sent a letter by court asking for divorce “ is the problem here. After 2 quarrels?okay oh.

Who is depressed now, abi are you guys sharing in the depression abi it is only to issue letter y’all know.

AreaFada2:
In my case it was the exact opposite regarding partner choice and location.

No one size fits all Bruv.

nicepoker101:
The lady didn't do anything bad. I am one of those people

healthserve:
Tell them to invest in side investment,no matter how legitimate it is, they'll call you a fraud. People like to learn the hard way

onetouchconcept:
Hmmn.
Moral of the story.
Entrepreurship is the way to go. Even it is a side hustle, invest in it. All this contract/salary jobs cannot be over relied on.

As for the lady, it is obvious that her family did not approve of the marriage and she knew this, hence the reason why she took the kids there.

Las las, this is one side of the story. There is the lady's side too, and there is the truth. He should just move on and take any lesson he can from the marriage.

Time heals almost everything

virgoquin:
Go and make money, hustle my brother once you make money any woman of your choice you can have.. this is the anthem of most young men these days.


una see una life bah,if you like make money and go for the woman of your choice if you are not her choice too she will just use your money as compensation.

Most men these days have extremely low self esteem, their worth is tied to money and when the money dwindles down their wives also disappear too.

successmatters:
Moral of the story, never lose your job.

JeffPlumbngWrks:
Sorry . . . .

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fireback:
Women are like local rice, if you like select from now till tomorrow, you go still chop sand.

successmatters:
Moral of the story, never lose your job.

Abo123:
I purposely registered a new name because of this story so that many people especially potential husbands can learn from this. I'll like to narrate the story in details so I want you to follow me.

It all started in 2011 when my brother got a contract job in Abuja. Then he met this lady when he went to our home town during a leave but she told him immediately that she can't date him because she's short but he kept persuading her as usual.

As time goes on she started crying that she is unable to pay her 300k school fees because her father is dead and her mum is not buoyant enough to continue the payment and she may withdraw as a result of this. So he offered to sponsor her education from 200level till she graduated and she agreed to date and later married her in 2014.

To make the long story short, he later got her and her two siblings well paid federal government job through his office and later got her a car. Less I forget that their marriage produced two children (a boy and a girl) in five years.

Unfortunately for him his contract job was terminated three months ago and he decided to give her 200k so that they can manage it for four months for food stuff and house keep but she told him that the money has been exhausted after two weeks. This caused a little quarrel and she decided to leave the house with both children and went to spend the week in a hotel.

This spark an annoyance of my family members and we decided to send two of our elderly brothers to her mum in our home town but the woman started sparking that she didn't wanted to marry him in the first place because he's short but she was the one that persuaded her to marry him.

They later had another quarrel last month and the lady took the children to her mum in the home town through a flat without informing the husband and any of our family member. So we decided not to call her and a court letter was issued to him for request of termination of the marriage.

Now the marriage is terminated and my brother is seriously depressed.

I really learnt a lot of lesson from this.

Martinez39:
This is the problem. There is no such woman. Even yourself is like that. Unfortunately, guys never listen.

DrObiHogan:
Once you're picking a wife as a Nigerian it's better u prepare your mind for this kind of eventualities. No matter how unpredictable and unprecedented the eventualities may be, just bear in mind that for every Nigerian girl, there are 80% chances she's a prostitute and 16% chances she's a gold digger. Now the remaining 4% depends on how lucky u get but from the beginning, the odds are against you as a man.

larryking540:
yeah I feel u my person
no matter how u understand estimate it marriage between equal social call is the best,
my own little short story, my mom also quite her marriage exactly like dis, after my p man don sponsor her tru school, she got a job and started working na so she move out, thank God we still stood with my old man,till date,few weeks ago I got angry and asked my mom watin make her leave she said man father was treating her like a slave, and I asked but he sponsored u tru school and my mom said I quote he should tell me how much he spent and I will pay him back, my dear I weak, I only now understand she was actually looking for freedom,
I pray for her to have a long life and a prosperity career my brother but she messed up

2 lessons I learnt,
never marry a lady outside ur social class,
ur family first before u sponsor anybody,
if it's a female pls hustle to assist ur family, and not after getting married u will start diverting ur husband money to ur family members,

I wouldn't b surprise if the op wife don buy land already

Toscarel:
My uncle is going through something very similar