₦airaland Forum

nextstep:
Honestly, you can't know.

I do know four things:

1. Actions speak louder than words
2. You can't force anybody to feel anything
3. Feelings can change in a heartbeat
4. Which is why women constantly need assurance.

In summary, love is not something you put in a box, self-assured that it will never change. Best you can do is put your best efforts into the relationship, but be sure he is also putting his best efforts. It's a continuous process, made stronger with ups and downs.

nice
not reassuring but true

marvelous000:
I'm sorry if i sound obfuscating, but it's my writing proclivity.

Bros why? she just told u ur grammer need a dictionary for her to comprehend ur write up, and here u trow another bomb without letting the first bomb to explode properly.

marvelous000:
I want to be sincere with you as a man; you're in a precarious relationship, and you shouldn't be much emotionally invested in that relationship.
be circumspect with your dealing with him, while trying to make him concede emotionally and commitment wise. if he equivocates, then start making plans to jump ship, while approaching the relationship with stolidity until you see the end.

if it turn out palatable-fine, but if it turn out awry; then you'd be better equipped to handle heartbreak in any form it might rear it head.

because by his demeanor, there isn't a palpable ground to reach a conclusion whether he loves you or not. but there's something surreptitious and oblique about him, which is why you've got to be careful.

With all these grammar, there is still a grammatical blunder!! .

Not too great advice though since you are advising the lady not to put all her eggs in one basket! She should love unconditionally, if it works out fine, if not..

Purfee:
Lol I wouldn't know.
If I'd wanted to date ten guys at a time, I would but I'm not so into dating like that. I won't condemn ladies that do that but it's not just my thing.
Thank you.

Your sins are forgiven.
Go and son no more.

Purfee:
I didn't quit my relationship. I wouldn't have. It was due to an unresolvable issue between me and my former guy.
I appreciate very contribution.
Thank you.

Let this guy go already. He's got other plans already. I tell you the truth. Don't hurt yourself twice, instead start healing quick, soon he will say u are all around him cos of his new level. I'm really sorry. Things we do for love.

[quote author=marvelous000 post=82319997]I'm sorry if i sound obfuscating, but it's my writing proclivity.

Na wa for you sef

He doesn't like long distant relationships and that is the fact. You should just move ahead and kill every emotions you have left. Life is short

desvi:
Purfee,

there are no guarantees in life or relationships.
now to your question, how do you know he loves you?
you feel it!
your problem is that you don't feel his love
trust your intuition
if you feel he is withdrawing, then he is
if you want to fix it, leave it alone
don't nag
it's a sure way to push him away more


you MUST focus on yourself if you want this relationship to have a chance
it's your job to be happy regardless of his behavior
love him but ignore him for a while
and focus on being happy
he is focused on himself and his personal and professional growth too
so must you
what goals have you got? what else, other than him, are you passionate about?

pick his calls, reply to his messages, be nice and sweet
but if he doesn't give you his attention, give yourself all the love and attention you want and deserve
prove to yourself that you can be happy regardless of his behavior
and you will have a very happy relationship
with him or someone else
but you will

OP!! This is the only person you should listen to. I say this from experience!

Nothing to see here
The abroadians

VeeVeeMyLuv:
Madam ever heard of Heisenberg uncertainty principle?

Nothing is uncertain except what you know.

Love that principle.

Nonsense

Is he the only man in the world?

Nonsense

Na wa for you sex.
[quote author=marvelous000 post=82319997]I'm sorry if i sound obfuscating, but it's my writing proclivity.

Purfee:
Good day Nairalanders,

So I had to create another account to share my story.
Please I need sincere counsels from you all.
Now to my story.

I'm in a relationship with a guy for almost a year now. We actually both left previous relationships to be together. In the start of our relationship we were together for few months before it became a distant one.

While we were together I know he loves me but maybe not as much as I would have loved it. We've had issues he has strived to settle and all. When it became distant, he got a job and the relationship got strained cause we weren't communicating as much as we used to. Initially he got a really low paying job but that was in the midst of guys. I still had all the attention. But when he got a job in the midst of plenty females.. Young guys and ladies I felt the relationship strained. I had reasons to accuse him of not loving me. And he says what do I know about guys in love. He loves me and all. Now I feel that I tend to love him a lot. I worry about him being close to other girls at his place of work.

He recently just got a browsing phone and I saw his close conversation with girls at his place of work and he says they are just his friends.

Of a truth all these happening has given me different causes to worry a lot. This is a guy I love so much. We don't even chat much and he doesn't flaunt me on Whatsapp at least. Since he came online he's only uploaded a picture of me once and a picture of us on the day he was traveling abroad.

Now that's another crux of the matter. He travelled after months of we being distant. He says he will come back after a year. He says he's leaving so our lives can get better and we'll achieve our goals.

His friends were telling me he will come back for me. I saw him off to the airport though.

Lemme quickly round up my story here.

I love my boyfriend so much. He says he does too but I'm not feeling it as much. I saw his close conversations and pictures of girls on his phone and he says they are his friends just barely three months of working.

How do I know he loves me as much and how do I put my mind at rest. I know his mum and family members. He knows some of my siblings too. I'm 24 and I hope to get married soon.

He says I crave for attention a lot and I take relationship too personal.
He says he loves me but it doesn't sound weighty too me. And how do I know he'll fulfil all he's promised to fulfil. He's 2yrs older.

I hope y'all can put the tiny bits of my story together and advise me.

Thank you.

Ask questions too I'll be ready to answer.

From your write up it shows you are a kid looking for attention, better find something doing at 24 you should be in school studying all these kids running up and down in relationships ended up destroying and confusing themselves do something meaningful and improve your life

Easybela:
distant relationship isn't for everyone, it can only work for matured and serious minded partners. I was in a distant relationship for 5years before I married him and guess what, any lady that starts flashing herself around him,he quickly introduce her to me and before you know it,that one will stop replying my "hi" on watsapp . Staying away from someone you love and being faithful isn't easy,its filled with temptations. He was in the country,your communications dropped, how much more now that he's out. Don't be in a hurry to quit though, but gradually shift your heart towards another direction

Hmm... Is your hubby an introvert?

@Purfee, truth be told, that relationship is tethering on a cliff.

He's getting disconnected. He may still love you, but he's no longer in tune with his feelings. The committment to you is becoming a burden. That's why he would say you're taking a relationship personal. No man who appreciates committment would utter that sort of statement.

My dear, if it bothers you so much, please break up and move on. It is only that disconnection that would bring him to his senses (if he ever will).
Move on babe. He'll turn you into a needy nag in no time. Save your energy.

Men are too complicated.
Just go with the flow do NOT force it,when he wants to talk,talk.
When he isn't replying your messages, let him be!!..Focus on other aspects of your life especially your WORK..


Be happy and don't allow any man have control over your happiness.

Clinton16:
speak in clear terms so she can comprehend your message

don't mind the yeye guy blowing nonsense grammar.

marvelous000:
I want to be sincere with you as a man; you're in a precarious relationship, and you shouldn't be much emotionally invested in that relationship.
be circumspect with your dealing with him, while trying to make him concede emotionally and commitment wise. if he equivocates, then start making plans to jump ship, while approaching the relationship with stolidity until you see the end.

if it turn out palatable-fine, but if it turn out awry; then you'd be better equipped to handle heartbreak in any form it might rear it head.

because by his demeanor, there isn't a palpable ground to reach a conclusion whether he loves you or not. but there's something surreptitious and oblique about him, which is why you've got to be careful.

all this English just to advice one confuse aunty.

MartinsD12:
From your write up it shows you are a kid looking for attention, better find something doing at 24 you should be in school studying all these kids running up and down in relationships ended up destroying and confusing themselves do something meaningful and improve your life

Na them! If you were patient enough, you’d see where she wrote that she is about concluding her Masters Program. She also said she has a business. Duh!

MartinsD12:
From your write up it shows you are a kid looking for attention, better find something doing at 24 you should be in school studying all these kids running up and down in relationships ended up destroying and confusing themselves do something meaningful and improve your life

no need to be disrespectful

Your boyfriend has moved on. Probably found more appealing pussy

UyaiIncomparabl:
He is just 26. He's still a growing adult. If you're looking to settling down soon, date mature men from 30 and above. I wonder what I'll be doing with kids of that age range. Don't just waste your time, dear. He isn't getting married anytime soon. He hasn't experienced 'life' at all.

Switch levels already!

I'm really not so keen about settling down now. If it happens now fine but loyalty is key for me.

Purfee:
Good day Nairalanders,

So I had to create another account to share my story.
Please I need sincere counsels from you all.
Now to my story.

I'm in a relationship with a guy for almost a year now. We actually both left previous relationships to be together. In the start of our relationship we were together for few months before it became a distant one.

While we were together I know he loves me but maybe not as much as I would have loved it. We've had issues he has strived to settle and all. When it became distant, he got a job and the relationship got strained cause we weren't communicating as much as we used to. Initially he got a really low paying job but that was in the midst of guys. I still had all the attention. But when he got a job in the midst of plenty females.. Young guys and ladies I felt the relationship strained. I had reasons to accuse him of not loving me. And he says what do I know about guys in love. He loves me and all. Now I feel that I tend to love him a lot. I worry about him being close to other girls at his place of work.

He recently just got a browsing phone and I saw his close conversation with girls at his place of work and he says they are just his friends.

Of a truth all these happening has given me different causes to worry a lot. This is a guy I love so much. We don't even chat much and he doesn't flaunt me on Whatsapp at least. Since he came online he's only uploaded a picture of me once and a picture of us on the day he was traveling abroad.

Now that's another crux of the matter. He travelled after months of we being distant. He says he will come back after a year. He says he's leaving so our lives can get better and we'll achieve our goals.

His friends were telling me he will come back for me. I saw him off to the airport though.

Lemme quickly round up my story here.

I love my boyfriend so much. He says he does too but I'm not feeling it as much. I saw his close conversations and pictures of girls on his phone and he says they are his friends just barely three months of working.

How do I know he loves me as much and how do I put my mind at rest. I know his mum and family members. He knows some of my siblings too. I'm 24 and I hope to get married soon.

He says I crave for attention a lot and I take relationship too personal.
He says he loves me but it doesn't sound weighty too me. And how do I know he'll fulfil all he's promised to fulfil. He's 2yrs older.

I hope y'all can put the tiny bits of my story together and advise me.

Thank you.

Ask questions too I'll be ready to answer.

He is facing some challenges and that alone can take his attention

He is a young guy, though dating you, he is going to have friends just to be happy with people

Stop thinking negative and keep greeting him on phone and keep communicating with him

Most times pray for him for God to guide his ways

Thank God his family knows you, if you are working, visit them and make yourself relevant to them

Spend time too with them

If he is dropping you, you will get the signal from the parents attitude on you

Get fruits for them or snacks , it's a way of showing love and care

Leave the rest for God to finalise for you

Chi59:
Hanty a bird in hand is worth two in the bush. You better start looking around you for more viable alternatives before yawa go gas.

But you used the wrong analogy. The bird at hand is her current bf

Newguyhere:
how I wish I had a gf like you
No be all these one's wey dey play hard to get

she is doing all these finding and claiming loving him don't want to loose him to other ladies bcuz she has seen the future naija girls fear them.

Newguyhere:
how I wish I had a gf like you
No be all these one's wey dey play hard to get

she is lovely right?
she deserves a man who will treat her like the queen she is
a very nice soul


have we got a new match here?

Relax your mind sister. From your explanation this guy loves you but the way guys shows love is different from you ladies.
Love is like a bird, when you hold too tight, you kill it also when you leave it too much, it fly away.

Moderation is the key.

Purfee:
I'm really not so keen about settling down now. If it happens now fine but loyalty is key for me.

marvelous000:
I'm sorry if i sound obfuscating, but it's my writing proclivity.

to slap you dey hungry me...someone say your English too heavy, you still dey use big grammar dey slam left right centre again

When he start behaving like your last relationship

You will know things are going south ...

I think you are insecure
That's a big disadvantage