₦airaland Forum

MYDEBBY:
Dear Nairalander I greet you all.Pls I need candid advice,I have dated my wife for over six years with an issue,and now that we have done traditional rites and about to climax with white wedding she is giving flimsy excuses that she is no longer interested in me.She is currently in final year and has drastically changed in her dressing and attitude towards due to influence of friends in school. Often I do report incidences of her recent poor dressing to her parents after cautioning her she will channel the grievances to me.The recent one made her so angry that she started recanting all my past mistakes which she and her family are aware of and have resolved since now using it as an excuse against me that she is no longer interested. She kept mute for over two weeks due to anger yet I still transferred money twice to her but up till now she did not acknowledged it,only for her to send text that she need money for our daughters school fees.I then decide to visit them off campus where they stay yesterday with lots of provision yet she could not say a common thank you.While I was still making peace with her asking her to forgive me for whatever wrong I have done to her by reporting her to her parents,promising not to do so again,a guy knocked the door,and she went out after the guy I asked a relation who was there who was the guy and he said he is my wife's friend,I quickly followed them on citing me the guy diverted after their discussion about me.when we then entered the house I asked her who was the guy and she said that's not my business. I kept quiet.after a while I called her parents to tell them the situation of things that their daughter said she is no longer interested they now asked us to come down to the village to see them this coming weekend.I know things are not alright somewhere and as such I need straight forward advice on what to do.pls no insult just help out.Thanks

AwkaetitiBabe:
The advice I'll give to you is to quit reporting her to parent. You a grown man, deal with ur problems accordingly. Importantly never force a woman to stay with you. Give her a breather if she get sense, she retrace her steps.

AlphaSegzy:
Most women don't know what they want. They are confused fellows. Give them everything, they will misbehave. Give them little or nothing, they will still misbehave.Bro, someone is deceiving her somewhere. Just prepare your heart for the worst. She might be testing your patience or seriously tired of you.Just make her family realize that you have done your best on her. If she goes, you'll find someone better. To every Man, there is a thousand woman. #Sage.

GeniusWannabe:
And you blatantly ignored the part where he talked about the guy that visited her.

Zubi10:
You're just been wicked ....what rubbish talk is this??

LilMissFavvy:
Most women would be happy to marry the man they once had a child for, so if she is doing otherwise, it means you have been a bad partner. You mentioned that she brought up your past deeds. You cannot control her like a robot, accept her dressing, or let her be.If you wish to keep her, then change your character for the best.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Remember an innocent kid is in between all these. You guys should go for the family meeting and lay ur cards on the table. If she insists on leaving, let her go. You'll die prematurely if u keep a lady who actually doesn't wanna be kept.

Angelacruz:
It is vivid dat she does not love nor respect u.Dnt be shock dat another guy is paying her bills,deceiving her n also sleeping wit her.Jst train ur daughter n cancel d wedding.U can get married to anoda lady later but nt nw jst take ur tym.Gudluck

Charleys:
Guy leave her alone, leave that your daughter alone.

The new guy will train your daughter for you.

enuk80:
I will advise you to live the woman immediately. She is not a good woman. She will turn you to trash if you continue with her. The best thing like everyone one has said above me is to move on with your life. I will also advise you to take custody of your daughter(s) so as to look after her (them). Your children don't need to be influence by your ex wife attitude. Let your ex wife be and move on with your life. This is part of life and you are not the first to go through this challenges. She is ungrateful and trying to manipulate you with your past.

slimay:
Shame the devil. Leave her first so she won't tell the story of her breaking the relationship

MYDEBBY:
Thanks Angelacruz your advise is well taken,may you live long.

MYDEBBY:
Tastyme what of if I get emotional in the car with them and loss control,I appreciate your wonderful advice.she has really manipulated me but its enough of my mumurity and humility. Never again!!! This time around at least I dedicate my stand this time around to my late father,mother and brothers.Thanks.

MYDEBBY:
You make sense o but how do I go about this?

MYDEBBY:
Lalasticlala
Obinoscopy
Mynd44

Pls do the needful for me.

Situation report the mum of my wife called me to ask why I did not send the money of my 4yrs old daughters school fees as my wife demanded this morning,I told her that I will be changing my daughters school,or probably if I will pay will transfer it to the school account directly.
She then said while I am coming for the meeting at the village this weekend I should carry them along in my car,this is what my wife refused when I was suggesting to do so,but now the mum is pleading I come along with them in my ride. Should I adhere? Thanks all.

mp3ree:
Guy most time the mother of the mother of the girls are privy to everything going on.My advice ,she should take a public transport,since she refused the initial request why change her mind.

MYDEBBY:
Bravo my senior colleague,thanks for you superb counsel,sincerely it is her friends that are unmarried that deceived her.but after all my spendings and she did this to me,she must regret the tears I shed pleading to her.Thanks once again.

LilMissFavvy:
Drop yours, and ignore mine. Simple!

pansophist:
So let me get this straight. (under the assumption that she is at fault here)

She has your daughter, she is hanging out with another man, no sense of appreciation when you give her money, she has changed and became rude to you and admitted that she is done with the relationship. In your own part, you're willing to commit, financially okay, a good dad to your daughter, and a young man. Like seriously what the heck is wrong with you?

By social standards, you're an attractive man and the kind many ladies are searching for. Like someone said earlier, you do not know your value and still stuck in this typical beta mindset of seeing women as a prize, a creature to appease with begging and burnt sacrifices. Your love for her has clouded your sense of principles, boundaries and worth. You can easily get another woman, but I can't say the same for her, men typically do not go for women with a kid already.

Gave her your last warning, sternly, and if she didn't change, move on. Adopt an abundance mindset. Focus on making yourself an attractive man, and enjoy women in their variety. Begging a woman for commitment is an antithesis. It signifies that you have no options, and that's an instant attraction killer. If the manosphere does anything, it helps men fummigate these beta behaviours like yours away, and make you easily navigate the world with your head, instead of your heart, and that's exactly what she is doing to you.

MYDEBBY:
Dear Nairalander I greet you all.Pls I need candid advice

Jordanbelfort07:
ubunja,Ilekokonit, martinez39, make una come see una bloda here oo Mr nice guy
keep worshipping pussy till you commit sucide you hear

IntrovertedK:
you are too immature. Your immaturity stinks. And from your writeup i can easily tell the type of person you are and your kinda background. Advice can't do anything, your foundation is somehow.

MYDEBBY:
I agree I am immature for asking for advice,but remember in a multitude of counsel there is safety.your constructive criticism sends me more to a high pedestal.Thanks

GeniusWannabe:
And you blatantly ignored the part where he talked about the guy that visited her.

Jayso1234:
I ignored it under the assumption that he is willing to work things out and get to the bottom of the issue. If her disinterest is a result of his poor treatment of her, then there is hope. If it is because she is interested in another man, that is a different matter. My evaluation, is she may be giving him this attitude not because she is interested in the other man, but she doesn't like something that the poster has done/is doing.

GeniusWannabe:
If I remember correctly, the poster said he apologized to her but she didn't seem to pay attention to him. I don't know if there's more to the story, I don't know how long their differences has been on, but from the look of things, it seems the lady just isn't interested anymore, it's beyond what the poster has done/is doing.

IntrovertedK:
so you can be more mature like this with your write up buh you kept writing how you were calling her parent times without number. You are going to turn yourself to a joke before them if you haven't already. If she wants to go, let her. You can't force love and attention.

Jayso1234:
You are correct, however, we are only getting one side of the story and I was being optimistic from the view that since he says she has been bringing up grievances against him, he is not entirely innocent. Perhaps he has apologized before and then reverted back. The poster says he has changed, so I will give him the benefit of the doubt, but depending on the offences, it may be hard for her to forgive. Perhaps this next meeting would determine everything, but it seems the poster has already made up his mind. A lot of men have responded, but it seems not many women have. Just because she was talking to the other man, does not mean she has moved on. Perhaps she is trying to be hard because she felt unfairly treated. Any way, the ball is in their court.