go for counselling ask of Daniel akpata on 99.3 Nigeriainfo or twitter type that counselling is the best good luck

LadySarah:
I must say you are one lucky man.Have been doing skin to skin all these yrs and still negative?

You are special

Modified:Science or not,taking drugs religously and having low viral load,i still maintain he is special. .If you so believe yourselves,go and experiment with a carrier .

The mentions haff do

See as you avoided what the woman did. Daughters of jezebel

GrabHisBalls:
Stop saying she pressured you. I don't think women easily pressure men into doing things they don't want. I could even deduce you married her 'cause a child was involved which you had a choice to say 'No' to. Inasmuch as she may have fooled you, you have your own share of the blame. Couples undergo series of test like genotype, blood group, HIV status before marriage. If you'd both done this, you would've known her status prior to the marriage. That would've informed you that she's infected since you're lucky to have been immune to the virus.

What are you saying? You are not even reading the OP message
The Lady in question went as far as distorting results, conniving with medical personnel to hide her status, even if the OP had gone for the medical tests as you suggested, the results would have been tampered by the lady.

You behave as if he should have gone into the situation with the mindset of suspecting the lady from the onset.

This woman is using you as a lab rat and you are here looking for what to do

Bros the best thing is to stay away from her cause she will do anything to infect you, God decided to exempt you from all her plans cause you don't know what was happening and now you have known just don't do anything with her cause if you do there is every tendency that you will contract it. She is a serial cheat and heartless person. If you do anything now that you know you may not go free again..... Your God is alive.

Hobbsandshaw:


My concern really is my boys.I want the best for them

Time for pretense has gone

Face the reality with courage and boldness but nit with aggressive means

Take every one to a trusted doctor and rerun the whole test

Get to know the level she is, and ask the doctor to advise you if you need to take preventive drugs or go ahead with skin to skin

She is capable of infecting those kids if any harsh decision is taken on her

If possible, stop at this two kids and plan for them

May anger is that she is stubborn and clueless

First of all inform her parents and watch their reactions

She is very canny and secretive

You're so foolish Op. Im Sorry I just have to blast you cos you're still here asking for opinion

Its obvious your life ain't precious to you .

Niggaz that woman will kill you

Blow the lid open, let the both families know about it. You shouldn't honor a fucking marriage that was based on fraud and deception

Take her to court if need be, fight for the custody of your kids.

It's a crime for her to have deceived you into a sexual relationship

Fight it with all your might in court

And pls don't have any sexual contact with her no more..I wouldn't even sleep next to a devil like that.

Don't push your luck bro. You're not special

The preponderance of HIV cases nowadays is very alarming, I was once in a very similar situation as yours some years back. Only difference was that I got to know during her pregnancy for our only child. Though I tried to make it work, I noticed there was no remorse or appreciation of the fact that I still loved her despite her status. I had to run for my life after 14 months of knowing. I pay my financial duty as father while she is in custody of our son (which I will still have a DNA test in future to validate). I am glad I did what i did looking back now. The ball is in your court brother! It takes a lot of courage to be a man in this current generation.

theButterfly:
It's evil enough that she deceived you into marriage with her pregnancy plan and that she has been devising one plan after the other through your marriage to prevent you from finding out the truth, but to be unapologetic and unremorseful for her actions is something else, the same way she would be unapologetic and unremorseful had you contracted it. You might as well be married to your enemy.

true talk

baby124:

If she takes her drugs and has a low count then he most likely won’t be infected. It’s a virus too some rare people are Immune

when the drug is used to immune system it will not be active within that period the man will have the virus

Hobbsandshaw:
I need mature advice from nairalanders.

I got married to my wife December,2015. The marriage is now blessed with two boys, the 2nd boy came last month.

The issue now is that I just discovered my wife is HIV positive during this 2nd pregnancy.The woman that I showed so much love tricked me into marrying her knowing fully well that she was HIV positive. I'm not really angry because she is HIV positive,I'm angry because she has been playing me all along.

She was in the Uni in another state while we were dating.Almost to the end of her study in 2014, she called that she was pregnant after I visited.She came to Lagos with PT and scan results to prove her claim.She then pressured me into paying her bride price before the pregnancy become public.We did our traditional marriage and went to the registry.Months after the marriage,my wife said the pregnancy has mysteriously disappeared, blaming it on "village people",but the gentle man in me didn't allow me to read any meaning to the movie.She tricked me into marrying her with the fake pregnancy after discovering she is HIV positive.

She eventually took in(for real this time),she came back from antenatal one afternoon crying, when I enquired what the issue was, she told me that they booked her for C-SECTION,that the doctor said the baby's weight is below 2kg and will almost be impossible for her to have the baby by herself,I was there consoling her not knowing that the doctor opted for C-SECTION because she is HIV positive.She actually told them not to disclose her status to me.The baby was 3.6kg at birth.My son was giving Nevirapine.I did some search and discovered that the drug is an antiretroviral drug,I became worried but I still played it down.

Her lid finally blew when she started antenatal for this my 2nd son in a different hospital, maybe she might have thought to herself that at this point there is nothing I will do any more, she told me that the doctor referred her to a government hospital for HIV confirmatory test.We went and did the test,I don't know the trick she played this time, the result was non reactive for her, me and our son.I went to the hospital and made Alot of noise,we went home and celebrated.Seven months later, she had an accident and was admitted, the doctor not satisfied with result of our confirmatory test,took her sample and send it to one of the best labs in Lagos,all the kits shows she was reactive.Because of the scene I created earlier, the doctor called me and showed me the result.That was when I started playing back to the first pregnancy scam, the rush for the marriage and the Nevirapine that was giving to my first son and I discovered I was being fooled by this woman all along.

This woman has hid her status from me and have been taking drugs under my nose for over five years without me knowing.I and my boy have gone for test twice at seven months interval and we are confirmed negative. I was told at one teaching hospitals I went for the test last month that maybe I'm just lucky or we are "discordant couple"
I have been expecting her to show remorse, and maybe apologize but she is still doing as if nothing happened.

I can't discuss this with my family or even hers, she will be stigmatize.I feel betrayed,I don't know how long I will stay in this marriage, but then I'm concerned about my boys. I'm afraid she might get desperate and try other means to infect me,I don't trust her.
What should I do?

It's like you're sleeping and you need a rude awakening!

You will DEFINITELY be infected sooner or later. If I were you I would also use the same trick she used in getting IN to also trick my way OUT of that catastrophic marriage!

She may be the weaker sex but she's the smarter of you both! What you've seen is just the tip of the iceberg!

narcissistic red flag �
Bro, she'll use you till the end of the world, she doesn't love you. Deception is a solid ground for dissolution of marriage. Fleeeeeeeee

Hobbsandshaw:


My fear is that,I may not be lucky forever, and even with the situation at hand, she is still full of attitudes.She is a very stubborn woman.

GrabHisBalls:
Stop saying she pressured you. I don't think women easily pressure men into doing things they don't want. I could even deduce you married her 'cause a child was involved which you had a choice to say 'No' to. Inasmuch as she may have fooled you, you have your own share of the blame. Couples undergo series of test like genotype, blood group, HIV status before marriage. If you'd both done this, you would've known her status prior to the marriage. That would've informed you that she's infected since you're lucky to have been immune to the virus.

Stop trying to sound woke; you are damn fast asleep.

You have to act smart so she won't spread the disease on you or the kids as a punishmnt. Since u and ur kids are lucky and probably cos of the drugs she's taking, u must not annoy her or allow her to know ur next move. Just handle it like a professional. You're allowed to divorce her since it has to do with deceit but be wise; it's a matter of life and death

mayordj4real:
Also depends on the kind of Virus and your immune system, the virus can be on your skin or body for 15yrs plus and you will never know until it actually gets in your blood.

stop saying rubbish

Hobbsandshaw:
I need mature advice from nairalanders.

I got married to my wife December,2015. The marriage is now blessed with two boys, the 2nd boy came last month.

The issue now is that I just discovered my wife is HIV positive during this 2nd pregnancy.The woman that I showed so much love tricked me into marrying her knowing fully well that she was HIV positive. I'm not really angry because she is HIV positive,I'm angry because she has been playing me all along.

She was in the Uni in another state while we were dating.Almost to the end of her study in 2014, she called that she was pregnant after I visited.She came to Lagos with PT and scan results to prove her claim.She then pressured me into paying her bride price before the pregnancy become public.We did our traditional marriage and went to the registry.Months after the marriage,my wife said the pregnancy has mysteriously disappeared, blaming it on "village people",but the gentle man in me didn't allow me to read any meaning to the movie.She tricked me into marrying her with the fake pregnancy after discovering she is HIV positive.

She eventually took in(for real this time),she came back from antenatal one afternoon crying, when I enquired what the issue was, she told me that they booked her for C-SECTION,that the doctor said the baby's weight is below 2kg and will almost be impossible for her to have the baby by herself,I was there consoling her not knowing that the doctor opted for C-SECTION because she is HIV positive.She actually told them not to disclose her status to me.The baby was 3.6kg at birth.My son was giving Nevirapine.I did some search and discovered that the drug is an antiretroviral drug,I became worried but I still played it down.

Her lid finally blew when she started antenatal for this my 2nd son in a different hospital, maybe she might have thought to herself that at this point there is nothing I will do any more, she told me that the doctor referred her to a government hospital for HIV confirmatory test.We went and did the test,I don't know the trick she played this time, the result was non reactive for her, me and our son.I went to the hospital and made Alot of noise,we went home and celebrated.Seven months later, she had an accident and was admitted, the doctor not satisfied with result of our confirmatory test,took her sample and send it to one of the best labs in Lagos,all the kits shows she was reactive.Because of the scene I created earlier, the doctor called me and showed me the result.That was when I started playing back to the first pregnancy scam, the rush for the marriage and the Nevirapine that was giving to my first son and I discovered I was being fooled by this woman all along.

This woman has hid her status from me and have been taking drugs under my nose for over five years without me knowing.I and my boy have gone for test twice at seven months interval and we are confirmed negative. I was told at one teaching hospitals I went for the test last month that maybe I'm just lucky or we are "discordant couple"
I have been expecting her to show remorse, and maybe apologize but she is still doing as if nothing happened.

I can't discuss this with my family or even hers, she will be stigmatize.I feel betrayed,I don't know how long I will stay in this marriage, but then I'm concerned about my boys. I'm afraid she might get desperate and try other means to infect me,I don't trust her.
What should I do?

"O God of Heaven and Earth, let this poster receive sense in Jesus name "

A woman who has the mind to do skin to skin with you knowing shes positive can kill you. what was her intention for not playing safe to protect you; she nor wan die alone. And you're still there asking what to do....without being told you should know.
Youre caring about someone who didnt care whether you died or not.

Hobbsandshaw:


That woman that I know will deliberately infect me if I offend her, she is capable of any thing when she is angry (I found that part of her out after we got married) I'm in my mid thirties, how long can I leave "perfectly" with her?

You know she will infect you and you are still asking foolish questions, Pele o Mr nice guy..

GrabHisBalls:
Stop saying she pressured you. I don't think women easily pressure men into doing things they don't want. I could even deduce you married her 'cause a child was involved which you had a choice to say 'No' to. Inasmuch as she may have fooled you, you have your own share of the blame. Couples undergo series of test like genotype, blood group, HIV status before marriage. If you'd both done this, you would've known her status prior to the marriage. That would've informed you that she's infected since you're lucky to have been immune to the virus.

you are right, churches demand for blood group.genotype and Hiv test from reputable hospitals before wedding

Send me a DM I will counsel you. I think I can help in some ways. Cheers

Me

Rubbiish:

@bold How would he know if he trusted her??
She can always lie it is malaria drugs, don't blame op for this at all

Haha! You think HIV patients only take a few drugs? It's a cocktail of pills they take. About 15 tablets all together.

I'm just curious to know how she hid this

clarknuvie:
There is nofin in being hiv positive young man . Most of the people commenting here are and they don't even know . Young man so far she is taking her drugs is fine and you wont be infected . As it stands now she might even be more healthier than u.love your wife and be a good dad . It could be any of us . Is not all about sex okay. As far as am concern this is not an issue

You make no sense. I cant even..

Hobbsandshaw:


You are right.She was very eager to know my status.
I'm very supportive now because she just had CS,I can't risk PTSD for her.

Do a DNA test for your kids pls!

1Sharon:


Haha! You think HIV patients only take a few drugs? It's a cocktail of pills they take. About 15 tablets all together.

I'm just curious to know how she hid this

15 tablets at a time?

Rubbiish:

15 tablets at a time?

I dont know if they take it at the same time, but that's the total daily.

1Sharon:


I dont know if they take it at the same time, but that's the total daily.

Why e con plenty like that

Hobbsandshaw:


My fear is that,I may not be lucky forever, and even with the situation at hand, she is still full of attitudes.She is a very stubborn woman.

find a way to let her go without exposing her to public stigma.

Hope u know she can't go for another C Section again, if u love ur boys and you love her, u can talk to her and show her more love even now, disappoint her, she mite feel u will run away from her when u fine out but talk to her, that HIV can not stop the love u have for her, that u are only angry for she not opening up to u, but it's fine u forgive her and it's between the family, but from now on sex will be with condom.

But if u have lost interest in the marriage n no long feel safe with her, take her to court, get ur son and leave the house for her, then later u come take ur other son.

U are one hell of a lucky son of a B****.

Caseless:
find a way to let her go without exposing her to public stigma.

That is exactly what I'm planning to do.kids are involve here,if take hasty decision and make this public(to people that know us), the stigma will still rub off on me and the kids. I don't have to be wicked because she is. All these people calling me names are not even wise.I'M JUST ACTNG LIKE A FOOL TO FOOL THE THAT HAS BEEN FOOLING ME.

Maybe you didn't stay amongst your people, there so many Igbo girls with, if you permit me, prior to wedlock pregnancies. Many of them come back to claim single while their kids are back in the village with their moms. Or was it not what they used in starting baby factory all over the place.



quote author=Success1020 post=82619492]

Stop using Yorubas as example with out of wed pregnancies. Out of wed pregnancy is very common among yorubas, that it's now an acceptable norm among them. How many Igbos do you know with out of wed pregnancy? Very few. Igbo don't roll like that![/quote]

dizzzzy14:
Hope u know she can't go for another C Section again, if u love ur boys and you love her, u can talk to her and show her more love even now, disappoint her, she mite feel u will run away from her when u fine out but talk to her, that HIV can not stop the love u have for her, that u are only angry for she not opening up to u, but it's fine u forgive her and it's between the family, but from now on sex will be with condom.

But if u have lost interest in the marriage n no long feel safe with her, take her to court, get ur son and leave the house for her, then later u come take ur other son.

U are one hell of a lucky son of a B****.

.
That's settled already. What will I still be looking for after two kids.

Too many ignorant folks, someone even claimed HIV patient take 15 drugs daily. Lazy youth. Oga husband, go to good teaching hospital and get counselling. If you want to divorce her please you are free, don't rub it on her to start taking all your excesses because of her condition. Your kids are safe as long as she is taking her medication, her viral load is less than 20,000 and her cd4 count is more than 500. She can still give birth to more healthy children. Many hiv positive mothers are giving birth through vj delivery once those conditions are in place. She deceived you which is very bad and you are free to divorce her because of deceit. Those doctors telling you that you are lucky are not serious truly. You are not positive because she is on drugs and her immune system is high.