SALTandFIRE:
Only the wise can see the undertone of disregard and disrespect in OPs post
disregard and disrespect for both your hubby and baby
undertone of disrespect. If he didn't buy it you don't need to start a fight and call it an argument
you disregard your dad instead of you to listen to him. He knows better than you and how to hand a young man.
you too listen to yourself...read this quote to yourself and tell me how it sounds.! Why should you actions always revolve around arguments fighting ?

Rubbish....Why are u attacking her like this?

Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.

He's cheatin

Caleycash:
on the long run you'll find out you are doing yourself... marriage is not bed of roses, better be prepared oo

If your spouse is not invested in your marriage, what do you do? It takes 2 to tango.

The most sensible advice so far

LadySarah:
Bearing in mind that your name sounds muslim,are you sure a second wife isnt loading?

What needs to be said.
1a.When someone says hurtful things to you during a quarell,that is wht they have been thinking about you.
1b. 5x and you always come back.You are a good woman but Its time to change tactic.

2.The house belongs to both of you.If he says leave,dont leave.If he didnt push you or your stuff out,stay.Dont give him room to keep disrespecting you.Go to the fridge,take enough food then back to the sitting room.Make sure you stretch your legs well on the cushion and watch your favorite movie.You can Play a song and sing away .you can also Run around the house with your bby

If your presence irritates him,then he should leave.If he doesnt come back and the house is rented,make sure you stay till the last day of rentage and go back to ur parents,thats if he refuses to renew it.
Thankfully,their home is opened for you.

3.The baby's welfare should be paramount to both of you.so,if he didnt buy it,both of you should endure the crying.Do not initiate any discussion anymore .

4.At this stage,you shouldnt think of another baby.Theres no peace here.Work on yourselves.

5.Pray.Counselling is also neccessary.If he refuses to go then let him be.
6.If it gets physical,Nne,run!!!!!!!!!! .

PLS,Thankfully you work.Stop these arguments.Ignore him when he tries to provoke you.Dont watch warroom .Pls make yourself happy.You owe it to yourself.Dont let any human define your happiness.

setobaba:


You people should stop hiding under marriage is all about tolerance, for God sake she's also a human.
Madam if you feel you've made the wrong decision by marrying your husband you had better retrace your steps back now, the more days you stay in that marriage, the lower the chances of getting another man quick.
Beside how old is your husband and which tribe?

In your mind now, you have given her advise sheby.

Well, even from one of her reply upthere, I think this is the type of advise she has come for, other than the workable inputs people are making.

So you think the next man will be Jesus Christ, who will not have issues for her to tolerate.

@ Op, granted, ur man is getting hard on u with such level of verbal abuse. It simply means to me he has anger issues and this type of personality that wants to win the argument or get hard on u when arguing, probably cos of u own words of respons in the argument. Is rather unfortunate, sorry about that. but is not a big problem since it has solution and that's the essence of the ideas dropping here.

But let me ask you, so Just 2yrs and you want to run away from your home cos of being disrespected and verbally abused. So you actually think all men and in women in marriages don't have things dey have subdued with wisdom and tact?
What do u think the priest meant that day he said in good and in bad till death do u part. OK u were busy laughing and snapping pictures? Is fine.

When u were dating him didn't u see this issues with his temper? OK u ignored it and was busy strafing up and down?. OK, sorry is part of the decision u made. Just make it work.

See eehh, that guy loves u, but he has a weakness, which is anger, probably made worse by ur mouth and choice of words during ur issues with him. dude doesn't lay hands on u but talks. And for ur arguments to get to where he says all that, is only God that knows what u say to him.

Madam listen and listen good, that marriage working or crashing depends on the wisdom u exhibit in your home affairs.

Already u r craving for attention and care outside. wow!, Really?, So that's part of the solution you provide?
I want to believe u ain't telling us all the story, But I am not interested, just sit back and make ur home work.

If these advise we r giving u sounds to much and impossible, and u feel:

1. u can't tolerate ur man's weakness and deploy workable antics.

2. u can't keep quiet when degeneratable arguments starts.

3. u just can't shut up absolutely,u must reply.

4. u must reply and even use more hurty words cos u want to win the argument or better still hear words and start playing the victim.

5. U can't learn to deal with him with silence on issues that may degenerate.

But prefers things like, eeiyaa, he is a wicked man, he is an abuser, he is a cheat, he's this he is that, he deserves divorce or other shit u obviously want to hear, madam, Oya divorce him and go look for Jesus Christ, who won't have issues u may have to deal with. U think marriage is bed of roses.

Just know that the grass isn't as green as it appears, on the other side. For u to start suspecting ur man all of a sudden, and start craving for love, attention etc outside, yet u don't want to raise a wounded personality in your child, Madam, watch it...

If u say make man and spirit no kill you, don't kill ur self by your self.

I may have sounded mean. But I feel it's the best way to talk about this your mater.

Oya make ur choice between the 2 ideas and have a nice week ahead.

OK bye.

Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.

Unfortunately, you married a lousy boy. Age is not a measure of maturity.


Call his bluff off. What nonsense!

Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.

Next time he tells you to pack out, simply pack out. Never return until he comes pleading with you to return, at this point you state your terms and conditions (in the past, you have packed out, and kept returning yourself). This narrative must change.......


He needs to seek professional help (both of you attending) + state consequences of actions, next time he repeats himself.......

You are been emotionally & psychologically abused..... Although we have not heard your husband’s side of this story (yet). Hopefully, he is also a nairalander........

Do you contribute financially to the marriage? If you do, what percentage (considering all financial commitments)?....

Marriage is never meant to be like this, mutual respect is a key ingredient to make marriage work.........

You said you are very comfortable. He said you are of no value to him. Both of you work!. Does that mean you are the type that believe husband must do all the major spendings and still expect him to respect you.

Please if that is the case, that may be your source of disrespect. He may be hurting too.

Zhuhilat:
It is very easy to say stay, work on it, watch war room. Nobody knows how it feels LITERALLY.
. It is well.

Thanks for the Advice or constructive criticism, I appreciate.

I know how you feel. It is very belittling to b talked down on. Marriage these days comes with a lot of baggages and from what I can see there are certain things about him that he has refused to change. Are there things you tell him in the argument that makes him mad?. I know wot an argument is and I know how many women in the bid to win an argument deviate from the issue and probably say certain things that can deflat a man (feeling it's just normal argument). Understand that it might not b easy for him to manage your excesses too . It's always hard to admit ones deficiencies especially women and you sound like your seeking the easy way out. What you both need is maturity, an argument should b an argument not a verbal war. Ma there are times you can keep quite or simply say sorry when even he is at fault.
In marriage that selfish interest will always creep in it takes maturity to suppress it. The person you are craving for attention still has his own baggage. There are no easy short courts.

elektra:


Somebody needs to make an equivalent of War Room for men
A movie that will provide solution for all their marital problems.
Women cannot be enjoying magical movies alone

Blood and flesh didn't reveal this to you.

Lexusgs430:


Next time he tells you to pack out, simply pack out. Never return until he comes pleading with you to return, at this point you state your terms and conditions (in the past, you have packed out, and kept returning yourself). This narrative must change.......


He needs to seek professional help (both of you attending) + state consequences of actions, next time he repeats himself.......

You are been emotionally & psychologically abused..... Although we have not heard your husband’s side of this story (yet). Hopefully, he is also a nairalander........

Do you contribute financially to the marriage? If you do, what percentage (considering all financial commitments)?....

Marriage is never meant to be like this, mutual respect is a key ingredient to make marriage work.........

Not a good advice. If you have such opportunity , listen carefully to both side of the story or let the complainant highlight wot they too are doing or saying wrong ( which is hard). If an argument degenerates to park out of my house, there's more to it than meets the eye beyond what she says here. They need both matured advice.

yelei:
I'm very sure dis aunty is about to or has been placed on a good dick diet from on street nigga and she's just looking for excuses to kill her guilt...

And given the kind of niggas out there, even the husband will not recognize his wife again when touches her.

Dem go fucck craze comot for her body.

Though, I blame her husband sha.

LadySarah:
Bearing in mind that your name sounds muslim,are you sure a second wife isnt loading?

What needs to be said.
1a.When someone says hurtful things to you during a quarell,that is wht they have been thinking about you.
1b. 5x and you always come back.You are a good woman but Its time to change tactic.

2.The house belongs to both of you.If he says leave,dont leave.If he didnt push you or your stuff out,stay.Dont give him room to keep disrespecting you.Go to the fridge,take enough food then back to the sitting room.Make sure you stretch your legs well on the cushion and watch your favorite movie.You can Play a song and sing away .you can also Run around the house with your bby

If your presence irritates him,then he should leave.If he doesnt come back and the house is rented,make sure you stay till the last day of rentage and go back to ur parents,thats if he refuses to renew it.
Thankfully,their home is opened for you.

3.The baby's welfare should be paramount to both of you.so,if he didnt buy it,both of you should endure the crying.Do not initiate any discussion anymore .

4.At this stage,you shouldnt think of another baby.Theres no peace here.Work on yourselves.

5.Pray.Counselling is also neccessary.If he refuses to go then let him be.
6.If it gets physical,Nne,run!!!!!!!!!! .

PLS,Thankfully you work.Stop these arguments.Ignore him when he tries to provoke you.Dont watch warroom .Pls make yourself happy.You owe it to yourself.Dont let any human define your happiness.

Wow... I am so proud of u... It feels good to read from intelligent people. Some comments here are so annoying that if I had not read this, I would have had serious depression.

Madam look at yourself to know if most source of the argument is you. How can uou start an argument because of baby milk/food? You had a reason for not buying. Maybe he too had one?you come across as cantercarous!

Try to argue less whether u r rite or wrong. Just iignore the urge to argue at that moment. When things calm later on you tell hubby what/how u feel.

123sophocles:
Sorry for your hurt and take it easy ma'am. Every relationship or marriage has its own issues. Please watch War Room.

You should also try going to see a marriage counselor together.

blackboy:
Madam. You are a married woman! A wife ! A mother! You are talking of seeking attention outside. Which is worse? A child seeing her mother a good example of a mother n wife while her husband is not appreciating her 100% or a case she sees her mother as a slut whom her husband does not appreciate?
Madam make it work. He no beat you. No carry you hand commot from house again. Make it work. A man you can ask to buy baby food means you can talk to him. Sit him down and talk to him

So should she die first or continue in this emotional trauma or be infected with sti which he'll probably bring home soon or let the situation degenerate to physical abuse before it dawns on y'all that she needs to leave that mudafuckah like since yesterday?

The biggest scam in Nigeria is the for better for worse lie.

Ask Nigeria and the unequal yoke holding the north and south together

Madam for your peace of mind and mental wellbeing leave that fukker asap


Thank me later

Devil wants to use this woman.. instead of having marital affiar. Just divorce em and enjoy your life ok. Love ko...attention ni...so you tot marriage would be all rosy...u better wake up..nothing is greener out there. Who wants after 1?

MiztaYouneek:


To be honest, its a very sad story you wrote if we are to look at things the way you have stated. But from a very normal perspective, you might also have a problem which is pushing your husband away from you.
I believe you both dated for a while before marriage so you should have seen certain things before going into the marriage but ignored. When you say you both argue a lot honestly that is questionable as well and points a finger to you as an issue because some men don't like when their wives talk back at them especially in a disrespectful manner. So its quite obvious you argue much with him and that might be one of the trigger points why he always want you to leave.

Him telling you that you add no value to him somehow shows that you maybe do nothing to really spice up the relationship between you both at home. Its really deep when a man says that because it means you bore him a lot and at the end you argue with him a lot. These things will push him away gradually and trust me, you thinking you will find happiness somewhere else will shock you and destroy you more because you will only see that happy moment for a while because that thing you have not been able to change about yourself that is pushing your husband away will still push any other person away from you maybe after they have gotten what they want from you and you might end up regretting why you ever left your marriage instead working on it and stop accusing your husband of being at fault.

I can't type much but I hope you build yourself properly to fix your marriage than to break your home expecting to fine happiness somewhere else. Its very rare to see any responsible man now that will with an ex wife very serious.

It depends on the kind of ex wife though.

An ex wife that markets herself well in character and responsibility will get a good husband faster than many singles.

Well, if both of you were grown enough to marry, i think both of you should be grown enough to solve this issue. I'm sure you knew the kind of guy he is before you married him. It's something both y'all need to solve. Nobody on Nairaland can solve this issue.

Moreover, when anyone reports an issue like this, it's better to hear from both parties before anyone can make a deductive conclusion. I recently met a lady who was talking about her marital woes as she painted her husband bad only for me to realize that she was the instigator of the entire ordeal as she was always shouting and insulting the man at will until the man left the house when he couldn't handle it anymore.

Ma'am, I'm not judging you o, i just think we also need to hear what your husband has to say.

Wisdom will not kill you.

Doktajay5:


In your mind now, you have given her advise sheby.

Well, even from one of her reply upthere, I think this is the type of advise she has come for, other than the workable inputs people are making.

So you think the next man will be Jesus Christ, who will not have issues for her to tolerate.

@ Op, granted, ur man is getting hard on u with such level of verbal abuse. It simply means to me he has anger issues and this type of personality that wants to win the argument or get hard on u when arguing, probably cos of u own words of respons in the argument. Is rather unfortunate, sorry about that. but is not a big problem since it has solution and that's the essence of the ideas dropping here.

But let me ask you, so Just 2yrs and you want to run away from your home cos of being disrespected and verbally abused. So you actually think all men and in women in marriages don't have things dey have subdued with wisdom and tact?
What do u think the priest meant that day he said in good and in bad till death do u part. OK u were busy laughing and snapping pictures? Is fine.

When u were dating him didn't u see this issues with his temper? OK u ignored it and was busy strafing up and down?. OK, sorry is part of the decision u made. Just make it work.

See eehh, that guy loves u, but he has a weakness, which is anger, probably made worse by ur mouth and choice of words during ur issues with him. dude doesn't lay hands on u but talks. And for ur arguments to get to where he says all that, is only God that knows what u say to him.

Madam listen and listen good, that marriage working or crashing depends on the wisdom u exhibit in your home affairs.

Already u r craving for attention and care outside. wow!, Really?, So that's part of the solution you provide?
I want to believe u ain't telling us all the story, But I am not interested, just sit back and make ur home work.

If these advise we r giving u sounds to much and impossible, and u feel:

1. u can't tolerate ur man's weakness and deploy workable antics.

2. u can't keep quiet when degeneratable arguments starts.

3. u just can't shut up absolutely,u must reply.

4. u must reply and even use more hurty words cos u want to win the argument or better still hear words and start playing the victim.

5. U can't learn to deal with him with silence on issues that may degenerate.

But prefers things like, eeiyaa, he is a wicked man, he is an abuser, he is a cheat, he's this he is that, he deserves divorce or other shit u obviously want to hear, madam, Oya divorce him and go look for Jesus Christ, who won't have issues u may have to deal with. U think marriage is bed of roses.

Just know that the grass isn't as green as it appears, on the other side. For u to start suspecting ur man all of a sudden, and start craving for love, attention etc outside, yet u don't want to raise a wounded personality in your child, Madam, watch it...

If u say make man and spirit no kill you, don't kill ur self by your self.

I may have sounded mean. But I feel it's the best way to talk about this your mater.

Oya make ur choice between the 2 ideas and have a nice week ahead.

OK bye.

Ruicosta10:

Not a good advice. If you have such opportunity , listen carefully to both side of the story or let the complainant highlight wot they too are doing or saying wrong ( which is hard). If an argument degenerates to park out of my house, there's more to it than meets the eye beyond what she says here. They need both matured advice.

Did you read the part i mentioned listening to the other side?

What would you advice?

Ruicosta10:

Not a good advice. If you have such opportunity , listen carefully to both side of the story or let the complainant highlight wot they too are doing or saying wrong ( which is hard). If an argument degenerates to park out of my house, there's more to it than meets the eye beyond what she says here. They need both matured advice.

This marriage has degenerated so far, that value in the marriage is lost (according to OP).. Unfortunately, you would have to accord her, benefit of doubt......

Let's know how you intend to speak with her husband.........

Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.

I can bet my 10 naira that you are not contributing economically in that home.

You do not add value yet claim equality with him with your arguments.

I can also tell that he is cash strapped and frustrated at your lack of ambition.

Not saying it is all your fault, but please value yourself.

Make something of yourself and the disrespect will go away on its own.

A word is enough....

With the way people are harping on ' Do you contribute financially to the marriage' considering that the op and husband works makes me wonder if being a full time house wife is an excuse to disrespect a woman.

Is it not this same Nigeria that we have seen women become full housewives even if its for a while maybe because of lack of job or something and their husbands never treated them bad.

What if she doesn't contribute financially is that an excuse?

Too much boys on nairaland, wahlahi.

People have suffered oo

Sorry to hear about your marital problems. Haven heard your own side of the story, it's too easy to condemn the man, but I wish to ask; do you respect him? Do you challenge his authority or also belittle him in a way ( women say alot of things in arguments that hurt a man's ego). Its ok to have arguments, but some times is not worth it. Try organising yourself too, inform him in advance for something you or baby needs. Treat him with some level of respect(Men actually feel good when they think they are incharge ) . Lastly how was he before the baby came?

RTSC:

It depends on the kind of ex wife though.

An ex wife that markets herself well in character and responsibility will get a good husband faster than many singles.

You too like theory. Don't give ideas/advise u can't take.

Doktajay5:


In your mind now, you have given her advise sheby.

Well, even from one of her reply upthere, I think this is the type of advise she has come for, other than the workable inputs people are making.

So you think the next man will be Jesus Christ, who will not have issues for her to tolerate.

@ Op, granted, ur man is getting hard on u with such level of verbal abuse. It simply means to me he has anger issues and this type of personality that wants to win the argument or get hard on u when arguing, probably cos of u own words of respons in the argument. Is rather unfortunate, sorry about that. but is not a big problem since it has solution and that's the essence of the ideas dropping here.

But let me ask you, so Just 2yrs and you want to run away from your home cos of being disrespected and verbally abused. So you actually think all men and in women in marriages don't have things dey have subdued with wisdom and tact?
What do u think the priest meant that day he said in good and in bad till death do u part. OK u were busy laughing and snapping pictures? Is fine.

When u were dating him didn't u see this issues with his temper? OK u ignored it and was busy strafing up and down?. OK, sorry is part of the decision u made. Just make it work.

See eehh, that guy loves u, but he has a weakness, which is anger, probably made worse by ur mouth and choice of words during ur issues with him. dude doesn't lay hands on u but talks. And for ur arguments to get to where he says all that, is only God that knows what u say to him.

Madam listen and listen good, that marriage working or crashing depends on the wisdom u exhibit in your home affairs.

Already u r craving for attention and care outside. wow!, Really?, So that's part of the solution you provide?
I want to believe u ain't telling us all the story, But I am not interested, just sit back and make ur home work.

If these advise we r giving u sounds to much and impossible, and u feel:

1. u can't tolerate ur man's weakness and deploy workable antics.

2. u can't keep quiet when degeneratable arguments starts.

3. u just can't shut up absolutely,u must reply.

4. u must reply and even use more hurty words cos u want to win the argument or better still hear words and start playing the victim.

5. U can't learn to deal with him with silence on issues that may degenerate.

But prefers things like, eeiyaa, he is a wicked man, he is an abuser, he is a cheat, he's this he is that, he deserves divorce or other shit u obviously want to hear, madam, Oya divorce him and go look for Jesus Christ, who won't have issues u may have to deal with. U think marriage is bed of roses.

Just know that the grass isn't as green as it appears, on the other side. For u to start suspecting ur man all of a sudden, and start craving for love, attention etc outside, yet u don't want to raise a wounded personality in your child, Madam, watch it...

If u say make man and spirit no kill you, don't kill ur self by your self.

I may have sounded mean. But I feel it's the best way to talk about this your mater.

Oya make ur choice between the 2 ideas and have a nice week ahead.

OK bye.

You've said right my Oga.
Some women know what men go through but comfortably choose to ignore it. She actually thinks a man with just a child go out and refuse to buy baby food for his baby while having the money?

Now the street was flooded and she can't go out, yet she decided on maki g a fuss about it when she could easily have given him the money to buy the infant formula since she claims she works as well.

How do women become burdensome that a man would feel relieved by their exit?

1. A number of them would rather the man slaved to death ti maintain the home while the save up and do what they please with what they earn.

2. Some would encourage meddling from their families like her mom brought in foodstuff to the 'IDP camp' since she got it cheap. ..And you know why this would infuriate a man? Some MIL's would go broadcasting that they are they ones feeding their daughter's husband because of tiny foodstuffs.

3. She could still be having active links with exes or seeming available to explore while being married. After all she wants to seek love outside as she's done with her husband emotionally.

Madam Op, please do as you see fit. I can assure the guy would be as relieved as you are should your marriage end at any time.

LadySarah:
Bearing in mind that your name sounds muslim,are you sure a second wife isnt loading?

What needs to be said.
1a.When someone says hurtful things to you during a quarell,that is wht they have been thinking about you.
1b. 5x and you always come back.You are a good woman but Its time to change tactic.

2.The house belongs to both of you.If he says leave,dont leave.If he didnt push you or your stuff out,stay.Dont give him room to keep disrespecting you.Go to the fridge,take enough food then back to the sitting room.Make sure you stretch your legs well on the cushion and watch your favorite movie.You can Play a song and sing away .you can also Run around the house with your bby

If your presence irritates him,then he should leave.If he doesnt come back and the house is rented,make sure you stay till the last day of rentage and go back to ur parents,thats if he refuses to renew it.
Thankfully,their home is opened for you.

3.The baby's welfare should be paramount to both of you.so,if he didnt buy it,both of you should endure the crying.Do not initiate any discussion anymore .

4.At this stage,you shouldnt think of another baby.Theres no peace here.Work on yourselves.

5.Pray.Counselling is also neccessary.If he refuses to go then let him be.
6.If it gets physical,Nne,run!!!!!!!!!! .

PLS,Thankfully you work.Stop these arguments.Ignore him when he tries to provoke you.Dont watch warroom .Pls make yourself happy.You owe it to yourself.Dont let any human define your happiness.

Well said but d bolded is unacceptable. Just to endure d crying while d baby suffers?

I want to believe he went out to get d baby's food.

Henceforth, plan ahead. Make enough provision for ur baby. Ignore him completely.

Hmmm, the arrogance of Nigerian men at feeling like once the are married they are now mini gods.

My dear, I feel your pain to the points you have not explained. My advise, SWITCH HIM OFF.

You know when you are living with someone like they don’t exist. When he sees that whatever he says is not getting to you anymore, he will stop.
It doesn’t mean you won’t talk to him, you will do all you are to do as a wife and a mother. If he doesn’t buy the baby food, go and buy it. If he doesn’t do what is expected of him, you do it. Start treating him like you don’t need him under his own roof then you will see how he will be the one asking you what can I do for you.

Nigerian men like to torture their wives, be it mentally of physically. It’s not right.

Zhuhilat:
Thanks all. I appreciate.

Truly speaking, i am just tired of it all.
I do not know how a very comfortable young girl, working in the health sector, traveling to different countries for conferences ended up here.

I feel like this is my life now, no light at the end of this tunnel

No my husband isn’t broke we earn really really well and i am not doing baldly either.

My biggest worry is for my child.
Also when is enough is enough?
I dont want to loose myself. I am just 26.

So sorry for ranting but it is better than talking to family members that will gossip about you.

Until your family member sees this on nairaland and makes a PowerPoint presentation off it... family meeting is gonna be lit

Imagine going for a family meeting and one of your amebo aunties or uncle comes with a projector, laptop and power extension rail. 10/10 I would attend that meeting

123sophocles:
Sorry for your hurt and take it easy ma'am. Every relationship or marriage has its own issues. Please watch War Room.

You should also try going to see a marriage counselor together.

that movie is an interesting movie.

men and pride

1st ur husband felt dented when ur mum sent food

2nd only ur dad was against u going back.

I feel because u think u r educated u try to always argue with ur husband...thats why he doesnt want to see u around or he leaves.

Doktajay5:


You too like theory. Don't give ideas/advise u can't take.

Who told you I can't take it?

If I see a hot woman with a decent job and incredible character, I would not marry her because a fool had the distinct luck of marrying her before?

All the Nigerian women that get divorced in Nigeria on a daily basis, are you telling me they are all still single right now?