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My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel - Family (15) - Nairaland

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Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by Skmoda360(m): 7:31am On Oct 14, 2019
LOMBARDY:

Pls Goan sit down...I know someone will come here and blame the lady!
Is she not human? Why must the husband be treating her like garbage if he doesn't f*ck outside?
This is the 5th time she left and returned..that shows she is trying to make it work despite zero efforts from the husband.
Nigerian husband's like feeling like a god at the time

How can he leave the house by 12am without quantitative explanation to his together forever whilst she is still struggling to feed the baby?
didn't she notice all this during courtship, he has anger issue

1 Like

Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by Realhommie(m): 7:32am On Oct 14, 2019
richie240:

You've told us d 'disrespectful' tns he says during arguments, but what abt u? What 'nasty' words do u say?
#2_sides_2_a_coin



ur hubby cuts across as sm1 who lacks patience, an egoistic person. You urself are not better- u have a 'hot' body, aka fire_4_fire personality.
This needn't have resulted into argument talk less of fighting if one of u have bn more mature, patient and forgiving.
At least one of u shd learn to bridle d tongue when d other is agitated.




#Pride, ego!
I for see a 6th, 7th, 8th t
time if u don't work on these two!


You shd learn to forgive/overlook certain tins if u really want ur marriage to last!
Granted he forgot to buy it, and so? What stops u from going to get it there and then/the next day just to prevent argument? Lady, talk true, u sef get ur own for body.


I laff in idoma.
More like cutting d nose to spite the tongue. You think he's cheating, no concrete proof, just speculations.
Let's even assume he's cheating, so infidelity on ur part to get even will salvage ur marriage? Note when d bubble bursts, dts d #perfect prelude to u permanently packing ur bagz and baggage to ur parents house.
Ppl will focus more on ur own adultery more than his.


ur child need not grow up to see u being 'disrespected like this'.
Learn to bridle your tongue, be more forgiving and overlook ur spouses defects the more.
The key to the success of ds marriage lies solely with u.






Here we go again. Why must u argue in d first place. Lady, pls bear it in mind dt he's a man, he's wired differently from u. What a female might consider as reminder might be 'nagging' to a man.
You know d tins dt preceed arguements in ur house/home. Be the proverbial wise woman: work around it.....but most imptly, bridle ur tongue.
Me, I yaff torked my own o. Ehn-ehn
Boss twale for you, you nailed..

For the bolded, i said so already. I'm wondering how so many people missed that aspect of her.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by Torontoparrot(m): 7:34am On Oct 14, 2019
issues like this can’t be resolved right here, you and your husband need to be sat down and talk to. from all you wrote out now , everyone is judging your husband , if the chance is there to ask your husband to talk now , chances may be that they will end up crucifying you instead . so you both need to see a professional marriage counsellor, cos just hearing your own version and leaving his own version out and passing judgment or advise so to speak is not reasonable at all. BOTH OF U SHOULD SEE A PROFESSIONAL MARRIAGE COUNSELLOR

1 Like

Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by Egedegbeincreas(f): 7:35am On Oct 14, 2019
I read your post and I have this to say please,don't get angry at him he's your husband not everyone's husband. Acting without controlling your anger can be deadly most times.These are some of the things I do in my home.I tell myself I am 100% valuable and important because I know my opinion of myself is of utmost importance.. This keeps me going..Expect less from him.Bless him at all times. Because, it trickles down to you and his child.Anger blocks your way,his way,and scatters everything. Be understanding.. If you have a strong influence on him,whatever you want him to be,start doing it in a short while, you will see him easily doing that thing.This has greatly worked for my marriage..Be very careful of third parties you bring in.They either help or destroy your home.. Stick with third parties who wants your home to succeed..Correct him,when he is in his best mood ,he will easily take it..This has also worked for me greatly.. Remember, he's the head of the home you are to submit to him..Never forget this.. Anything with two heads is a monster..I hope this helps..

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by colestephan86: 7:39am On Oct 14, 2019
Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.
I must tell you , this situation isn't peculiar to you or your marriage alone, it happens during the first 2 or 3 years of your marriage , the truth is in many marriages around that's what happens there, but what they do is to make conscious effort to make the marriage work and that's what you need to do too.
You should not just pack your things and leave the house cos of argument , try to be as patient as you can during any arguments and please don't talk back to the point that he will beat you. I trust that your marriage will grow out of this stage soon.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by adontcare(f): 7:39am On Oct 14, 2019
LadySarah:
Bearing in mind that your name sounds muslim,are you sure a second wife isnt loading? undecided undecided undecided

What needs to be said.
1a.When someone says hurtful things to you during a quarell,that is wht they have been thinking about you.
1b. 5x and you always come back.You are a good woman but Its time to change tactic.

2.The house belongs to both of you.If he says leave,dont leave.If he didnt push you or your stuff out,stay.Dont give him room to keep disrespecting you.Go to the fridge,take enough food then back to the sitting room.Make sure you stretch your legs well on the cushion and watch your favorite movie.You can Play a song and sing away grin grin grin.you can also Run around the house with your bby grin grin

If your presence irritates him,then he should leave.If he doesnt come back and the house is rented,make sure you stay till the last day of rentage and go back to ur parents,thats if he refuses to renew it.
Thankfully,their home is opened for you.

3.The baby's welfare should be paramount to both of you.so,if he didnt buy it,both of you should endure the crying.Do not initiate any discussion anymore .

4.At this stage,you shouldnt think of another baby.Theres no peace here.Work on yourselves.

5.Pray.Counselling is also neccessary.If he refuses to go then let him be.
6.If it gets physical,Nne,run!!!!!!!!!! undecided undecided.

PLS,Thankfully you work.Stop these arguments.Ignore him when he tries to provoke you.Dont watch warroom grin grin.Pls make yourself happy.You owe it to yourself.Dont let any human define your happiness.

op listen to this advice please
Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by Rubbiish(m): 7:41am On Oct 14, 2019
blank:
Lock the door and send his clothes out to him. Tell him he is of no importance to you and you have decided to move on. Good luck.

I can't stand such disrespect.
Lock which door? undecided
She should lock the man out of his house?
Your head is truly blank!
Empty head

1 Like

Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by dallenk(m): 7:42am On Oct 14, 2019
OP, this are the kind of people you should run from.. They don't have home and wants some of you that has one to join them... You can make your own war room for men, if it make sense than this your comment we will watch it ok? So, go and relax. Don't spoil sweet home.. keep quite if you can not add value. Ok? Eseun.
elektra:


Somebody needs to make an equivalent of War Room for men
A movie that will provide solution for all their marital problems.
Women cannot be enjoying magical movies alone

1 Like

Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by Slurity(m): 7:48am On Oct 14, 2019
Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.
You married a woman in man's skin but Nothing is too hard for God to correct. Turn to God with serious prayer. 3 days fasting and prayer I suggest. Prayer Point. 1. Oh God my maker, have mercy on me and my marriage and disappoint my enemies. I assure you will have testimony

1 Like

Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by tiredoflife(m): 7:49am On Oct 14, 2019
jossydee1:


You just said rubbish

How are you sure she married for materialism?

Did you read the part that she said they are both working and are very very comfortable?

If you don't have an answer to heal a wounded soul, you keep quiet please.

Keep quiet!

It's good to read with ur mind
We are both working
Most times people dont see these things
Comfort alone doesnt hold a marriage
Before people date based on which secondary school u attend
It moved to which university
Now they marry cos they are both working
Until u all see that materialism is the root of all divorce
U will keep talking as u just did
So to you when people are both working there is no materialism
Ask her why did she marry him
If she answers with all honesty
Therein is the problem
Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by MiztaYouneek(m): 7:55am On Oct 14, 2019
RTSC:

It depends on the kind of ex wife though.

An ex wife that markets herself well in character and responsibility will get a good husband faster than many singles.

Yes true, but trust me its harder now for an ex wife to get a man that will stay forever except she is of very good character and he genuinely loves her. Because if in a case like this, this lady finds another man and gets to still argue with him like she does with the former, that guy will still run away from her one day.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by NoToPile: 7:57am On Oct 14, 2019
coldFLARES1:
You think it is infantile to ask if she contributes financially to maintaining her home since she works?

How easy would you feel if you are required, by your wife who earns, to be solely responsible for all the bills in the home: rent, feeding, healthcare, clothing, security, fees, parents, entertainment.ete.

As for me, I'll resent that wife and see her good for only divorce

I'll assume you're married. Except you earn super-high, there's no way you won't feel cheated if your wife saves all her earnings while she expects you to be absolutely responsible, especially if you live in a large city.

Hope the bolded will still be your opinion if the situation is one of the following

1. Husband is jobless and wife takes all the responsibility till he gets something doing is the husband good for only divorce.
2. Wife doesn't even earn at all.


That aside my post was talking about a wife that doesn't earn anything, does that mean shes good for nothing? and even if she earns it is the mans responsibility she's just assisting thats what guys of these days don't understand.

Its your responsibility to take care of your family, your wife can only help out its not her responsibility.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by chigo4u: 7:57am On Oct 14, 2019
dominique:
Men vowing they can't live in homes owned by their wives should come and see threads like this, they don't want to endure what women have been enduring for centuries. Nobody should have a monopoly of disrespect, if you can't take it, don't give it.

This is just one side of the story. I think op is utterly disrespectful to her husband maybe because according to her, she is successful. She really needs to submit to husband
Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by Emotionss: 8:00am On Oct 14, 2019
[color=#006600][/color]
Octopusssy:
Everything doesn't always have to lead to an argument, unless the both of you are always wanting to get the last word. Sometimes you have to stoop to conquer.

However, making such statements as ''you have zero value to me'' and ordering you to leave at the slightest provocation is totally unacceptable and should not be condoned for any reason.

My take is both of you need to have sense talked into your heads by someone older and more experienced.

The man is an overgrown baby that is possibly cheating on is wife with a woman who is promising him heaven and earth while the wife is possibly an independent woman who does not know when to short up or back down. Both of them are not emotionally and mentally ready/mature enough to marry.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by dallenk(m): 8:00am On Oct 14, 2019
OP, truth be told, You don't need advice from online. (2) Try to do attitude evaluation between you and your husband. There is definately something deep that is making u guys uncomfortable between both of you that you dint discuss here in this your report.

This matter is be young baby food etc. It's a cumulative matter that has being lingering in your home.

Call him, tell him exactly what u do that he doesn't not like and add this that you are ready to change. (that's character evaluation)

Note what he said and tell him too some of his attitude you do not like all in friendly way.

Forget all this talk (He probarbly keeping concubine or the way u people call it.. cheating on you) stop listening to people.

Work on your marriage. You said you are insinuating of looking out for love and respect? Did you keep any perfevt lover man out there? they Don't sell those things dearie, you have to earn them and it's via attitude evaluation and correlation.

It will take u an unlimited effort to find perfect lover at this your level which one does not even exist (No perfect lover). So, don't be deceived. Work on your marriage. Except you want it to fall.

Stop giving excusses. All of us here we do not have 100% perfect marriage or relationships.

Lastly minimize frinds you keep if you have many. Form a winning and loving home team. May heaven help you
Amen.
Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by umurphy: 8:01am On Oct 14, 2019
Madam, I am sorry for what you are experience right now. But it is normal in the building process. Esp with no or little courtship, 2 years not enough to understand each other. 2-5years you will enjoy your patience. You must sacrifice your ego and respect him. Men are like babies, with respect, good sex, he will beg you for forgiveness . Find his soft spot and work on that and dont always like at that negative side. I can authoritatively tell you that he loves you, you are adding great value to his life.
Marriage has no formula, I could have given you. All tried through turbulence before they all settled. Find yours and dont quit too early. Since t he is not abusing you physically everything can still be worked out. That is your house too, so dont leave.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by cjoy4life: 8:04am On Oct 14, 2019
There is nothing wrong in beautiful marriage,all I can see is disrespect,this man needs respect in this marriage,i don't know you guys but fifth time of going to your parent house whenever your guy had an argument under two years of marriage,means you have not dettach yourself from your parent to glue to your new home, 'your mum brought food stuffs and you man was not happy"if you really want to make the marriage to work amend your attitude that lead to argument.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by Rensolar(m): 8:09am On Oct 14, 2019
DONFASZY:


She is d nagging and alfa type dat want to fight n argue wit almost every tin

U are already going for date outside as a woman

Why tribe are u n ur religion

A man is d head of d house n i read disrespectful words already frm u n no sign of lv

U ve left ur matrimonial home 5 times...u r immatured for marriage in d first plc n must u

Dont regret later if u dont make dis marriage work

Go n beg ur husband for forgiveness and stop argument all d time with him

Most divorced single mother regret dere actions after 1 month

Your husband have anger issues and you know it so manipulate him and dont allow intruders to come into your marriage and whoever that is pushing u with bad advise of leaving your husband home is your worst enemy


Stop all this and reconcile with your man


You need a professional counselor to counsel you and your husband and be apologetic too

She's the real problem
Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by Nobody: 8:11am On Oct 14, 2019
elektra:


Somebody needs to make an equivalent of War Room for men
A movie that will provide solution for all their marital problems.
Women cannot be enjoying magical movies alone
Is War Room a Hollywood Movie?
Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by seniormallam(m): 8:17am On Oct 14, 2019
I won't cheat even if I suspect my spouse cheating, I'm a Christian you cannot use ur own waywardness to send me to hell,
Why don't you start smoking because he smoke's, or start drinking because he drink's, but quick to want to start fucking outside because you suspect he's cheating?
Madam find the root cause pls, it took my wife sometime to realized that all my wahala in the house is just because shes not giving me enough peckus and shame cannot let me tell her, but since she's been doing normal, no more quarrel because I don't wanna miss the constant peckus either,
U said you are a Christian, and you want another man foolishness to lead you to great sin?, so God will understand that your husband cheat on you first abi?

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by Khaleell001(m): 8:18am On Oct 14, 2019
Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.

And you think coming online to rant about your marital problems is the solution.
What kind of generation are we breeding?
This is why I still prefer the old ways.
You hardly hear of anything outside their homes or family circle, but this generation of shamelessness think bringing every marial issue online means their problems will be solved immediately.
When you know you were done with the marriage why come online to rant about it?

This level of immaturity being exhibited by people who claim to be mature is very very foolish and nauseating.

I, for one, will never bring my marital issue online no matter what .
Because when I married my wife it never involved netzens so why should they come in now when they were not there in the beginning?
So many people these days don't even sit down to reason before typing rubbish.
I call it rubbish because you don't bring everything to the public when you have people close to you you can readily consult.

And I ask. myself what the reason behind all these stories of my wife this, my husband that and the foolish ones talking about a girlfriend or boyfriend jilting them?
No wonder a scientist once said people will become more foolish as machines will now take the place of their brains.

May God save us from getting married to immature and shamelessness people.
Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by Rubbiish(m): 8:19am On Oct 14, 2019
Rexology:
The level of Jungle justice in Nigeria is alarming and should be checked. A young lady reported her husband's attitude of allegedly disrespecting and disregarding her, without hearing from the husband, judgment is been served against him already. Sadly this is what we have become in this Country.
Since I have not heard from your husband to have a true picture of the situation, I am not in a position to advice you . Beware of the counsels you get from people online or offline. Most people advising you here are either single or had a failed marriage.

In all remember that "a wise woman builds her home but a foolish woman destroys it"
Peace!

God bless!
cc blank

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by Iddfx: 8:23am On Oct 14, 2019
You see that attention your craving out there....just few months out of that house u will be craving to come back into an already occupied house with no space 4u.relax your marriage is still new...work on it

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by abogjohn(m): 8:24am On Oct 14, 2019
LadySarah:
Bearing in mind that your name sounds muslim,are you sure a second wife isnt loading? undecided undecided undecided

What needs to be said.
1a.When someone says hurtful things to you during a quarell,that is wht they have been thinking about you.
1b. 5x and you always come back.You are a good woman but Its time to change tactic.

2.The house belongs to both of you.If he says leave,dont leave.If he didnt push you or your stuff out,stay.Dont give him room to keep disrespecting you.Go to the fridge,take enough food then back to the sitting room.Make sure you stretch your legs well on the cushion and watch your favorite movie.You can Play a song and sing away grin grin grin.you can also Run around the house with your bby grin grin

If your presence irritates him,then he should leave.If he doesnt come back and the house is rented,make sure you stay till the last day of rentage and go back to ur parents,thats if he refuses to renew it.
Thankfully,their home is opened for you.

3.The baby's welfare should be paramount to both of you.so,if he didnt buy it,both of you should endure the crying.Do not initiate any discussion anymore .

4.At this stage,you shouldnt think of another baby.Theres no peace here.Work on yourselves.

5.Pray.Counselling is also neccessary.If he refuses to go then let him be.
6.If it gets physical,Nne,run!!!!!!!!!! undecided undecided.

PLS,Thankfully you work.Stop these arguments.Ignore him when he tries to provoke you.Dont watch warroom grin grin.Pls make yourself happy.You owe it to yourself.Dont let any human define your happiness.

come and marry me. Am looking for a wife. Please
Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by seniormallam(m): 8:29am On Oct 14, 2019
In my office all the slay queens used to wonder how come those no makeup, four clothes, two shoes and one cap weaving ladies sends wedding invites back to back.
Who wanna marry, I cannot take shit from any man kind of lady, you talk one I talk my own back ladies,
He didn't buy baby food, pls did you ask why?
A man that cannot pray will now go and marry a spiritually empty lady, then tomorrow their children will start posting nudes online as if they fell from heaven and didn't grew up under a family.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by Nwogeh: 8:31am On Oct 14, 2019
Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.


Most marriages at early stage pass through turbulent times like this....even something more serious than this but all you need is to walk through this time and you see yourselves using it for comedy later later in life. First five years of every business just like marriage is always difficult and there is bound to be cracks and people with low emotional quotient easily back off....however if you guys can work on your selves, its very easy to pass through.
Anyway since you are the only one we are talking to here, I advice you work on yourselve first.

There is something my wife did to avoid issues like this, she stopped making issues an argument, she will just pass a message and express dissatisfaction and then keep mute, no matter what I say,, she will just be busy doing her thing, even if she is listening, she won't utter a word, at a time I will be ashamed of myself for talking too much, me too I learnt it and we don't argue anymore, we rather keep mute and when the tempo subside we gist and laugh...some people argue foolishly and some people can't engage reasonably when upset...such people, just avoid that momentous tempo cos they will worsen the situation and talk non sense they will regret.

I must tell you that at early stage of marriage it is natural spouse to prove or show who is in charge. Men are always conscious of that, at early stage, they want to be the head and Wise women will submit, turn to "yes Sir" type of wife at that stage just to assure the man that he is in charge but foolish ones want to calve out area of authority for themselves hence ruin the whole thing.

I must tell you that the secret to securing a man's heart is to totally and consciously show him that he owns you and all you got, with this, he will give you access to even use him as a toil later later....na that time his people go say you used jazz.

If you walk out now, the same thing will still happen to you there and the same thing will still be happening to him after the initial flirting with the new spouse.

Your issue is just a minor one....don't forget that there is a difference between a woman that wants to check if her marriage with someone will work out(just to try) and a woman who closed her doors to go and build her own home.

Less I forget, argument is the preliminary page to domestic violence, so close that book as soon as you read the preliminaries. Avoid argument instead engage in discussions when tempo is low.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by kobarney(m): 8:33am On Oct 14, 2019
LadySarah:
Bearing in mind that your name sounds muslim,are you sure a second wife isnt loading? undecided undecided undecided

What needs to be said.
1a.When someone says hurtful things to you during a quarell,that is wht they have been thinking about you.
1b. 5x and you always come back.You are a good woman but Its time to change tactic.

2.The house belongs to both of you.If he says leave,dont leave.If he didnt push you or your stuff out,stay.Dont give him room to keep disrespecting you.Go to the fridge,take enough food then back to the sitting room.Make sure you stretch your legs well on the cushion and watch your favorite movie.You can Play a song and sing away grin grin grin.you can also Run around the house with your bby grin grin

If your presence irritates him,then he should leave.If he doesnt come back and the house is rented,make sure you stay till the last day of rentage and go back to ur parents,thats if he refuses to renew it.
Thankfully,their home is opened for you.

3.The baby's welfare should be paramount to both of you.so,if he didnt buy it,both of you should endure the crying.Do not initiate any discussion anymore .

4.At this stage,you shouldnt think of another baby.Theres no peace here.Work on yourselves.

5.Pray.Counselling is also neccessary.If he refuses to go then let him be.
6.If it gets physical,Nne,run!!!!!!!!!! undecided undecided.

PLS,Thankfully you work.Stop these arguments.Ignore him when he tries to provoke you.Dont watch warroom grin grin.Pls make yourself happy.You owe it to yourself.Dont let any human define your happiness.


ladysarah, I thought same about the name part. Dear OP, it looks like your husband feels he alone has to make the decision and wants to call the shots. whilst you were young did you by any chance see young kids play football? the owner of the ball was always the coach and captain of both his team and the opposite team. you foul him he says..."give me my ball", you don't allow him score... Give me my ball.. you don't allow his friend play.. GMMB.. you score too much GMMB, you insult of laugh at his skills? what! how dare you.. leave the pitch.. in fact you're not playing my ball again.. Give me my ball! ..then what next? please na... sorry na... he'll not do it again.. just so they can all play. but once another boy gets a ball... everyone leaves Oga GMMB to the new ball boy.. they've had enough.. and new ball boy surely won't be as hard about GMMB like his predecessor. Even when the team plays the old ball.. Oga will not be so hard on them anymore.. why? there are two balls now. the more the balls.. the lesser the "give me my ball" act.

the trick here is.. Oga seems to be the owner of the ball... take care of stuff yourself.. trust me. things will be different. like ladysarah said. don't leave when he asks you to.. take care of your child and self.. do your stuff you do normally... like all you used to do when things are smooth... most importantly... get your own ball... no matter how small but first... Pray.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by opribo(m): 8:33am On Oct 14, 2019
Why did you marry such an insecure man like that.
Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by Khaleell001(m): 8:33am On Oct 14, 2019
Torontoparrot:
issues like this can’t be resolved right here, you and your husband need to be sat down and talk to. from all you wrote out now , everyone is judging your husband , if the chance is there to ask your husband to talk now , chances may be that they will end up crucifying you instead . so you both need to see a professional marriage counsellor, cos just hearing your own version and leaving his own version out and passing judgment or advise so to speak is not reasonable at all. BOTH OF U SHOULD SEE A PROFESSIONAL MARRIAGE COUNSELLOR

Thank you sir.
This is why I think too may immature people are getting married these days.
I particularly hate it when you leave your people and elders at home who know you well enough and bring your marital issues before total strangers who do not know you, your husband or who you are, to consult or comment on your marital life.

People should stop bringing their marital issue here it's really nauseating it reading issues like these everytime.

Just read through the comments you will see those who are not even normal, abnormal, crazy, bad and some who are even just totally off the rails and you think any normal human being can get something reasonable from these comments without getting confused?
Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by dallenk(m): 8:36am On Oct 14, 2019
OP: Don't listen to all this unmarried people. They will tell you they can't take such shit but trust me in their relationship they take shit and even drink urine join am...

Look at the way he analyzed how the lady should behave like say this is nollyhood... This one don watch all those ZeeWorld tire... Awon.eyan Raj & Tufaan... Lol... OP... The last advice here to listen to is from this woman o.. pls. I get u... He can't do this in her own home o if she had one. Pls.. be worned.
LadySarah:
Bearing in mind that your name sounds muslim,are you sure a second wife isnt loading? undecided undecided undecided

What needs to be said.
1a.When someone says hurtful things to you during a quarell,that is wht they have been thinking about you.
1b. 5x and you always come back.You are a good woman but Its time to change tactic.

2.The house belongs to both of you.If he says leave,dont leave.If he didnt push you or your stuff out,stay.Dont give him room to keep disrespecting you.Go to the fridge,take enough food then back to the sitting room.Make sure you stretch your legs well on the cushion and watch your favorite movie.You can Play a song and sing away grin grin grin.you can also Run around the house with your bby grin grin

If your presence irritates him,then he should leave.If he doesnt come back and the house is rented,make sure you stay till the last day of rentage and go back to ur parents,thats if he refuses to renew it.
Thankfully,their home is opened for you.

3.The baby's welfare should be paramount to both of you.so,if he didnt buy it,both of you should endure the crying.Do not initiate any discussion anymore .

4.At this stage,you shouldnt think of another baby.Theres no peace here.Work on yourselves.

5.Pray.Counselling is also neccessary.If he refuses to go then let him be.
6.If it gets physical,Nne,run!!!!!!!!!! undecided undecided.

PLS,Thankfully you work.Stop these arguments.Ignore him when he tries to provoke you.Dont watch warroom grin grin.Pls make yourself happy.You owe it to yourself.Dont let any human define your happiness.

Re: My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel by KosiGee(m): 8:36am On Oct 14, 2019
blackboy:
Madam. You are a married woman! A wife ! A mother! You are talking of seeking attention outside. Which is worse? A child seeing her mother a good example of a mother n wife while her husband is not appreciating her 100% or a case she sees her mother as a slut whom her husband does not appreciate?
Madam make it work. He no beat you. No carry you hand commot from house again. Make it work. A man you can ask to buy baby food means you can talk to him. Sit him down and talk to him

You got 320 + likes for the above. I’m sorry to disagree with your opinion. Any man who repeatedly asks the wife to leave the house over minor issues as stated by the op...(that’s assuming that was exactly what happened and how it happened) is immature and an a**ehole.

He has issues with himself and need to reflect on that. What kind of man fights the wife because his mother in law bought them food stuffs?!!! I mean who does that? He should be very happy and appreciate the act of generosity.

Many mother in-laws wants to take but this one was a giver but this man was grumpy and truculent over that. What kind of man is he?

The woman wants peace but the man isn’t ready for that. What makes you think that it’s the job of a woman to endure, suppress emotions and work hard to tolerate a man who isn’t mature and ready for a relationship and marriage...and what makes you think that it’s wrong for a woman to seek love and attention outside of the man is being unreasonably difficult to deal with and live with?

Lots of Nigerian men do not know and appreciate how lucky and blessed that they are. In some countries, this man would be forced by the environment and law to be cool headed. He will be the one to calm down and work to make his marriage work because such rantings and threats would result in the police or social workers intervening and asking him to leave the house.
If this woman was my sister, I’ll be meeting this man for a serious talk and if the problem continues, sorry I’ll be meeting with my family and we will be asking the woman to leave him.

What nonsense!

1 Like

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