₦airaland Forum

Omoslim26:
oboy e yee see fraustration oh guy no be me do you nah
if dat big head of yours is not empty you would know by nw dat you shouldnt depend on d government to make ends meet dey there dey find who dey rule upandan no find watin you go do hunger go jst shift your waist there are many legit hustle nd peeps are still making it in dis country but your type blame everyone nd evrytin
me i am a legit hustler nd as a young man i am building a solid financial foundation for myself
who govt help?

Wetin this one de talk sef?
Are you mentally okay?
Can you comprehend properly?

Warri nor de carry last but ordinary to fight for your own oil you nor fit. For your front like this Hausa people de collect your property and you say you nor de carry last, better nor repeat that rubbish again.

Infact, since you've agreed that the Hausas are controlling everything in Nigeria, including Warri, then I nor wan hear Warri nor de carry last for your mouth again.

De there de form Warri boy make one Aboki de steal your God given resources under your nose.

Make thunder fire you there.
Na your papa, get big head.
See this lizard, you never know wetin life de talk, de there de form Warri boy, ODE.

greggng:
It was the day tuition fee was increased and I got angry and decided to challenge the school authority....the whole student backed me up but I never knew it was fake support. All of them graduated and my own result was seized for speaking out against what I perceived as injustice. ...That result was seized for good one year and none of the students called to ask how I am doing ....one day I met one of the students and he was laughing at my condition ....he said , old boy...you go done dey work for chevron by now.....I was embarrass by that statement cos I expect those with result to 've gotten a job not me without result. My joy came the very day I was called to come pick up my result....my HOD sat ,me down and told me a story I cannot forget in a hurry....if you want the story mention me and I will give u the story

I have interest in the story.

xperiencelove:
In my 2nd year in 2011, a guy whom I thought is my friend and a lady planned between themselves to soil my name because I have been writing project software for computer science final year students and making money.
The lady just walked up to me and said I stole her laptop charger, I felt like slapping her but I controlled my emotions. I went ahead to report her to school security and they came to arrest her.
During interrogation, she mentioned this my guy as her witness and the guy was summoned. I was dumbfounded when the guy said I will be the one that stole the charger because I and the lady is the only one in our class using the same charger.
Immediately tear started rolling down from my eyes and I told the guy to remember all what I have done for him (I fed him every evening for over 2 months, taught him how to develop software

Can u guide me on software development? I love programming.

Divay22:
Share it pls

Hmm

Mine happened years back...when I was still a student. I was in year one then and it was on the day of our induction, when we'll be formally introduced to the department.

My HOD, Professors, Docs...my fellow year one coursemates, final years and excos etc in the department were all present...

So as the program went on, our association (Dept) president said it's time for some entertainment and that if anyone of us has a joke to keep the athmosphere lively he should come and get the mic.

Without thinking twice I got up, came to the front and collected the mic from him....then all hell was let loose. I started giving my jokes, the whole auditorium became quiet. As quiet as a church whose pastor is preaching about hell and rapture, and how you'll burn for all eternity in the lake of fire and brimestone.

My jokes turned to sermon, the only difference was that I wasn't using a Bible...I kept on talking and talking believing that I'll will at least hit the jackpot then they'll laugh, and I'll use that opportunity to redeem myself and sign out. Forwhere...

Everyone's eyes was glued to me as though I was some weird creature that just crawled out of the grave...my hands were shaking as I grabbed the mic, I was sweating all over, my voice trembled and I began to stammer...I was wishing that the earth should just open up and swallow me. All the beautiful girls in the dept were just staring at me while I kept fooling myself with the hope that they'll at least smile.

My HOD and lecturers eyes were all fixed on me, I felt like explaining my jokes over and over again to them so that at least they might giggle in case they didn't get it the first time...

After trying in vain to hit the jackpot, our president told me to give him the mic and go back to my seat. That was when our HOD got up and gave me one funny nickname which I will not mention here for reason best known to me....after the nickname prouncement by my HOD, the whole auditorium bursted into a very deep mockery laughter. I tried to safe face by smiling sheepshily. Unfortunately that name stuck on me till I graduated as most people never bothered to know my real name.

The only achievement of that calamity is that it made me popular in the department...all the lecturers, my HOD, even girls all knew me. Even though I failed woefully at comedy I became a local champion.

Thermodynamics:
Make thunder fire you there.
Na your papa, get big head.
See this lizard, you never know wetin life de talk, de there de form Warri boy, ODE.

Oboy i swear if you mad e go fit you
:-D:-D my p head no big
but i sure say your papa head go big pass dis your own dats y him surname na Orilabi:-D
mr Edward Orilabi
you beta no marry dat your galfrnd wey get big head so u no go born hammer head of horror
bcus he be like se big head dey una gene:-D:-D
but you sef y come mention my papa na i no like am oo:-/

NACE13:
Don't mind these hypocrites claiming holier than thou. I remember when I was undergoing my clearance to collect my result for NYSC. I went into student affairs office to sign a form and the lady there refused to sign my clearance form because I was rocking this pair of "crazy jean" trousers.
She was even comparing me to a mad man on the streets, her silly coworkers even joined the assault. I just kept on smiling at her, she even became more irritated because I was smiling/chuckling. I didn't even beg her, after few seconds she decided to sign the form.

I don't know why these people think they have such power to wield around, expecting us to always be at their mercy.

I think some of them are just bitter... perhaps resentful of the youth they’ve lost without making good use of.

taiwoawoniyi:
P1: True. Even on my campus, females are probably the hardest to deal with. They can be unreasonable atimess flexing muscle upandan.

P2: He's just like me. I'm like that. I had to curb my laughter. His ability to find humor in the unlikliest of places may be his coping mechanism.
This one that you are speaking about him in past tense...are you pondering what I'm pondering

Ponderer! Lol

I remember the crazy day l came to school on a armless T-shirt and l was told to go back home from the school gate UNIBUJA Gwags

RaphaellaDD:
It was a lecture free day and a friend of mine called me from school that the result of a very difficult exam was out but everyone had to check his/her scores personally in the lecturer's office. I immediately got up and just threw on clothes without thinking. I wore a corporate skirt, corporate blouse and slippers (I looked very silly). I got to school and was excited because I passed the course and it was then that it dawned on me that I was dressed like an mgbeke feeling funky. I was consoling myself with the thought that it was a lecture free day so people won't be much. Only for me to get to one of the bus stops in school and jam my crush and his group of super cute friends. I nearly died.


2
I was feeling very ill, I had malaria + fever but as an over serious student,I still went for lectures. A few hours in and another symptom developed, you know when you have that nauseous feeling and you're belching disgusting, smelling belches? Yes. So I was talking to my course rep and one rotten belch escaped. The way he exclaimed and asked me if I ate garlic cured the malaria.

Kai, instant malaria cure got me laughing. I am sorry, I just couldn't help it.

Kelvin30286063:
I never thought I'll never share my own cuz I don't want to remember it but I will. Maybe sharing it will help me heal from that painful embarrassment.
We were suppose to have this group presentation at 300L and as always I was group leader. Naturally group leaders will present the topic to the class and the lecturers and the lecturer in charge of the course will award mark to everyone in the group based on the group's performance in the presentation and individual contribution to the assignment.
I don't have problem presenting, Infact I've done that all my school years. I was always group leader so I always present except if the lecturer opted otherwise but that particular course was not my favorite and I don't know nada in it. Infact I hated it so much that I only pick the note whenever I'm trying to sleep and it's not coming. I'll start reading it then sleep go catch me.

Knowing fully well that I was going to present the topic, I decided to cheat. What I did was simple (or so I thought until everything scattered) I recorded all the presentation paper on my phone, bought an earphone and thought to myself that I'll just play it and listen to it while I repeat after it.
To be fair, I practiced it at home several times that I had even memorized all the words and I should have just used that but I was bent on doing what I planned.
D-day came, class was full cuz presentation is always like a test. The marks are awarded and they represent your test.
I got to the stage and played the recording (did as if I wanted to adjust my phone)
Na so wahala start oo. Lecturer was like... What's the topic of your group... (recording don dey play oo)
I said it, I listen, record don go pass introduction, na so I start to dey stammer.
I should have just removed the earpiece from my ears and see if I'll remember some of the words I memorized when I was practicing my scam but I was bent on catching up with this God forsaken recording that was playing so fast.
At a point, I thought of reaching out to my pocket and pausing it a little so I can catch my breath but already everybody was looking at me with shock written all over their faces and taking out my phone was a bad idea.
Everything just scatter. Luckily, one of the group members noticed that I wasn't myself, he quickly took it from me and started explaining the topic. He should have been made the group leader sef since that was he favourite course but na so dem think say na Kelvin fit do am...

Last last, after presentation, the lecturer looked at me and was like, what is wrong with you?
I said nothing sir. He said then that nothing almost cost your group 30 marks. Everybody in class bursted into laughter.
Funny enough, the recording was still playing, how it manage to still be playing when presentation has ended is what baffled me. I must have recorded it really slowly that even if I was repeating after it, I would have sounded like a big fool.

This is really Hilarious bro. I laughed so hard, please get over it already ���. Can I copy and share elsewhere?

tillaman:
My first year in school when I was strolling with this babe, I don spot her from class as soon as lecturer left I just follow the girl we were already Vibing as in I already held her hands damn the palm was so soft and cold I was beginning to imagine getting a mad handjob from her the next day cause I had a dunce roomie then, so as we dey waka naso 1 final year guy park his stupid Honda bulldog beside us and started finessing the babe naso the girl begin blush dude was like is that your brother and she said no that he’s a friend from class, I weak, sha the dude was like how far OG I just feigned a faint smile, the babe sha follow the guy, she just said we will see later, I was just lucky that I had a baseball cap on that day, some crazy boys were already saying bros sorry oo as per say my legs dey shake like Person wey climb Mount Everest, as I reach school gate I sweAr I just fly bike I no even negotiate price, Wey we don dey plan to go her hostel and violate her human rights, that moment I made up my mind to do the same thing to all those freshers too and I did it countless times too!!
The babe sef later carry her kpekus con beg me for house after Puna mileage don high finish for 400 level, she even lived with me for 2 months dey form serious relationship, do my laundry and warm my bed and I didn’t pity that puna I help her increase the mileage

You are a real niggar.

calculator123:
You are a real niggar.

salute boss!!!

It was in OAU, went to law basement to browse, I was rocking my newly bought earpiece, oblivious to me, I had eaten some bread and beans some few hours earlier.
I was just feeling the vibes and beats of the song I was )listening to. People were also much there cuz the network was okay. I was just farting as I liked that day... A friend that was just passing by informed me that people were staring at me and asked what I was doing. I didn't even give him an explanation, packed my stuff and left immediately. I was really embarrassed that day.

Classic1:
This is really Hilarious bro. I laughed so hard, please get over it already ���. Can I copy and share elsewhere?

Sure you can

Am still hitting my head with my hand trying to remember anyone funny/embarrassing moments but I just can't. I was warned by my bestie those days that I was too serious and boring but I didn't listen , now I can't recall anything.

I just wasted fun good school days but I gain academically sha.

CrazyMan:
Hmm

Mine happened years back...when I was still a student. I was in year one then and it was on the day of our induction, when we'll be formally introduced to the department.

My HOD, Professors, Docs...my fellow year one coursemates, final years and excos etc in the department were all present...

So as the program went on, our association (Dept) president said it's time for some entertainment and that if anyone of us has a joke to keep the athmosphere lively he should come and get the mic.

Without thinking twice I got up, came to the front and collected the mic from him....then all hell was let loose. I started giving my jokes, the whole auditorium became quiet. As quiet as a church whose pastor is preaching about hell and rapture, and how you'll burn for all eternity in the lake of fire and brimestone.

My jokes turned to sermon, the only difference was that I wasn't using a Bible...I kept on talking and talking believing that I'll will at least hit the jackpot then they'll laugh, and I'll use that opportunity to redeem myself and sign out. Forwhere...

Everyone's eyes was glued to me as though I was some weird creature that just crawled out of the grave...my hands were shaking as I grabbed the mic, I was sweating all over, my voice trembled and I began to stammer...I was wishing that the earth should just open up and swallow me. All the beautiful girls in the dept were just staring at me while I kept fooling myself with the hope that they'll at least smile.

My HOD and lecturers eyes were all fixed on me, I felt like explaining my jokes over and over again to them so that at least they might giggle in case they didn't get it the first time...

After trying in vain to hit the jackpot, our president told me to give him the mic and go back to my seat. That was when our HOD got up and gave me one funny nickname which I will not mention here for reason best known to me....after the nickname prouncement by my HOD, the whole auditorium bursted into a very deep mockery laughter. I tried to safe face by smiling sheepshily. Unfortunately that name stuck on me till I graduated as most people never bothered to know my real name.

The only achievement of that calamity is that it made me popular in the department...all the lecturers, my HOD, even girls all knew me. Even though I failed woefully at comedy I became a local champion.

Hahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha
People are thinking that am mad here o
This is so hilarious. You made my morning abeg
Your village people follow you enter your induction

webizone:
Kai, instant malaria cure got me laughing. I am sorry, I just couldn't help it.

I av like 3 moments back then in UNILORIN. Chai, lemme go and pen it down .lol

cosmos1440:
Ugly boy claiming to be a female

Homeboy tryna change his gender destiny. He’s really frustrated with the male path..

Now this is the most embarassing of all I have seen today

Kelvin30286063:
I never thought I'll never share my own cuz I don't want to remember it but I will. Maybe sharing it will help me heal from that painful embarrassment.
We were suppose to have this group presentation at 300L and as always I was group leader. Naturally group leaders will present the topic to the class and the lecturers and the lecturer in charge of the course will award mark to everyone in the group based on the group's performance in the presentation and individual contribution to the assignment.
I don't have problem presenting, Infact I've done that all my school years. I was always group leader so I always present except if the lecturer opted otherwise but that particular course was not my favorite and I don't know nada in it. Infact I hated it so much that I only pick the note whenever I'm trying to sleep and it's not coming. I'll start reading it then sleep go catch me.

Knowing fully well that I was going to present the topic, I decided to cheat. What I did was simple (or so I thought until everything scattered) I recorded all the presentation paper on my phone, bought an earphone and thought to myself that I'll just play it and listen to it while I repeat after it.
To be fair, I practiced it at home several times that I had even memorized all the words and I should have just used that but I was bent on doing what I planned.
D-day came, class was full cuz presentation is always like a test. The marks are awarded and they represent your test.
I got to the stage and played the recording (did as if I wanted to adjust my phone)
Na so wahala start oo. Lecturer was like... What's the topic of your group... (recording don dey play oo)
I said it, I listen, record don go pass introduction, na so I start to dey stammer.
I should have just removed the earpiece from my ears and see if I'll remember some of the words I memorized when I was practicing my scam but I was bent on catching up with this God forsaken recording that was playing so fast.
At a point, I thought of reaching out to my pocket and pausing it a little so I can catch my breath but already everybody was looking at me with shock written all over their faces and taking out my phone was a bad idea.
Everything just scatter. Luckily, one of the group members noticed that I wasn't myself, he quickly took it from me and started explaining the topic. He should have been made the group leader sef since that was he favourite course but na so dem think say na Kelvin fit do am...

Last last, after presentation, the lecturer looked at me and was like, what is wrong with you?
I said nothing sir. He said then that nothing almost cost your group 30 marks. Everybody in class bursted into laughter.
Funny enough, the recording was still playing, how it manage to still be playing when presentation has ended is what baffled me. I must have recorded it really slowly that even if I was repeating after it, I would have sounded like a big fool.

Kelvin30286063:
I never thought I'll never share my own cuz I don't want to remember it but I will. Maybe sharing it will help me heal from that painful embarrassment.
We were suppose to have this group presentation at 300L and as always I was group leader. Naturally group leaders will present the topic to the class and the lecturers and the lecturer in charge of the course will award mark to everyone in the group based on the group's performance in the presentation and individual contribution to the assignment.
I don't have problem presenting, Infact I've done that all my school years. I was always group leader so I always present except if the lecturer opted otherwise but that particular course was not my favorite and I don't know nada in it. Infact I hated it so much that I only pick the note whenever I'm trying to sleep and it's not coming. I'll start reading it then sleep go catch me.

Knowing fully well that I was going to present the topic, I decided to cheat. What I did was simple (or so I thought until everything scattered) I recorded all the presentation paper on my phone, bought an earphone and thought to myself that I'll just play it and listen to it while I repeat after it.
To be fair, I practiced it at home several times that I had even memorized all the words and I should have just used that but I was bent on doing what I planned.
D-day came, class was full cuz presentation is always like a test. The marks are awarded and they represent your test.
I got to the stage and played the recording (did as if I wanted to adjust my phone)
Na so wahala start oo. Lecturer was like... What's the topic of your group... (recording don dey play oo)
I said it, I listen, record don go pass introduction, na so I start to dey stammer.
I should have just removed the earpiece from my ears and see if I'll remember some of the words I memorized when I was practicing my scam but I was bent on catching up with this God forsaken recording that was playing so fast.
At a point, I thought of reaching out to my pocket and pausing it a little so I can catch my breath but already everybody was looking at me with shock written all over their faces and taking out my phone was a bad idea.
Everything just scatter. Luckily, one of the group members noticed that I wasn't myself, he quickly took it from me and started explaining the topic. He should have been made the group leader sef since that was he favourite course but na so dem think say na Kelvin fit do am...

Last last, after presentation, the lecturer looked at me and was like, what is wrong with you?
I said nothing sir. He said then that nothing almost cost your group 30 marks. Everybody in class bursted into laughter.
Funny enough, the recording was still playing, how it manage to still be playing when presentation has ended is what baffled me. I must have recorded it really slowly that even if I was repeating after it, I would have sounded like a big fool.

Guy you funny abeg

Thermodynamics:
Wetin this one de talk sef?
Are you mentally okay?
Can you comprehend properly?

Warri nor de carry last but ordinary to fight for your own oil you nor fit. For your front like this Hausa people de collect your property and you say you nor de carry last, better nor repeat that rubbish again.

Infact, since you've agreed that the Hausas are controlling everything in Nigeria, including Warri, then I nor wan hear Warri nor de carry last for your mouth again.

De there de form Warri boy make one Aboki de steal your God given resources under your nose.

Make thunder fire you there.
Na your papa, get big head.
See this lizard, you never know wetin life de talk, de there de form Warri boy, ODE.

Hours ago when i saw your comment, i felt proud that i wasn't standing alone in this "warri no dey carry late thing " because clearly we are now carrying last and just for me to come back now to see you doing the opposite of what you just said. You could have just ignored him other than this exchange of words. Believe me you spoke the minds of many warri peeps that will come across your comment.
So pls just let it go. Just know you ain't standing alone on this.

movid:
Mine was when I was serving. There was this girl I was really infatuated with that anytime I see her, my gbolaga will surely rise even if it's in the middle of the road because this babe is really endowed. So there was this day we all went to collect food at the kitchen. And behold I saw this babe standing right there at the entrance of the kitchen that there was no way I could avoid her. On sighting me, she greeted me with a soft smile and hence conversation started. Before I know it , my gbolaga started to rise right infront of her. I had no choice than to stoop down. It was in this position I was conversing with her. She was really surprised and was telling me to stand up nao. But she never knw it was because my alaye don rise and I don't want her to be aware. I was in that position for like 15min. Everybody passing was just looking like what's wrong with this bros. It was when my chairman came down tht I got up. The babe was just confused like what's wrong. I just gave her one flimsy excuse. Since tht day anytime I see that babe , if I know I will stop to greet her, I usually make it short and discharge her straight away.

If you miss her, I will tell you this: it may seem impossible but that's the girl you should be marrying.

CrazyMan:
Hmm

Mine happened years back...when I was still a student. I was in year one then and it was on the day of our induction, when we'll be formally introduced to the department.

My HOD, Professors, Docs...my fellow year one coursemates, final years and excos etc in the department were all present...

So as the program went on, our association (Dept) president said it's time for some entertainment and that if anyone of us has a joke to keep the athmosphere lively he should come and get the mic.

Without thinking twice I got up, came to the front and collected the mic from him....then all hell was let loose. I started giving my jokes, the whole auditorium became quiet. As quiet as a church whose pastor is preaching about hell and rapture, and how you'll burn for all eternity in the lake of fire and brimestone.

My jokes turned to sermon, the only difference was that I wasn't using a Bible...I kept on talking and talking believing that I'll will at least hit the jackpot then they'll laugh, and I'll use that opportunity to redeem myself and sign out. Forwhere...

Everyone's eyes was glued to me as though I was some weird creature that just crawled out of the grave...my hands were shaking as I grabbed the mic, I was sweating all over, my voice trembled and I began to stammer...I was wishing that the earth should just open up and swallow me. All the beautiful girls in the dept were just staring at me while I kept fooling myself with the hope that they'll at least smile.

My HOD and lecturers eyes were all fixed on me, I felt like explaining my jokes over and over again to them so that at least they might giggle in case they didn't get it the first time...

After trying in vain to hit the jackpot, our president told me to give him the mic and go back to my seat. That was when our HOD got up and gave me one funny nickname which I will not mention here for reason best known to me....after the nickname prouncement by my HOD, the whole auditorium bursted into a very deep mockery laughter. I tried to safe face by smiling sheepshily. Unfortunately that name stuck on me till I graduated as most people never bothered to know my real name.

The only achievement of that calamity is that it made me popular in the department...all the lecturers, my HOD, even girls all knew me. Even though I failed woefully at comedy I became a local champion.

Guy what is wrong with you na? Do you want me to embarrass myself with laughter in the office?

ezewealth:
After failed attempt of getting babe way i go lure to my za oza room. I remain a virgin till my 500l, i got a fine sweet girl i lured to my oza room.

In my room,we were still touching and kissing.i was squeezing the life out hr breast, spoilt almost all her vintages shit button,
She then put hand under my joggers and pulled out my thomas , as she pulled out my thomas na so i poured all my akamu(sperm) on her. Oboy d gal start my shout and para. "Y did i poured my nonsense on her" dat i am very stupid and she was slapping me up and down, i was begging like mumu, her shouting attracted all my lodge mate, and dey where knocking on my door to knw what happened, she opened the door and narrated the story to dem, she even showed dem d gallon of sperm on her cloth. She told dem "we have even started anything o, she just out my dick and i started pouring nonsense on her". I have never been embarrassed like dat in my whole. U have to see d laugh on everybody's face. I just kept my face like a 5yr old boy that was denied food in a birthday party. D next morning i packed my beg to my guy lodge, told him what happened. For one week my guy just dey laugh me

Crazy

IceColdVeins:
Now this is the most embarassing of all I have seen today

It will be until you read that of CRAZYMAN. Mehn, I literally had tears in my eyes because of laughter.

Homeboiy:
I dey go Coca-Cola(buka) with my guys to go chap
I pass inbetween hall 1 $ 2 ,unfortunately for me I jam one babe weh I know before, she say she wants follow me o cos she know say na food I wan go eat.

We reach buka, this babe demand for Santana ,,2 big raps, without 5 mins she don finish am, I bring one give her she divulge am shaparly, ah one bros just shout, ah guy this your babe dey eat o, shuu, e be like say she never eat since last week, everybody turn look me n her, oh I felt embarrassed on her behalf

Them don give her quick indigestion ��

1EmmyKay:
Embarrassing moment was in 200lvl I'm really a type of student that is lone don't mingle xept if I find a reason to and most times I skip lectures (cos d tfare) cos my lodge is in town.. So most of my coursemates don't really know me or see me face often.
So there was this day we had practical went for the practical then while taking attendance by the supervisor he called my number, i answered present! then he said my face doesn't look familiar then he asked assistant class/dept rep who's a female if she does know me.. Omo na xo this girl ask loudly if am a student of the department!!(My course mates exclaimed 'Haaaa followed by all those silly side talks) Chai I was xo Embarrassed!. I sha mark d attendance. Then the following day went to clear her and tell her if she ever tries such again will not let it go easy with her. Then she apologised.

You sir, must have been way older than your coursemates.

1. It was in my first year ,1st semester in Unilorin, we had this practical test CHM 111 or so then. This particular day I didn't know it was going to be a test, like all other practical days we will be allowed to run the test in the lab den go outside to record our results on a sheet of paper and submit. Usually, people were entering in batches cus we were too much, like 7departments or more taking the course and we were given few minutes to run the salt analysis test on that particular day. I collected my salt ran up and down performing diff.confirmatory tests. I recorded on a rough paper first, silly me. Then within five minutes we were told STOP! i Then I was like WTF, the lecturer was like submit. I asked the guy beside me stupidly, 'did they ask us to submit ni, I thought we wud be allowed to go outside and write ni' . I quickly tried to copy it to a new sheet. Na only matric number and name I write before the woman raised plank of wood on me and shouted submit. I was begging, she said my friend 'are u stupid' submit!! There are other batches outside waiting to come in. I felt dejected that day. As I was coming out friends were asking me how far, I said it was 'fine'. How cud I tell dem what happened exactly? lest I started hearing 'eyah, eyah' sorry. I hate those words mehn. So I went home feeling bad, embarrassed, and unhappy. How was I fool?? I should av been smarter and known better!!! damn!!. Prayed to God to help me because practical test carried 60marks , exam 40. Meaning widout the test , CO dey wait for me already. Fortunately/unfortunately, weeks later a list came out tagged 'missing scripts' which my name was there. after going to the department we were told by the lecturer to come at a particular date after general exams to come and retake the test. I was happy, surely God answers prayers!! On that particular day, I woke up late. naso I Started cooking rice, local man was hungry wanted to eat. Rice was half done . naso I remember that I have a test oo. i off gas. food i no fit chop. it was 10am already, test of 9am Jesus!!. I just quickly put on clothes, took a taxi to the school. on getting to the department, guys were just coming out of the lab. Lord Jesus, they have finished the test. Ahhh, I felt double embarrassment , stood in the lab for few minutes looking dumbfounded, i was peeing inside my trousers!! i was crying inside, how cud this happened to me ??!!! How!!!! . Damn!! first year 1st semester CO, I wept without seeing my result I knew my fate already, what a hard pill. I prayed for miracle make result change for portal make God give another person result to me and dash mine to another, lol miracle no happen o. Cud it have been my village people or my carelessness Till this day I didn't know how I forgot or what came over me. I took the course the next year and had an A tho. But the deed had been done... but Glory be to God in the highest it is now a story.

CrazyMan:
Hmm

Mine happened years back...when I was still a student. I was in year one then and it was on the day of our induction, when we'll be formally introduced to the department.

My HOD, Professors, Docs...my fellow year one coursemates, final years and excos etc in the department were all present...

So as the program went on, our association (Dept) president said it's time for some entertainment and that if anyone of us has a joke to keep the athmosphere lively he should come and get the mic.

Without thinking twice I got up, came to the front and collected the mic from him....then all hell was let loose. I started giving my jokes, the whole auditorium became quiet. As quiet as a church whose pastor is preaching about hell and rapture, and how you'll burn for all eternity in the lake of fire and brimestone.

My jokes turned to sermon, the only difference was that I wasn't using a Bible...I kept on talking and talking believing that I'll will at least hit the jackpot then they'll laugh, and I'll use that opportunity to redeem myself and sign out. Forwhere...

Everyone's eyes was glued to me as though I was some weird creature that just crawled out of the grave...my hands were shaking as I grabbed the mic, I was sweating all over, my voice trembled and I began to stammer...I was wishing that the earth should just open up and swallow me. All the beautiful girls in the dept were just staring at me while I kept fooling myself with the hope that they'll at least smile.

My HOD and lecturers eyes were all fixed on me, I felt like explaining my jokes over and over again to them so that at least they might giggle in case they didn't get it the first time...

After trying in vain to hit the jackpot, our president told me to give him the mic and go back to my seat. That was when our HOD got up and gave me one funny nickname which I will not mention here for reason best known to me....after the nickname prouncement by my HOD, the whole auditorium bursted into a very deep mockery laughter. I tried to safe face by smiling sheepshily. Unfortunately that name stuck on me till I graduated as most people never bothered to know my real name.

The only achievement of that calamity is that it made me popular in the department...all the lecturers, my HOD, even girls all knew me. Even though I failed woefully at comedy I became a local champion.

what was the nick name

Homeboiy:
I dey go Coca-Cola(buka) with my guys to go chap
I pass inbetween hall 1 $ 2 ,unfortunately for me I jam one babe weh I know before, she say she wants follow me o cos she know say na food I wan go eat.

We reach buka, this babe demand for Santana ,,2 big raps, without 5 mins she don finish am, I bring one give her she divulge am shaparly, ah one bros just shout, ah guy this your babe dey eat o, shuu, e be like say she never eat since last week, everybody turn look me n her, oh I felt embarrassed on her behalf

Uniben people

CrazyMan:
Hmm

Mine happened years back...when I was still a student. I was in year one then and it was on the day of our induction, when we'll be formally introduced to the department.

My HOD, Professors, Docs...my fellow year one coursemates, final years and excos etc in the department were all present...

So as the program went on, our association (Dept) president said it's time for some entertainment and that if anyone of us has a joke to keep the athmosphere lively he should come and get the mic.

Without thinking twice I got up, came to the front and collected the mic from him....then all hell was let loose. I started giving my jokes, the whole auditorium became quiet. As quiet as a church whose pastor is preaching about hell and rapture, and how you'll burn for all eternity in the lake of fire and brimestone.

My jokes turned to sermon, the only difference was that I wasn't using a Bible...I kept on talking and talking believing that I'll will at least hit the jackpot then they'll laugh, and I'll use that opportunity to redeem myself and sign out. Forwhere...

Everyone's eyes was glued to me as though I was some weird creature that just crawled out of the grave...my hands were shaking as I grabbed the mic, I was sweating all over, my voice trembled and I began to stammer...I was wishing that the earth should just open up and swallow me. All the beautiful girls in the dept were just staring at me while I kept fooling myself with the hope that they'll at least smile.

My HOD and lecturers eyes were all fixed on me, I felt like explaining my jokes over and over again to them so that at least they might giggle in case they didn't get it the first time...

After trying in vain to hit the jackpot, our president told me to give him the mic and go back to my seat. That was when our HOD got up and gave me one funny nickname which I will not mention here for reason best known to me....after the nickname prouncement by my HOD, the whole auditorium bursted into a very deep mockery laughter. I tried to safe face by smiling sheepshily. Unfortunately that name stuck on me till I graduated as most people never bothered to know my real name.

The only achievement of that calamity is that it made me popular in the department...all the lecturers, my HOD, even girls all knew me. Even though I failed woefully at comedy I became a local champion.

.

Hehe

I can literally feel the embarrassment you felt

Hehehehe

Perhaps you have a different/dark sense of humour

Some Jokes get lost on people who just aren't weird