bukatyne:


Honorarium?

Seriously?

Hahahahahahaha!

I don't think there is anyone that is truly independent.

More married women fit into this generalization than married men.

Plead:


Personally I’ve never fancied the idea. Myself and my brothers live with this ideology even in marriage and we ain’t sad about that.


Now ...general question

Does it make sense to give a working class woman monthly upkeep or whatever that stuff is called ? Upkeep should only come into the equation if your partner is a housewife or so....and doesn’t work



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no. Its nonsense. There are times a man may not be able to provide and the woman becomes the breadwinner. But if u have created the mindset of upkeep. She may have 3m in savings while u have to borrow 450k from friends to pay rent. For those saying men provide traditionally. In a trad setting women dont work.

Plead:


Working wives shouldn’t think of any upkeep or personal allowance.

You probably are yet to understand how women think then.

Husband's money is still the preferred choice for spending on vacations, perfumes, phones, jewelries, cars, electronics. Working wives don't receive salaries with an intention to spend it on things like these.

crackhaus:

More married women fit into this generalization than married men.

There is no independent human being.

I know it is majorly used for finances however in the true sense, nobody is independent.

At best, we have interdepdence where all parties bring something to the table.

ogawisdom:


Jeez they have arrived, ur money our money n my money my money crew

A good wife should even submit her entire salary to her husband and the man will give her sth for upkeeps from there n save the rest for the family

You don’t even have shame.

Plead:


Same way...joint

Btw we have househelps.

Ok, this really works.

Goodluck and look for someone who has same vision.

PrimadonnaO:


You don’t even have shame.

What's wrong with a wife submitting her salary to her husband?

crackhaus:

This is so not a Nigerian thing. Working wives doing chores is still a big discussion in 'most other cultures' as you put it.
Don't let what these chics type here make you think otherwise.

Let's not digress anyway

It is actually not digressing.

It is the reason why an average wife feels my money is my money and my husband's money is our money.

I don't get my views about the West from here, I get it from their forums and blogs.

The people here are Nigerians who at best see the surface/reaction of their cultures.

The West are actually open to housewifery than we are. And it is a Nigerian thing to discard housewives as 'what are they contributing'.

This is one of the reasons they have laws where a non-earning spouse's needs are accommodated and funded by the working party during a divorce.

Our courts only request for welfare from the spouse not with the children.

bukatyne:


What's wrong with a wife submitting her salary to her husband?

Absoultely nothing.....just make sure you as husband read Script.

leokid866:


Absoultely nothing.....just make sure you as husband read Script.

What is read script?

bukatyne:


What is read script?

If you want to read Script raise your hand.....at the end of the day rules and guidelines will be published....follow them accordingly and you shall be able to read.

leokid866:


If you want to read Script raise your hand.....at the end of the day rules and guidelines will be published....follow them accordingly and you shall be able to read.

Plead:


Same way...joint

Btw we have househelps.

No need for upkeep money as she is free to take money from the joint accounts at her own discretion. Men use the monthly upkeep money as a tool to make women submit.

AwkaetitiBabe:
No need for upkeep money as she is free to take money from the joint accounts at her own discretion. Men use the monthly upkeep money as a tool to make women submit.

Funny but true.

Especially when the wives are not earning.

bukatyne:


Funny but true.

Especially when the wives are not earning.

Yes. I pity women who depend on their husband down to little stuffs like money to go to church and offering. Personally I don't see myself that dependent

bukatyne:


It is actually not digressing.

It is the reason why an average wife feels my money is my money and my husband's money is our money.

I don't get my views about the West from here, I get it from their forums and blogs.

The people here are Nigerians who at best see the surface/reaction of their cultures.

The West are actually open to housewifery than we are. And it is a Nigerian thing to discard housewives as 'what are they contributing'.

This is one of the reasons they have laws where a non-earning spouse's needs are accommodated and funded by the working party during a divorce.

Our courts only request for welfare from the spouse not with the children.

Buka what are you typing?

Western women more open to being housewives?
Western courts provide for the needs of non-earning spouses from the earning spouse?

Lol

bukatyne:


There is no independent human being.

I know it is majorly used for finances however in the true sense, nobody is independent.

At best, we have interdepdence where all parties bring something to the table.

We are talking about financial independence in a marriage setting NOT in the true sense of independence.
Where are you going with the deflections?

ogawisdom:
Lol when we should be talking about how much she will bring to the table to settle family bills

Yeah! This part of the world still live and reason in archaic manner. What is the point working as a woman if you can't contribute your quota?. There is nothing wrong in a woman paying some bills in the house. You don't need to wait for your husband before settling such especially during emergencies

bukatyne:


Ok, this really works.

Goodluck and look for someone who has same vision.

What? I’m married

crackhaus:

You probably are yet to understand how women think then.

Husband's money is still the preferred choice for spending on vacations, perfumes, phones, jewelries, cars, electronics. Working wives don't receive salaries with an intention to spend it on things like these.

Neither do I.

I don’t receive salary with the intention of spending it on the frivolities you just mentioned

ednut1:
no. Its nonsense. There are times a man may not be able to provide and the woman becomes the breadwinner. But if u have created the mindset of upkeep. She may have 3m in savings while u have to borrow 450k from friends to pay rent. For those saying men provide traditionally. In a trad setting women dont work.

Meaning men who insist that they’ll give their wives upkeep and also responsible for 100% of spendings shouldn’t allow their wives to work.... in the days of old , only men work (traditional settings ) so if you want to continue claiming traditional then don’t allow your wife work since you’re stressing her

bukatyne:


There is no independent human being.

I know it is majorly used for finances however in the true sense, nobody is independent.

At best, we have interdepdence where all parties bring something to the table.

Why are some women always calling themselves independent “woman” then?

I’m sure you yourself must have at one point or the other tagged yourself an “independent lady”


Cc crackhaus postmann

Plead:


Neither do I.

I don’t receive salary with the intention of spending it on the frivolities you just mentioned

Now do you see the difference between basic male thinking and female thinking?

What you just called frivolities is the second biggest reason for troubled marriages. Those are not frivolities to women

AwkaetitiBabe:
No need for upkeep money as she is free to take money from the joint accounts at her own discretion. Men use the monthly upkeep money as a tool to make women submit.

Plead:

Lol. You get my drift, yes?

Plead:


Why are some women always calling themselves independent “woman” then?

I’m sure you yourself must have at one point or the other tagged yourself an “independent lady”


Cc crackhaus postmann

Being independent does not mean they won't enjoy their husband's financial capabilities.

Plead:


What? I’m married

Ohohoho!

Sorry o.

What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.

Your thread did not sound like you were already married.

crackhaus:

Buka what are you typing?

Western women more open to being housewives?
Western courts provide for the needs of non-earning spouses from the earning spouse?

Lol

She’s somehow right sha ... in the west , if a couple should divorce and one is jobless (during the time of the divorce ) the one that is working will be required to settle the non-working ex so that the ex can find her/his feet until he/she gets a job.

Alimony also comes into the equation... the richer spouse pays money to the lesser earning spouse during divorce (if the other person request for it....men hardly request for alimony if they’re the ones earning less,it’s mostly women who request for it)

Plead:


Why are some women always calling themselves independent “woman” then?

I’m sure you yourself must have at one point or the other tagged yourself an “independent lady”


Cc crackhaus postmann

I thought this thread was to sample opinions which I gave mine.

Except you are an alternate moniker, I have never taken note of this. I am therefore very curious why you would mention postmann in this discussion after alleging l once referred to myself as an independent woman.

I guess there is more then.

Have a great Sunday.

bukatyne:


I thought this thread was to sample opinions which I gave mine.

Except you are an alternate moniker, I have never taken note of this. I am therefore very curious why you would mention postmann in this discussion after alleging l once referred to myself as an independent woman.

I guess there is more then.

Have a great Sunday.

You might have used the term at one point or the other . Not saying you have used it

I’ve seen a lot of women calling themselves “independent woman” on social media (mostly Instagram ,Twitter and here on nairaland ) that’s why I said I’m sure you must have also used the term at one point?

Crackhaus was talking about financial independence in marriage and not the kind of independence you were deviating to.

crackhaus:

Buka what are you typing?

Western women more open to being housewives?
Western courts provide for the needs of non-earning spouses from the earning spouse?

Lol

Ever heard of mommy guilt?

Or the conservative West's interpretation of Titus 2:3?

According to a research, Scandinavian women work less hours and less stressful jobs despite living in the most 'equal' society.

Their housewifery is not like ours. They volunteer for all sorts and revolve their lives around their children.

Alimony.

Plead:


Meaning men who insist that they’ll give their wives upkeep and also responsible for 100% of spendings shouldn’t allow their wives to work.... in the days of old , only men work (traditional settings ) so if you want to continue claiming traditional then don’t allow your wife work since you’re stressing her

Don't join in this gross misinformation which has become an anthem on the pages of the internet. It is a lie.

In the days of our grandparents and great-grandparents, women worked. There are more housewives today than it was in those days.
Farming was the major source of livelihood and who do you think did the harvesting and selling of farm produce in the markets? Women.
Most times it was even across villages miles apart, these women did those things and still handled chores in the home front when they got back.
The men only cultivated the lands and planted, lands which were usually in their backyards.

It wasn't until the missionaries and colonial masters began introducing menial/manual jobs in the form of factories, railway building, construction, etc that men began leaving home to work for salaries.

Don't take my word for it, ask about your ancestral history and confirm this. I know things about my great-grandparents and great-great-grandparents from stories that were passed down. There was NEVER anything like a housewife in those days.