crackhaus:

You're confusing me and yourself.

Let me simplify.

What is more prevalent today in western societies?
Housewives or working wives?

both

BRATISLAVA:
both

Lol

dilodavid:
This should depend largely on the agreement and good relationship between the individuals involved. What applies to family A may not be applicable to family B.

Exactly

Know yourself
And do what works for u

Dasall

ednut1:
100%. Many men can barely have savings while their wives build houses in secret. Is that no madness

Madness

blank:


How about companionship, friendship, being "there" for each other, achieving goals together, etc etc? I'm glad I married my husband. I can't deal with some kind mentality.

I'm happy for you too

@crackhaus:

Please read this article and comments:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/31/opinion/sunday/do-millennial-men-want-stay-at-home-wives.html

I don't think I can cheat because of upkeep money., the only reason that "may" make me cheat is lack of companionship, or loneliness.

Its only the lazy ones that cheats : because of money

bukatyne:
@crackhaus:

Please read this article and comments:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/31/opinion/sunday/do-millennial-men-want-stay-at-home-wives.html

Nice article, you didn't post for me but I enjoyed it, the comments on the article are even far more enlightening.

I am quite sure If I was a woman, I'll never be a stay-at-home wife for any reason. Most people don't see value in any work they can't quantify such as House chores, taking care of kids etc. So Men tend to look down on those roles & I'll definitely not want a Man looking down on me so I rather work & put my children in an expensive day care. So I might not even be needing the "upkeep" except when necessary.

According to the article, the financial advantages of dual-earner couples over male-breadwinner families have increased significantly in recent years --- This is why i hate the narrative of "my money is my money" that Nigerian women always push because It defeats the purpose of dual-earnings which is suppose to make up the financial advantage a couple should have.

The 1950s model of the nuclear family is gone.

Plead:


Meaning men who insist that they’ll give their wives upkeep and also responsible for 100% of spendings shouldn’t allow their wives to work.... in the days of old , only men work (traditional settings ) so if you want to continue claiming traditional then don’t allow your wife work since you’re stressing her

Wrong bro. I think our comments like these are actually making our women lazy these days and not submissive. Who said women dont work back then? Have you asked yourself why most men marry more than 1 wife then? It's because of many farm works. Women actually work then, just that they are more loyal and respectful.

I happen to live with my grannies and even stayed in the village for some years. Women assist their husbands in farming, they sell farm produce, even have shops in markets for their little businesses. With all these they balance everything perfectly with home chores. They dont give attitudes because they see their husbands as their lords in small letter "l". Women now compete with their husbands in other areas except finances. Mind you, then most women have their own separate farms which their husbands only help them to brush and plant/stick yams. The other jobs like weeding, seedlings, harvesting etc are done by the women and their kids. And they still assist their husbands in the main farms. Some are also into fishing, weaving, etc depending on the locality.

Mothers were actually hardworking back then, understood their roles, and respected their husbands as the head of the home just like Jesus christ said. But now they have transferred the respect for their husbands to their "Daddy" in church (Pastors). Average Nigerian wife respects her pastor than her husband.........


Note: still in some parts in Delta state you still see women doing labourers jobs in construction sites while their husbands are at home.....with wrappers on their waist, long chewing sticks in their hands, and bottles of ogogoro on the table playing draft.

bukatyne:
@crackhaus:

Please read this article and comments:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/31/opinion/sunday/do-millennial-men-want-stay-at-home-wives.html

You realize that this article disproves your assertion that westerners prefer the housewife/working husband situation right?
Well for one, the age group in focus are mostly an unmarried age group...hence what they prefer isn't a representation of their own personal experiences but a reaction to being brought up in homes where both of their parents were working.

The article/comments also proved that the male breadwinner/housewife model of the pre-1950s is long gone especially due to economic factors. And guess what, that was about the period the women's rights began to achieve women enfranchisement in the workforce - ergo, more women working. The economy then and now in most parts of the world is just not built suitably to support the housewife/working husband system - double income-earning is necessary.
The millennials who form the bulk of the respondents in the article should get married and see if their preference for one working spouse will not bite them in the ass in the long run.

As stated in the article, American millennials are basically just acting out because they missed seeing their mothers at home when they were growing up and as such, they want the pre-1950's family system for themselves and their future families.
One fact they quickly forget though is that the reason they are college graduates/in college, is because both their parents were working and with enough income to pay for their education, buy them their first car, and give them health insurance.
One person in the comment section said he has children in the younger millennial age group and will not take a survey involving this age group seriously...because if you ask them again 5mins later, they would probably change their minds. That shít killed me

couragemurphy:



Wrong bro. I think our comments like these are actually making our women lazy these days and not submissive. Who said women dont work back then? Have you asked yourself why most men marry more than 1 wife then? It's because of many farm works. Women actually work then, just that they are more loyal and respectful.

I happen to live with my grannies and even stayed in the village for some years. Women assist their husbands in farming, they sell farm produce, even have shops in markets for their little businesses. With all these they balance everything perfectly with home chores. They dont give attitudes because they see their husbands as their lords in small letter "l". Women now compete with their husbands in other areas except finances. Mind you, then most women have their own separate farms which their husbands only help them to brush and plant/stick yams. The other jobs like weeding, seedlings, harvesting etc are done by the women and their kids. And they still assist their husbands in the main farms. Some are also into fishing, weaving, etc depending on the locality.

Mothers were actually hardworking back then, understood their roles, and respected their husbands as the head of the home just like Jesus christ said. But now they have transferred the respect for their husbands to their "Daddy" in church (Pastors). Average Nigerian wife respects her pastor than her husband.........


Note: still in some parts in Delta state you still see the women doing labour's jobs in building sites while their husbands are at home.....with wrappers on their waist, long chewing sticks in their hands, and bottle of ogogoro on the table playing draft.

Man, I don't know who started that bullshít that Nigerian women were housewives in those days. Complete bullshít.

Those women were hardworking (farmwork and/or market women for that matter), and they still kept the home-front (housewife).
It's the newer generation of women that started seeing chores/child-care as a job description in itself.

crackhaus:

Man, I don't know who started that bullshít that Nigerian women were housewives in those days. Complete bullshít.

I dey tellz you. Our women then were actually hardworking. You will see a pregnant woman then almost due for labour still going to farm carrying loads on her head. Nowadays woman wey dey pregnant don get excuse full ground.....smh

couragemurphy:


I dey tellz you. Our women then were actually hardworking. You will see a pregnant woman then almost due for labour still going to farm carrying loads on her head. Nowadays woman wey dey pregnant don get excuse full ground.....smh

Not like we are saying things should not get easier, but these women ought not make it seem like they are the ones who started something new by combining housework with formal employment.
Watching too much Hollywood and Telemundo styled programming has affected their psyche. Soft princess life

Somebody will go to an AC-tight office where she is sitting down most of the time making small talk and gossiping with co-workers, head back home inside a car (not trekking oo), then start complaining of being tired to do anything. Are you mad?

BRATISLAVA:
lol. I don't understand that one. To show off? The way some people reason

the later bro

seanjy4konji:
Majority of Nigerian women are selfish and stingy... They prefer the finish all your money and continue keeping money in hidden places while you nearly bleed to death...

If she eventually brings out anything?? It's because she is hungry and wants to eat and would still make you know you are being borrowed...

They do not need any upkeep money...

If you sugrprise her with gift and hang out cool..well this one on my bed knows am s bastardy when it comes to that... She us paying my bills self.

its not being stingy but financially illiterate based on culture and tradition, tradition requires you look after your wife in all aspects of life, then on the women side she is supposed to look after you based on what he brings on the table

so traditional women are mainly to survive on what the man's brings home, than what both bring home

now because of human development in educating our women and culture and work places being liberal we find women working, just like men but you find someone not adapting the new ways of life, her salary is called MINE and his salary OUR salary


few earn enough salaries that one can say darling your salary is yours, my salary will cover everything

few of those type of women put their salaries to good use eg using her salary for kids college/uni foundation fund or family trust

most women are busy mistreating their husband, just like how their father's used to mistreat their mother, simply because they now have the power tthrough money to make someone jump


upkeep money was also used by some men to control their wives thereby being abusive in certain way

Plead:


Money given to one’s partner for personal /shopping needs etc....some refer to it as monthly allowance from one’s spouse

It shouldn’t be confused with feeding and utility stuffs money .

After you’ve gotten the above definition, does it make any sense to give such to a woman who’s working?

And what does she use her own money for? Abi she no get work?

Plead:


Personally I’ve never fancied the idea. Myself and my brothers live with this ideology even in marriage and we ain’t sad about that.

Now ...general question

Does it make sense to give a working class woman monthly upkeep or whatever that stuff is called ? Upkeep should only come into the equation if your partner is a housewife or so....and doesn’t work

Who is your question directed at?