₦airaland Forum

bukatyne:
I am serious.

I grew up in an all Igbo community (we were just two Yoruba on a very long street) so I have first hand experience on some of their way of life.

We've had a similar discussion where I told you that housewifery or a man fully responsible for home financially is not a Yoruba thing.

In fact, an housewife or financially non-contributing wife is called alabodo (someone you feed to fvck). To not say that there are no outliners.

Igbos however pride themselves in fully financing the home (I see this even in my colleagues with working wives). Growing up, most of the Igbo wives literally did not leave the house except to market or parties while you saw the husbands hustling (legit and non). The downside was that the men's words were law and upon the breakdown of the marriage, the wives did not leave with a pin so the marriage must not break.

Comparing this to pre-colonial times when everyone farmed, where was the cultural shift for them?

Igbos can also pitch in.

sassysure:
U outrightly termed most igbo women party women and women who don't normally leave their houses except to go to market.
Really bukky?

crackhaus:
Clout, nothing else.

They don't know the meaning, one example is Awkaete above.

Never do we hear of "independent man".

bukatyne:
My post was observatory and not degoratory.

Both systems are flawed in my opinion.

The Igbo wife was kept and expected to take care of the home alone. (with or without help though mostly with).

The Yoruba wife went out, contributed to the home financially and still expected to take care of the home alone (with or without help).

The Igbo wife would obviously be more relaxed and receptive to her husband and kids.

sassysure:
Which igbo wife and where?
Is it the igbo wives in anambra, Enugu, imo, abia and ebony states and some other parts of Nigeria?

If I tell you that the Yoruba wives I knew during my short stay in Lagos did nothing except owambe, hardly cook for their kids even though their husbands provided money, or, that they always buy watery beans and bread, groundnut and soaking garri for their kids, won't u say I'm biased meanwhile it's what I observed?
Pls stop talking about what u don't know.

bukatyne:
I am serious.

I grew up in an all Igbo community (we were just two Yoruba on a very long street) so I have first hand experience on some of their way of life.

We've had a similar discussion where I told you that housewifery or a man fully responsible for home financially is not a Yoruba thing.

In fact, an housewife or financially non-contributing wife is called alabodo (someone you feed to fvck). To not say that there are no outliners.

Igbos however pride themselves in fully financing the home (I see this even in my colleagues with working wives). Growing up, most of the Igbo wives literally did not leave the house except to market or parties while you saw the husbands hustling (legit and non). The downside was that the men's words were law and upon the breakdown of the marriage, the wives did not leave with a pin so the marriage must not break.

Comparing this to pre-colonial times when everyone farmed, where was the cultural shift for them?

Igbos can also pitch in.

Plead:


Personally I’ve never fancied the idea. Myself and my brothers live with this ideology even in marriage and we ain’t sad about that.


Now ...general question



Does it make sense to give a working class woman monthly upkeep or whatever that stuff is called ? Upkeep should only come into the equation if your partner is a housewife or so....and doesn’t work



Cc pocohantas, acidosis,crackhaus,lordKO,blessed,lewistherin,luminouz,cococandy,bukatyne,uyii,capslocked,ujujoan2,baby124,blank,eketem,postmann,2buffagain,seahawk,ireneidiva,trustyshoess,Grammarnazi1,,freecocoa,xoxocandy

pocohantas:
Same bullshit,
Different day...

Mtcheew

AwkaetitiBabe:
Cos men are the embodiment of independence.

E.g For the last 5 years or so I've never asked my parents or any husband for money. Does that make me independent? Hell yes! When married, hubby will b d head and cover my bills as I will support him.

If you won't give ur woman money, that's ur own business.

pocohantas:
Same bullshit,
Different day...

Mtcheew

Mogambo123:
If you can't do that, then choose your partner carefully , some men can kill you if you don't submit it , or it leads to divorce. And you might want to stay away from igbo guys .

Providing for their family is a thing of pride , but if they lose their means of livelihood for a while. Then you must submit yours to them , good thing is that they mostly hand it back to you.

LordKO:
You're almost right, however on this "The downside was that the men's words were law and upon the breakdown of the marriage, the wives did not leave with a pin so the marriage must not break." It will always depend on the man's ethical leanings - a humane Igbo man will never leave his wife empty handed in the event of divorce, regardless of who/what caused it and who made the most money in the cause of the marriage/while the marriage lasted. Also, a humane Igbo man will never subjugate his wife, so the wife will always have her voice, strong-minded (independent-minded) Igbo women who're happily married to Igbo men abound everywhere - what's true is this regard is that she'll lose her liberty to crassness in particular and expedient manner in general. Crassness isn't something to brag with.

The family system aristocratic Igbo families have been practicing is akin to what's obtainable in the core Western families - so, you're right where you asserted that "Western women more open to being housewives." There's no shame in being a housewife anywhere in the world, even though, personally, I lean on both sides. Emancipation of women in all facets is attractive, regardless of economic standing of each woman as an individual.

That said, emancipation of women in every facet isn't an issue for me as an egalitarian, however, there's nothing more repulsing than seeing a woman (or a man where and when applicable) working towards emancipation for anything with the sole purpose to subjugate others, those around her, near or far.

Liberty without decorum is a disease - in other words, liberty doesn't negate conscientiousness in particular and altruism in general. The havoc ill-aimed emancipation has caused the family system in particular and the world in general is unquantifiable.

dollytino4real:
ur type too much 4 9ja, women nid deliverance from ur type

pocohantas:
Lol, Sisi, I have never been one to expect "upkeep". Surprisingly, I have also never had a man who liked that part about me. They felt I was too guarded. I had this guy, very modern- cooked his meals, cleaned, never went on and on about submission, has a VERY good job...earning in FCY. All I had to do was be a princess...BUT, he had a problem. He said I don't allow him take care of me. I was confused, I felt we were happy with the model. So I ran to my friend (a guy and a Nlder).

I needed a guy to explain it to me na. He asked some questions and ended with "ehn, allow him care for you na". So, the next time we met, he asked what he would buy for me, I said I was craving pizza, icecream, chocolates, sea food okra, afang soup... He was like "Is that all?", I said "for now" Dude was elated ehn. He bought everything and more. Told me to do this often.

Sisi, all these ones for NL na too much talk wey dey cause headache. Once you have a responsible man, una no go dey get some kind nonsense argument. Now I allow my man be the man- men love to provide for their own. What I don't do is come up with any entitlement mentality.

pocohantas:
Lol, Sisi, I have never been one to expect "upkeep". Surprisingly, I have also never had a man who liked that part about me. They felt I was too guarded. I had this guy, very modern- cooked his meals, cleaned, never went on and on about submission, has a VERY good job...earning in FCY. All I had to do was be a princess...BUT, he had a problem. He said I don't allow him take care of me. I was confused, I felt we were happy with the model. So I ran to my friend (a guy and a Nlder).

I needed a guy to explain it to me na. He asked some questions and ended with "ehn, allow him care for you na". So, the next time we met, he asked what he would buy for me, I said I was craving pizza, icecream, chocolates, sea food okra, afang soup... He was like "Is that all?", I said "for now" Dude was elated ehn. He bought everything and more. Told me to do this often.

Sisi, all these ones for NL na too much talk wey dey cause headache. Once you have a responsible man, una no go dey get some kind nonsense argument. Now I allow my man be the man- men love to provide for their own. What I don't do is come up with any entitlement mentality.

sisisioge:
Oh my! You have two options here...It's either you allow me snatch you bf or find me his exact replica ...the guy na sure husband material!

pocohantas:
See her mouth. You no see the past tense? You can come have him

bukatyne:
@bold:

I can't wrap my head around this.

A husband should tell his wife no for no reason when she seeks his consent to buy something with her money?

Can the wife also say no to the man or he just informs her?

pocohantas:
Why does everyone think I did the "ditching". There was no ditcing joor, life happened. I still get am, na to find im own remain

Acidosis:
I won't say the idea is bad or good but there are times your partner want to discuss a need with you for approvals. Don't just provide a fixed monthly stipend because "you want to be a man".

Allow her seek your consent. Say "NO" to her requests sometimes, with or without a sensible reason. Whether she worked for the money (as in her salary) or not, she still needs your consent sometimes on what or what not to buy.

But ensure you make yourself an example by operating an open-system. What you do with your money should be known.

sisisioge:
Lol! It is well jare...all of us will be alright last last.

bukatyne:
@bold:

I can't wrap my head around this.

A husband should tell his wife no for no reason when she seeks his consent to buy something with her money?

Can the wife also say no to the man or he just informs her?

ogawisdom:
Jeez they have arrived, ur money our money n my money my money crew

A good wife should even submit her entire salary to her husband and the man will give her sth for upkeeps from there n save the rest for the family

Plead:


What the hell

crackhaus:
This is how I always know I'm on a Nigerian forum. I'd be hard pressed to find something like this on Reddit.

Acidosis:
You won't understand the power behind that 'No'. Just read it and pretend you didn't see it.

pocohantas:
Na military ruler. We know his type.

Acidosis:
I won't say the idea is bad or good but there are times your partner want to discuss a need with you for approvals. Don't just provide a fixed monthly stipend because "you want to be a man".

Allow her seek your consent. Say "NO" to her requests sometimes, with or without a sensible reason. Whether she worked for the money (as in her salary) or not, she still needs your consent sometimes on what or what not to buy.

But ensure you make yourself an example by operating an open-system. What you do with your money should be known.

bukatyne:
Wetin be my own?
I nor get time for una innuendos and power play so I stayed clear.