ChiefSweetus:

i was ambivalent until you shared this detail.
at 20 she has not even started lmaoooo. i thought she was like 28 or so, i for even still try dey rationalize.
bro.. honestly, no matter how good her intentions are, she is still a child. she will fhuccccccccc, from now till 30, monogamy or not. her hoe phase has not even begun lmao
"good heart" or not, toss her back into the water o. you will gnash your teeth last last or my name is not amunekeuto 1. i know this type WELL WELL

A 20-year old girl has done all that for a man, and this OP thinks she isn't under the man's thumb? She was manipulated by her ex, emotionally blackmailed to sleep around for him, she is so young that she has most likely not released herself from that chain.

The problem is that she is still too young to say with all sense of certainty that she has changed. One day, the ex boyfriend will walk in and collect his property that he only borrowed to OP, because women do not easily get over their teenage loves.

Forget her past and move on with the relationship. But please, don't use this against her tomorrow when the relationship goes SOUR!!!!!!!

Logan95:

I don't know what she sees in me because honestly I'm not a good person but I have a calm personality.

She told me initially when she started developing feelings for me that she's had one abortion for her ex, I guess she was testing waters before the bombshell. I forgave her instantly because I did not ask and I am also guilty of endorsing abortion with my previous relationships.

She surprisingly volunteers information willingly which I never seen in a girl.

In my head, I know her body count is small compared to mine but I don't know why I'm still pained.

I've asked her if she regrets it and is willing to change with or without me and she replied in affirmation. However, I'll give it time and watch things unfold.

If this is the only issue you have with her, then you no get problem.

You feel pained because you are a guy. We always feel we can have as many body count as we like while ladies should remain virgins. That's why you see guys using the 'master key' analogy (rubbish by the way).

Well, what I have to tell you is not to be judgemental otherwise, you will discourage her honesty with you or the next person she will be in relationship with if you decide to break up with her.

If you decide to continue with her, you must forgive and let go, and never bring such issues (her past) up when you have misunderstanding.

Brother, nobody holy pass. Let LOVE lead!

BarrElChapo:
Bro I believe that this your principles are founded on your faith/beliefs.. I'm a Christian I don't want to infer yours but from your name I'd want to believe we're of the same religion.
Remember the adulterous woman in John 8:1-11
Jesus didn't condemn her eventhough the world did.. Did she commit a sin ? Hell yes! Did it have consequences ? Hell yes ! But is our God a gracious and merciful God ? Ohhh Yes ! What God truly desires is the repentance of a sinner and if its genuine thats all he sees. All He'll say is "go and sin no more" by reason of our human nature we're sinners constantly in need of God's grace towards perfection..
My only concern is this if the OP himself is truly grounded in Christ because what the lady needs is Christ and his grace not to go back into such ways.. I hope you see my perspective.. Cheers !

God bless you !

A common ground has been struck..

You nailed it

She might be testing you to know how truly you lover her. Remember nobody is without past whether rough or smooth. Just be patient with her and try to encourage her because even if you leave her because of the confession she made to you without you asking, do you think the next lady you will take in replacement will be a saint? Pray with her and God will surely answer your prayer.

Thanks

Logan95:

Bros try and read well.... She bought stuffs for her ex.
I am not broke.

You said yourself that she buys you stuff.

Anyway, I think you should hold on to her. She opened up to you because:

1. She trusts you

2. She is comfortable with you

3. She is really into you

4. She doesn't want to be dishonest with you.

5. She wants to leave that past behind and stick with you.
...

If you want to throw all that away, you might regret it later. Her type used to be 214 in Nigeria before 24 got married last weekend. so right now they are just 190 left.

Pls don't break up with her simply on the account of this confession. Don't get carried away either, into believing that she truly loves you to have willingly made the confessions without you asking. If you can handle it, since she started it, ask her all that is still missing concerning her past so as to be able to understand her issues and advice her properly.
Focus more on your present relationship with her and what the future holds for both of you and not on the past because everybody sure have their own baggage.

HarunaWest:

Why is she even apologizing for telling the truth sef...is it cos she told yah,u sef come dey form saint obi. If she kept shut,heaven won't fall @ all....The fact that she confessed,you should respect her the more....The last time I remembered my body count was in the year 2016..twas exactly 52...between then and now,Ave lost count.

Oshey... TUALE BABA!

The main issue is do u love her? If yes u can go on with her as long as she has changed n stays true. Cus if u love a woman u won't judge her like that, n u ve to try n close ur eyes to her past relationships as far as there r no baggages like an illness or otherwise, cus when u r with a woman n she tells you about her past is cus she believes you can handle it.

rossovu:


Bros if she's changed, straight 100% and her love for you is real...forgive her past and keep her... if we check ourselves kpata kpata nobody innocent.

pátápátá no spoil Yoruba for us.

I can relate with you on this cos I have aunts' who are unmarried and are well into their 60s and some who were stood many things on their traditional wedding and another introduction.
My younger sister is in her afternoon newspaper stage of her life and is unmarried and i sometimes fear for her not to end up like our aunts and she definitely won't... that being said;

I must commend you for at least trying to stay true to your moral values as it is the best decision/choice but I want you to know that's it's almost same for both men and women. how do I know I am in that boat.. I was in a relationship last 6years ago and I made a conscious decision to stay morally upright and maintain a non sex relationship until amongst others. But between then and know if i tell you how many heart wrenching experiences I've had from one who claimed had known no man but was having a filled day outside cos she knew I didn't even wanna confirm if she was or wasn't just wanted to be with her for who she was to others who like you but can't commit because of your standards..

Then when you come on here and see that at least 90% of persons here subscribe and are subscribing to it, what I sometimes think to myself is that if I want such relationship, it must be like one week to my wedding night. lolz. I believe if I opened a thread on the kind of relationship I want, you'd may see persons labeling me impotent perhaps !

The lonely nights are there, those times when you really wanna talk to her and not your best buddy are there, the feeling of missing out when your friends are with, talking or chatting with theirs is there, what about when you just wanna share your dreams visions the future with her.. Its a cold and lonely world flying solo you know. But have I given up on love ? nope ! do I believe I'd meet someone someday that believes in what I believe a relationship should be ? yep !. Until then I keep being myself and hoping for the best.. I guess you should too ! it's not your making but it's worth the wait for the right time and the right person.. hope you get some comfort... cheers !

safarigirl:
some people don't even get a first chance, forget the second. It is the most seemingly undeserving that get second chances, while the rest of us are called names for things beyond our helping.

The OP's babe is another one that gets away with it. She will marry, and nobody will call her LovePeddler, nobody will call her evening newspaper, nobody will use all sorts of denigratong words on her because she is Mrs. Somebody, do you know who those words will be saved for? The people who bothered to have moral standards and refused to bend to the wills of the world

Some people only need one chance, and they're not getting it.

Logan95:
She just said I should forgive her that I don't deserve her.

Oga she didn't offend you so there's nothing to forgive.
If you're OK with marrying a lady that's not a virgin what's the dilemma you're in, whatever she's done in the past is in the past, no difference
She's stupid to have told you all that bullshitt. There's absolutely no need for it

I prefer a girl that will look me in the eye and tell me I couldn't control my hormones, wanted to fvck and I fvcked.
We're all humans
Rather than all these emotional blackmail of saying I supported him, I only fvcked him cos we were in a relationship bla bla bla. OK so you were married, and now a divorcee. Carry your load go front front

Is a trap bro, by confessing her sins to you...She wanted to gain your trust in her by doing such thing.. Kindly used your head bro..... Only the legend will better

Logan95:
Good day house.

I meet my girlfriend recently in school, she's an undergraduate student while I'm a post graduate student.

She is a very beautiful girl and well endowed. For the few months we've dated she's one of a kind. She has a good heart, buys me stuffs even though I'm not poor, cleans my house and relates well with my sister to mention a few.

However she told me about her ex, she loved him and supported him financially because he was a student and broke.

We have been going smooth until this night she decided to tell me her past without me asking. She said I am too special but I have to know who she truly is.

She started by saying she's had two abortions for her ex, that she slept with many guys for money which she eventually spent on her ex. I was dumbfounded and I'm in a dilemma now. She just said I should forgive her that I don't deserve her.

I don't know how to tackle this majorly because she confessed without me asking and she did all these before I meet her.

No biggie


if u no want make better pesin wife her.

rossovu:


Bros if she's changed, straight 100% and her love for you is real...forgive her past and keep her... if we check ourselves kpata kpata nobody innocent.

Bruh.. You talk am all!...

Is her kpekus different from others ones you have Knack before?

lilwetdick:
Nigerian men are nice ooh..just because a woman open up all her past life means she loves them....lol

na wa ooh... this is wonderful, be like say una never jam.

no wonder many of you commit suicide

Nigerian men really do like their women.It's just too bad Nigerian women don't feel thesame way about them

Octopusssy:

Buhahahahahaha!!

No you have made spill water all over my desk

Logan95:
Good day house.

I meet my girlfriend recently in school, she's an undergraduate student while I'm a post graduate student.

She is a very beautiful girl and well endowed. For the few months we've dated she's one of a kind. She has a good heart, buys me stuffs even though I'm not poor, cleans my house and relates well with my sister to mention a few.

However she told me about her ex, she loved him and supported him financially because he was a student and broke.

We have been going smooth until this night she decided to tell me her past without me asking. She said I am too special but I have to know who she truly is.

She started by saying she's had two abortions for her ex, that she slept with many guys for money which she eventually spent on her ex. I was dumbfounded and I'm in a dilemma now. She just said I should forgive her that I don't deserve her.

I don't know how to tackle this majorly because she confessed without me asking and she did all these before I meet her.

We all have a past and only few can open up, she loves you truly and wants to be open with you

The issue now is, do you love her to take a bullet for her or do you see her simplicity as being stupid ?

What about getting someone who has the worst secret and kept you in the dark until alarm blows ?

Keep loving her she is open and have no mind to hurt you

Just nurture her to be strong and be a good woman and maintain the character you know her with

If you find peace with her, go ahead

Don't be surprise if she becomes pregnant for you because at this stage their hormones are rushing like tap water

Because of you I joined this forum, stop taking advice from single guys who don't know what life n marriage is all about.
That girl is Gold ,if you don't take her some other guy will. he without sin let them cast the first stone.

how many girls have u slept with.
without using condoms have many babies would you have had by now. and
how many abortions will u have had to do if not for condoms.
she ticks all the wife material boxes forget her past cos we all have one.
Go look for a married friend who has a happy home and ask for advice in confidence.

The fact that she confesses shows how much she loves you.
Give her a chance

Logan95:
Good day house.

I meet my girlfriend recently in school, she's an undergraduate student while I'm a post graduate student.

She is a very beautiful girl and well endowed. For the few months we've dated she's one of a kind. She has a good heart, buys me stuffs even though I'm not poor, cleans my house and relates well with my sister to mention a few.

However she told me about her ex, she loved him and supported him financially because he was a student and broke.

We have been going smooth until this night she decided to tell me her past without me asking. She said I am too special but I have to know who she truly is.

She started by saying she's had two abortions for her ex, that she slept with many guys for money which she eventually spent on her ex. I was dumbfounded and I'm in a dilemma now. She just said I should forgive her that I don't deserve her.

I don't know how to tackle this majorly because she confessed without me asking and she did all these before I meet her.

She's just a fool,some things are better left unsaid..

Logan95:

Bros try and read well.... She bought stuffs for her ex.
I am not broke.

That's how they rush everything, even to comment they rush to comment with out understanding the contents

Logan95:
Good day house.

I meet my girlfriend recently in school, she's an undergraduate student while I'm a post graduate student.

She is a very beautiful girl and well endowed. For the few months we've dated she's one of a kind. She has a good heart, buys me stuffs even though I'm not poor, cleans my house and relates well with my sister to mention a few.

However she told me about her ex, she loved him and supported him financially because he was a student and broke.

We have been going smooth until this night she decided to tell me her past without me asking. She said I am too special but I have to know who she truly is.

She started by saying she's had two abortions for her ex, that she slept with many guys for money which she eventually spent on her ex. I was dumbfounded and I'm in a dilemma now. She just said I should forgive her that I don't deserve her.

I don't know how to tackle this majorly because she confessed without me asking and she did all these before I meet her.

OP you made 3 mistakes:
First u brought your personal problem to NL
Second u brought your personal problem to NL
Third u brought your personal problem to NL
Won't tell you what to do, but give her credit for spilling it to you before you got it from somewhere else. Who among the knw-it-all advisers will volunteer that info to their partner? Everyone is a hoe except them and their siblings. Bro lie down and make a decision. Does her flaw outweigh the joy she brings you? Are u any better? Mind you for every hoe, theres a co-hoe.

What exactly do you want
Do you want to keep her YES or NO

All I know is that a leopard never changes its spot...your call bro

HarunaWest:

Why is she even apologizing for telling the truth sef...is it cos she told yah,u sef come dey form saint obi. If she kept shut,heaven won't fall @ all....The fact that she confessed,you should respect her the more....The last time I remembered my body count was in the year 2016..twas exactly 52...between then and now,Ave lost count.

abeg no kill me with lafta here o

Bro, thank God she opened up for you. You really need to respect her

pocohantas:


Harsh but true. There are situations I would genuinely empathize with.

If I don't know, fine. Pray I never find out.

If I know- forget it. No amount of emotional blackmail and guilt-tripping can make me lower my moral standard. Virgin guys only...

Sense.

Sense is very important in every relationship.

The issue is not sleeping around, the issue is her reason. Very stupid reason to sleep around, it would have even been better if she was using the money to buy handbags and shoes for herself, than to dash money she smashed for, to one yeye boy.

Doesn't he have dick? Is it not his mates that are servicing sugar mummies? Why will she use her pussy and womb to elevate one useless fowl, that went on to throw her away.

I bind senselessness in my life, God gave everybody private parts, I cannot be using my own to work for somebody's son.

Ibrahim79mantu:


Bros, nothing like good girl. just because she revealed her past doesn't make her a bad person. The one you think is a " good girl" may even have done worse.
@ Op , please let us know ur own past, how many girls you've slept with.

If you have done more than 5 girls since you became sexually active , then you also have to reveal your own to her and also apologise.

My two cents

there are good girls, it is like saying all girls are evil and that is impossible, there are bad and good girls likewise bad and good boys.

a man that has stayed with woman for a long time will be able to determine if she is good or bad, action speaks louder than voice.

op you are a weakling to bring such confidential matters to a public forum where direct degrading words will be used on someone who trust you to open up about her past is terrible. Amuofia iberebe

pocohantas:


Harsh but true. There are situations I would genuinely empathize with.

If I don't know, fine. Pray I never find out.

If I know- forget it. No amount of emotional blackmail and guilt-tripping can make me lower my moral standard. Virgin guys only...

Buhahahahahaha!!

No you have made spill water all over my desk