NwaAmaikpe2nd:
We are not depended on him or anyone rather he is because i don't see why he is depended and hellbent on breaking my virginity on the basis or reason of me been fertile or not.
Men i must say are selfish,always dictating and bossy when it comes to relationship.

They tend to forget that women too has equal right too in any relationship.

Who told you a man and a woman has equal right in a relationship?. The man is the head and the woman is his help meet. For your marriage to succeed you need to know your place and be there and your man needs to know his place and be there. Don't enter your marriage with this mentality that you and your husband has equal right otherwise your marriage will suffer. You owe him submission and he owes you love . As for your man, if you are truly sure you are a virgin, talk to someone he respects to talk to him on your behalf. maybe your pastor or somebody. Then make sure you don't have any secret date, because if he finds out that is the end of it.

iamgprince:
I understand your pain but ma ask yourself what if he divorces you later ie after breaking your virginity on the wedding night.
What i am trying to say is is not because your husband was the one to break your virginity that if he wants to divorce you that he won't. So virginity is not an issue of keeping a man now instead it is good behavior or character that can keep a man, besides so many ladies who there marriages are going well were even married as non virgin.
Just like someone said go for medical check-up to ascertain if you are fertile, if you are provide the result to him and see what reason he will give just to break your virginity before the wedding.

He objected to that,wants to ascertain it manually.

totosucker:
Who told you a man and a woman has equal right in a relationship?. The man is the head. Don't enter your marriage with this mentality that you and your husband has equal right otherwise your marriage will suffer.

I don't agree with you on these,because the woman is the neck supporting the head.

That is why there a lot of divorce in marriages and breakups in relationship because men wants to be seen as god and do anyhow.

NwaAmaikpe2nd:
I cherish my pride as a spotless virgin.
Is not about the monetary or pecuniary gains of virginity.

It is about who I am,the person and personality i want my kids to be.
The pride i always cherish everyday of been one of the few different people in this sex saturated world.

I am sad at this your advice.
Pls don't push me into depression.

You didn’t address if this dude is genuine/real. I have seen girls/women who lost their virginity to their husbands which then was a boyfriend. No worries, it’s just one body count.

Your personality won’t change and don’t expect your unborn kids to live like you. This is the mistake most parents do; trying to persuade them to live a particular style/route (you must be a Lawyer or Doctor/ you must be a born again et al).

Are you a born again? Your reply with determine my next advise to you.

RuggedArab:


You didn’t address if this dude is genuine/real. I have seen girls/women who lost their virginity to their husbands which then was a boyfriend. No worries, it’s just one body count.

Your personality won’t change and don’t expect your unborn kids to live like you. This is the mistake most parents do; trying to persuade them to live a particular style/route (you must be a Lawyer or Doctor/ you must be a born again et al).

Are you a born again? Your reply with determine my next advise to you.

I won't choose the career part of my unborn kids.
They will be what they want to be in the future but i won't sit and see them destroy their body all in the name of love or relationship.

And as for the born again part that is for my God to know.

NwaAmaikpe2nd:

I won't choose the career part of my unborn kids.
They will be what they want to be in the future but i won't sit and see them destroy their body all in the name of love or relationship.

And as for the born again part that is for my God to know.

Do you think you can control what your kids do in a relationship? Big No if you think otherwise.

Well, since you don’t know your stance in the other divide you can give him your virginity only on the point that you are fully convinced and he has done the needful.

As for the fertility, even medical results cannot give full assurance if one is fertile or not reason why some men insist the lady must take in. I can’t say on this because I don’t believe in “you must take in” before marriage. Sort yourself out, you are wearing the shoes.

I’m more concerned about the virginity thingy. This your pride isn’t worth 30billion so let the nigga blow the bloody hemen out!!!!!

NwaAmaikpe2nd:
Is not funny pls.

Okay bro

NwaAmaikpe2nd:
Good evening everyone in this forum.

I have a big problem in regards to my relationship with this man I love.

I met him in 2017,two years back to be precise.

It was love at first sight as we both click immediately after an hour conversation with him.

He introduced himself to me as a banker and a senior one at that.

He has always spoil me with money and stuffs.

Though we had kisses but no sex not until now.

He has been pestering me for sex after our family introductions 3 months back.

I have made it clear to him that i will break my virginity until our wedding night but he said No that he has to know if i am fertile before taking me to the altar.

This is tearing our relationship apart and the painful thing is that he is the one sponsoring my brother in tertiary institution and also promise to get me a slot where he works with his position.

I love him but his decision to break my virginity on the basis of fertility is breaking me emotionally and i don't know if i should call it quit with him and damn the consequences or yield to his demand and destroy my personal pride.

Pls what should I do?

4 things here that I could point out that has made you stayed with that man are all for ur personal gains.
1.He spoils you with money and stuffs
2.He promised to get u a job
3.your brother's school bills is on him
4.He's rich and has a good job
With all these point I can say you don't have natural love for this poor man in the first place.Insult me sha,me have said my own.Las las you nor go be first class virgin

My sister I understand what you are saying. Virginity is very vital and very much important, and I could deduce from your write up that you really love this guy and also that he had started the process of marriage. I will like you to plead with him to have a little more patience till after your wedding for him to break your flower. If he is the understanding type, he will wait and also be proud of you for keeping yourself clean till your wedding night.

It's your choice to break the virginity but doing it on the basis of fertility is no good

There are plenty of people who never had sex who still face fertility issues so that's not a reason

If he wants to test your fertility tell him to take you for a check up

Don't do it.. If he love and cherish u he should

wait till after the wedding.. Stand on ur word if he

is a good ood man that decision alone will make

him to love u the more..

BUT.. Make sure u reciprocate with wat u claim to be.. DON'T HURT HIM

I forgot to add this very important line. Why should he be wanting to test your fertility when he knows that you are a virgin? Supposing tomorrow after testing the fertility and the marriage doesn't work, what happens next? Testing your fertility means impregnating you which is a norm among men of now a days. If you weren't a virgin, I would have supported him testing your fertility as girls now may have damaged their wombs from abortion or may have done much abortion that may affect their fertility.

RuggedArab:


Do you think you can control what your kids do in a relationship? Big No if you think otherwise.

Well, since you don’t know your stance in the other divide you can give him your virginity only on the point that you are fully convinced and he has done the needful.

As for the fertility, even medical results cannot give full assurance if one is fertile or not reason why some men insist the lady must take in. I can’t say on this because I don’t believe in “you must take in” before marriage. Sort yourself out, you are wearing the shoes.

I’m more concerned about the virginity thingy. This your pride isn’t worth 30billion so let the nigga blow the bloody hemen out!!!!!

I am won't insult you bro,your advice is okay but sorry that i won't break it.

Guest007:

Okay bro

I am a young lady,don't quote me wrongly.

NwaAmaikpe2nd:
I am a young lady,don't quote me wrongly.

Ok bro

Trimque2k1:

4 things here that I could point out that has made you stayed with that man are all for ur personal gains.
1.He spoils you with money and stuffs
2.He promised to get u a job
3.your brother's school bills is on him
4.He's rich and has a good job
With all these point I can say you don't have natural love for this poor man in the first place.Insult me sha,me have said my own.Las las you nor go be first class virgin

Thanks for your advice all along.
I won't insult you although your comments will want me to do that.

Just be in my shoe,well you won't and can't.

[quote author=Atlanticfire post=83638353]OP, there are men who will do anything to have sex with you and then move on. They can do introduction, bang the babe and then skip.

I think your man just want to taste the cookie and skip. Have you ask him how he intends to check if you are fertile? I guess he wants to bang you continuously until you get pregnant to confirm that you are fertile.

What happens if you don't get pregnant after 1 or 2 years on continuous banging? He will drop you and move on. What if the infertility is from him?

My advice is this, if he wants to check your fertility, both of you should go and see a doctor who will carry out medical checks on both of you to confirm that you are both fertile.



Follow this advice is the best so far

boxer022:
My sister I understand what you are saying. Virginity is very vital and very much important, and I could deduce from your write up that you really love this guy and also that he had started the process of marriage. I will like you to plead with him to have a little more patience till after your wedding for him to break your flower. If he is the understanding type, he will wait and also be proud of you for keeping yourself clean till your wedding night.

Thank you for your empathy.
May your days be crown with laughter.

midnighter:
It's your choice to break the virginity but doing it on the basis of fertility is no good

There are plenty of people who never had sex who still face fertility issues so that's not a reason

If he wants to test your fertility tell him to take you for a check up

Thank you sis for this,i have discussed this with him but hell no he refuse to budge until he has his way with me,men are just sturbborn.

Spaceclenzy1:
Don't do it.. If he love and cherish u he should

wait till after the wedding.. Stand on ur word if he

is a good ood man that decision alone will make

him to love u the more..

BUT.. Make sure u reciprocate with wat u claim to be.. DON'T HURT HIM

Thank you brother,he is sturborn.

boxer022:
I forgot to add this very important line. Why should he be wanting to test your fertility when he knows that you are a virgin? Supposing tomorrow after testing the fertility and the marriage doesn't work, what happens next? Testing your fertility means impregnating you which is a norm among men of now a days. If you weren't a virgin, I would have supported him testing your fertility as girls now may have damaged their wombs from abortion or may have done much abortion that may affect their fertility.

Thank you,thank you.
Your comment is worth it.

Guest007:

Ok bro

I am a woman pls,am not a man,guy or boy ok.

[quote author=clinton21 post=83661091][/quote]Thank you but I will not go with his advice.

1.He has shown that he wants to settle down with me.

2.He has spent a lot and he is still spending.

3.He is a responsible man that has shown commitment to me.

My problem with him is trust on the basis of fertility.
He should know that i cherish my virgin status and should be proud of that.

NwaAmaikpe2nd:
Thank you sis for this,i have discussed this with him but hell no he refuse to budge until he has his way with me,men are just sturbborn.

You're welcome, are you guys religious? Have you tried talking to him from a spiritual angle

At least it would sound strange to a practicing Christian to be pregnant on their wedding day

midnighter:


You're welcome, are you guys religious? Have you tried talking to him from a spiritual angle

At least it would sound strange to a practicing Christian to be pregnant on their wedding day

You re highly welcome too.

He is a practicing christian worshipping with winners chapel while i am a practicing catholic.
So you see that we are both religious but i don't understand why he doesn't see any wrong with pre-marital sex for christ sake.

midnighter:


You're welcome, are you guys religious? Have you tried talking to him from a spiritual angle

At least it would sound strange to a practicing Christian to be pregnant on their wedding day

We are both good christians.
He worship at winners chapel while I worship at a st.leo catholic church.

I don't understand why he is not against pre-marital sex for christ sake.

NwaAmaikpe2nd:
You re highly welcome too.

He is a practicing christian worshipping with winners chapel while i am a practicing catholic.
So you see that we are both religious but i don't understand why he doesn't see any wrong with pre-marital sex for christ sake.

Nawao. Well, you will just have to keep working on him...me I don't know what to say to that

It seems like he is worried about something or he has heard some kind of bad story before somewhere that is making him to try to get a baby from you ahead of time.

Maybe you will find out what's bothering him and explain to him why he has nothing to worry about

Ahmed0336:
Your moniker is enough for me not to take you serious.

Same here I won't even take her serious at all.....she might just be a loose clown ..

NwaAmaikpe2nd:
We are not depended on him or anyone rather he is because i don't see why he is depended and hellbent on breaking my virginity on the basis or reason of me been fertile or not.
Men i must say are selfish,always dictating and bossy when it comes to relationship.

They tend to forget that women too has equal right too in any relationship.

You may think u and your family are not dependent on him but he thinks otherwise.
With your write-up, I can deduce from his state of mind, that he feels he has cornered you already.

Cornered you by going through the introduction process, sponsoring your brother's school fees, taking care of your needs financially. And in his mind he feels, if u don't allow him taste your cookie, he will drop all the financial assistance he has been offering all these while.
And definitely your brother could drop out of school if he's no longer sponsoring him and you will not be able to bear the shame if he cancels the wedding except U do as he says.

My dear, he has cornered you already.

So choose one! Call off his pestering for the pussy and plans on knocking u up with pregnancy because that's the new deal going on in town now. Some devilish men don't mine spending so much to ruin a girls life by impregnating her and disssapearing into thing air. It gives them great joy.
So think very well.

As for me? I will tell him to go to hell if he can't be patient to marry me before getting one pregnant. You are a virgin for Christ sakes! Which one is fertility issues again? Is he God?

You might even be surprised he could be a ritualist waiting to use your virginity for wealth. Or a bloody sadist, waiting to ruin your life.

If you can ? Cut him off! And let your family think of how to sponsor your brother in school and take responsibility immediately.

That man is bad news! Don't place yourself at his mercy.

midnighter:


Nawao. Well, you will just have to keep working on him...me I don't know what to say to that

It seems like he is worried about something or he has heard some kind of bad story before somewhere that is making him to try to get a baby from you ahead of time.

Maybe you will find out what's bothering him and explain to him why he has nothing to worry about

I don't think that anybody has badmouth me to him.

He is a very busy man and he doesn't have time for silly gossip,so i am not thinking in that angle.

He is just sturbborn and am i ready to battle it with him with cogent reasons why his decision on my life is selfish and can not stand.

NwaAmaikpe2nd:
We are both good christians.
He worship at winners chapel while I worship at a st.leo catholic church.

I don't understand why he is not against pre-marital sex for christ sake.

If he's not patient? Please cut him off, for your safety.

Some men these days can do anything for money, especially in spiritual terms.

I know what Im saying.
Don't let his going to church deceive you.

It's a scripted lie. No patience, then the wedding is off.

Behave angry towards him and let him know u ain't scared of cutting loose from everything he has started.
When u behave angry, and defiant. He will have a rethink and either wait til after marriage to have sex if he's sincere or cut off from you knowing his evil plans no work. But before cutting off, he will act some drama of wanting all his money back. Lol

victorian:







You may think u and your family are not dependent on him but he thinks otherwise.
With your write-up, I can deduce from his state of mind, that he feels he has cornered you already.

Cornered you by going through the introduction process, sponsoring your brother's school fees, taking care of your needs financially. And in his mind he feels, if u don't allow him taste your cookie, he will drop all the financial assistance he has been offering all these while.
And definitely your brother could drop out of school if he's no longer sponsoring him and you will not be able to bear the shame if he cancels the wedding except U do as he says.

My dear, he has cornered you already.

So choose one! Call off his pestering for the pussy and plans on knocking u up with pregnancy because that's the new deal going on in town now. Some devilish men don't mine spending so much to ruin a girls life by impregnating her and disssapearing into thing air. It gives them great joy.
So think very well.

As for me? I will tell him to go to hell if he can't be patient to marry me before getting one pregnant. You are a virgin for Christ sakes! Which one is fertility issues again? Is he God?

You might even be surprised he could be a ritualist waiting to use your virginity for wealth. Or a bloody sadist, waiting to ruin your life.

If you can ? Cut him off! And let your family think of how to sponsor your brother in school and take responsibility immediately.

That man is bad news! Don't place yourself at his mercy.

Victorian your good advice is very weighty back with reason and true life happenings.

I don't think is a ritualist or sadist because i know that he is not one for he is financially and religously okay.

But wait you are right on men been wicked and ready to destroy a girl's life despite spending much on her.
I will confront him on his love that if he love me as he claim then he could wait after the wedding.