Update On The Wife Battery Case: She Went Back To The Abusive Man

What's up people? This is an update thread on the wife battery case. This one might also be a bit lengthy, so bear with me. Lots of people have been asking me about the case, and I had to make this update to fill everyone in at once.

So about two weeks ago I brought an issue here about my neighbor who usually watches my four-year-old boy for me.

Read the previous thread here:

https://www.nairaland.com/5483166/wife-battery-should-drop-police

Just a little summary. She's a stay-at-home mom of two with a nursing baby and a boy who is my son's age. I used to leave work to pick the two boys up and take them to her house while I return to my office. I didn't know this before, but her husband is a very abusive man and my son unfortunately witnessed him beat her to near death twice.

The second time, he was the one that called me with her phone and I came and took her to hospital.

The issue then was that she didn't want to go ahead with the police case my husband and I filed for her. The man nearly murdered her and threatened over the phone to kill her if she ever comes back to his house. We had the call recorded but she insisted that he was only angry and would calm down soon enough.


She begged us not to call her family or report to anyone, that she can handle it by herself. One of her friends came to help her in the hospital while I took her one-year-old girl with me. I actually insisted.

,......

So that terrible incident happened on a Friday, while I created the thread on a Sunday. On Thursday, the evil man finally came home. He hadn't called once to ask of his children. His son David was in the hospital and wasn't even going to school that week. I had to take the little baby to my office with me, and my only luck is that she's not the feisty sort.

He didn't come over to my house to check on the girl. I wasn't even sure he knew that she was with me. A fence separates our house and theirs but I heard his car rev in for the first time in days.

My husband and I had decided to bring her family into the case rather than just let it die off like that. We contacted her elder brother without her knowledge and told him everything. They are local people but we felt he would be more enlightened than others. He told us he would take things from there and that we should go and withdraw the police report. At least, we had done our bit and cleared our consciences.

My son kept asking me when David would resume school, but I told him to let David be with his mom. I didn't know how to tell the kid that he wouldn't be staying at David's house after school again. I can't have him in a toxic environment. I'd started picking him up and bringing him back to the office with me, and that's how I intend to keep things for now.


The lady came home last Friday, after about a week in the hospital. She called me everyday to ask after her child and I visited once with the baby while she was still at the hospital. She still has bandages on her arms and face and still can't open her left eye properly. She came to my house in the evening with her younger sister to collect her baby. I noticed she was embarrassed. She just said a word of thanks and demanded for the girl. I packed the girl's things (even the ones I bought with my money) and handed her over.

Before she left, she told me not to worry about David anymore, that she would start going to get him herself. I told her that even though my son returns to my office with me now, I can still pick up her son because I have to pass the street's entrance on my way back to work. She could be waiting for him whenever I'm about to drive by. She said no. That she'll be fine.

Well, we did our bit. We took some pieces of advice here and got her family involved. But we withdrew the police case for peace to reign. The woman has vehemently refused to take her life and kids seriously, but we've done our best. I don't know what her brother did, but I think he spoke to the lady's husband. I remembered seeing her on Thursday when I went to get my son from school. She was waiting to pick up David. I greeted her and offered them a ride. She refused, saying she'll order an O'Trike (Keke Napep that's like Uber).

Well, everybody should dey their own dey. God knows I've tried.

Thank you all for the advice and genuine guidance. For those who were more concerned about my son because of the violence he witnessed, he's fine. He misses playing with David and Sandra, but my network admin has two boys aged 5 and 8 who also hang out in the office after school. At least my son gets to play with them in the conference room. He's happy and I'm keeping him occupied with activities so his mind won't switch on those memories. My husband enrolled him in a new kids' football club and they go to play on Wednesday and Saturday evenings.

The best security a woman can have is her own gainful source of income. If that woman has something doing, I'm not sure she'd go back to an adulterer who beat her with the intent to murder. Women, please be careful with your lives. Think about your kids. If you die, who will look after them? Don't let society pressurize into marrying beasts.

Quite unfortunate when women stay in abusive marriage majorly due to the fact that they are not financially independent.
BTW nobody should ignore red flags of violence in relationship

What a pity


I pray she does not learn the hard way.

Well done OP.

Looks like a suicide mission to me. Or what else can this mean?

There's no way she can say she's staying cos of her kids. No way!!!

Poor kids.

computergeek:

The best security a woman can have is her own gainful source of income. If that woman has something doing, I'm not sure she'd go back to an adulterer who beat her with the intent to murder. Women, please be careful with your lives. Think about your kids. If you die, who will look after them? Don't let society pressurize into marrying beasts.

You are surprised she went back?

What did you think was going to happen especially with this particular story? I mean really.
I read all the comments on that thread all talking about police this, police that, some even talking about how boys should be arranged to go and deal with the man.
That's exactly what the internet does to people - they create another version of the world they live in and pretend that's how it is for real.

My comment to you then was simple - take your child out of the situation, call her friend who she asked for to come to the hospital, and then move on because you had done all you could do.

Meanwhile, you still don't know the full story like I noted on the other thread.
Now the woman is even trying to avoid you, lol. Classic.

Anyway, you try.

It is well oo.

Op leave her alone you tried you have done your best weldone. You can't force people to do what they don't want let her learn the hard way I hope she doesn't get pushed to the wall and harm the man one day and go off to cool her head in prison(something she can avoid now). The husbands knows he married someone suffering from stockholm syndrome hence he does what he does and gets away with it
Allow her sign her death warrant in peace. I don't pity such people because they don't even know what they are going through so they cannot identify help when they see one.

Hmm.

Thats a nice thing you did there.

But when you said the girls family are local. Which means her brother is a local man?






I guess local man should be pleased.

Smh. I don't feel sorry for her anymore then. It's the children who are growing up in such an abusive, violent environment that I feel sorry for. If only they can be removed from that home.

lol, she is avoiding you, the beating never do her.By the time she is honoured with an indelible injury her eyes go clear.

The cycle of abuse is one too difficult to break. Her life, her choice.

computergeek:
What's up people? This is an update thread on the wife battery case. This one might also be a bit lengthy, so bear with me. Lots of people have been asking me about the case, and I had to make this update to fill everyone in at once.

So about two weeks ago I brought an issue here about my neighbor who usually watches my four-year-old boy for me.

Read the previous thread here:

https://www.nairaland.com/5483166/wife-battery-should-drop-police

Just a little summary. She's a stay-at-home mom of two with a nursing baby and a boy who is my son's age. I used to leave work to pick the two boys up and take them to her house while I return to my office. I didn't know this before, but her husband is a very abusive man and my son unfortunately witnessed him beat her to near death twice.

The second time, he was the one that called me with her phone and I came and took her to hospital.

The issue then was that she didn't want to go ahead with the police case my husband and I filed for her. The man nearly murdered her and threatened over the phone to kill her if she ever comes back to his house. We had the call recorded but she insisted that he was only angry and would calm down soon enough.


She begged us not to call her family or report to anyone, that she can handle it by herself. One of her friends came to help her in the hospital while I took her one-year-old girl with me. I actually insisted.


,......


So that terrible incident happened on a Friday, while I created the thread on a Sunday. On Thursday, the evil man finally came home. He hadn't called once to ask of his children. His son David was in the hospital and wasn't even going to school that week. I had to take the little baby to my office with me, and my only luck is that she's not the feisty sort.


He didn't come over to my house to check on the girl. I wasn't even sure he knew that she was with me. A fence separates our house and theirs but I heard his car rev in for the first time in days.


My husband and I had decided to bring her family into the case rather than just let it die off like that. We contacted her elder brother without her knowledge and told him everything. They are local people but we felt he would be more enlightened than others. He told us he would take things from there and that we should go and withdraw the police report. At least, we had done our bit and cleared our consciences.


My son kept asking me when David would resume school, but I told him to let David be with his mom. I didn't know how to tell the kid that he wouldn't be staying at David's house after school again. I can't have him in a toxic environment. I'd started picking him up and bringing him back to the office with me, and that's how I intend to keep things for now.


The lady came home last Friday, after about a week in the hospital. She called me everyday to ask after her child and I visited once with the baby while she was still at the hospital. She still has bandages on her arms and face and still can't open her left eye properly. She came to my house in the evening with her younger sister to collect her baby. I noticed she was embarrassed. She just said a word of thanks and demanded for the girl. I packed the girl's things (even the ones I bought with my money) and handed her over.

Before she left, she told me not to worry about David anymore, that she would start going to get him herself. I told her that even though my son returns to my office with me now, I can still pick up her son because I have to pass the street's entrance on my way back to work. She could be waiting for him whenever I'm about to drive by. She said no. That she'll be fine.


Well, we did our bit. We took some pieces of advice here and got her family involved. But we withdrew the police case for peace to reign. The woman has vehemently refused to take her life and kids seriously, but we've done our best. I don't know what her brother did, but I think he spoke to the lady's husband. I remembered seeing her on Thursday when I went to get my son from school. She was waiting to pick up David. I greeted her and offered them a ride. She refused, saying she'll order an O'Trike (Keke Napep that's like Uber).

Well, everybody should dey their own dey. God knows I've tried.



Thank you all for the advice and genuine guidance. For those who were more concerned about my son because of the violence he witnessed, he's fine. He misses playing with David and Sandra, but my network admin has two boys aged 5 and 8 who also hang out in the office after school. At least my son gets to play with them in the conference room. He's happy and I'm keeping him occupied with activities so his mind won't switch on those memories. My husband enrolled him in a new kids' football club and they go to play on Wednesday and Saturday evenings.


The best security a woman can have is her own gainful source of income. If that woman has something doing, I'm not sure she'd go back to an adulterer who beat her with the intent to murder. Women, please be careful with your lives. Think about your kids. If you die, who will look after them? Don't let society pressurize into marrying beasts.



Lalasticlala, Dominique, Mynd44, Seun, RoyalRoy, Ishilove, Pocohantas.

Women who don’t have a tangible source of income shouldn’t be getting married! They won’t hear ... let them continue rushing into marriage without money/job

97% of women who stay in abusive (physical or emotional ) marriages are staying because they lack funds to get their lives all together again if they leave . They depend on their husbands for survival and as such can’t leave irrespective of the treatment being meted to them . Such a shame

Last last na death go end am

computergeek:
What's up people? This is an update thread on the wife battery case. This one might also be a bit lengthy, so bear with me. Lots of people have been asking me about the case, and I had to make this update to fill everyone in at once.

So about two weeks ago I brought an issue here about my neighbor who usually watches my four-year-old boy for me.

Read the previous thread here:

https://www.nairaland.com/5483166/wife-battery-should-drop-police

Just a little summary. She's a stay-at-home mom of two with a nursing baby and a boy who is my son's age. I used to leave work to pick the two boys up and take them to her house while I return to my office. I didn't know this before, but her husband is a very abusive man and my son unfortunately witnessed him beat her to near death twice.

The second time, he was the one that called me with her phone and I came and took her to hospital.

The issue then was that she didn't want to go ahead with the police case my husband and I filed for her. The man nearly murdered her and threatened over the phone to kill her if she ever comes back to his house. We had the call recorded but she insisted that he was only angry and would calm down soon enough.


She begged us not to call her family or report to anyone, that she can handle it by herself. One of her friends came to help her in the hospital while I took her one-year-old girl with me. I actually insisted.


,......


So that terrible incident happened on a Friday, while I created the thread on a Sunday. On Thursday, the evil man finally came home. He hadn't called once to ask of his children. His son David was in the hospital and wasn't even going to school that week. I had to take the little baby to my office with me, and my only luck is that she's not the feisty sort.


He didn't come over to my house to check on the girl. I wasn't even sure he knew that she was with me. A fence separates our house and theirs but I heard his car rev in for the first time in days.


My husband and I had decided to bring her family into the case rather than just let it die off like that. We contacted her elder brother without her knowledge and told him everything. They are local people but we felt he would be more enlightened than others. He told us he would take things from there and that we should go and withdraw the police report. At least, we had done our bit and cleared our consciences.


My son kept asking me when David would resume school, but I told him to let David be with his mom. I didn't know how to tell the kid that he wouldn't be staying at David's house after school again. I can't have him in a toxic environment. I'd started picking him up and bringing him back to the office with me, and that's how I intend to keep things for now.


The lady came home last Friday, after about a week in the hospital. She called me everyday to ask after her child and I visited once with the baby while she was still at the hospital. She still has bandages on her arms and face and still can't open her left eye properly. She came to my house in the evening with her younger sister to collect her baby. I noticed she was embarrassed. She just said a word of thanks and demanded for the girl. I packed the girl's things (even the ones I bought with my money) and handed her over.

Before she left, she told me not to worry about David anymore, that she would start going to get him herself. I told her that even though my son returns to my office with me now, I can still pick up her son because I have to pass the street's entrance on my way back to work. She could be waiting for him whenever I'm about to drive by. She said no. That she'll be fine.


Well, we did our bit. We took some pieces of advice here and got her family involved. But we withdrew the police case for peace to reign. The woman has vehemently refused to take her life and kids seriously, but we've done our best. I don't know what her brother did, but I think he spoke to the lady's husband. I remembered seeing her on Thursday when I went to get my son from school. She was waiting to pick up David. I greeted her and offered them a ride. She refused, saying she'll order an O'Trike (Keke Napep that's like Uber).

Well, everybody should dey their own dey. God knows I've tried.



Thank you all for the advice and genuine guidance. For those who were more concerned about my son because of the violence he witnessed, he's fine. He misses playing with David and Sandra, but my network admin has two boys aged 5 and 8 who also hang out in the office after school. At least my son gets to play with them in the conference room. He's happy and I'm keeping him occupied with activities so his mind won't switch on those memories. My husband enrolled him in a new kids' football club and they go to play on Wednesday and Saturday evenings.


The best security a woman can have is her own gainful source of income. If that woman has something doing, I'm not sure she'd go back to an adulterer who beat her with the intent to murder. Women, please be careful with your lives. Think about your kids. If you die, who will look after them? Don't let society pressurize into marrying beasts.



Lalasticlala, Dominique, Mynd44, Seun, RoyalRoy, Ishilove, Pocohantas.

For some reasons, I never followed the first thread.

I am concerned about your son: please do not tell him to forget what he witnessed, that memory is etched forever.

Let your hubby use it as an opportunity to teach him right conflict resolution skills, manhood and marriage.

That way, he has seen the bad in that family and the right thing in yours.

It is well.

Plead:


Women who don’t have a tangible source of income shouldn’t be getting married! They won’t hear ... let them continue rushing into marriage without money/job

97% of women who stay in abusive (physical or emotional ) marriages are staying because they lack funds to get their lives all together again if they leave . They depend on their husbands for survival and as such can’t leave irrespective of the treatment being meted to them . Such a shame

I wish you were right.

ANY woman who wants to leave an abusive marriage will do so with or without a job.

Quote me anywhere.

I said it in the other thread that it's hard to help a woman who is not willing to help herself in an abusive marriage. Na experience i dey take talk. Even her brother demanded your husband to withdraw the case from the police. That should tell you something. The husband actually used his money to buy the wife's family. Anything he does with the wife is so pleased by them in as much as he's always giving them money. See, the matter is more than you think. That woman has no where she is going. At this point, be careful cos the woman has even started avoiding you. That tells you that she's seeing you as an enemy already. Don't get close to her again. If you see her sef, ignore her. Just leave her alone. I told you on the other thread that she might later start seeing you as an enemy who wants to chase her out of her marriage and it's happening already. Just be careful and let her be. Don't even take her kids to anywhere again. I have seen it all in face me, I face you house!

So sad.By the Time She dies Or a bodypart is left damaged permanently...

How does one be his or her brothers keeper if no one bothers to stand up for right or wrong. No matter the other side of the story, nothing justifies such battery. Op u have tried. God and the universe itself rewards your type.

crackhaus:

You are surprised she went back?

What did you think was going to happen especially with this particular story? I mean really.
I read all the comments on that thread all talking about police this, police that, some even talking about how boys should be arranged to go and deal with the man.
That's exactly what the internet does to people - they create another version of the world they live in and pretend that's how it is for real.

My comment to you then was simple - take your child out of the situation, call her friend who she asked for to come to the hospital, and then move on because you had done all you could do.

Meanwhile, you still don't know the full story like I noted on the other thread.
Now the woman is even trying to avoid you, lol. Classic.

Anyway, you try.

Asetime:
How does one be his or her brothers keeper if no one bothers to stand up for right or wrong. No matter the other side of the story, nothing justifies such battery. Op u have tried. God and the universe itself rewards your type.

If you don't understand a comment, simply ask for clarification.

No where did I tell her not to be her brothers keeper nor was there any justification on my part, of the physical abuse.

crackhaus:

If you don't understand a comment, simply ask for clarification.

No where did I tell her not to be her brothers keeper nor was there any justification on my part, of the physical abuse.

Your statement about "not knowing the full story" implies so. You don't have to sound all brash to pass a message across.

G

Having a wrong partner is terrible. I have seen so many of them, but they stay in it because of shame - of what people will say about them not been able to keep a marriage, pressure to get married after divorce, being a single mum and taking care of children without financial support, also thinking maybe their partners will change for better etc.

One thing I observed is that a lady doesn't stay in an abusive relationship for no reason, she definitely have one thing keeping her(maybe love or money) . As for me, I don't pray to have an abusive husband or stay in an abusive marriage.

Staying in an abusive marriage is part of 1000 ways to die.

When a man's prick is too oversweet

F

Lets say. Love conquers all. Most of those divorcees are regretting their actions

There is a particularly thing Taking her back!!!





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Nigerian women and marriage. Do or die affair. They see it as everything. Too bad

Mind your business. Very soon we will read her on nl. Husband beats wife to death. Some are destined to be unfortunate in life . Let them be

life is a Borden, everyone has it part to bear.

She’s a virtuous woman.

By NL misogynistic standards.

Maybe she’s on this forum and reads the posts.
Doesn’t want anyone to call her olosho who can’t keep her marriage.

No comment, just RIP in advance.