pocohantas:
Lol. You married "potential"

I love love, but a whole lot of strategy is needed in choosing a life partner. Considering humans are the most difficult and complex living things to handle.

Please, continue to support your Mr Potential.

I am sure you are one of those that comments YES on threads asking if you can marry an efulefu. An efulefu with zero drive and a 1001 delusions. Well, you have to be the "man"- till he hammers or wakes from his dream.

Poco, haba u too get bad mouth.
Why are u like dis poco? Who do u dis?

Sister ask your husband to secure a loan from his political boss open up a business that you will manage, if you guys choose the right business thats the end of poverty. Don't think of leaving your husband or selling off your landed property that's the only assets your family has now. Your husband get sense na just money dey yab the guy. Please bear with him

J2381:
wrong!. Very wrong. One of the things that gives stability is having a steady flow of income.

So how much is the savings that was supposed to give them stability....people that are complaining of net on windows.. u think they have millions saved

ikelords:
Pls listen carefully... Dont ever seek advice on marital issues on social media, just imagine kids that can barely feeding themselves and have no single experience of marriage advice you and also marriage is an affair between two, if you must call a third party to settle issues let it be your parents or someone both of you respect a lot. Only God in heaven gives the wisdom to make wealth and preserve it. I dont see anything wrong in your marriage all you need to do is pray for financial breakthrough, if God is using you to carry the family why not Thank him for what he is doing and pray he continues his good works in your family..Every family have challenges even the one you admire, remember the grass is always greener at the other side... God is still in the business of doing miracles dont give up on your husband..

you my friend is the real MVP.

Mariangeles:

How else can you explain it ? Pray tell...

Shit changes, babe...That man you ridiculed could become the next governor. Women aren't built to take all responsibilities in marriage but if you see a husband hustling his best,enciurage him,not pile up pressure till he lashes out and the marriage collapses. Most times what a man needs is a loyal wife and prayers. His sustained success is in her hands.

Single ladies have no clue about marriage at all. Its not a bed of roses,24/7. Its commitment, 24/7.

What have you done to help him as his wife as well

Acidosis:


Owing a house is not vanity but it shouldn't be placed above owing a viable income source or liquid investment. By liquid, I mean, investments you can easily turn to cash/withdraw.

Some Nigerians build their houses with one bag or two of cement per month,with sand picked from the road side which accumulate during rain(they cannot afford tippers of sand). Those are small changes that cannot solve real issues,so rather than waste it they put to the project. People are really poor in this country; so owning a house of their own is a wise decision.

studentofTruth:


This analysis is wrong — it's missing inflation, which is the key factor in investment

So as inflation is rising, you will bury your money in the ground and sleep on like the unprofitable servant in the New Testament?

carlede:


Lol, I wouldn't know, just had a problem with the "broke husband" statement. But if u see packaging, u no go know?

The title broke husband means the guy wasn't always broke.. It is someone that has seen money before that can be classified as broke

1StopRudeness:

So how much is the savings that was supposed to give them stability....people that are complaining of net on windows.. u think they have millions saved

I'm not talking about the couple in question, I'm speaking from a general point of view. Stability is key in any given circumstance.

Sister ask your husband to secure a loan from his political boss open up a business that you will manage, if you guys choose the right business thats the end of poverty. Don't think of leaving your husband or selling off your landed property that's the only assets your family has now. Your husband get sense na just money dey yab the guy. Please bear with him. If you must sell the property the money must be used only for a well planned business venture. Else you guys might have nothing on fall back to...

This is the only solution to your problem, as e be now so no too carry body near pastor or father in the lord, na this kind things them take dey sleep with people wife ooh

Sister get sense ooh

carlede:


Lol, I wouldn't know, just had a problem with the "broke husband" statement. But if u see packaging, u no go know?

My dear, some people can package for Africa.

khallebb:
Take him for deliverance, he's possessed.

The best comment ever

safarigirl:


So, you conveniently skipped where I mentioned that the woman should pull her socks up, or you saw an attack on your person, and decided to rush and quote me.

You better learn how to fix things in your home or make money to get people who can fix them rather than make excuses for your shortcomings, maybe you were inside house with Mike Bamiloye and his wife to know that he was exactly like OP's husband. You would know if he was handy around the house too, abi? If you cannot bring money, at least have sufficient knowledge to sew a spoilt net or clear bush that secondary school students clear weekly.

Nonsense and laziness.

Lmaoooo, nice one.

I'm not married or lazy.

You wrote the man off as bring useless. I tried to correct that.

Uchechi20:
I just created a new account for this post, please i need mature advice. My husband has been so broke for years now, he never ever gets money if we have any emergency for my kids sickness, school fees, etc. He likes hallucinating about how he will be rich by getting one juicy political appointment cause he is into politics. Sometimes he hustles to just get food and it ends there(this does not come often), no basic needs like school fees etc. Before you judge me as not being supportive, i am not employed at the moment but i struggle and hustle the little way i can to assist in the house upkeep. I paid school fees, i even gave him a large some to add to our ongoing project but the money unfortunately didn't complete it.

Now our room window net spoit and there is a big bush just around the window. He is not doing anything about fixing the window net as usual, i didn't nag him. I just closed the windows permanently, but i noticed this morning that he opened the windows through out last night, same as the night before. My two children sleep on the same bed. He had to put us at risk like that just for ventilation sake without considering what could creep into our room.

Please i need serious advice on how to handle this, he collected all my savings to add to the project.
NOTE: He leaves the house everyday to come back very late, cause he still serves this political big guys yet there is nothing to show for it.

Men need to work harder and make money oh to make their families comfortable. I am a living witness.

Elliot2:
Some Nigerians build their houses with one bag or two of cement per month,with sand picked from the road side which accumulate during rain(they cannot afford tippers of sand). Those are small changes that cannot solve real issues,so rather than waste it they put to the project. People are really poor in this country; so owning a house of their own is a wise decision.

That's because they have chosen to enjoy the rat race. There are mutual funds of 5k. You can save as little as 3k per week and watch it grow with accumulated interest. You can't be hungry without a job and desire a property so much. It is needless.

Uchechi20:
I just created a new account for this post, please i need mature advice. My husband has been so broke for years now, he never ever gets money if we have any emergency for my kids sickness, school fees, etc. He likes hallucinating about how he will be rich by getting one juicy political appointment cause he is into politics. Sometimes he hustles to just get food and it ends there(this does not come often), no basic needs like school fees etc. Before you judge me as not being supportive, i am not employed at the moment but i struggle and hustle the little way i can to assist in the house upkeep. I paid school fees, i even gave him a large some to add to our ongoing project but the money unfortunately didn't complete it.

Now our room window net spoit and there is a big bush just around the window. He is not doing anything about fixing the window net as usual, i didn't nag him. I just closed the windows permanently, but i noticed this morning that he opened the windows through out last night, same as the night before. My two children sleep on the same bed. He had to put us at risk like that just for ventilation sake without considering what could creep into our room.

Please i need serious advice on how to handle this, he collected all my savings to add to the project.
NOTE: He leaves the house everyday to come back very late, cause he still serves this political big guys yet there is nothing to show for it.

Eyhaaaa. I feel for you. That's the problem with doing boy boy for politicians and not being smart enough to secure a job.

Meanwhile, Watch shocking untold story of Mark Angel and his little prodigies below

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTuDW2QoKCI

Elliot2:
U n acidosis don't know anything here. This Lady and her husband are not the standard middle class Nigerians who can afford rents. Owning a property is the wisest decision.

Owning a property is a good decision but not necessarily a wise decision. There are so many factors we are not considering and most of the comments, either for or against, have made the same mistake of applying a one size fits all to every person.

The average Nigerian can afford buying and building in outskirts, where sometimes development hasn't taken place and just a few houses. No light, no road, No good schools, No nearby clinic or hospital, easy target for burglaries e.t.c You have to consider if it's worth the pain of moving your wife and kids to such areas or pray that one day development will come to that area before moving. This could be years or it could not come at all. This is one of the reasons why it may be a good decision to own a property but not necessarily a wise one.

Tell him the political big guys don't care about him and they will never want to loose his slavery. So they won't offer him appointment.

darealbabe:
People will come for you for saying the truth. lol.
Mr potential! haqhaqhaaaq!

Na them o

luminouz:


Marry first babe...then you can advise on issues like this. Everyone can dish out solomonic wisdom but they never went through what Solomon did.

I hear u.

Acidosis:
He collected all your savings to add to a project (a personal apartment??).

I don't understand why people rush to build apartments. It is absolutely needless when you still struggle to meet your basic needs.

Advise your husband to;

1) Quit daydreaming about a juicy political offer. This venture never ends well when you don't have a job/business, trade, skill, etc. After 4 or 8 years of tasting little money as a counselor or special adviser (assuming he gets the offer), the situation will get worse. I've seen too many examples.

2) Sell off the uncompleted project.

3) Use the proceeds of the sales for business (this should be your focus and priority).

A house project won't put food on your table. A lot of Nigerians make this mistake. The urge to be called a landlord push many into shanty houses that ordinarily should be left for poultry and pig farming.

There's so much ignorance in the land. Tenancy is not bondage. Stop attending churches where tenants are demonized. There's no glory in being a broke landlord. Remain where you are and divert your money to a productive venture. That's how to grow. Your personal apartment may help you save a little (assuming you pay a lot on rent) but it won't put N1 on your table.


N.B: Please ignore the above if my interpretation of "project" differs.

I understand your view. But there are states in Nigeria where accommodation is such a big issue that owing a container house is even a relief.
Imagine paying 150k yearly in a shanty in Lagos because its on the island and you still spend a lot on transport to your work place. For a low income earner, saving monthly for the next years rent is quite a task. If you stumble on bulk funds and it can give you a room of your own, I think its a fair thought to grab it

Acidosis:


Owing a house is not vanity but it shouldn't be placed above owing a viable income source or liquid investment. By liquid, I mean, investments you can easily turn to cash/withdraw. A personal home is not an investment. It appears like a money-saving strategy, but it barely saves anything.

I wonder why this logical explanation seems so difficult for some people to comprehend...

AwkaetitiBabe:
Do u know how difficult it is withholding money from a spouse? They'll nag you to near death.

lol i'm not yet married so I don't know. Are you speaking from experience?

J2381:
I'm not talking about the couple in question, I'm speaking from a general point of view. Stability is key in any given circumstance.

This is not a general point of veiw... it’s a point of view of people who can afford net on their window....

J2381:
wrong!. Very wrong. One of the things that gives stability is having a steady flow of income.

, So right.

Uchechi20:
I just created a new account for this post, please i need mature advice. My husband has been so broke for years now, he never ever gets money if we have any emergency for my kids sickness, school fees, etc. He likes hallucinating about how he will be rich by getting one juicy political appointment cause he is into politics. Sometimes he hustles to just get food and it ends there(this does not come often), no basic needs like school fees etc. Before you judge me as not being supportive, i am not employed at the moment but i struggle and hustle the little way i can to assist in the house upkeep. I paid school fees, i even gave him a large some to add to our ongoing project but the money unfortunately didn't complete it.

Now our room window net spoit and there is a big bush just around the window. He is not doing anything about fixing the window net as usual, i didn't nag him. I just closed the windows permanently, but i noticed this morning that he opened the windows through out last night, same as the night before. My two children sleep on the same bed. He had to put us at risk like that just for ventilation sake without considering what could creep into our room.

Please i need serious advice on how to handle this, he collected all my savings to add to the project.
NOTE: He leaves the house everyday to come back very late, cause he still serves this political big guys yet there is nothing to show for it.

Why did you have to ask for advice from Nairaland forum as though they can give you good advice, they will only negatively influence you and put you into serious confusion by diverse kind of advice you will read. You may say I will just pick one, but I tell you what you read or hear has a great impact on your inner mind knowingly or unknowingly, negatively or positively. All I can say is that you should show him more love, he is your husband and continue to support him. First thing you need do, is to let him know that you have something that bothers your heart, that you would like to discuss with him. When he gives you audience, softly discuss it with him, so that you can both proffer solution, or come up with an understanding and a hope for the future. Be patient with him, don't put him under pressure, but stand by him to see him succeed. Also put him in your prayers. God bless you.

1StopRudeness:

This is not a general point of veiw... it’s a point of view of people who can afford net on their window....

Oh okay.

babyfaceafrica:
didn't she know his job before she married him?
.look money dey the guy hand before,and she was happy,now he is broke and she has started complaining....Men should be wise..no.money, no love!

You sound like u need this ur advice for urself more than she does...

OP dis your matter abi story get as im be.
(1) You did not state what he was doing when you got married to him.
(2) You didn't state for how long you have been married and the ages of the kids.
(3) You didn't tell us at what time he lost his job or his business nose-dived
(4) You didn't tell us the kind of project you both are into - whether building a house or ........
(5) You didn't tell us the side hustle you are into.

From your write up, it's like it is a building project and it seems though not completed, you guys have moved in like that to at least settle into one or two rooms. I guess the building is located in a developing area - which explains the "big bush" close to the apartment.

In any case, you have only succeeded in demonizing your husband as we have not heard his own version.

I think you both are not communicating. Unfortunately your husband belong to the class of those who depend on "politics money" to survive or stay afloat. So it's hard to advise him. However, for you, I'll go with the advice of one guy up there who said you should try to be independent financially, don't give money again (though this will create tension but you should stand your ground) and try and meet up the demands of the kids and home the much you can.

If it gets out of hand, please alert your family and his family.

kevoh:

Owning a property is a good decision but not necessarily a wise decision. There are so many factors we are not considering and most of the comments either for or against have made the same mistake of applying a one size fits all to every person.

Well Said...!

All in all, liquidity and steady flow of income seems to be a better option for me.

Enough said though

Sambaby7640:
lol i'm not yet married so I don't know. Are you speaking from experience?

kids observe from parents.