Sanchez01:

So many of your angles are wrong!

Rent accounts for over 50% of the problems in marriage. In a country where the average Joe barely earns 100k monthly, breaking the barrier of rent is like winning a jackpot. And if you think becoming a broke landlord is insane, wait till you get overwhelmed by financial demands in another man's house while your rent due date edge closer.

Most people think venturing into a business automatically translates to steady inflow. What you don't realize is that mishaps are very common with personal businesses and just one would have been a problem in another man's house as you'd need to secure loans or borrow to temporarily stay afloat. Typical business folks who mostly survive this ugly phase often go as far as selling other stuff they own to stay alive in business. It is not the same with people who don't have other money raising properties to fall back to when things get ugly.

My family stopped paying rent in Lagos since 1999 and growing up, there were moments when money would be scarce but the single thought of not worrying about paying rent eased so many things.

Plus while you brazenly suggest they sell off the property, you failed to ask what state it is situated, which should have been your major concern before going further to talk about whether or not the move was wise.

I think we all should learn to put 'just my opinion' after suggesting some things in this section so that we don't end up destroying lives in the name of counseling. Opinions are opinions and some, if not most are somewhat dangerous.

As unwise as you think the move is, I'd advise you invest your last penny in a landed property and conveniently add swag to soaking your Cassava flakes in your own property, after developing it to a reasonable extent.

Acidosis:
He collected all your savings to add to a project (a personal apartment??).

I don't understand why people rush to build apartments. It is absolutely needless when you still struggle to meet your basic needs.

Advise your husband to;

1) Quit daydreaming about a juicy political offer. This venture never ends well when you don't have a job/business, trade, skill, etc. After 4 or 8 years of tasting little money as a counselor or special adviser (assuming he gets the offer), the situation will get worse. I've seen too many examples.

2) Sell off the uncompleted project.

3) Use the proceeds of the sales for business (this should be your focus and priority).

A house project won't put food on your table. A lot of Nigerians make this mistake. The urge to be called a landlord push many into shanty houses that ordinarily should be left for poultry and pig farming.

There's so much ignorance in the land. Tenancy is not bondage. Stop attending churches where tenants are demonized. There's no glory in being a broke landlord. Remain where you are and divert your money to a productive venture. That's how to grow. Your personal apartment may help you save a little (assuming you pay a lot on rent) but it won't put N1 on your table.


N.B: Please ignore the above if my interpretation of "project" differs.

luminouz:


Shit changes, babe...That man you ridiculed could become the next governor. Women aren't built to take all responsibilities in marriage but if you see a husband hustling his best,enciurage him,not pile up pressure till he lashes out and the marriage collapses. Most times what a man needs is a loyal wife and prayers. His sustained success is in her hands.

Single ladies have no clue about marriage at all. Its not a bed of roses,24/7. Its commitment, 24/7.

safarigirl:
You people should stop marrying useless men that can neither provide money nor help with repairs.

My father is in his sixties and there is nothing he cannot fix in the house. What kind of new generation men do we have?

The net that tore, can't it be sewn if you people can't afford new net? Can't the bush be cleared? He doesn't even have a proper job and common handwork he cannot do.

Even you sef, how can you be jobless and go and marry a jobless person? Did you get pregnant and have to marry him?

Everybody wants to rush into marriage without the requisite means of sustaining a family....and yes, ventilation is a necessity, so, thw window ought to be open, or else you risk meningitis. If you married a lazy slob, you sef help yourself and fix the net.

In all this, it is the unfortunate kids you both brought into your managing life that I pity. Put your house in order, Nairaland cannot help you all the time

Sterope:
For every Mike Bamiloye, there is a million Mike Bamiloye that are still fools at 40.

How does what 'could be' preclude this man from resolving his NOW? Could be is a gamble. Till then, he has RESPONSIBILITIES.

He can work as a teacher and carpenter and still be very much involved in politics.

safarigirl:
You people should stop marrying useless men that can neither provide money nor help with repairs.

My father is in his sixties and there is nothing he cannot fix in the house. What kind of new generation men do we have?

The net that tore, can't it be sewn if you people can't afford new net? Can't the bush be cleared? He doesn't even have a proper job and common handwork he cannot do.

Even you sef, how can you be jobless and go and marry a jobless person? Did you get pregnant and have to marry him?

Everybody wants to rush into marriage without the requisite means of sustaining a family....and yes, ventilation is a necessity, so, thw window ought to be open, or else you risk meningitis. If you married a lazy slob, you sef help yourself and fix the net.

In all this, it is the unfortunate kids you both brought into your managing life that I pity. Put your house in order, Nairaland cannot help you all the time

Sterope:
For every Mike Bamiloye, there is a million Mike Bamiloye that are still fools at 40.

How does what 'could be' preclude this man from resolving his NOW? Could be is a gamble. Till then, he has RESPONSIBILITIES.

He can work as a teacher and carpenter and still be very much involved in politics.

Uchechi20:
I just created a new account for this post, please i need mature advice. My husband has been so broke for years now, he never ever gets money if we have any emergency for my kids sickness, school fees, etc. He likes hallucinating about how he will be rich by getting one juicy political appointment cause he is into politics. Sometimes he hustles to just get food and it ends there(this does not come often), no basic needs like school fees etc. Before you judge me as not being supportive, i am not employed at the moment but i struggle and hustle the little way i can to assist in the house upkeep. I paid school fees, i even gave him a large some to add to our ongoing project but the money unfortunately didn't complete it.

Now our room window net spoit and there is a big bush just around the window. He is not doing anything about fixing the window net as usual, i didn't nag him. I just closed the windows permanently, but i noticed this morning that he opened the windows through out last night, same as the night before. My two children sleep on the same bed. He had to put us at risk like that just for ventilation sake without considering what could creep into our room.

Please i need serious advice on how to handle this, he collected all my savings to add to the project.
NOTE: He leaves the house everyday to come back very late, cause he still serves this political big guys yet there is nothing to show for it.

Acidosis:
He collected all your savings to add to a project (a personal apartment??).

I don't understand why people rush to build apartments. It is absolutely needless when you still struggle to meet your basic needs.

Advise your husband to;

1) Quit daydreaming about a juicy political offer. This venture never ends well when you don't have a job/business, trade, skill, etc. After 4 or 8 years of tasting little money as a counselor or special adviser (assuming he gets the offer), the situation will get worse. I've seen too many examples.

2) Sell off the uncompleted project.

3) Use the proceeds of the sales for business (this should be your focus and priority).

A house project won't put food on your table. A lot of Nigerians make this mistake. The urge to be called a landlord push many into shanty houses that ordinarily should be left for poultry and pig farming.

There's so much ignorance in the land. Tenancy is not bondage. Stop attending churches where tenants are demonized. There's no glory in being a broke landlord. Remain where you are and divert your money to a productive venture. That's how to grow. Your personal apartment may help you save a little (assuming you pay a lot on rent) but it won't put N1 on your table.


N.B: Please ignore the above if my interpretation of "project" differs.

Uchechi20:
I just created a new account for this post, please i need mature advice. My husband has been so broke for years now, he never ever gets money if we have any emergency for my kids sickness, school fees, etc. He likes hallucinating about how he will be rich by getting one juicy political appointment cause he is into politics. Sometimes he hustles to just get food and it ends there(this does not come often), no basic needs like school fees etc. Before you judge me as not being supportive, i am not employed at the moment but i struggle and hustle the little way i can to assist in the house upkeep. I paid school fees, i even gave him a large some to add to our ongoing project but the money unfortunately didn't complete it.

Now our room window net spoit and there is a big bush just around the window. He is not doing anything about fixing the window net as usual, i didn't nag him. I just closed the windows permanently, but i noticed this morning that he opened the windows through out last night, same as the night before. My two children sleep on the same bed. He had to put us at risk like that just for ventilation sake without considering what could creep into our room.

Please i need serious advice on how to handle this, he collected all my savings to add to the project.
NOTE: He leaves the house everyday to come back very late, cause he still serves this political big guys yet there is nothing to show for it.

pocohantas:


The most important thing to me is DRIVE. I have an aunty that married POTENTIAL. Big dreams, certificate and plenty English.

They married when I was only a kid in secondary sch. Trust me when I say, they currently live hand to mouth. I pay one of her kids sch fees and I have been paying it ever since I started working as a graduate. I send money every month, but it is hardly ever enough.

What her husband lacks is DRIVE. He has the POTENTIAL to be great, but no drive to go the extra mile. It is okay to marry a broke man, but never marry a man who can go to sleep knowing his family haven't eaten.

Lol

Some women dey try sha

dazzlingd:


Things we idolised in this part of the world is responsible for our hardship, backwardness. That's why we are one way traffic with poor achievements.
I must marry, born children, buy a car and build a house, then drive my family to church and make donations to GOD for keeping me and my family safe...That's the definition of success to an average black man.. Mediocre thinking.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Germany, China people are thinking futuristic, breaking human boundaries, creating enterprises and modelling systems. Nobody celebrate you for how many children you have or if you are a landlord of one uncompleted building

chiboyo:


I wonder why this logical explanation seems so difficult for some people to comprehend...

Mutemenot:


It's not true, I know more than 20 of them who are currently in good position, enjoying their years of struggling... the only problem here is on how to Carter for the immediate need of the family...

Mariangeles:

Okay. I see your point.
I'm just going by the information the woman gave

Slawormir:
Damnnnnn

As a real niggarr

I can say this looks like a low budget version of acrimony

Acidosis:
He collected all your savings to add to a project (a personal apartment??).

I don't understand why people rush to build apartments. It is absolutely needless when you still struggle to meet your basic needs.

Advise your husband to;

1) Quit daydreaming about a juicy political offer. This venture never ends well when you don't have a job/business, trade, skill, etc. After 4 or 8 years of tasting little money as a counselor or special adviser (assuming he gets the offer), the situation will get worse. I've seen too many examples.

2) Sell off the uncompleted project.

3) Use the proceeds of the sales for business (this should be your focus and priority).

A house project won't put food on your table. A lot of Nigerians make this mistake. The urge to be called a landlord push many into shanty houses that ordinarily should be left for poultry and pig farming.

There's so much ignorance in the land. Tenancy is not bondage. Stop attending churches where tenants are demonized. There's no glory in being a broke landlord. Remain where you are and divert your money to a productive venture. That's how to grow. Your personal apartment may help you save a little (assuming you pay a lot on rent) but it won't put N1 on your table.


N.B: Please ignore the above if my interpretation of "project" differs.

Acidosis:


There's no burden anywhere. The money the poor spend on personal apartment can pay the same rent they avoid for 20-50 years. Rent for some is only 50k. Without a meaningful job or business, they spend a cumulative sum of N1-2m on a building project. How's that sensible?

midnighter:


Politics is like music or acting, in fact all of them are forms of entertainment

For every person that "made it" there are a million failures still waiting for their "big break", and their families suffering needlessly behind them

That guy is not being realistic. In fact he is being vain and selfish by allowing his wife to shoulder the whole burden while he wastes time

Jewessgratitude:


My dear, praise God and pray to God always. He'll turns around for the better.

Stop magnifying your problems, rather, magnify God and see Him spring into action.

In this times we are in, its only God that can sustain us.

I was telling my sisters my testimony yesterday of how confused I was at some points without any directions but when I turned to God abs stopped complaining about everything, God began to redirect my life and make things happen for me easily.
All you need do is praise God and speak what you want to that situation with authority in the name of Jesus, and watch what God will do.

It is well.

QuickStandard:
Hmmmmm!!!

What a title!

"Your broke husband"

He should just let you go, so you can marry
"Your rich husband"


From your title it's obvious you have no regards for him cos he's broke

That been said, I hate lazy people, that can't think out of the box.

He should hustle at least to put food on the table, pending when he gets the big break.

You can encourage him.

But calling your husband broke and insensitive is degrading.


My 2cents

luminouz:


Your first statement is unverified,so I will put it under 'potentiality'

Your second statement? I agree the man should do more, be more driven,at least for his kids sakes. He is a man after all.

Your third paragraph is funny. You suggested such without knowing his skill sets?

I get all your points but its funny that the single ladies here are on fire about this issue. Check out the married women and their responses. Most times, they are more patient.

Tenshades:


No mind am. Thats the reason you see a family with 3 generations in a rented apartment when their warped mentality of not seeing the need of having their own houses wont let them reason.

I wonder if the landlord didn't build the home in the first place, they will be living in the hotel or in the culverts.

It's a pity.

tonididdy:


Everyone must aspire to own a home of his or her own because of the comfortability and the rent-free life thereafter.
Don't make owning a house seem like vanity, the house you are currently a tenant of belongs to someone who taught differently.

If one has spare money, invest it in a project

Mutemenot:


The mistake they made was going into a project without having atleast a business to provide for immediate needs, if the man n his wife planned well, I don't think they will be room for room for complain...And remember there's no profession with 100% wealth assurance, it's all about grace...so I wouldn't look down on the man atall. Ex governor of Delta state used to play draft almost every evening den at one spot near my primary school but today he's a made man. Picnick of NFF used to eat in one local restaurant in my area then, met him severally as a nobody but today you know the story... d woman should just manage d man, There's no home without imperfections

luminouz:


Your first statement is unverified,so I will put it under 'potentiality'

Your second statement? I agree the man should do more, be more driven,at least for his kids sakes. He is a man after all.

Your third paragraph is funny. You suggested such without knowing his skill sets?

I get all your points but its funny that the single ladies here are on fire about this issue. Check out the married women and their responses. Most times, they are more patient.

pocohantas:


Don't mind them. Always giving convenient examples. Messi and Ronaldo were definitely not the only kids who could tap soccer in their village. Where the rest them?

Fix the now, while we wait on the POTENTIAL.

Sterope:
Potential head of the house and you are so shortsighted

I don't need to fact check my first statement. Your delusion will not let you see road. It is sad you cannot also read and understand, did I ask him to become a teacher or a carpenter?

Why don't you check out if this married women were airing their opinions or answering deluded humanoid with penis for brain matter?

AwkaetitiBabe:
What exactly gave u the idea he ever had funds sef? Perhaps she married him believing things will change. You know how some men can package themselves only for you to get close and realize shishi no dey... Buhaaaahhhhaaaaahhaaa