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My Husband Dislikes Me - Family (9) - Nairaland

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Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by Draught: 7:28am On Nov 09, 2019
What about In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF)?

Might be costly but definitely worth the stress.

How about adoption?

You see there are so many options apart from the normal procedures of getting pregnant and giving birth, try the ones most suitable to you..

As for your husband, honestly I don't know what to say cos I would like to hear his side too concerning his disposition towards you.

Try and be live a happy life, don't let society determine your happiness.
Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by kid7soccer(m): 7:28am On Nov 09, 2019
God bless you for this. More wisdom
Ariza:
Avoid Arguments

Go for medical treatment

Love him

Love yourself more


Love God much more


Pray harder.
Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by aalangel(f): 7:36am On Nov 09, 2019
amarachi06:
I have been married for 6years without a child. it has been the worst time of My life to be married without a child.

Anytime we argue, he will shout at me with scorn and hateful words but he can never speak to his family members that way.

lf l try to talk with him over some issues or advice which will benefit us, he will shot me down, only for us to suffer later.

l have tried to Know my wrong to him but he doesn't wanna tell me. l am in deep pains cos he has told me "that anytime l want to leave, that am free to do so".

On Monday, he came back around 12am, and l was worried till that time. He came back without explaination and l asked him, whether l am that invisible to him, and his reply was "if l am tired, that l should leave". l now replied, "if l have a child, will you send us out?" he didn't say anything but l know that his attitude is cos of that.

The day l had my Last miscarriage was in 2016, and the tears l had in My eyes was not about my baby but knowing that l will Not be loved again by my husband.

l am tired! l almost went Into depression, and sucide, cos of his attitude to me. l don't Know how to handle him, cos my presence irritates him.

Please Sound advice.

That confession of yours in 2016 needs to be changed.

Declare that he loves you unconditionally and don't ever pity yourself. Be cheerful cos the Word of God works.
Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by Nobody: 7:39am On Nov 09, 2019
amarachi06:
I have been married for 6years without a child. it has been the worst time of My life to be married without a child.

Anytime we argue, he will shout at me with scorn and hateful words but he can never speak to his family members that way.

lf l try to talk with him over some issues or advice which will benefit us, he will shot me down, only for us to suffer later.

l have tried to Know my wrong to him but he doesn't wanna tell me. l am in deep pains cos he has told me "that anytime l want to leave, that am free to do so".

On Monday, he came back around 12am, and l was worried till that time. He came back without explaination and l asked him, whether l am that invisible to him, and his reply was "if l am tired, that l should leave". l now replied, "if l have a child, will you send us out?" he didn't say anything but l know that his attitude is cos of that.

The day l had my Last miscarriage was in 2016, and the tears l had in My eyes was not about my baby but knowing that l will Not be loved again by my husband.

l am tired! l almost went Into depression, and sucide, cos of his attitude to me. l don't Know how to handle him, cos my presence irritates him.

Please Sound advice.

It is usual for women to think that their husband dislikes them because of their childlessness, this is usually false. Husbands and wives in the early stages find out that marriage is different from that boyfriend-girlfriend lovey dovey stuff they used to do before. There are now forced interactions, new duties, new responsibilities, and all the stress that comes attached. The relationship becomes strained. Children however, tend to cement it. They distract the parents from their stress with their cuteness and keep the family from falling apart at that stage. As the marriage matures, the tendency to want to break up after every argument reduces.

My belief is; there are underlying reasons for why you and your husband are showing signs of incompatibility. Since you were the one who asked, I will address only your side. Do you put pressure on him financially? Are you obssessed with the child issue and spend every waking hour talking about nothing else? Are you content in general (a woman's discontent and subsequent ingratitude are major causes of strife in marriage)? Are you suspicious of his activities because of your childlessness? Do you have good rapport with his family or do you consider them to be your enemies and secretly searching for a second wife for him? One thing I discovered is that married women are their own enemies, they can overanalyse every word. And their analysis always tends to end in self-fulfilling prophecy. They look for insult, find it, get offended, exact revenge, alienate the husband and finally lose him, all the while the husbamd is blissfully unaware of all that is boiling inside her mind.

I hope it is not too late already, but be sweet, submissive, content and accepting with your husband (forget all that feminist poison) and he will soon be eating out of your hand. I am always surprised that many women don't understand how simple this is. They always seem to want to take the ineffective confrontational path instead. And don't keep obssessing about childlessness. He may not even consider it a big thing for now. And when you are a team once more, you can find solutions for it together.

Good luck.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by Kbs468(m): 7:44am On Nov 09, 2019
UjuJoan2:
Pray for him, love him bla bla bla. That's the typical Nigerian advice for women in dysfunctional relationships.

Yet when I say women stay with abusive men for the wrong reasons, People will become all self righteous.

Nonsense!

Madam, You said

'Yet when I say women stay with abusive men for the WRONG REASONS, people will become all self righteous'

In the first place, Are there RIGHT REASONS for women to stay in abusive relationships?

Please if any let me know ok.

Now, She asked for sound advice but have you really advised her whatsoever? I don't think so.

@ Amarachi06, I think I would subscribe to you avoiding argument with your hubby,

Continue to Love him

Love yourself too so that He can sustain intimacy with you for a higher degree of conception (At least 2-3 times every week.

Let him meet you everyday between the 6th to the 11th days of your 1st period (menstruation)

Always engage yourselves in Doggy style.

Continue to pray to God diligently.
Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by mrde(m): 7:47am On Nov 09, 2019
Abfinest007:
find someone he respects n listen let d person talk to him
Wrong advice sir. Trust me
Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by v2: 8:06am On Nov 09, 2019
Keep on praying.

Most importantly, both of you need to go for check up and then treatment.
Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by lasthero: 8:14am On Nov 09, 2019
Hmmm
Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by hennylove(f): 8:15am On Nov 09, 2019
This man is putting you in an emotional trauma which will gradually lead to depression. Since he has been saying leave go meet your pastor and explain to him and if need be you need to go separate ways for a period of time for a sober reflection while your families will try to reconcile you. If it doesn't work just don't let any man make you feel less cos you are precious and can actually survive without him. It means he married just because of children and not love
Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by Maykanu: 8:20am On Nov 09, 2019
My dear ebezina meaning cry no more.

Hold tight onto God d giver of children. HE alone will not disappoint nor fail u.

Your tears henceforth will be tears of joy.

For i prophesy that b4 the end of next year, u will conceive and bear ur husband twins IN JESUS NAME AMEN.


Nb. Pls look for d song by Preye titled ebezina
And Moses bliss song titled too faithful to always lift up ur spirit.


N dont forget to share ur testimony to give GOD ALL THE GLORY

1 Like

Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by abuhusna1: 8:27am On Nov 09, 2019
amarachi06:


Thank you, am crying already. Is well with my soul, never believed that l will not have a child by now. All my sisters are married with kids, and am scared of exchanging words with people for fear of being called a barren woman, and eater of my kids, which l am not. Thank you all for your kind words.
I hope you have a good doctor cos my wife also list two pregnancy before we had our children. Thr is an injection they give in the hospital at the early stage of pregnancy if you have history of miscarriage. Thus was what my wife was given and I can't rule out God factor.
On the issue of marriage thr is ni perfect home everyone is managing it. Love ends with boyfriend abd girlfriend but once u graduate to marriage all bith party should have is compromise and tolerance
Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by BSF: 8:29am On Nov 09, 2019
amarachi06:


Thank you, am crying already. Is well with my soul, never believed that l will not have a child by now. All my sisters are married with kids, and am scared of exchanging words with people for fear of being called a barren woman, and eater of my kids, which l am not. Thank you all for your kind words.

You are not Barren!, You are not Barren!!, You can never be barren!!!. Stop saying so and stop thinking so. This challenge will come and pass and you will give glory to God!

1 Like

Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by Reference(m): 8:30am On Nov 09, 2019
That is why every woman should strive to be a person of value and for heavens sake tie into men of vision who have such a big picture that you will prove an invaluable asset in its actualization.

Marraige is not only for procreation. Marraige is a multifaceted union such that the loss of one or two functions do not condemn it to failure. If it were in this case a delay will not bring about these terrible stresses.

Unfortunately this lady married a hyper traditional man with very little vision, very little foresight and very little fortitude. Such folks will ultimately not achieve the kind of success the marraige institution can offer.

You will be surprised that when she eventually delivers and perhaps it turns out to be a girl, the second phase of problems will arise. I know not everyone has the capacity to make the right choices of partners for marraige but everyone has a responsibility to ensure what he or she offers to the union is as broad based and as deep as possible so that a failure or delay in one function will not erode or destroy the union entirely.

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by don33310(m): 8:31am On Nov 09, 2019
amarachi06:
I have been married for 6years without a child. it has been the worst time of My life to be married without a child.

Anytime we argue, he will shout at me with scorn and hateful words but he can never speak to his family members that way.

lf l try to talk with him over some issues or advice which will benefit us, he will shot me down, only for us to suffer later.

l have tried to Know my wrong to him but he doesn't wanna tell me. l am in deep pains cos he has told me "that anytime l want to leave, that am free to do so".

On Monday, he came back around 12am, and l was worried till that time. He came back without explaination and l asked him, whether l am that invisible to him, and his reply was "if l am tired, that l should leave". l now replied, "if l have a child, will you send us out?" he didn't say anything but l know that his attitude is cos of that.

The day l had my Last miscarriage was in 2016, and the tears l had in My eyes was not about my baby but knowing that l will Not be loved again by my husband.

l am tired! l almost went Into depression, and sucide, cos of his attitude to me. l don't Know how to handle him, cos my presence irritates him.

Please Sound advice.
despite his attitude show him love and love yourself, he is a human, he will come back to his senses, just a matter of time.
Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by DavidEsq(m): 8:36am On Nov 09, 2019
amarachi06:


Thank you, am crying already. Is well with my soul, never believed that l will not have a child by now. All my sisters are married with kids, and am scared of exchanging words with people for fear of being called a barren woman, and eater of my kids, which l am not. Thank you all for your kind words.
So much pain expressed in few words. Damn!
Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by Surulereman(m): 8:45am On Nov 09, 2019
So sad. This is emotional torture. Counseling only one party here may not have the desired effect because it takes the two of them to make the relationship successful. What if the lady does all the right things as advised in this forum but the man doesn't change? He needs serious counseling. Obviously he has no affection or respect for his wife. I won't use "love" yet. He has to man up, unless there are other serious issues not disclosed in this case. The ball is squarely in his court.
Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by bigpicture001: 8:47am On Nov 09, 2019
amarachi06:
I have been married for 6years without a child. it has been the worst time of My life to be married without a child.

Anytime we argue, he will shout at me with scorn and hateful words but he can never speak to his family members that way.

lf l try to talk with him over some issues or advice which will benefit us, he will shot me down, only for us to suffer later.

l have tried to Know my wrong to him but he doesn't wanna tell me. l am in deep pains cos he has told me "that anytime l want to leave, that am free to do so".

On Monday, he came back around 12am, and l was worried till that time. He came back without explaination and l asked him, whether l am that invisible to him, and his reply was "if l am tired, that l should leave". l now replied, "if l have a child, will you send us out?" he didn't say anything but l know that his attitude is cos of that.

The day l had my Last miscarriage was in 2016, and the tears l had in My eyes was not about my baby but knowing that l will Not be loved again by my husband.

l am tired! l almost went Into depression, and sucide, cos of his attitude to me. l don't Know how to handle him, cos my presence irritates him.

Please Sound advice.

Endure it whilst u look for med solution

Remember u would hv done much worse if he were discovered to b impotent...go fix urself..nd stop complaining!
Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by Vibesking(m): 8:48am On Nov 09, 2019
amarachi06:
I have been married for 6years without a child. it has been the worst time of My life to be married without a child.

Anytime we argue, he will shout at me with scorn and hateful words but he can never speak to his family members that way.

lf l try to talk with him over some issues or advice which will benefit us, he will shot me down, only for us to suffer later.

l have tried to Know my wrong to him but he doesn't wanna tell me. l am in deep pains cos he has told me "that anytime l want to leave, that am free to do so".

On Monday, he came back around 12am, and l was worried till that time. He came back without explaination and l asked him, whether l am that invisible to him, and his reply was "if l am tired, that l should leave". l now replied, "if l have a child, will you send us out?" he didn't say anything but l know that his attitude is cos of that.

The day l had my Last miscarriage was in 2016, and the tears l had in My eyes was not about my baby but knowing that l will Not be loved again by my husband.

l am tired! l almost went Into depression, and sucide, cos of his attitude to me. l don't Know how to handle him, cos my presence irritates him.

Please Sound advice.

I literally shed a tear reading the paragraph before the last one. I can only just imagine the pains you must have been going through.

Ma'am, I want you to know that God is not punishing you or angry with you. You're gonna hear the cry of a baby in your house. And it's going to be very soon.

Please ma, just hang on. Don't be forced to do anything silly. Your husband loves you... He just doesn't know how to deal with the situation and that's why he's reacting that way.

Everything will be fine ma.
Don't lose faith. Please.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by Nobody: 8:49am On Nov 09, 2019
amarachi06:
I have been married for 6years without a child. it has been the worst time of My life to be married without a child.

Anytime we argue, he will shout at me with scorn and hateful words but he can never speak to his family members that way.

lf l try to talk with him over some issues or advice which will benefit us, he will shot me down, only for us to suffer later.

l have tried to Know my wrong to him but he doesn't wanna tell me. l am in deep pains cos he has told me "that anytime l want to leave, that am free to do so".

On Monday, he came back around 12am, and l was worried till that time. He came back without explaination and l asked him, whether l am that invisible to him, and his reply was "if l am tired, that l should leave". l now replied, "if l have a child, will you send us out?" he didn't say anything but l know that his attitude is cos of that.

The day l had my Last miscarriage was in 2016, and the tears l had in My eyes was not about my baby but knowing that l will Not be loved again by my husband.

l am tired! l almost went Into depression, and sucide, cos of his attitude to me. l don't Know how to handle him, cos my presence irritates him.

Please Sound advice.



Focus on your career goals madam. Remain attractive. Win at your career, ne celebrated. Don't dwell on the situation. It hurts, but nobody wants a burden to pity. If you remain a wreck to ne pitied the man will only look further outside. Mask your pain, do your duty act unbothered
Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by digitaltrades: 8:59am On Nov 09, 2019
sharone21:

She and her husband in this case, he too might have committed multiple abortions, both known and unknown( some women won't tell a man they dated that they are pregnant for him).

And how is that the man's fault? What the heck, he never even knew the woman was pregnant
Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by OKOATA(m): 9:00am On Nov 09, 2019
Reasons why child is difficult to bear in marriage is due to both parties fault, reasons why most women have miscarriages or hard to give birth is because they have one disease or the other in their body, if you tell them they will argue with you, go and do a general body check up and your so called husband, has he checked for low sperm count?
Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by digitaltrades: 9:00am On Nov 09, 2019
Zooposki:


I am a Mumu.
Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by mrchineke: 9:01am On Nov 09, 2019
akpunda86:


Sister good morming.ur case resembles my own.yes its not always easy but it can be overcomed.Thank God u even take in.i believe is people in your shoes that know better where it hurts u most.

I remember then when my wife was three months preg.first time pregnancy always a joy.we went for a heavy shopping.next was a miscarriage. During evacuation i was given the boy to be buried 7 months then.was a big blow.
We went to the best gynavologist in Lagos no way.
Note...Sometimes a good doctor is not how expensive you are but how experienced.
The joy in our marriage gone.We relocated to enugu and met a good doctor.moment my wife took in was placed on hormones and like joke like joke i held my first kid AFTER six years of marriage.after one year i change gear and my wife took in and gave birth to our second kid and today i have a family and as im typing this we expecting no 3.

Now what is your location.I tell you 70% of doctor's in lagos ARE after your money not services.

Having had a miscarriage and have not taken in who did the Evacuation.was the foetus cleaned well.pls a scan can confirm that.noting is wrong with u.if ur within the east can give u the doct number.

Know your cycle well.see a gynaco.AFTER addressing all this get a sexy wears wait for ur hubby and make sure all goes down during every sex in ur ovulation.

Most importantly pray.but i tell u is well.
Note when womb not cleaned or evacuated well of foetus always a problem.im an engineer but my wife problem partially turned me to a doctor.

Oga, thank God for his mercies but remember our country economy is not strong and most of the developed rich countries are closing their doors to immigration, so take it easy and don't overpopulate our environment without sense. Abeg
Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by mrchineke: 9:06am On Nov 09, 2019
Viking07:
And this is the way we handle every single thing in this country, we leave-it-to-God. I've never seen a country so totally hopeless.

Yes ooo, the country is going down the drain but keep praying......harder ....harder
They will get sense las las or perish!
Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by OmoOsanyin: 9:14am On Nov 09, 2019
amarachi06:
I have been married for 6years without a child. it has been the worst time of My life to be married without a child.

Anytime we argue, he will shout at me with scorn and hateful words but he can never speak to his family members that way.

lf l try to talk with him over some issues or advice which will benefit us, he will shot me down, only for us to suffer later.

l have tried to Know my wrong to him but he doesn't wanna tell me. l am in deep pains cos he has told me "that anytime l want to leave, that am free to do so".

On Monday, he came back around 12am, and l was worried till that time. He came back without explaination and l asked him, whether l am that invisible to him, and his reply was "if l am tired, that l should leave". l now replied, "if l have a child, will you send us out?" he didn't say anything but l know that his attitude is cos of that.

The day l had my Last miscarriage was in 2016, and the tears l had in My eyes was not about my baby but knowing that l will Not be loved again by my husband.

l am tired! l almost went Into depression, and sucide, cos of his attitude to me. l don't Know how to handle him, cos my presence irritates him.

Please Sound advice.


It's a pity and unfortunate.
Contact me and by His Grace and my expertise, you'll be a mother next year.
Take me seriously.


Alaafia
Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by digitaltrades: 9:15am On Nov 09, 2019
Ayotemide:


True, that might be the norm for the women you know; but I would take the liberty to educate you


Repeated miscarriages can be a function of Rhesus factor incompatibility, a weak womb muscle or worse still a cocktail of medical abnormalities,

Not every woman is walking with an 'ugly past'; and for all the emotions that this lady has put into this post; it is a fucking insensitive thing to say.

If you were not blind in the mind while reading my comment, you would see where I asked whether they went for medical examination before they got married.

Medical examination will detect such abnormalities before marriage.

The woman concerned didn't even complain, which is a sign that I may be right.
Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by maasoap(m): 9:23am On Nov 09, 2019
amarachi06

If it had been about not having a child alone, I would have advised you to endure and seek medical assistance too. But with this attitude of this husband of yours, I wouldn't advise you to do that. He hates you now you irritate him now, how are we sure that both of you are still copulating as frequently as it should be for wanting a pregnancy? How are we sure you can conceive in this present condition of yours? I meant that with the all these disturbances flying around you! And that is the problem now.
Your options are not that simple but I hope that you will be okay with whatever decision you are going to make
Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by M3A16(m): 9:24am On Nov 09, 2019
I am touched and my soul went mute reading this your story madam.
May God Almighty turn your tears to joy soon.
Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by Kadmi: 9:27am On Nov 09, 2019
Please join "do it yourself" herbal group, in facebook , you will surely give testimony, you need to detoxify your system.
Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by innobarca(m): 9:28am On Nov 09, 2019
This is reality, not zeeworld or Telemundo.
Some people think it's just easy, they will tell you to leave your marriage over any issue even when they don't know the problem and how it started.

Your husband loves you, he is not cheating on you, he has not impregnated another lady yet ... He is just frustrated,and also you are depressed.
I do not think he is a monster.

I also do not understand why some women do not understand that Miscarriage can also cause feelings of anxiety or depression , and
can lead to relationship problems and marriage crises.

If you have a friend or sister that is suffering from the problem, go closer to them to understand how it affects people negatively.

Some women will start remembering their past life, the abortions and mess up their emotions.

Some will become very sad, some will only be thinking of children, children, children all the time that any little issue from the husband turns to( Is it because I have not given you a child?) even when the man is not too worried.

I have seen many women complain that their husband do not want to follow them to pastors, prophets..... They will make the home unbearable with tears and complains, they are always blaming themselves for the miscarriages and the man will become restless.

If you know that your husband wants only children, he does not love you, he does not care about your feelings, he does not want a future with you ... Then you can leave.
But I do not think that your husband wants just children.

A friend of mine had his first child after 3 years of marriage, but before that his wife was always sad, always quarrels with him, always traveling to stay with her mother and always crying and talking about why she is not pregnant yet.
After having her first child, she begged her husband to forgive her for the emotional torture she caused him.

Advice.
There are certain common causes of miscarriage, I also know it can be treated.
Make love with your husband at the right time, try to be happy and not worry too much about the situation bc sometimes it's difficult to get pregnant when depressed or Sad.
You have gotten pregnant before, had miscarriages.
You said 2016....does it mean no pregnancy again since 2016? Does it mean you have a problem? Does it mean your husband has low sperm count?
If everything is okay, both of you should keep trying but you must try to be happy, talk to your husband so both of you can be happy together to make babies.


Your husband is frustrated, it's not only women that suffer depression resulting from miscarriages, loving and caring men are also affected when miscarriage happens.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by maasoap(m): 9:30am On Nov 09, 2019
digitaltrades:


If you were not blind in the mind while reading my comment, you would see where I asked whether they went for medical examination before they got married.

Medical examination will detect such abnormalities before marriage.

The woman concerned didn't even complain, which is a sign that I may be right.

digitaltrades:



Did you commit abortions before you married him? How many babies did you kill this way? Repeated miscarriage is usually consequent of multiple abortions.

Did you tell him about those ugly pasts? Did the two of you go for medical examination before you got married?

It may be the ghost of the past coming to haunt you.

Highly distasteful to throw this kind of words at someone going through this kind of shiit. You could have been subtle instead of showing lack of empathy with your use of words.

Copy Ayotemide

1 Like

Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by digitaltrades: 9:37am On Nov 09, 2019
maasoap:




Highly distasteful to throw this kind of words at someone going through this kind of shiit. You could have been subtle instead of showing lack of empathy with your use of words.

Copy Ayotemide

And you left out the question about medical examination before marriage? You are intentionally blind and mischievous

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