Sometimes when some adult-kids comes to the platform to express their worries , I do wonder the kind of role models dey will be to their children...
Can you imagine this simple prob this lady brought to the internet... What of if it's a spiritual attacks , you will carry it to the TV or radio station ....

Marriage is not about sex or how to dance and impress someone on your wedding day... It's really hardwork for your marriage to work and to produce a great rewards... The journey start , now!

elyte89:
C as ppu dey advice op to pray.... Isn't it illogical advising/forcing one to pray @ age 35?


Don't u av problems /needs to table to God?


I won't even advice u to pray because of ur husband, rada pray because of ursef, everyone needs to pray including op...


Yeye op

Live this opinion for the wife to make, her husband isn't asking too much in my opinion, he should respect him as the leader of the family.
Also the man should act responsible too by providing.

ur husband wants to leave u cos u dont pray regularly AGAIN.........take note of that emphazised word.
meaning when u were dating or courting, u were a devoted prayer partner,
sorry to say, maybe it was ur persistence in prayer that got him attracted to u, but now, u feel u are free to do what u like, u feel u have finally executed ur plan of deceiving him and getting into his life,

sis, life is simple
its either u leave or u become fervent in ur prayer just as u were before

arinpe16:
Good evening everyone. Please I need your advice.

My husband has been keeping malice with me because I don't pray regularly again (we're Muslims) and he's threatening to divorce me (we only did court wedding and yet to do Nikkah).

He's eats my food but doesn't talk to me. This has been going on for over a year now and it's getting worse. Can I tell his parents? They are strong Muslims and I'm afraid they may blame me more. He also doesn't give me money anymore. I'm tired of his stinginess and he's very insensitive. He believes I'm a devil since I don't pray even though things have changed for the better for him since we met.

He also doesn't believe I can get a husband since I'm close to 35. Please, I'm confused. I don't know what to do.

Lemme say my own.

Sighs, if only you know how easy it will be for the devil to attack your home and it's finances, if as he his married his wife is not a praying wife.

I'm not Muslim but one thing I know is this. I dont get tired praying. It's not when troubles or problems bombard your life or your husband's life before u who remember God.

Your husband is just being careful and cautious. He prays 5 times a day even though he's comfortable, simply shows he knows the devil can attack him or his family at any time. He's already covered himself with prayers, the weak line for enemy to attack is now you.
Don't u know if illness is thrown your way, God forbid. He will be the one to spend and carry your enemy upandan. Dont u know such attacks can collapse his financial standing in the family and make him poor aftewards? He's trying to protect all he has laboured for. And with you not praying? A weak link is already discovered which enemies can use and attack his life or yours. Especially yours. And there is no way he won't spend money to make sure u are well again.

To before arm is to be fore warned

I'm Christian, tomorrow is church. I'm kind of weak to go out tomorrow to church. I feel like sleeping and relaxing indoors but whenever I think of how comfortable I feel at home, I will be like lemme just relax Jor and not go to church.

But my past of how I suffered will flash through my mind and eyes and my inner voice will say, sighs Victorian don't be all too comfortable and relaxed in your prayer life. U don't need suffering again to appear before u remember to go out and worship God, just twice in a week. It's not too much.

Immediately the way I suffered flashed right through my eyes, Na church Straight the next day or prayers before I sleep every night. You don't tell deaf and dumb say war dey come.
Ive even introduced prayers into the life of my man . It's very very important.

Don't see prayer as a task. See prayer to God as a way of appreciating God and placing your family in God's hands.

The air you breathe today is not yours. Its just a Privilege. So please remember to always pray to God. Few minutes and u are done. Try and make it a habit.

Be prayerful. And remove the idea of remarrying another man . It's not as easy as u think .

arinpe16:


I'm not fighting God. I'm not used to praying 5 times daily before we met and he knows. I think he's only using it as an excuse. Is it enough reason to.want.a.divorce?

I will accept you if he chase u out..

arinpe16:
@baby124, He prays regularly and we have kids.
@pharmagba Did you read the post at all? He's the one telling me that I'm not marketable again. As per obedience and humility, don't judge please. You do not know me.
He doesn't set good example for me. He will pray, eat my food, have sex with me and still keep malice with me? Is that what the Qur'an says about religion? We've been together for 5 years and he didn't see it as a big deal. Why is it now that everything good is coming his way, he suddenly start seeing me as being a devil, not marketable and what not.
So, I'll have to pray for him to love me and do his right? Just imagine. He can't even correct me without threatening me with divorce. Is being divorced a disease?

As long as I never wish him bad and I'm trying, he should know I'll get there, but it takes time. So, i ask again, is divorce the answer?

.

There are some pressing issues in your marriage, that you are hiding or he is hiding that's 1.
2. That he threatens you with divorce, is a good weapon to use in order to make you pray your 5 salats.
3. That you are afraid of divorce not Allah is another issue separately. Because life is short for no body is promised tommoro.
Lastly recite suratul Falaq & Nas as many as you can, for when I was having troubles with praying salat, this two surahs cured me of my laziness & spiritual weakness. May Allah strengthen you, ameen.

Then leave his home and go build your own with your money

If his threat for you to pack out is becoming unbearable, just tell him to inform your parents

It's obviouse he is not interested in the marriage anymore

Just make up your mind if it really means that you have to pack out

Forget about the age threat, you can find love at any age

Your peace of mind and happiness is your priority now

Don't let him frustrate you the more

Even if you don't pack out, he will still marry another who fe as the religion permits

Use him for money rituals before you leave his house

arinpe16:
Good evening everyone. Please I need your advice.

My husband has been keeping malice with me because I don't pray regularly again (we're Muslims) and he's threatening to divorce me (we only did court wedding and yet to do Nikkah).

He's eats my food but doesn't talk to me. This has been going on for over a year now and it's getting worse. Can I tell his parents? They are strong Muslims and I'm afraid they may blame me more. He also doesn't give me money anymore. I'm tired of his stinginess and he's very insensitive. He believes I'm a devil since I don't pray even though things have changed for the better for him since we met.

He also doesn't believe I can get a husband since I'm close to 35. Please, I'm confused. I don't know what to do.

Women and complain are like Siamese twins. Na wah o!
...and the way y'all make it seem like you all are the victims ehn...

arinpe16:
Good evening everyone. Please I need your advice.

My husband has been keeping malice with me because I don't pray regularly again (we're Muslims) and he's threatening to divorce me (we only did court wedding and yet to do Nikkah).

He's eats my food but doesn't talk to me. This has been going on for over a year now and it's getting worse. Can I tell his parents? They are strong Muslims and I'm afraid they may blame me more. He also doesn't give me money anymore. I'm tired of his stinginess and he's very insensitive. He believes I'm a devil since I don't pray even though things have changed for the better for him since we met.

He also doesn't believe I can get a husband since I'm close to 35. Please, I'm confused. I don't know what to do.

If you cannot do what he wants , then leave.
Finito!
The innocent man doesn’t want his kids to take after you, the same way you took after your parents!

The only problem is that the guy met her like that and didnt voice his displeasure, now he is moving the goalposts

But then, they are not even his goalposts, but God's...

This statement is sounding somehow:

arinpe16:
He believes I'm a devil since I don't pray even though things have changed for the better for him since we met..

Are you trying to say that your prayers are unnecessary or what Sorry to say but you have a wrong attitude.

His life has improved since you met, and so? You are exempt from praying because you are his good luck charm?

So if things turn bad should he chase you away??

baby124:

Lol. OP, I can tell you are a modern/enlightened wife stuck with an Alfa. I am sure you can put the bolded together in a very respectable way that it will also touch his bones. Then you pray with him that night so you cover the shade . He no go try am again except he’s an agbaya. If he’s really as religious as you say, he will lay up all night wondering how to apologize or ask for forgiveness and change his ways.

Also, try to tell him not to demean you on your age and threaten you with divorce. Just communicate with him well and, let him know how wrong he is in a Muslim wife way. If it’s prayer that will bring peace into your home, then go ahead and pray. Make sure you pray with him too when he’s at home.

it seems op is a stubborn and disobedient lady... I'm not sure thiw your solution will work for her..

Why did it take her this long to seek help
Why didn't she change her ways all these years, despite the warning from her hubby

He can't divorce you with that reason

I will advise you to get a job or business that will take all your time ,

I'm sure he will not accept

arinpe16:
Good evening everyone. Please I need your advice.

My husband has been keeping malice with me because I don't pray regularly again (we're Muslims) and he's threatening to divorce me (we only did court wedding and yet to do Nikkah).

He's eats my food but doesn't talk to me. This has been going on for over a year now and it's getting worse. Can I tell his parents? They are strong Muslims and I'm afraid they may blame me more. He also doesn't give me money anymore. I'm tired of his stinginess and he's very insensitive. He believes I'm a devil since I don't pray even though things have changed for the better for him since we met.

He also doesn't believe I can get a husband since I'm close to 35. Please, I'm confused. I don't know what to do.

Sister, start praying regularly and beg Allah to improve your relationship.

arinpe16:
Good evening everyone. Please I need your advice.

My husband has been keeping malice with me because I don't pray regularly again (we're Muslims) and he's threatening to divorce me (we only did court wedding and yet to do Nikkah).

He's eats my food but doesn't talk to me. This has been going on for over a year now and it's getting worse. Can I tell his parents? They are strong Muslims and I'm afraid they may blame me more. He also doesn't give me money anymore. I'm tired of his stinginess and he's very insensitive. He believes I'm a devil since I don't pray even though things have changed for the better for him since we met.

He also doesn't believe I can get a husband since I'm close to 35. Please, I'm confused. I don't know what to do.

You are 35 and you think men will be happy to marry you? Well most men will and many will regret to the extend of you noticing.
I dey like mature girls o but of recent I am looking for a young mature in mind girl.
I am beginning to think that you believe your husband isn't the right man you should have married.
You think all the men admiring you in your husbands house would want to put you in their house?
Woman, you are lusting after something and if you don't control yourself you will regret all days of your life.
S.x no be food o.
Last. last na you go tire.
35, you think say you still dey 15?

crackhaus:
My only issue here is that he's not talking to you but still eating your food.
Does that man like his life at all...

Be very careful of him he might just be another terrorists around

arinpe16:
Good evening everyone. Please I need your advice.

My husband has been keeping malice with me because I don't pray regularly again (we're Muslims) and he's threatening to divorce me (we only did court wedding and yet to do Nikkah).

He's eats my food but doesn't talk to me. This has been going on for over a year now and it's getting worse. Can I tell his parents? They are strong Muslims and I'm afraid they may blame me more. He also doesn't give me money anymore. I'm tired of his stinginess and he's very insensitive. He believes I'm a devil since I don't pray even though things have changed for the better for him since we met.

He also doesn't believe I can get a husband since I'm close to 35. Please, I'm confused. I don't know what to do.

I really don't get.
This is an avoidable problem..
Start praying too
There's no way you both are together for 24 hours..
You can choose to pray with him anytime he's praying, Abi Wetin hard for there.
Plus you are aware he can marry up to 4 wives, don't be carried away and think you can win him over.

crackhaus:
My only issue here is that he's not talking to you but still eating your food.
Does that man like his life at all...

The man is just playing lotto with his life.

MedicH:
when u said he eats your food i got a lot of mixed feelings. pls which food exactly? the one he eats before he eat or the one he eats after he eat

Oh ma lord!
Wich kind question be this
Wetin concern u with d kind foods wey d man dey chow?

[quote author=arinpe16 post=83885684]@baby124, He prays regularly and we have kids.
@pharmagba Did you read the post at all? He's the one telling me that I'm not marketable again. As per obedience and humility, don't judge please. You do not know me.
He doesn't set good example for me. He will pray, eat my food, have sex with me and still keep malice with me? Is that what the Qur'an says about religion? We've been together for 5 years and he didn't see it as a big deal. Why is it now that everything good is coming his way, he suddenly start seeing me as being a devil, not marketable and what not.
So, I'll have to pray for him to love me and do his right? Just imagine. He can't even correct me without threatening me with divorce. Is being divorced a disease?

As long as I never wish him bad and I'm trying, he should know I'll get there, but it takes time. So, i ask again, is divorce the answer?
op ....
a word is enough 4 d wise

skylarr:
Honestly, you don’t have any excuse woman. If you find it difficult to pray after 5 years what explanation do you want to offer for that. What sort of influence do you wish to have on your kids. I think you’re being a bad example. The man is trying his best. The only issue I have with him is being stingy. It’s his duty to provide for your needs . He shouldn’t eat the food he has not dropped money for

Don't mind her.... I smell lie in her story...The guy might be dropping money for the family upkeep... Maybe some excesses money that some women used to trick their husbands to collect is what he's not dropping...
A faithful Muslium guy knows his onus as a husband. he must provide for his family...but this lady came to paint the scenario bad so that we will be blaming the guy...
Madam, if you can cope with the lifestyles of a faithful Muslim why do you join yourself to him In marriage..? except you are a devil-sent to wittle down his passion for God.

Though I'm not a Muslim but what this lady brought to this platform lacks common sense..

midnighter:
Since we dont have all the information, without reading too much into the original OP

Can you guys honestly say that a Muslim who doesnt pray 5 times a day makes any sense to you? In Nigeria??

The only problem is that the guy met her like that and didnt voice his displeasure, now he is moving the goalposts

But then, they are not even his goalposts, but God's...

Praying 5 times a day is no joke. Even Christians that are mandated to pray just once sef, a lot of us don’t pray. OP is a moderate Muslim who married a conc Muslim. This is the root of the problem. The husband knew this before marriage but believes her could make her pray more. I am honestly tired of people trying to force others to change.

He accepted her as a moderate Muslim and married her, he really should not be blaming her. Rather he should be coaxing her back into a regular prayer life by example and praying as a family. In my own family my father was the prayer warrior and not my mother. But when he called for family prayer or prayer during certain occasions we must respect and join him in prayer.

There is no mandate on one spouse being the prayer warrior. Where one is weak, the other has to try their best to fill in the gap until they come to an understanding. Not by insults and threats that can do permanent damage to the marriage. She will never forget what he said and how he treated her you know?

kestolove95:
Then leave na...must u tell us? Nonsense

Very big nonsense and rubbish. She has all the strength to come online and narrate her little or no family problem, reply almost each comment, yet cant discuss meaningful issues with her husband. Ordinary to pray 5 times a day she cant and wants Nairaland filled with 80% kids with -ve energies to give her counsel.

She knows the problem between both of them yet doesn't want to adjust so peace can reign. This is what you get when kids and baby-adults rush into marriages.

arinpe16:


I'm not fighting God. I'm not used to praying 5 times daily before we met and he knows. I think he's only using it as an excuse. Is it enough reason to.want.a.divorce?

Please start praying 5 times aday. Do it as a habit u will get used to it. Its no big deal. Leave ur comfort zone a lil.

frozen70g:


This is not how yo advice someone going through emotional pains

Emotional pain for where? The woman is just stupid and arrogant. Imagine ordinary praying, something that wouldn't take 5mins, she find it difficult to do, it makes one wonder what else she's leaving out.....

Mood11:
If you are tired of being a Muslim why not denounce the faith and move on with your life?

Or don't you know that your attitude towards prayer will in a way draw him back too?

Madam abeg carry your cross

she is a Muslim she can't carry cross, she can only carry her husband

baby124 post=83 no888525:

Praying 5 times a day is no joke. Even Christians that are mandated to pray just once sef, a lot of us don’t pray. OP is a moderate Muslim who married a conc Muslim. This is the root of the problem. The husband knew this before marriage but believes her could make her pray more. I am honestly tired of people trying to force others to change. He accepted her as a moderate Muslim and married her, he really should not be blaming her. Rather he should be coaxing her back into a regular prayer life by example and praying as a family. In my own family my father was the prayer warrior and not my mother. But when he called for family prayer or prayer during certain occasions we must respect and join him in prayer. There is no mandate on one spouse being the prayer warrior.

Marriage don't work with this your formula...
In marriage there are flexibility ...

olatunyemi:
I can't marry a non praying lady and I pray God won't give me such wife. In this life with enemy, war and hatred at left, right and centre, only your wife's genuine prayer and mum's can save you

Na so.

baby124:

Praying 5 times a day is no joke. Even Christians that are mandated to pray just once sef, a lot of us don’t pray. OP is a moderate Muslim who married a conc Muslim. This is the root of the problem. The husband knew this before marriage but believes her could make her pray more. I am honestly tired of people trying to force others to change.

He accepted her as a moderate Muslim and married her, he really should not be blaming her. Rather he should be coaxing her back into a regular prayer life by example and praying as a family. In my own family my father was the prayer warrior and not my mother. But when he called for family prayer or prayer during certain occasions we must respect and join him in prayer.

There is no mandate on one spouse being the prayer warrior. Where one is weak, the other has to try their best to fill in the gap until they come to an understanding. Not by insults and threats that can do permanent damage to the marriage. She will never forget what he said and how he treated her you know?

Yes, I have modified that statement because I realise that not everybody is devout in the way they practice their religion.

Its not fair to assume that all of them follow it down to the letter. As far as they have worked it out between them and it works for them, thats good enough. After all SU couples can still divorce and some atheists are still happily married

He should have started it from the beginning instead of 5 years in. Its not fair to start trying to force her now when it was not a big part of her life all this while. And all the talk of age and insults is very unnecessary. No "religious" person should be abusing his wife in that way. Wont that kind of insulting talk cancel out all the prayers he has been praying? He should approach her with love and not coercion

On the other hand, the way she is writing is showing some strange attitude. Its sounding like vanity or recalcitrance

That "Salah" is one of the main parts of Islam and she's talking "his life has improved since he met me". What do those two things have to do with each other...people who pray dont add anything their husbands lives or what