₦airaland Forum

maximusprime2000:
Dont contradict and delud urself. Where did u read that money and success dont boost ego automatically. are u a robot?. ...

Martinez39:
@Ubunja

Care to share why you and your baby mama eventually broke up?

ubunja:
her father meddled. The tribes thing.

Martinez39:
Too bad. A girl, Duggedised12, here who don't know your history was accusing you of maltreating and dumping your baby mama.

Duggedised12:
her farther meddled before or after you got her pregnant?

Martinez39:
Go and sit down. Nothing can stop you from trying to punch holes on Ubunja's personality. Mtewww.

Duggedised12:
lol ,i asked a simple question. Before or after. Cos i know guys who will impregnate a lady as revenge for her farther refusing his proposal. That i have seen tho it was the guys parents who were against him marrying the lady,they have two kids not still not married. So my question was a logical one.

And by the way, why are you always on the edge, are you this angry and grumpy in your everyday life? I can help feel better if you want to.

Martinez39:
Read the op. Your answer is there.

You can't make me feel better. My blood is boiling. Good day.

Martinez39:
Too bad. Two girls, Duggedised12 & Ariza (Lilwetd!ck aka Defenderalert), here who don't know your history were accusing you of maltreating and dumping your baby mama. They are desperate to paint you as frustrated, callous, and broke.

ubunja:
you have time to waste justifying anything to people on the internet. I have been more than a decade dealing with haters online. Their energy would be better spent elsewhere.

Ardar:
The op wrote this hoping to educate men about the benefits of been Chosen not realizing the he is indirectly teaching women the same.

Women who have their men wrapped around their fingers will see this thread and like it cuz it validates their beliefs

while girls like me who are still learning about men will use this info to my advantage

Talk about shooting your self in the foot

Thank you ubunja for opening my eyes more.

IamPlato:
Lol. I Read Through This And Remember My Present Girl...

ubunja:
story time!!!!! Mind sharing the story brotherman?

IamPlato:
in My Good Mood I Will Share Her Picture Here.

I Will Give Her 8/10 although many Others Give Her 9/10 or A 10, light Skin Girl. We Met In Church, she Was So Pretty That Some Of My Friends Concluded that She Was A Bad Girl. I Cannot Tell You What Exactly she Likes About Me although She Kept Saying Things Like "my Smile Melts Her, I Know A Litttle About Everything, etc" She Told Me She Liked Me From The Day She Saw and Had A Crush. She Showed Me Chats She Had With Guys, there Was This Rich Lekki Doctor Who Was Ready To Do Anything For Her
.
My Friends Want Her But Its Mission Impossible For Them, but For Me It Was A Mission I Didnt Even embark on, she Found Me I Can Say... I Told Her Somethings About Me which Might Not Be Pleasing, but This Lady Said She Wants To Follow Me To the End.
.
The Attraction Is Real, I Have Decided To Keep Her but If She Flops Tomorrow, i Am Already Prepared For That.

ubunja:
there's nothing better than being chosen. While richer guys will struggle, for you everything is just pressbutton. Nice one bro. Thanks for sharing. Pic won't be necessary tho. Let's respect her privacy.

Duggedised12:
Thank you ,the truth seems to hurt people. Post a question here and on quora the difference will be clear . the average Nigerian man is uncultured which is an irony cos they swear they are the custodians of culture and rich heritage.i see some comments here and i am in great awe at how low a person can reason. Only a hand full of people here can engage without resulting to insults which is a classic sign of lack of emotional intelligence. Most of this people are angry about something but for some reason they find this forum a safe haven to explore their frustrations . Over the years i have had to grow a thick back just to be able to have a conversation. Such monstrous rest@rds.

pansophist:
The attached video is funny

Most women lined up behind few of the guys, leaving the rest with few to nothing. The 20/80 pareto principle at play.

Women and hypergamy.

rex444:
: By being someone else's fantasy you deny yourself your own fantasy. Each side of the equation has its good and bad. how do you balance this equation pls

Grandlord:
Great expository write-up. I wanna say, for the same reason a man gets his heart broken chasing after a woman who doesn't like him, a woman also gets treated like trash by the man who doesn't like her too.

That reason is compatibility, which sadly, is only based on luck and probability when it comes to love and relationship. It is usually very rare to see two people love each other equally, for no reason( according to the op). That of course, would always be the perfect relationship, any day.

So 50:50 love is super rare. Other ratios are more often, the reality. That's where compromise and tolerance would be needed to stay together. Though compromise and tolerance would only be effective if the 'love ratio' isn't so tilted to one side. Otherwise, we see the vulnerable party getting taken advantage of or better still, pitied, which would inevitably lead to them getting hurt.

For a player, who doesn't want to settle down, the OP's essay is a perfect game strategy. But if you're serious or done playing, then find someone with whom your affection ratio is closer to 50:50, say 60:40 or 55:45, and make up for the deficits with compromise and tolerance.

ubunja:
How To Get A Girl To Put You On A Pedestal.

PROLOGUE.
You have seen it before in your hood. A pretty girl has all the men hitting on her and trying to impress her with money and things. She ignores them. Or plays them. Because she's got her eye on some insignificant nonentity of a Guy. As hard to get as the girl is for other men, this nobody of a Guy gets her attention easy. He makes her laugh easy. He impresses her easy. Much to the anger and confusion of all the other men who know they are better by far than the Guy.

Now, what does the Guy have that all the other men don't have that has cast a spell on the girl?

nothing.

The guy is simply chosen.

MOYO MUTI UNOMERA PAUNODA.
In the Zimbabwean Shona language we have a saying: "Moyo muti unomera paunoda" - The heart is like a tree that grows where it chooses.

We can't predict where a plant will grow. A plant will grow in the most favorable places like river banks and rain forests. But it will also grow in the least favorable places like deserts and cracks on a pavement and against all odds thrive.

Same with love.

Love is emotions and emotions are Unpredictable. Like the Unpredictable growth of plants.
Love flourishes in the most favorable places but it will also flourish in the least favorable places. "Moyo muti unomera paunoda" - The heart is like a tree that grows where it chooses. In other words, "The heart wants what the heart wants". And whom the heart wants is the Prize.

GET A GIRL TO RESPECT YOU.
So much has been said about how women no longer respect men. How women no longer submit and put men in their rightful place as the Head.

Women were born to follow. Men were born to lead. But, remember followers choose the leader. Not the other way round. We vote for our leaders. Our leaders don't vote for us.

It's the same with women and respect.

If your girl doesn't respect you there's precious little you can do to make her respect you. You played the game backwards. You were supposed to find a girl who respected you already then make her your girl. But instead you found a girl, made her your GF then tried to make her respect you. It doesn't work that way.

You don't make a girl respect you. That's impossible. Girls respect whoever they think is worthy of respect. What you do is You find a girl who respects you already and make her your girl. This way there's no struggle to earn anything because everything is already given. Just like how God loved us before we were born and there's nothing we did to earn His love. God loves us because He CHOSE us. That is true love. A girl must love you because she chose you. Not because you did anything to earn her love. Love must not be earned.

Same with respect.

If a girl already thinks you're respectable then you're a thousand steps ahead of every other guy trying to earn her respect because in love NOTHING must be earned.

Men do many things backwards... A man will meet a Scantily Dressed girl, fall in love then try to make her wear long dresses. It won't work. She'll tell you it was the miniskirts and minidresses that made you love her, why must she now change. What you must do is find a decently dressed girl if you want a decently dressed wife. Anyways, it will be far easier to make a decent girl dress sexy than to make a ho dress decently. You can't turn a ho into a housewife but you can turn a housewife into a ho. Remember every girl is looking for a guy she can be bad for.

MY STORY.
I found my babymama a virgin at about 23.

She was strict and many guys had tried their luck with her and failed. But when she met me she practically handed herself to me. Winning her heart was so effortless. And she's still the easiest girl I ever fvcked. And I fvcked her so much that within months she gave me a baby.

One day a friend visited us and was shocked to see my GF kneel down to serve me food. (God is my Witness) When we were alone my friend said I must be hitting my GF that's why she served me food kneeling. I was offended. Because I never asked anyone to kneel for me. And I explained this to him but I could see he was not convinced.

Two years after breaking up I met my babymama and I wanted to check something on her phone but there was a password (she never used to put passwords). I asked for the password and she replied "it's your name". I didn't believe it but typed it anyways. And the phone unlocked!!!. I was surprised.

A few months ago this year, I went to see her because I missed my daughter and she (my babymama) said, "Whatever you're doing, when you get tired of it, I will be waiting for you". I didn't reply. Then she told me our daughter was grown and she needed a brother. Guess what? I will give her another baby soonest!

We have an inside joke where I tell her she can't move on cause I cast a spell on her. She laughs hard at it.

Why am I telling you all this??

I'm telling you this Because I did NOTHING to get this girl to fall so deep in love with me. I didn't campaign. I didn't spend a cent. I didn't buy her anything. Not even. What happened is one simple thing that was beyond even my control: I FITTED THE DESCRIPTION OF THE TYPE OF GUY SHE WANTED. Simple.

Whatever this girl saw in me she liked it. I didn't put any effort to make her like me. She just liked me. I was her type. Was she my type? No. She was from the wrong tribe. And was too reserved for my liking. BUT I WAS HER TYPE. That was what mattered. And I ran with that. I didn't even know she was a virgin. She kept it a secret until the moment I took out my dick.

The moral of the story is this:
If a girl loves you first you are the Prize. If a woman likes you first you are the Trophy. And there's very little you can do wrong in her eyes. She'll always excuse your behavior. Someone who likes you without you doing anything to impress them, is someone who'll find it hard to stop liking you when you do something to disappoint them. If your actions didn't create the love, your actions can't destroy the love. Because it's never about your actions, but about YOU.

UNDERSTANDING WHAT IT MEANS TO BE THE PRIZE OR TROPHY.
Any guy can be the Prize or the Trophy to a girl. But there's a very particular way of going about it. You have to play the game right.

There are three things that make a trophy a trophy:

1. A Trophy Is Perfect As Is.

This is the most important thing. The less you do yet the more you impress a girl, a girl you impress the most by doing the least to the point that you impress her TOTALLY by doing TOTALLY NOTHING is the girl with whom you have a realistic chance of being the Prize.

The only girl you should give a chance
is that girl so breathtaken, so infatuated with you that she thinks you are the Prize, for simply breathing. And nothing more. The way a trophy is seen perfect AS IS. So also a girl must see you perfect AS IS. That way there's no spending, pretending, lying and campaigning to earn her affection.

In love NOTHING must be earned.

2. A Trophy Doesn't Choose Who Wins It.

Take for example a football trophy. It doesn't choose what quality of teams get to compete for it. Or what quality of team will take it home. The only way the trophy can get itself won by a decent level team is to be a trophy of a decent football league.
A minor league trophy will be won by minor league teams unless it becomes a major league trophy then it will be won by a major league team.

As a trophy you attract your level. If you don't like the level of women you're attracting then improve and elevate to a higher level. Then higher level women you'll attract.

3. A Trophy Loves No One.

A trophy or a prize may be dreamed of and fantasized about by many, but itself it fantasizes and dreams of no one. A trophy doesn't compete for anyone. It is competed for. A trophy doesn't love anyone. It is loved.

In love, the one who loves less is the trophy.

In all my dealings with women, the breakups that have hurt the most and made me cry the longest were with those women I myself chose, pursued and won. I was too invested. I begged the most and accommodated the greatest. I was the trophy holder. And when the trophy left - as all trophies do when a better competitor appears - I was left devastated.

Look back at all your Exes and you'll see a pattern: The girls you were hurt the most to breakup with were the ones you chased and pursued the hardest. While the girls who brought themselves to you, it was easy not only to get them but also to breakup with them, because YOU were the prize.

UNDERSTAND YOU ARE THE PREY.
The greatest reason guys don't become trophies is guys have made themselves the Hunters.

A hunter can never be a trophy.

Do you know something called Trophy Hunting? (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trophy_hunting) It is the hunting of animals for sport . And the ANIMALS that are hunted and shot are the trophies. Not the hunters. The Prey is the Trophy.

The Lion is king of the Jungle but who hunts? The Female lion. The hunter is not the King. The hunter is the chaser and the chaser has no value.

WHO'S THE TROPHY?
It's always easy to see who's the trophy and who's the hunter in any couple.

Who is more "needy"? On the streets, In photos who is always grabbing the other? Who always has their hand or arm around the other person? That's the hunter. The hunter has no value.

Look at any pictures of rich men or male celebs and stars and you'll see the WOMAN is always the one grabbing the man. Because the woman is the hunter and the man is the trophy.

Whereas pictures of ordinary couples have the MAN grabbing the woman, because the man is the hunter and the woman is the trophy.

WOMEN ARE THE PREDATORS.
The easiest way to get that girl who will worship and put you on a pedestal is for you to understand Women are the Hunters. Not men.

Girls are the Predators and boys are the Prey. God brought Eve to Adam. Eve was the hunter. Adam the prey.

Also Women have the pussy and the Womb. Lovemaking and babymaking are their jurisdiction. Weak as they are it is they who ultimately decide who gets to have sex and who gets to be born.

As a man understand and allow for that.

THE PREY IS THE PRIZE.
Seek and you shall find. And that which you'll find is the Prize. Not you. You are not the Prize. People go looking for treasure. Treasure doesn't go looking for people. We compete for a trophy, the trophy doesn't compete for us.

Whatever you seek/search for/look for, is the Prize. Whether that's a job, a place, an item or a person. It's the Prize. It's more important than you. And you can lose it to a better person than you.

Once you search, once you hunt, once you seek, the other person becomes the Prey. And the Prey is the Prize.

Remember the Prey can live without the Predator but the Predator needs the Prey to survive. The lion needs the gazelle and the kudus or it perishes. The gazelle and the kudus just need grass. So what's valuable? The prey or the predator? The Prey. The Prey is the Prize.

LET GIRLS CHOOSE.
We all have a "type". Or a "kind". Of a person who always catches our eye. We know what turns us on when we see it. That image of what turns us on is what we fantasize about and even masturbate to. Especially women. Women daydream a lot about love.

As a man, your security and longevity with a girl depends on how closely you fit the "type" and kind" of the guy she fantasizes about. The closer you align to her desire, the nearer you are to what she daydreams about, the smoother things will be for you because the more satisfied she'll be with you and the less inclined she'll be to cheat.

But you can't read minds and you don't know what a girl's fantasy is. You can't read hearts and you've no clue as to her desire. So how do you achieve the impossible and match a girl's fantasy and desire?

It's simple: YOU WAIT TO BE CHOSEN.

Wait for the girl whose fantasy matches what you are. Wait for the woman who desires a man like you. Wait for her to choose you. This way you are chosen AS YOU ARE. Without any need to do anything to impress anyone.

VIDEO.
The Pastor in the video below knows and understands the game. He knows women must choose. Watch and see how things must be done. See how much easier it is for men when women do the choosing:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbuquJHtTuY

That's how things must be done.

The attention and affection of a woman must never be earned, bought, paid for, fought for or struggled for. It must come freely WITHOUT you doing anything but breathing.

VIDEO ANALYSIS.
Now, on the video above, WHO IS THE PRIZE? The women who did the choosing or the men who waited to be chosen? Its the men of course. The men are the Prize because they are the women's fantasy. By choosing, the women got their fantasy. But by choosing they lost their power. The women lost their power because they are the ones who are in love. Not the men.

When you love someone, that person automatically has power over you. Because when you love someone you can lie, steal, pay, toil, slave, kill or kill yourself for that person. That's the power they hold over you.

In love, you are either the Hunter who identifies, pursues and acquires your Fantasy, or you're the Fantasy identified, pursued and acquired by the Hunter. The Hunter chases and possesses the fantasy ("she's the girl of my dreams and I finally won her heart" / "he's the guy of my dreams and I finally won his heart" ). But the Hunter who gets the fantasy has LESS power because he/she is the one infatuated, in lust and in love. Not the fantasy.

The fantasy, the person you call your dream guy or dream girl, while you can't live without them, they can live without you because you are not their dream anything.

The guys in the video above, they have more power because they are chosen. The women have less power because they chose. In quarrels the women will always be reminded, "You chose me. I didn't choose you!" - The most disempowering words you can say to anyone.
But the power each man holds over his woman comes at a cost to the man: By being someone else's fantasy you deny yourself your own fantasy. Each side of the equation has its good and bad.

THE CHOSEN IS THE PRIZE.
You have power over anyone to whom you're a fantasy. And you can only be a fantasy if you're chosen.

But how do you know a woman is choosing you? Green Lights of course. No Green lights no approach.

#TheRedPill
#MGTOW

Duggedised12:
So let me get this straight,you have a lady you met a virgin ,she has a daughter for you ,love you effortlesssly and even kneels down to serve you ,yet she is still your babymama? Wow you see why i said humans are insatiable? You just like every ingrate out there are the reason many women have had to borrow themselves sense and built up a defense mechanism so wicked men like you will not take advantage of them.

A man says he doesn't want a ho yet he cant wife a decent one who respects him, can you tell my why i should not call you a hypocrite ? Men like you are the ones who treat women anyhow because in their minds "she is not going anywhere,she will be waiting for me when i am done having fun with these hoes out here".

I must say you got yourself a perfect prey who isn't leaving your net any time soon ,so enjoy.

Duggedised12:
you see why we need to wake up and teach our daughters how to value themselves and stop bending over backwards for men. Nature itself already placed women at a disadvantage to have to bear the off spring but why do women now have to put up with such in toxic attitude from these men?

Here is a woman that everyone here will agree is "a good decent woman " but what does she get in return ? Disrespect ,dishonour and disregard.And sometimes when people say women dont know what they want ,i laugh ,but do men know what they want? A man who knows what he wants would have wifed this decent lady ,but what does he do instead? He goes screwing with the same "hoes" he vehemently curses and slut shames at every given opportunity.

In conclusion i think the op has a mental problem, it maybe narcissism or even fear of commitment but no lady should make herself a victim for a man's short coming.

Duggedised12:
but you can get her pregnant? Does that sound like someone with sense? . Why will you even date a lady from a tribe you dont like and put her in a family way if not wickedness ? ,why bring kids into dysfunctional homes with your stupidity ? Mr senseful how does that even make sense to you ? Oh i forgot a fool is wise in his own eyes so says the good old bible.

Duggedised12:
lol ,the typical male black nairalander finally reveals himself. i hope you feel better ,you sound distraught. Actually we both know who the idiot is here, and its you . useless black man. am off to quora where we have enlightened white men.

rex444:
: By being someone else's fantasy you deny yourself your own fantasy. Each side of the equation has its good and bad. how do you balance this equation pls

Fyi0:
Nonsense. Gerrarahere bitch

Belafonte:
Absolutely no need for this

ubunja:
yar but girls are out here getting pregnant for broke players.