Nairalanders pls come to my rescue as I have always come to people's rescue in topics related to co-existing with other people..

I am the first son of my family, I have a sister who is one year younger than I am.

For a very long time now, in fact from time immemorial, my mother has always taught my sister that it is

"ONLY ONE YEAR GAP BETWEEN THE BOTH OF US" - SO THEFORE THE SENIOR RESPECT THAT SHOULD BE ACCORDED TO ME SHOULD BE MINIMAL.


So fast forward to today. I am owing her some money for about two months now. And promised to pay her infact I have paid half of the money despite all the expenses on me in the family. She asked me to give her part of the money today, I told her I didn't have money, that the 15k with me is not mine. That I will give her 3k to hold hand, even tho it will cause me great inconveniences. She threatened to take the money, the whole 15k. I told her to stop that nonsense and I went to the bathroom to take my bath. On coming out of the bathroom, I noticed that my wallet was tempered with. The 15k Is no where to be found. I asked my Lil sis, she said it was sister that touched it.. I ran outside with my towel, and called out to my sister, but she walked off without turning back...

I cried inside my heart, because I know she didn't really need that money right then... I felt bitter, I don't even know what to do.... I found a way to sort for another 15k.

This is not the first time she has done something of similar behavior, and I brushed it off, afterall she's my sister...

Right now I am outside a beer parlour watching a match and typing this.. I am not feeling fine at all.. I am feeling bitter. Until now I always forget quickly what they do to me...


I don't know how to confront her when I get home. Whether to caution her verbally, or give her a slap.. Whether to keep mute and suck it up as usual and wait for when I am ready leave that house cos I understand that too much familiarity can breed disrespect. I have plans to leave before January.


What should I do..


I live with my mother and this sister and other of my little siblings. And I pay the house rent of where we live.

Lalasticla

Don’t hit her just scold her verbally and also expect some insults too lol ..

paul1995:
Don’t hit her just scold her verbally and also expect some insults too lol ..

is that all I should do...

Please OP don't confront her..........You need to explain all to your mother and make her realise she has fuelled the disrespect your sister is showing to you.

Whether to keep mute and suck it up as usual and wait for when I am ready leave that house cos I understand that too much familiarity can breed disrespect. I have plans to leave before January.



You're welcome

lilmax:
Whether to keep mute and suck it up as usual and wait for when I am ready leave that house cos I understand that too much familiarity can breed disrespect. I have plans to leave before January.



You're welcome

that's all you could say..?

I would advise you to stop disgracing yourself by asking for help from someone who does not respect you!

And yes, leaving the house would definitely improve the relationship in the future. But please, keep helping the family particularly your mum in any way you can.

Since this wasn't the first time she would take money you're owing her from your wallet (which also means this wasn't the first time that you sef are owing her money that she had loaned you), you should've taken your wallet to the bathroom with you or not leave it out in the open.

Olalan:
Please OP don't confront her..........You need to explain all to your mother and make her realise she has fuelled the disrespect your sister is showing to you.

she knows this, I don't know why they are doing this... In fact I called my mum immediately that incidence happened, and told her to call my sister to return the money as the money is not mine... She disconnected the call saying she was busy.

Hold it and leave.. Complaining is always useless and will only make you more angry..

It's a shame though that "see finish" also exists amongst blood related family members but know this; your absence will surely be felt and absence makes the heart grow fonder..

Just finish up your plans, move out and polish your life.. They're still family at the end of the day though so try to call in from time to time..
And your sister still def needs a talk from you.. I suggest you sit her down and talk one last sense into her just before you leave..

Your mum is at fault in all this; putting such ideas into her head, what was she even thinking?..

theButterfly:
Since this wasn't the first time she would take money you're owing her from your wallet (which also means this wasn't the first time that you sef are owing her money that she had loaned you), you should've taken your wallet to the bathroom with you and not leave it out in their open.

why should I do this in the house I pay the house rent for?

YourArewaSister:
. I would advise you to stop disgracing yourself by asking for help from someone who does not respect you!

And yes, leaving the house would definitely improve the relationship in the future. But please, keep helping the family particularly your mum in any way you can.

My brother I have vowed never to have anything to do with my sister concerning finance, this last debt, my mother was the one that coerced me into taking it, that afterall she was my sister. I tried to explain to her the incidence I've had with her before.. But because of the urgency of the situation, I had to take the money...

Meanwhile I always come through for her as a brother in times of needs, so I expect her to come through for me...

With all this stuffs I don't think we will ever have good bloods..

Depressed101:
is that all I should do...

Yeah control your temper and also stop lending money from her to avoid embarrassment

Depressed101:
she knows this, I don't know why they are doing this... In fact I called my mum immediately that incidence happened, and told her to call my sister to return the money as the money is not mine... She disconnected the call saying she was busy.

Are you sure you're the one paying the rent in that house?

It seems your presence is not needed there.

She collected her money back right?

Bros, dey quick pay your debt and make more money. Money stops nonsense.

KiidaACE:
Hold it and leave.. Complaining is always useless and will only make you more angry..

It's a shame though that "see finish" also exists amongst blood related family members but know this; your absence will surely be felt and absence makes the heart grow fonder..

Just finish up your plans, move out and polish your life.. They're still family at the end of the day though so try to call in from time to time..
And your sister still def needs a talk from you.. I suggest you sit her down and talk one last sense into her just before you leave..

Your mum is at fault in all this; putting such ideas into her head, what was she even thinking?..

there are some irregularities fostered by mum, but as a first son I make sure I break away from it, and try my best to keep the family united...

But my sister is frustrating my efforts and my smaller siblings are looking at/upto us

Suck it up and forget it, as u have paid her, now u r free. Chill its one of those things u have to take from ur family. Beside and outsider can do worst and u can't do shiiiit cos u r owing the person.

Born2Breed:
She collected her money back right?

Bros, dey quick pay your debt and make more money. Money stops nonsense.

indeed money stops nonsense, but compassion is priceless, and I think I deserve it with someone I share the same blood with

crackhaus:

Are you sure you're the one paying the rent in that house?

It seems your presence is not needed there.

I am.. I feel pain, cos I go through alot just for them, my savings is nothing to right home about...

Depressed101:
why should I do this in the house I pay the house rent for?

Because your sister seems to be on the stubborn and defiant side. You knew she had done this before, and on this particular day, after you told her you couldn't give her the 15k in your wallet and that you simply didn't have the remaining half of the money you're owing her (which actually seems to be more than 15k), she threatened to take that 15k. So, she kinda warned you beforehand that she would take the 15k. You're the one at fault b|c you shouldn't have taken any chances by leaving your wallet where she would find it.

Depressed101:
Nairalanders pls come to my rescue as I have always come to people's rescue in topics related to co-existing with other people..

I am the first son of my family, I have a sister who is one year younger than I am.

For a very long time now, in fact from time immemorial, my mother has always taught my sister that it is

"ONLY ONE YEAR GAP BETWEEN THE BOTH OF US" - SO THEFORE THE SENIOR RESPECT THAT SHOULD BE ACCORDED TO ME SHOULD BE MINIMAL.


So fast forward to today. I am owing her some money for about two months now. And promised to pay her infact I have paid half of the money despite all the expenses on me in the family. She asked me to give her part of the money today, I told her I didn't have money, that the 15k with me is not mine. That I will give her 3k to hold hand, even tho it will cause me great inconveniences. She threatened to take the money, the whole 15k. I told her to stop that nonsense and I went to the bathroom to take my bath. On coming out of the bathroom, I noticed that my wallet was tempered with. The 15k Is no where to be found. I asked my Lil sis, she said it was sister that touched it.. I ran outside with my towel, and called out to my sister, but she walked off without turning back...

I cried inside my heart, because I know she didn't really need that money right then... I felt bitter, I don't even know what to do.... I found a way to sort for another 15k.

This is not the first time she has done something of similar behavior, and I brushed it off, afterall she's my sister...

Right now I am outside a beer parlour watching a match and typing this.. I am not feeling fine at all.. I am feeling bitter. Until now I always forget quickly what they do to me...


I don't know how to confront her when I get home. Whether to caution her verbally, or give her a slap.. Whether to keep mute and suck it up as usual and wait for when I am ready leave that house cos I understand that too much familiarity can breed disrespect. I have plans to leave before January.


What should I do..


I live with my mother and this sister and other of my little siblings. And I pay the house rent of where we live.

Don't do anything .just ignore and assume...She will need your help in future..That's when you will remind her how she's been behaving bad to you and expect she changes from her ways...In this case ,you owe her, so you have no case...And you can't be too sure that she doesn't need the money...I owed my sis over 200K once,normally when I owe, she would collect about 50% or so and forget the rest..Buh this particular one,she collected the complete amount back...That we are family doesn't mean I shud owe any kindred till eternity...So you just paid up your debts..Man up and move on.

Depressed101:
I am.. I feel pain, cos I go through alot just for them, my savings is nothing to right home about...

I don't understand how you lost so much respect in a house you pay rent for.

Make plans to move out and let them continue paying the rent themselves.

Depressed101:
Nairalanders pls come to my rescue as I have always come to people's rescue in topics related to co-existing with other people..

I am the first son of my family, I have a sister who is one year younger than I am.

For a very long time now, in fact from time immemorial, my mother has always taught my sister that it is

"ONLY ONE YEAR GAP BETWEEN THE BOTH OF US" - SO THEFORE THE SENIOR RESPECT THAT SHOULD BE ACCORDED TO ME SHOULD BE MINIMAL.


So fast forward to today. I am owing her some money for about two months now. And promised to pay her infact I have paid half of the money despite all the expenses on me in the family. She asked me to give her part of the money today, I told her I didn't have money, that the 15k with me is not mine. That I will give her 3k to hold hand, even tho it will cause me great inconveniences. She threatened to take the money, the whole 15k. I told her to stop that nonsense and I went to the bathroom to take my bath. On coming out of the bathroom, I noticed that my wallet was tempered with. The 15k Is no where to be found. I asked my Lil sis, she said it was sister that touched it.. I ran outside with my towel, and called out to my sister, but she walked off without turning back...

I cried inside my heart, because I know she didn't really need that money right then... I felt bitter, I don't even know what to do.... I found a way to sort for another 15k.

This is not the first time she has done something of similar behavior, and I brushed it off, afterall she's my sister...

Right now I am outside a beer parlour watching a match and typing this.. I am not feeling fine at all.. I am feeling bitter. Until now I always forget quickly what they do to me...


I don't know how to confront her when I get home. Whether to caution her verbally, or give her a slap.. Whether to keep mute and suck it up as usual and wait for when I am ready leave that house cos I understand that too much familiarity can breed disrespect. I have plans to leave before January.


What should I do..


I live with my mother and this sister and other of my little siblings. And I pay the house rent of where we live.

My brother TOO MUCH FAMILIARITY NA EM DEY TURN GOOD MORNING TO HOW FAR.
Do what you have to do and leave the house and you will see that ur sis unconsciously according you the respect that you deserve even tho she's older than you.

Shikina!!

Depressed101:
there are some irregularities fostered by mum, but as a first son I make sure I break away from it, and try my best to keep the family united...

But my sister is frustrating my efforts and my smaller siblings are looking at/upto us

I feel you bro, you're trying but you sound like a defeated person.. You're the first son and you gotta impose yourself and stamp your authority..

Say something and mean it, meaning you should never bluff. whatever you tell them, make sure to see it to the very end be it a promise or a threat.. Don't get me wrong, this doesn't stop you from being a loving elder bro to your siblings but they should be able to clearly tell when you're serious and when you're not and you should also limit money interactions with your sister..
Have some pride and don't borrow from her even if she's the only one available... It's better you be lending to her not the other way round..

Being a man ain't easy and the first step is total independence so move out bro.. But the real big bro's out there have the special power of bringing a rebel sibling and talking to them with love and without grudge.. Just one prolonged heart to heart talk between you both could do the trick..

Goodluck bro..

Stop all this nonsense of being an elder brother, so you can owe your younger sister money for two months and not expect her to feel vexed! I don’t know why elder bro and sis always want to ride on the younger ones.

What if the table was turned, would you have allowed her owed you this long? Please stop the nonsense and let her have the money. What if she claimed she didn’t have the money when you asked? Would you have killed her? Now it is family, you are talking of calling your mother, what a sisi.

What if you borrowed same from just a friend you are older than? Would you have owed him this long or call your mother when he forces you to get the money back?

Just do what is right and forget the elder or bigger brother nonsense! Pay back her money.

KiidaACE:
I feel you bro, you're trying but you sound like a defeated person.. You're the first son and you gotta impose yourself and stamp your authority..

Say something and mean it, meaning you should never bluff. whatever you tell them, make sure to see it to the very end be it a promise or a threat.. Don't get me wrong, this doesn't stop you from being a loving elder bro to your siblings but they should be able to clearly tell when you're serious and when you're not and you should also limit money interactions with your sister..
Have some pride and don't borrow from her even if she's the only one available... It's better you be lending to her not the other way round..

Being a man ain't easy and the first step is total independence so move out bro.. But the real big bro's out there have the special power of bringing a rebel sibling and talking to them with love and without grudge.. Just one prolonged heart to heart talk between you both could do the trick..

Goodluck bro..

thank you very much for your thoughtful words, I feel relieved now

fabianiyobosa:
Stop all this nonsense of being an elder brother, so you can owe your younger sister money for two months and not expect her to feel vexed! I don’t know why elder bro and sis always want to ride on the younger ones.

What if the table was turned, would you have allowed her owed you this long? Please stop the nonsense and let her have the money. What if she claimed she didn’t have the money when you asked? Would you have killed her? Now it is family, you are talking of calling your mother, what a sisi.

What if you borrowed same from just a friend you are older than? Would you have owed him this long or call your mother when he forces you to get the money back?

Just do what is right and forget the elder or bigger brother nonsense! Pay back her money.

I have done more than lending her money. I guess I it was she doesn't owe me anything. I have paid her.. AND I WILL NEVER BORROW MONEY FROM HER AGAIN..

Depressed101:
indeed money stops nonsense, but compassion is priceless, and I think I deserve it with someone I share the same blood with

In this instant she didn't do anything wrong. Just forgive her if you feel so offended, one thing you mustn't do is laying your hands on any of your sisters.

If na your girlfriend now, you go use laugh laugh overlook the matter.

Depressed101:
thank you very much for your thoughtful words, I feel relieved now

You welcome..

If you scold her,she might say something that would really upset you more than you already are.
Don't hit her cos it might lead to something else.
Just suck it up,and when you leave by January, you draw the boundaries. Gradually, everything will be alright.

Depressed101:
I am.. I feel pain, cos I go through alot just for them, my savings is nothing to right home about...

The earlier you move out of that house the better for you