₦airaland Forum

Well I'm not married or an expert on relationship matters, this is what I always tell people (especially ladies) any man who calls u all sort of names (prostitute especially) or even attempt to beat u during courtship, my dear there is no such thing that he will change when we are married. Run for ur life, there will always be men who will love u for who u are.

Run for your life.


A Psycho is in love with you.

TonyeBarcanista:
If the man talks his own now the whole story would change.

I'm telling you...

I think I saw someone countering her and it seems he is familiar with the man in question and the lady (op)...

I wish that person can get the man to give his own side of the story make everything burst

The signs you are now should tell you what to expect when he eventually marries you, you just have cut ties with him and move on with life.

You are an idiot for even thinking of leaving him. You want to die before your time bah. Ok. Continue and be listening to friends and family that will only end up wearing aso ebi to mourn you,splash rip on their Facebook and Instagram pages for like a week,and they move on and you are forgotten. You better run and leave that demented bull. Infact change your number and address.

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

I don't what is wrong with all of you these days.... you think love is enough to keep a relationship... You keep going back to him because you're dumb fvck.... what's your problem, if this psycho of a man kills you one day your spirit eyes go clear ...

My Friend get out of my front

Op your type is what Fela calls suffer head You like suffer Well well, My own wish is that you'll not take the good advise to dump the guy, because most of you don't listen to advise.

dannyla:
Hmmmm, all the contributions are soo true but I fear he may become violent and go extreme. I've heard crazy things from him before.

So? Because you fear he may go extreme, so you will settle with him so he wont go extreme? Sister, you can proceed to live the rest of your life with him; we still have enough data to console you when the going gets more extreme.

What you said are quite worrisome.

But its a process that helps build a strong relationship. Calm him down and do your magic, he'll succumb. Don't walk away from a someone who loves you. If he still insists on knocking you, the ball is in your court

My dear quit that relationship immediately the guy has turn to Anthony Joshua

This part made me laugh

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks.


Please run my sister.

bukatyne:
What is your definition of love?

The question is do you love yourself?

If that girl nah my sister I for give am better slap for face make her body calm.... These children always think love is enough to keep two people together , that's why they keep taking thrash

my dear, better quit now before its too late.

trust me, he will certainly beat you out of anger when married

dannyla:
I pray for wisdom because when you're in a predicament, you find it hard to think well so I appreciate everyone who helped/is helping me think. Thanks for the contributions and advices, both the kind and angry sounding ones. I appreciate the time and effort.

I'll find a way to quietly walk away from him.

Yes o, leave him immediately, never stop your business for any man, never never in your life.
Just stop picking up his calls, don't call him, and stay at home if you find yourself itching for him.
Go online and browse, how to get over someone, you'll find so many resources.
Stay away from Grace, she is the kind of friend who will sleep with your husband.
You are better off alone than hanging around bad people.
Start saving up for your own car so that you won't be wowed because of 650,000 naira car.
That man is not special, I repeat, he is not special.

my dear, better quit now before its too late.

trust me, he will certainly beat you out of anger when married

spiralwedge:
You are stupid.
How can you continue to live your life with such a man? You are not even married yet. If you marry him, it would be worse. For always giving in to pressure from everyone, im sorry, you're not ready for relationship, talkless of marriage. Gerrraahie

if u talk dis gal away frm marryin dis man hope u wil marry her? Cos men are rare. Rememba it took hr ages to get dis 1. Only mared men always com hr way

BabaIbo:
I'm telling you...

I think I saw someone countering her and it seems he is familiar with the man in question and the lady (op)...

I wish that person can get the man to give his own side of the story make everything burst

Whixh page pls

Based on what you have said,its obvious that you and your insecure partner lack emotional maturity for a relationship or marriage!
My advise for you OP is to leave the relationship and work on yourself esp your weakness!
Do not be in a rush to get married...Its better to stay single than marry the wrong person!

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

he is an emotional and verbal abuser. run for your life.like you said, your path are different. that is number one sign

okirewaju:
If I were you, I'll take off the current footwear I'm putting on and flee


A man that has verbal diarrhea is a turn off plus a woman beater and still insecure


They will keep edging you until you fall into that pit. There is a difference between Wedding Ceremony and the Marriage itself.

You deserve so much better. Don't settle for less

Would your name be that GRACE..... by any fat chance?

just wondering how you and her evil friend called Grace, seem to share the same mentality?

and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money".

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

ONE WORD: RUN!!!
For your peace of mind, now and in future, RUN!
For your sanity, RUN!
For your self-esteem, self worth, self-respect, RUN!
For your unborn children, RUN!
Forget about what people say, RUN!

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

Madam a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.. Be wise..

You are silly to say someone that abuses you psychologically and physically loves you+ very silly!
You will be the most stupid, foolish, mumu idiot in the world if you go ahead with him. Are you ok at all? Is dis a joke or something.. the pple asking you to go ahead are devils agents and they hate you!!!
A guy dat is not married to u already dashing u knocks and slaps like a wedding confetti..
U shldnt even come out here to ask if u shld marry him.

Women! The stories they tell will always be in their favour. There must be a reason you are finding it hard to call it quit. Think about that reason deeply...

There is also something terrible about you that you need to change. If he is not comfortable with your closeness with some men, then cut them off! if you can't, it means there is more to those dirty relationships you are keeping with them.

Telling him everything about you is a good thing but it has consequences. Some of the consequences are what you are seeing now. When you tell a real man everything about you (esp. before the start of the relationship), he will be ready to accept you for who you are, regardless of the mistakes you made in the story narrated...He will become so protective that he wouldn't want to give room for such things to happen in your life again..if you are now behaving like you don't see those mistakes as any biggie, then he will call you names and the respect/love he has for you will begin to diminish till it dies...

If you are sure he loves you, madam, change your ways.

if you let the professional hypocrites on nairaland misguide you, the time you will be biting your fingers, they will be on another thread doing what they know how to do best.

Most of them(males) are worse than the man you have come here to condemn..As for the females, most of them experience much worse than what you have experienced and they are still stuck with their men...and of course, we all know many others(female) are still enjoying the "sweetness" of womanhood (single)

Madam dannyla, be wise. Decide for yourself. don't you ever base your decision on the comments of nairalanders.

dannyla:
Hmmmm,
My mom was deflowered by a rapist and all she ever asked of me was to get married as a virgin. Till today, she doesn't know that I was raped too. She once told me she will die a sad woman if I don't keep her request. My father died when I was a girl. My mother sold her clothes to raise us.
If I leave, he'll tell her I'm not a virgin anymore and she will never have that peace she has now. I can't watch my mum suffer for something she didn't do. My mum once used to be hypertensive. What if it comes back due to shock? My aunt used to mock my mom over the rape before our very eyes and my mum simply told her that one wasn't her fault but her children will marry honourably. My mother's pride is the reason I let the rapist walk free. This man knows and will tell everyone.

I'm not yet strong enough to relocate us very far away or foot any drastic bill. That's a major reason I've been tolerating. The advise from those around me doesn't help either. That's why I seek public opinion

. Babe as regards this part just develop a thick skin and it seems you worry too much bout the world and what people will say so I say fvck your shameless aunt fvck your immature and infantile fiancé and fvck the world stop caring too much bout people’s words and opinions if he should stoop as low as running his mouth to your mom as regards the rape situation then it’s gonna be his word against yours and I believe his personality and character would make it difficult for her to believe him over you unless you gave him pictorial or video evidence that he can use to corroborate his story and use against you then it’s just gonna be a rumor he is peddling around even if he is so stupid to spread such and next time don’t ever share your deepest secrets with anyone humans aren’t to be trusted it’s that mistake that brought you to this stage now babe....just try and leave him quietly and there’s a way you can do that which is turn him off that way he won’t have so much bitterness towards you he would stop feeling you and move on on his own instead of you initiating a break up....I believe you understand what I meant by turning him off...you can go dull be bland for awhile stop being attractive in anyway to him the things that attracted him to you in the first place let him stop seeing it then he would simply move on on his own....try this trick and strategy babe I’m absolutely sure he would leave you on his own without your split become dramatic bitter!keep on at your hustle and continue being independent I’m guessing he is upwardly mobile and he would be stylishly oppressing you with his money!

[s]

mimimile93:
if u talk dis gal away frm marryin dis man hope u wil marry her? Cos men are rare. Rememba it took hr ages to get dis 1. Only mared men always com hr way

[/s]
It would be a thousand times better she remained single, than to marry that MONSTER!

See ehh, poster. Run! Don't say we the sane people di nor tell you. Even that your friend Grace, watch your friendship with her... I no talk again!

Run for your life

My dear,the signs are glaring before you.If you eventually get married to this man,you will regret the marriage. He's an abuser,he will abuse you physically,mentally,verbally and emotionally.The change you are talking about is pretence.The true man will show after marriage.If I were you,I would flee from that relationship.

Run!!! The people that have been murdered by such lovers were once madly loved

The answer to your question is crystal clear to you. How can you be constantly assaulted and humiliated by an unrepentant man that has the audacity to treat you so bad whilst still seeking your hand in marriage, and you're still asking if you should continue with him?

Just ask yourself and imagine what he will do to you after marrying you and he presumes he owns you.
Flee from a potential life of misery and assault that could endanger your life.

You've been warned enough.