TonyeBarcanista:

How did you conclude that the wife ks wicked? Let us watch what we say towards people's spouses.

I am very sure that the wife acted the way did because of the discomfort she feels with a second "woman" enjoying the attention and niceties of her husband.

Honestly, I can NEVER fault her! I have seen first hand where lovely and nice househelp got pregnant for oga and he was asked to marry her as second wife - which he did!

Bia nwoke m,

Here's the truth

That thing you call your brain is actually nothing but akamu.

You want to sound enlightened so that some negative minded females on this forum will notice you abi?

Well sha, who knows, maybe your type has eyes for 15 years old lads which explains why you think every other man out there is just like you.

Nonsense.

TonyeBarcanista:

Bros, honestly, you are crying over nothing.

Guy, na you find trouble! Even me sef de suspect say your eye de chook for the babe as you don de reason her as second mother.

BTW we have seen relative househelp "chanced" madam in their homes or get pregnant for the oga for house.

Guy, apologise to your wife, and ask her to send the girl to her people.

At bolded is not a fair comment, mind you his daughter is 9 and the househelp is 15 meaning that she is of the same generation with his daughter.
Moreover, if he can cater for the retinue of people in his house, he can afford a girlfriend or N1000 for short time in ashewo joint if he wants to descend that low.
I have a similar situation in my house, my 9 year old daughter and the 14 year old house help quarrel and argue daily like kids which I settle from time to time as normal for kids growing up especially female Children.
Invariably it means he will have a a senior daughter and younger daughter relationship with both of them, this doesnt go down well with my own wife too. Its jealosy, callous and stupidity on the part of the wife who wants to create a demarcation between how her daughter is presented and the househelp.

for me,I don't like what your wife do,she is jealous for nothing I like women that dress children whether house help or not.

cooooooks:
That's not a househelp per se, that's a contract, you pay the person primarily with money and not with education, shelter, different growth environment as is done with househelps. I actually prefer this method although it's difficult to do this with young kids.

I also know 3 women now who grew up as househelps, in good homes, and say they would never have gotten the exposure (trips abroad, going to good schools) if not for this experience. 2 of those 3 women are abroad now.

Only three out of millions, look I am a woman, using minors as househelp is very bad. Most women are wicked when it comes to other people children, we are discussing this because this man cares to know. How many men even look out for their househelp especially those from wife side?

I don't know what marriage is turning into these days where men must come online before knowing the right thing to do. I believe watching too much telemundo or Western films has formatted some brains into zombies. A woman that you married, cater to and is completely loyal to has the gut to accuse you of such disgusting act. Solution is simple, send the girl away, pay her off and insist no more househelp till her brain reformats back to the right settings. No human being can force you to hire any househelp, you did so because you love your wife and you want her less stressed but she has grown wings and developed a messiah complex. She has shown you her true colors, it's up to you to decide whether you like what you see or not!

theButterfly:
1. The girl is 15. "GIRL", not woman.
2. At 15, she's a child.
3. She's a relative of the wife's.

Idk what sort of useless discomfort the wife could possibly feel over buying the clothes for the girl who also happens to be a child and her own relative. I doubt OP is having any affair w/ her b/c this sounds like an innocent, non-threatening situation and it's not everybody that sleeps with their househelp. She should be the one to apologize to her husband for her dumb accusation and she should grow up b/c someone might end up maltreating her own kids the way she's doing with the girl. It's called karma.

Thank you for responding to TonyeBacanista...

Unique357:
In brief, I am a male married with 2 children, my daughter is 8 and son is 5. I also have my niece 11 and a house help 15 staying with us.

On Monday I gave my wife Christmas shopping money to get foodstuffs, hers and children clothing including our house help.

Yesterday my wife went shopping, she bought clothes for herself, our children and nothing for the house help. She claimed that the girl doesn’t need any clothes for Christmas as long we feed and send her to school, the rest is her parents' duties. The girl in question is my wife's relative from the same village. This girl is so nice to our children, she is like a second mother to them despite her being just 15, I have never had any problem with her.

I was mad at her that I told her, if she cannot treat another woman's child well then she doesn’t deserve to be a mother, yes I did said some harsh words to her because of anger. She accused me of sleeping with the little girl which I told her she is mad and she couldn’t stop crying the whole night. This morning she didn’t make my breakfast and refused greeting me back.

Please house let me know if I overreacted

My noble friend, you must be one of rare virtuous man who stood on justice.

Your lovely wife wants to blackmail you with her tears....after firstly pouring a heavy disrespectful accusation on you for having a thing with the poor girl. Please, man up a lot, never allow 'Egyptians Slavery' repeated in your territory. Take full charge and talk to your wife to understanding: "if she is not comfortable to accept the the poor girl as hers let her send her back to her family."

Your mind can never put up with such high disregard for the poor girl. You will accept equal treatment or nothing....
Who knows tomorrow?

4 years ago in my neighborhood, same happened to house help. The woman died during child birth leaving 3 children behind. The end of it, the house help secure a good husband after 2 years of her madam demise. The 3 children left behind, joined the 19 yr old girl for their father breakdown, who is given them all their basic needs.

The clock hand turns around in fast pace....

It's emotional blackmail. She knows she messed up completely and know she wants you to apologize.

God bless you sir for caring for that little girl under your roof

RisenPhoenix:


He should go and buy fine clothes for the girl, and present them to her. If his wife complains, he should just show her the nearest river to jump in. The feelings of selfish people should never be respected.

You are obviously not married.

FloraEC:
The heading tho
Your handle is new too, hope you're not trolling.


What she did was wrong, training a child doesn't end in feeding and education.
Was she in support of the help coming? Does she have any problem with the girl's family since they're related?
Try and buy the clothes for the girl yourself, hope she won't burn them.



Fortunately, she's already a mother to your children. For peace sake, try and take the girl back to her parents. If possible train her, buy her everything but let her be in her parents house to prevent woman beats up her help and accuses her of sleeping with her hubby

But what do I know self

Your reply is apt, sensible and matured.

So wetin concern Nairaland for d matter?

Op don put innocent girl for trouble...I beg u in the name of God send that girl back to her parents if you truly mean well for her like u pointed out because as long as she lives with ur wife under the same roof her life will be a living hell..by so doing u are helping the girl and at the same time giving ur evil wife the punishment she honestly deserves...op, Abeg Abeg And Abeg send that girl back home

You acted very right. I support you 100%. Your wife is wicked.

Graxie:
Why are you engaging a minor as househelp? Why. Both you and your wife, you are horrible.

you are not right in the head

SEGLIZ:

..........op fine make amend with you wife but please don't listen to that part that says you should return the girl.
tonyebarcanista...................you are here insulting another man's integrity, this reasoning shallow o.

Seriously I didn't believe a grown up man could say such a thing.

You did nothing wrong bro.
And for the fact that she said "you sleeping with the little girl" means it's time to return the girl back to her parent.
Avoid woman wahala.

This is just a confirmed generation of wicked and absurd women, we are now men but when we grew up we lived peacefully with house helps, even mothers those days used their own money for upkeep of the house help without even asking their husbands my mum was such example, no wonder people nowadays refuse to give out their kids for house help, God is just punishing men with this calamity generation of women, what have we done,men are dying out fast..

SEGLIZ:

..........op fine make amend with you wife but please don't listen to that part that says you should return the girl.
tonyebarcanista...................you are here insulting another man's integrity, this reasoning shallow o.

I think say na only me see am o, the thing no make sense at all, you don't have to insult others integrity.

TonyeBarcanista:

Why put the girl at risk? Buying Christmas clothes for the girl will make wify hate her and it will mark beginning of trouble in the house and for the girl.

I don't even believe a man I thought to have so much sense can utter this wicked statement ... Why are you people so wicked ... Do you know what the little girl make become tomorrow .. The wife is a wicked woman Period

People wey dey bring family matter come nairaland una dey try o.

Unique357:
Thank you for your inputs , I have no bad intentions towards that small girl , she is like my daughter I want her to be treated the same as every child in my house. I only gave my wife 2k to spend on the girl , a OK jeans and shirt and what’s 2k really ? , she bought 4 dresses for only our daughter , one for Christmas , new year , first Sunday of the year and for her 9th birthday coming on January 20th , and a pair of shoes , honestly she doesn’t need all those clothes , her wardrobes is full with beautiful dresses that she can rewear instead she should have buy something for the help and save the rest of the money. On Xmas all the children in my house will be looking good with their brand new clothes except her , do you expect me to clap for her ? I will not be happy seeing her looking like a trash . Someone who sacrifice her childhood for my children , she does takes good care of them 24 /7 i, I have hidden cameras in my house, I check it every single night to see if she does maltreat them behind our back , what I saw amaze me, she always treat them nice with so much patience. If my children have so much love for her and why can’t I and my wife treat her so well? Well for those that suggested to return her back to her parents , well I will speak with my mother in law because she brought the girl for us , so it will be better to hear her opinions. Thanks once again

You are an awesome man with a kind and good heart, too bad your wife is an evil selfish bitch..and you should be very worried because of her future tendencies...to even think the girl in question is your wife relative is really sad..Women can be very wicked..I don't know why I strongly feel your wife is an igbo woman? I hope I am wrong but if I am right.... i would not be surprised.. they have a way with domestic wickedness as seen from many stories out there

Na wa oo

TonyeBarcanista:

Bros, honestly, you are crying over nothing.

Your wife is a woman and you should understand her own position. She doesn't want her relative help to enjoy same privilege as her and her children before things get out of hand. Also, she isn't comfortable with the affection you are showing the girl. You were even wrong to quarrel her and say nasty things to her. Your good intention was spoilt by your action.

Guy, na you find trouble! Even me sef de suspect say your eye de chook for the babe as you don de reason her as second mother.

BTW we have seen relative househelp "chanced" madam in their homes or get pregnant for the oga for house.

Guy, apologise to your wife, and ask her to send the girl to her people.

You sound like a complete fool. Your sense end for politics. Everybody don't erection over teens. Check yourself

Some people can be so selfish ehh, why buy cloth for your children and refuse to buy for your house help.

@OP, if your know within your heart that you are sleeping with the girl, go and apologies to your wife and let her return the girl.

And if your know that within your heart you are not sleeping with the girl, don't apologies to your wife, let her be the one to apologies and after that tell her to send the girl home.

The girl should not continue to stay with you after your wife has accuse you of having an affair with her, your wife will always continue to believe that something is going on between both of you.

You reacted by saying some harsh words.
One sentence that usually hurt people deeply and which is not an abuse is, "I am disappointed in you."
That thing dey pain ehn

All you to do now is apologize to her and hug her. Make her happy. Don't call her wicked.
Buy more gifts for her and buy for the girl too.

Unique357:
In brief, I am a male married with 2 children, my daughter is 8 and son is 5. I also have my niece 11 and a house help 15 staying with us.

On Monday I gave my wife Christmas shopping money to get foodstuffs, hers and children clothing including our house help.

Yesterday my wife went shopping, she bought clothes for herself, our children and nothing for the house help. She claimed that the girl doesn’t need any clothes for Christmas as long we feed and send her to school, the rest is her parents' duties. The girl in question is my wife's relative from the same village. This girl is so nice to our children, she is like a second mother to them despite her being just 15, I have never had any problem with her.

I was mad at her that I told her, if she cannot treat another woman's child well then she doesn’t deserve to be a mother, yes I did said some harsh words to her because of anger. She accused me of sleeping with the little girl which I told her she is mad and she couldn’t stop crying the whole night. This morning she didn’t make my breakfast and refused greeting me back.

Please house let me know if I overreacted

op you dey stay for woji?

Xisnin:

You are obviously not married.

I am. But I don't take any faecal matter from anyone; least of all my wife. What I advised is precisely what I would have done; assuming that my wife grew wings and actually accused me of sleeping with the househelp. She knows that replacement wives plenty full Nigeria; as well as outside it. Women are a homogenous lot once you put out the lights; and the last time I've been in love is when I was 15. So no one can pretend to tie me down.

I trust my wife sha, she would never do such a thing. We husbands just have to train them well from day one.

I couldn't agree more that the devil is indeed a woman

Send the girl back to her parents. Your wife is not crippled. She can do the chores.

TonyeBarcanista:

Bros, honestly, you are crying over nothing.

Your wife is a woman and you should understand her own position. She doesn't want her relative help to enjoy same privilege as her and her children before things get out of hand. Also, she isn't comfortable with the affection you are showing the girl. You were even wrong to quarrel her and say nasty things to her. Your good intention was spoilt by your action.

Guy, na you find trouble! Even me sef de suspect say your eye de chook for the babe as you don de reason her as second mother.

BTW we have seen relative househelp "chanced" madam in their homes or get pregnant for the oga for house.

Guy, apologise to your wife, and ask her to send the girl to her people.

Supported

Unique357:
In brief, I am a male married with 2 children, my daughter is 8 and son is 5. I also have my niece 11 and a house help 15 staying with us.

On Monday I gave my wife Christmas shopping money to get foodstuffs, hers and children clothing including our house help.

Yesterday my wife went shopping, she bought clothes for herself, our children and nothing for the house help. She claimed that the girl doesn’t need any clothes for Christmas as long we feed and send her to school, the rest is her parents' duties. The girl in question is my wife's relative from the same village. This girl is so nice to our children, she is like a second mother to them despite her being just 15, I have never had any problem with her.

I was mad at her that I told her, if she cannot treat another woman's child well then she doesn’t deserve to be a mother, yes I did said some harsh words to her because of anger. She accused me of sleeping with the little girl which I told her she is mad and she couldn’t stop crying the whole night. This morning she didn’t make my breakfast and refused greeting me back.

Please house let me know if I overreacted

She can't spend more than 15K on that girl. Given how nice she is to your family I must say your wife acted like 80% of your everyday Naija women. The money came from you so I doubt if she will add up anything from her pocket.
She is either over reacting or showing you her real self.
Either ways, you need to call for a quick peace talk. Insist on getting the stuff for the house help and highlight the importance of the little girl to your family.
I wish you luck in the chat. Expect some cold treatment, more tears.......but make sure you end the proceeding by taking her the the oza room.
Whatever happens there stays in there.

Unique357:
In brief, I am a male married with 2 children, my daughter is 8 and son is 5. I also have my niece 11 and a house help 15 staying with us.

On Monday I gave my wife Christmas shopping money to get foodstuffs, hers and children clothing including our house help.

Yesterday my wife went shopping, she bought clothes for herself, our children and nothing for the house help. She claimed that the girl doesn’t need any clothes for Christmas as long we feed and send her to school, the rest is her parents' duties. The girl in question is my wife's relative from the same village. This girl is so nice to our children, she is like a second mother to them despite her being just 15, I have never had any problem with her.

I was mad at her that I told her, if she cannot treat another woman's child well then she doesn’t deserve to be a mother, yes I did said some harsh words to her because of anger. She accused me of sleeping with the little girl which I told her she is mad and she couldn’t stop crying the whole night. This morning she didn’t make my breakfast and refused greeting me back.

Please house let me know if I overreacted

u didnt do any wrong ....