Biafrareform:
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Who is even talking of paying up. I don't want him near my baby girl

sorry bro.......there is nothing u can do about it, if he goes to court, u will lose.... pls do the needy and protect ur dignity and value in front of ur nephew....

#Peace

In case of another situation like this. When an irresponsible man denies a pregnancy or child, just get a lawyer and get a binding legal document for him to sign, that he is ceding every right of fatherhood to whomever is willing to care for the child.

These brainless men think they are smart, cos they think no matter what, a child will always ask for his father. What if the girl wasnt cared for properly and she died, will he come and claim any child now or does it think its easy to raise a child?

The man isn't her father, he only donated sperm. That's all. For every action, there must be an equal reaction. Idiot boys everywhere.

Sue his ass!!!

1.Charge him to court: make he compensate for those years;
2. He want to be responsible for the child: no wahala;
Enroll the girl for covenant university.
3. My dear no follow the man fight by the time He sees responsibilities hmmmmmm
He Go Fear Fear �
Las Las na you win.

All am saying is let the two meet just be diplomatic to your favour. If you know, you know

I can't believe so many people are non challantly saying that the child belongs to the man. Yes it's his sperm that gave the child but do we know what kind of trauma the lady would have gone through during that period, the shame. Now he coming to claim a child he denied. It's can't be me sha
Such desperation. Maybe he can't have a child again he now remembers he has someone somewhere after all these years. He should bear the consequences of his wickedness.

Most of you being non challant about it, I pray your daughter or sisters won't fall a victim. Then and only then would you know how much it hurts.

Femsyn:
In case of another situation like this. When an irresponsible man denies a pregnancy or child, just get a lawyer and get a binding legal document for him to sign, that he is ceding every right of fatherhood to whomever is willing to care for the child.

These brainless men think they are smart, cos they think no matter what, a child will always ask for his father. What if the girl wasnt cared for properly and she died, will he come and claim any child now or does it think its easy to raise a child?



The man isn't her father, he only donated sperm. That's all. For every action, there must be an equal reaction. Idiot boys everywhere.

Sue his ass!!!

God bless you my brother. The same thing I told my colleagues some months ago and they were saying even at that he can still have the child anytime he seems fit. Thunder fire devil ooo.
Na to kill the guy kill myself remain.
Shey him no want pikin him must sign say him no want.

People writing trash in support of the guy should know that young adults read this things and should not be encouraged to becoming irresponsible adults.

The truth is that u cannot take d love of a child away from his father or mother, but we most undstd in other way round that d same people that denied d child wen at womb are d same people coming to claim d child now @ 16. for instance a friend of mind was once a victim of such at, he was 28 but most of time people do accuse him that he does not no his father, on one faithful day he went straight to his mother and demanded to no his real father, d mother taught it was joke not until he brought out insecticide, that moment changed everything d cry of his mother attracted neighborhood but eventually d same man that said no wen he was in womb turn round to say yes and at 28 he has finished primary, sec. sch. and even went further to server as apprentice at main market onisha, and became master of his own, so my brother u have done well by her up bringing and best u do for her is to reunite her with her real father she will ever remain greet full but that does not stop u asking d man to pay for her up bringing if u wish.

Check this out: http:///s425f247191223en_ng

I did..........It will just be nice to know the truth of the matter before crucifying the guy........ I had a similar personal experience, trust me, if you hear her side of the story, you setup fire and burn me, but if i told you what truly happened, you'll ask me to go to church and share my testimony.But she will never tell anyone the truth.

Jaqenhghar:

Its always the victim's fault. Im not sure you read the story properly sef

lozanni:


Very reasonable response.
The irresponsible guy might have been scared stiff as a young man when the pregnancy occured and so was coerced by his family into denying that he owned the pregnancy. As an adult now, he wants to take full responsibility for his past action.
Please meet and discuss with him.

My thoughts exactly... So many young men back then would have done the same. You are very right!

mrlycan:
I did..........It will just be nice to know the truth of the matter before crucifying the guy........ I had a similar personal experience, trust me, if you hear her side of the story, you setup fire and burn me, but if i told you what truly happened, you'll ask me to go to church and share my testimony.But she will never tell anyone the truth.

Okay Oooo
Remember sha we are hearing from the girl's brother. He told us what transpired and was there during the rejection. To me it can't get any clearer

fatherhood should not only be defined by blood. he is not the girls father though he got the mother pregnant illegitimately. what if the foetus was aborted how would he be claiming her now?
op stand your ground, give him no access. in the Igbo Culture if you dodged the bride price the children are not yours. he who paid the bride price is the father.

Well, if thats the case, fine.............You win..............But if not.................. And the OP is not also telling the whole truth.......... Have you thought about that also.

LoyalRccgMember:


Hunkle shut up abeg

I don’t have silly Nephews and Nieces. You don’t have what it takes to shut me up.

ericadianas:
I actually am a very similar case. When my dad came back I was about 17 and my mum actually told me the whole story and gave me the option to deciding what I wanted. It wasn't easy, it was a lot of emotional trauma but I had to forgive and accept my dad because honestly, life is too short to keep carrying over mistakes.

I honestly feel loads better by letting all the negative energy melt away.

Did you go to stay with dad after you met m?

Also, Is your last name your dad's?

ericadianas:
I actually am a very similar case. When my dad came back I was about 17 and my mum actually told me the whole story and gave me the option to deciding what I wanted. It wasn't easy, it was a lot of emotional trauma but I had to forgive and accept my dad because honestly, life is too short to keep carrying over mistakes.

I honestly feel loads better by letting all the negative energy melt away.

What transpired later on between you and your dad..

Story! He denied the child 16yrs ago, he doesn't have any rights to her.

lozanni:


Very reasonable response.
The irresponsible guy might have been scared stiff as a young man when the pregnancy occured and so was coerced by his family into denying that he owned the pregnancy. As an adult now, he wants to take full responsibility for his past action.
Please meet and discuss with him.

For 16 years abii. Una well done. Thesedays nobody wants to go to the market but everyone wants to eat. People want to assume the role of profit sharing without lifting a finger to do any work.

Stillthebest:


Unfortunately, that's how it would be. The father always owns the children either cared for or not. No Law has ever says otherwise yet.

However, it is very disgusting and irritating how some foolish men reject pregnancy they knew they were truly responsible.

If the preg is doubtful, why not say ' we go for a DNA'

If finances is the issue why not accept the pregnancy and do a lil u can do to support the lady or worst still show irresponsibility or just run away instead of an outright rejection!

I wish there is a Law that will ever ban such father from having access or reclaim such children born out of these acts!

This has destroyed many children's lives.
Well, you can't do anything about it. Just let it be. Wouldn't advise you to make the man pay all you have spent.

No law says that a man automatically becomes a father by sperm donation alone. Not in the Igbo customary law which is also upheld by the Nigerian secular law.

Boss forget all these IGBO this IGBO that.. While growing up. I watched NTA very well, ladies come after 30 years plus looking for their father, all because the mother lied about their birth. Whether bride price or not. If the girl finds out that the mum is at fault , thats the last day she set sights on her

dmz1:
fatherhood should not only be defined by blood. he is not the girls father though he got the mother pregnant illegitimately. what if the foetus was aborted how would he be claiming her now?
op stand your ground, give him no access. in the Igbo Culture if you dodged the bride price the children are not yours. he who paid the bride price is the father.

Kylekent59:
You should be very happy for her that she's gonna reunite with her father. That's the best love you can give to her.


God even forgives us our sins, then we unite with him again and he welcomes us.

Just let them have her, you need not be furious. You have done your good part by being there for her. Seal your goodness with good ending and not the other way round.



You cannot deprive her of her real father!!!


*FACT*

trashy trash. this here is why some goats pretending to be men behave anyhow. they abandon a lady they put in the family way because they say papa na papa, las las, i go go carry my pikin, rubbish. why will other men not do same if there are no consequences? what if you the lady in question had come from a poor family and had abandoned the baby, would the bastard have anybody to go back to?

Stillthebest:


Unfortunately, that's how it would be. The father always owns the children either cared for or not. No Law has ever says otherwise yet.

However, it is very disgusting and irritating how some foolish men reject pregnancy they knew they were truly responsible.

If the preg is doubtful, why not say ' we go for a DNA'

If finances is the issue why not accept the pregnancy and do a lil u can do to support the lady or worst still show irresponsibility or just run away instead of an outright rejection!

I wish there is a Law that will ever ban such father from having access or reclaim such children born out of these acts!

This has destroyed many children's lives.
Well, you can't do anything about it. Just let it be. Wouldn't advise you to make the man pay all you have spent.

The worst case scenario, he may be granted access to the child but the access can be revoked if the child feels uncomfortable about it( The mother can manipulate the child in this regard).

It is a lose for the stupid father in any case.

Do not hide the little girl from the biological father, tell her the whole truth, she will take her vengeance with abandoning her with him and his family.
If you try to hide her, it will affect her emotionally, tell her exactly what transpired, let her decide how she wants to handle him.

[s]

mrlycan:
Boss forget all these IGBO this IGBO that.. While growing up. I watched NTA very well, ladies come after 30 years plus looking for their father, all because the mother lied about their birth. Whether bride price or not. If the girl finds out that the mum is at fault , thats the last day she set sights on her

[/s]

I really hate when people abandon their responsibility only to show up years later as what. Tell your Sister to explain things to her daughter, trust me she will understand. They should allow the guy’s family access to the the girl only when they come to see your family and apologize for what they did 16years ago. Even after that the custody of the girl should remain with your family and she can go visit her deadbeat Dad’s family sometimes.

Gforce2015:
The guy is a scam. To be honest with you, this is the new style some lazy dude use. They will abscond after birth and resurface when the child is doing fine. It's true that you can deny his fatherhood but he will pay every dine the family has spent on the child or else....go to court asap before he turn it to violent. The law support woman in marriage more than man. So you are going to reclaim your money or he spend the rest of his life in jail by abandoning his child during venerable period..
Get a good lawyer . The guy is wicked. Don't allow him to run you into cheap pity.

instead of thinking of money, think of the CHILD 1st and foremost.

HallaDaTruth:
Do not let the absentee father have any access to the child. He is useless

so because a person is useless, you should lie to a child about who her father is? why dont you just tell this child:"this is your useless biological father who abandoned you at birth." et voila!

its funny how all of you people claim to be holier than thou people, yet do no follow what your holybooks brainwashes you to do. your Bibles/Qur'ans tell you to forgive and forget, but here you are as bitter individuals. lol!

mrlycan:
Boss forget all these IGBO this IGBO that.. While growing up. I watched NTA very well, ladies come after 30 years plus looking for their father, all because the mother lied about their birth. Whether bride price or not. If the girl finds out that the mum is at fault , thats the last day she set sights on her

any boy can impregnate a woman but not every man that can father a child. fatherhood is earned. you pour sperm inside woman toto no mean anything. you have to do the right thing to be called a father, legally or traditionally speaking.

Thats some piece you just said.. Weldone...True talk

Enice:
any boy can impregnate a woman but not every man that can father a child. fatherhood is earned. you pour sperm inside woman toto no mean anything. you have to do the right thing to be called a father, legally or traditionally speaking.

God bless you for this comment....... You spoke the mind of someone who have two brains, the natural and the supernatural. Thumbs up

Obason22:
The truth is that u cannot take d love of a child away from his father or mother, but we most undstd in other way round that d same people that denied d child wen at womb are d same people coming to claim d child now @ 16. for instance a friend of mind was once a victim of such at, he was 28 but most of time people do accuse him that he does not no his father, on one faithful day he went straight to his mother and demanded to no his real father, d mother taught it was joke not until he brought out insecticide, that moment changed everything d cry of his mother attracted neighborhood but eventually d same man that said no wen he was in womb turn round to say yes and at 28 he has finished primary, sec. sch. and even went further to server as apprentice at main market onisha, and became master of his own, so my brother u have done well by her up bringing and best u do for her is to reunite her with her real father she will ever remain greet full but that does not stop u asking d man to pay for her up bringing if u wish.

in igbo culture the father of op albeit the father of his sister is the owner of the teenage girl because the biological father did not pay bride price, neither did he fulfill any traditional requirements. his getting the girl should be a special arrangement.

This is complicated

victorian:









Op, the time has come for you to tell your baby girl, the truth about her father.
Let her know she was rejected from birth and u accepted her and took care of her like your own. Let her mother too be present when both you and your sister is opening up to her .
And let her know, the father now wants to claim her and come back to her life.

If the communication line between u and your baby girl is good.

Talk to her like your daughter, let her remember those lovely moments both of u shared while growing up. Let her know, she can vouch for your love for her and to keep training and taking care of her till she marries but she cant vouch for a man, a stranger coming up from nowhere claiming he's her father.

And she can forgive him. But she can also choose whether to keep living with you, whom she knows inside out than to live with a stranger who wants nothing to do with her in the first place.
So she has the right to choose whom to be with. And if she wants to see her dad? Her dad can come visit her in your home. So she has to choose but she should remember the devil she knows, is better than angel showing up all of a sudden.

There are fathers fucvking their own daughters, And Mehn I don't trust the motive of the father towards the girl. He may want her as a sex slave. He doesn't have any fatherly connection towards her. So why want her at this level. I don't trust him one bit.
Only she can decide to stay with you or leave with him. But if uv been good to her, she will choose you.

Op try to open up to the girl, and let her know some twisted fathers do rape their daughters. And no one knows motive of this dad.

OP see better advise.
at least the girl is old enough to comprehend things and differentiate between right and wrong.

so he waited for 1,2,3 .. up to 16 to come and claim right?
what if your sister had aborted the baby?

that man must have a motive for doing these.
besides how did he know the girl was the pregnancy he rejected, if not that, he has been watching the progress of the girl since childbirth.



this your story sounds like the movie, GIFTED.