money is power in all relationships, whether marriage, business, or otherwise. the one with the money always dictates the direction. and again, no woman is comfortable feeding a man, its not a matter of being wicked, they are not just wired that way.

women hate to feed men, this is because it gives them certain amount of power which a loving woman is not comfortable with. this is why a woman may angrily insult her broke husband out of frustration but will still go behind close doors and cry. she cries because she wish she would rather have her husband do those things for her

but my concern is the disrespect for you. were you not nice to her when u had money? had she given you huge amount to restart and you squandered it unwisely. bros just check within.

women who knows their husbands are smart and hard working but faced with a temporary financial setback are normally careful with the way they treat them as regard money; this is because they know the man can bounce back and there can be consequences.

You will recover before June, 2020.

maak400:

Sorry about your predicament sir, I can only imagine what you’re going through. That’s the nature of women who suddenly become richer than their husband, similar cases like yours abound everywhere. God did not create women to be the provider of the house, so anytime circumstances happen to make a woman the provider, they simply become proud and treat the husband like shit. Just keep praying and hoping that your business bounces back. Also, ensure that you still put your foot down as the head of your home no matter what attitude your wife is displaying.

This is a very reasonable comment.. Mhen, here is a great thinker and an intelligent realist with cross experience. Respect!

Melian:


Loyalty is a thing most people struggle with, both men and women. Notwithstanding, your wife shouldn't treat you like this. Is there a way you can move out of the house for the time being, that is if you have enough to cater for yourself? I think this move will bring her back to her senses or at least you'll get your self respect back.

God bless you.

If you're a feminist, you're a balanced one.

There's an ugly thing here that has been running around giving trash advice and talking down on any that corrects her

Preshy561:

This is so sad.
I understand your plight. If there's how you can search for a greener pasture by moving away from her for the main time, please do.
She might think you aren't doing good enough by seeing you home everytime.

Sorry about the situation.

You don't want to be a caustic feminist anymore?

RisenPhoenix:


Then you should have let her go not given in to her whims. You are the captain who sets the course for the household. If she cannot stay with you through thick and thin, she should find her own direction in life without you.

As for the land, she has a right to do what she wants with her own money.

It's not too late. Get a divorce, she's now a liability on your back. No man can function after he has been emasculated. Hustle hard, marry a more supportive wife, and try to keep in touch with your kids as much as possible.

The last thing you want to be in when you are in economic downturn is a toxic relationship that drags you further down; mentally and emotionally.

Good luck.

deep!

strungup79:
I'm 42 years old and married with 3 children (2 boys and a girl). I got married to this beatiful lady 13 years ago and everything was bliss until three years ago when my business experienced a serious down turn.

My wife on the other hand witnessed an upturn in fortunes and practically became the bread winner in the home.

Her good financial fortune had me focussed on trying to get myself back on track. I tried getting a job, but it was not forth coming.

My business continued to dwindle and then I resorted to doing small odd jobs just so I could contribute to the family upkeep.

My wife's upturn in fortune however brought out the ugliness in her. She started trying to assume control of the home. She stopped consulting me on decisions concerning our home, rather consulting her parents. She practically turned my kids against me as she painted me as irresponsible.

We initially had assess to each other's account, but now she has accounts hidden from me. I just found out she bought land somewhere, though she doesn't know I have that knowledge.

She has become rude and disrespectful and her parents and siblings have taken over my home. I am so pained because all I ever did was show her love and respect.

She didn't like the fact i tried to have order in my home and that seems to be my sin. I have never hit her or been wicked to her.

Right now, I'm pained and confused. I don't know what to do. Someone please help.

no woman can try that with me! Walai she go chop beating on top her money! If she say she mad I go tell her say me sef be baba craze, to hell with her and her money, I won't divorce her but if she fumble I go show her the devil that makes me a Nephilim.

LordKO:
If you're a Mech. Engr. with at least 2 years previous work experience in the petroleum industry, send me a PM immediately.

As for your wife and her recent attitude, it's obvious that you've been living with a frenemy all this while. Only few men are lucky, and can be lucky, to marry virtuous/submissive women. Since she's of the small-minded stock, you've to master the art of treating small-minded people and mete out same to her - if you aren't small-minded like her too.

It’s seems you can’t make a post without the word “small-minded”.
Hopefully you’ll change this year.

cindybaby22:

This is a very careless & inconsiderate comment
Let us learn to be kind humans & considerate
Mishap can happen to anyone

Sis, please no need talking to her

She prolly does or will do same to the husband at home.

BRATISLAVA:


Is this your ego speaking or you know you actually have no such power?

Are you a learner?

otipoju:


Are you a learner?

Ego. Baseless sky scraping ego.

strungup79:


You are just like my wife. If marriage is about control, why marry? Why not stay on your own? Making money is not about hustling, if it was i'd be earning over three times what my wife earns. Luck, favour also plays a role. Maybe God just wants to show me who I married.

@bolded, huh?

Didn't this God, the omniscient, all-knowing God, already knew the kind of person your wife is before you both married? Didn't you both seek God's face and blessings before tying the knots and agreed to become husband and wife?


I'm not understanding.

Ardar:
I hope you're helping her with the house chores if there is no help? Who knows if the burden of both catering for the needs of the family and also cooking and cleaning is one of the issues here.

This is the crux of the entire matter.

Depressed101:
you really think you are smart.. But i can tell sense is far from you... What you spewed is meaningless even though there is an iota of truth in it, the way you put it makes me question your sanity.. Why are you angry with the whole male folks... Op is not the ex that treated you badly... If you need to waste your precious time to advice someone, make it worthwhile and stop raising unnecessary dusts it doesn't make you wiser

I get that I have an unconventional way of passing my message across, but take that iota of truth and work on it.

I am angry at male folk because they continue to fall below my expectations the more I get to know them, either platonically or romantically.

I miss the men of our fathers' generations who did exploits. I grew up seeing that but today, men behave like naira Marley, Bob risky and Davido and it's sickening to see.

No ex of mine has treated me badly. I usually dump them when they fail to rise up to standard even with my help.

A man can keep a woman without job as wife for years but the reverse can't last beyond 3 months.

midnighter:


This is the crux of the entire matter.

Thank you

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

The bitter truth OP and most of the men on this thread don’t want to accept.

BRATISLAVA:

He's probably having this problem because money is there only thing he contributed to the marriage.

It's like when men say women only brought sex to the relationship.

When it's no more there, what next?

This is a jab at men, probably well deserved but then again it'll be unfair to make a sweeping generalisation as not all men are same.

Danhumprey:
@bolded, huh?

Didn't this God, the omniscient, all-knowing God, already knew the kind of person your wife is before you both married? Didn't you both seek God's face and blessings before tying the knots and agreed to become husband and wife?


I'm not understanding.

I tire o

BRATISLAVA:


Ego.

Okay. You win. Are you satisfied?

LINTUNE:
u mean he should do domestic chores like washing plates and washing his wife pants ...anyways at least u are more human than ur friend.. ..

This is why broke horsebands are useless. A jobless wife would try run the home. Nigerian JOBLESS horseband? No way. He will just sit there and be expecting maximum respect for having a prick. What exactly is OP currently contributing? Nothing. Any small thing, they will say emasculating. Oya, go out and make money na

Sunnyobums:

Wise words baby girl, happy new year.

Happy new year to you too.

Khalidase83:
A man can keep a woman without job as wife for years but the reverse can't last beyond 3 months.

Because the man still except the woman to cook,clean and do all the rest despite the woman bringing in all the money needed!

funmisticqueen:
Good point, but if you look through that entire post I merely pointed out that her husband drove her into the hands of another man by his actions. He hit her self esteem and she got attention and validation outside. I never said her not cheating is wrong but merely empathized with her because I saw her perspective when no one else did. If a man did the same thing every one will blame the wife.

I merely told op to prove himself to be a leader and a contributor to his marriage and stop wallowing in self pity, but all men chose to see my comments as insults. Contribution is not only financial. We live in a patriarchy. Men already have so much going for them. To whom much is given, much is expected. But these millennial men are disappointing.

Why should I be fair in an unfair world. I am simply speaking the odds in my favor. If that makes me less objective and a villian or maleficent then so be it.

that is why I said it is your choice to be a villian/maleficent.
Very true there is a prevalent patriarchy and the fight is to change it to a system where everyone is happy and not cheated in anyway and not to a gynocentric society. Its like moving from an opposite end to another opposite end
It is also your choice to make bitter hateful comments . you will live with the repercussions of your words and I will live with the repercussions of my words. So be it for you to speak in your odds,so why don't you let ubunja speak in his odds without trolling him as you always do?
Let everyone speak in their odds and let's see who wins the gender war...time will indeed tell.

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

this must surely come from a woman.

craves:
money is power in all relationships, whether marriage, business, or otherwise. the one with the money always dictates the direction. and again, no woman is comfortable feeding a man, they are not wired that way.

women hate to feed men, but my concern is the disrespect for you. were you not nice to her when u had money? had she given you huge amount to restart and you squandered it unwisely. bros just check within.

women who knows their husbands are smart and hard working but faced with a temporary financial setback are normally careful with the way they treat them as regard money; this is because they know the man can bounce back and there can be consequences.

God bless you

I don't expect a jobless man to make such demands.

Plead:


Because the man still except the woman to cook,clean and do all the rest despite the woman bringing in all the money needed!

Melian:


This is a jab to men, probably well deserved but then again it'll be unfair to make a sweeping generalisation as not all men are same.

It's not a sweeping generalization. But most of the men on nairaland say women only contribute sex. That means that it's possible they only contribute money, and when there's no more money, they have no character. Resulting in "emasculation". The man may just be sensitive because he knows his source of power is gone. And he's been acting strangely towards the woman since he imagines her doing something to the children bringing about some of her actions. She can probably sense his mind towards her

Nephilim:
no woman can try that with me! Walai she go chop beating on top her money! If she say she mad I go tell her say me sef be baba craze, to hell with her and her money, I won't divorce her but if she fumble I go show her the devil that makes me a Nephilim.

Chop beating on top her money

Michellekabod2:
happy new year! Don't get me wrong ,was not judging you for your stance of not choosing to neutral,that's your choice,I respect that. I personally am an egalitarian, putting humanity first before gender,race ,tribe or belief. I only told martinez39 you are pro-woman because he mentioned you ,I told him not to be so expectant on you to give the sort of counsel he may have expected
You don't have to not get along with ladies,because ladies are amazing people. I said what I sad because I follow you and you make misandrists posts and your judgement most times are influenced by gender. I think you supported a lady that cheated on her husband by sleeping with her gym instructor when just days before the thread you said made a comment of there being no excuse for a cheating man(correct me if I am wrong on this)....or today when you made fun of a sperm donor penis,and many others. I don't see a any difference between you and ubunja.
But its a matter of choice

I don't force people to take an egalitarian stance,its fine to be a pro-man /pro-woman ,I just tell advice seekers to be wary of gender based advice that blind people from truth,it obstructs undiluted counsel.

You also forgot that funmisticqueen once opened a thread advising women to cut of the d!ck of their cheating husbands, poison them slowly, or go diabolical. She is really a horrible person. Don't be fooled by her posts that give excuses or explain away her toxicity and SHE IS PRO-WOMAN EVEN IN MISANDRIC PROPORTIONS. To further buttress my point on the victim mentality and solipsism of modern women, here is an excerpt from her reply to you :

merely told op to prove himself to be a leader and a contributor to his marriage and stop wallowing in self pity, but all men chose to see my comments as insults. Contribution is not only financial. We live in a patriarchy. Men already have so much going for them. To whom much is given, much is expected. But these millennial men are disappointing.

What patriarchy? The same old feminist bullcrap used to justify their victim mentality. They erroneously purport that men have more privileges, men own the world, and things are somehow structured to make things more difficult for women. This same victim mentality peculiar to contemporary feminists is a global phenomenon. In the US where women are pampered and given free privileges, they still complain of the nonexistent patriarchy, nonexistent rape culture, and nonexistent female oppression.

Funmisticqueen knows that women and men have equal rights and opportunities and that comes with equal responsibilities but she is having none of that. Any argument that absolves a woman of responsibility, place the man as a provider, and doesn't support a woman making financial sacrifices for her husband will do for her even if the argument is invalid. The woman must always receive and millennial men are disappointing because they don't want to be women's ATM machines. Patriarchy my ass that funmisticqueen has equal rights and opportunities and she is a doctor.

"We live in a patriarchy. Men already have so much going for them." Trash!

funmisticqueen:
I get that I have an unconventional way of passing my message across, but take that iota of truth and work on it.

I am angry at male folk because they continue to fall below my expectations the more I get to know them, either platonically or romantically.

I miss the men of our fathers' generations who did exploits. I grew up seeing that but today, men behave like naira Marley, Bob risky and Davido and it's sickening to see.

No ex of mine has treated me badly. I usually dump them when they fail to rise up to standard even with my help.

buena suerte

Michellekabod2:
that is why I said it is your choice to be a villian/maleficent.
Very true there is a prevalent patriarchy and the fight is to change it to a system where everyone is happy and not cheated in anyway and not to a gynocentric society. Its like moving from an opposite end to another opposite end
It is also your choice to make bitter hateful comments . you will live with the repercussions of your words and I will live with the repercussions of my words. So be it for you to speak in your odds,so why don't you let ubunja speak in his odds without trolling him as you always do?
Let everyone speak in their odds and let's see who wins the gender war...time will indeed tell.

I don't troll him anymore and basically ignore him now. When last did I troll him? I actually wish him well because he speaks his truth.

Doesn't stop me from thinking that he's a psychopath though.