LordKO:
If you're a Mech. Engr. with at least 2 years previous work experience in the petroleum industry, send me a PM immediately.

As for your wife and her recent attitude, it's obvious that you've been living with a frenemy all this while. Only few men are lucky, and can be lucky, to marry virtuous/submissive women. Since she's of the small-minded stock, you've to master the art of treating small-minded people and mete out same to her - if you aren't small-minded like her too.

aaaah egbami o. I studied oil and gas engineering o. Hepp my life.

912:


You ugly sha o. I think it's because your eyes are too far apart.
Honest advice: please remove the picture from your profile. You look ugly and razz

she looks grotesque

funmisticqueen:
True but there are 3 sides to every story

yes of course.But generally money reveals human true nature.

Forgive me for laughing but this is what me and my nigga were discussing yesterday about if God allowed women to have a man's role in life
Good news is not all women are like this
Call ur wife and tell her her faults and if she refuses simply report her to both her and your parents
3 kids is no joke

Miner13:
as in auto reset

that guy is fond of going after village girls who can be easily tricked with cheap fabricated stories just imagine the very lame trick to get a bimbo to order

GTFO:
This fuministic or whatever that bitch name is, IS SO DUMB!!!

DAMN!!! I DONT PRAY MT BROTHER MARRY SOMEONE LIKE YOU.
GOD FORBID!!!!! DAMN FVCK!!!! YOURE SO FVCKING DUMB.. QUOTE ME MAKE I CURSE YOUR MAMA AND UR GENERATION, CUZ IM SURE YOURE FOLLOWING YOUR MAMA FOOTSTEPS

what a degenerate copy and paste minded piece of shit you are.

funmisticqueen:
what is this one talking about

Wowo girl. No man wants to be part of your problems. Talking about your matchmaking thread dumbdumb

RisenPhoenix:


They once did... until the new cultural farce emerged that a woman must help/support her husband in the home; some dodo interpreting that help to be financial rather than emotional and mental. That was when society started placing an expectation on women to become at least partial breadwinners; and made men give up part or all of their control over the household in exchange. Men opened the door for their own emasculation; no doubt about it.

Succinctly put!

mascot87:


I use you fear woman more o

You no see her forehead?
Those kind ladies are the real daughters of eve. Very wicked and troublesome.

912:


Wowo girl. No man wants to be part of your problems. Talking about your matchmaking thread dumbdumb

that thread was because I decided to take a break from calling out the bullshit of misogyny.

e author=strungup79 post=85389072]I'm 42 years old and married with 3 children (2 boys and a girl). I got married to this beatiful lady 13 years ago and everything was bliss until three years ago when my business experienced a serious down turn.

My wife on the other hand witnessed an upturn in fortunes and practically became the bread winner in the home.

Her good financial fortune had me focussed on trying to get myself back on track. I tried getting a job, but it was not forth coming.

My business continued to dwindle and then I resorted to doing small odd jobs just so I could contribute to the family upkeep.

My wife's upturn in fortune however brought out the ugliness in her. She started trying to assume control of the home. She stopped consulting me on decisions concerning our home, rather consulting her parents. She practically turned my kids against me as she painted me as irresponsible.

We initially had assess to each other's account, but now she has accounts hidden from me. I just found out she bought land somewhere, though she doesn't know I have that knowledge.

She has become rude and disrespectful and her parents and siblings have taken over my home. I am so pained because all I ever did was show her love and respect.

She didn't like the fact i tried to have order in my home and that seems to be my sin. I have never hit her or been wicked to her.

Right now, I'm pained and confused. I don't know what to do. Someone please help.[/quote]

So pathetic,right from the garden they have been falling our hand.
Just focus your energy on getting back your business and probably find a good job.let your energy daily be on this,let her altitude spur you back on your feet.
May God bless your hustle this Year.Remember woman are all the same and will behave the same way from time immemorial.

Melian:


Loyalty is a thing most people struggle with, both men and women. Notwithstanding, your wife shouldn't treat you like this. Is there a way you can move out of the house for the time being, that is if you have enough to cater for yourself? I think this move will bring her back to her senses or at least you'll get your self respect back.

He's probably having this problem because money is there only thing he contributed to the marriage.

It's like when men say women only brought sex to the relationship.

When it's no more there, what next?

LINTUNE:
dude just ignore her,not all women are like her ..have got lots of female friends and I know what I'm saying ,just leave that bitter woman..don't generalize her perceptions to all women OK

Lol. You are sure your female friends are not like that? Women have a Dr Jekyll-Mrs. Hyde personality. The version you see is the one they present.

pocohantas:
Go and make money again.

A good number of Nigerian men marry their wives with money. A good number of Nigerian women marry their husbands for money.

Never lose the money. It is what keeps Nigerian relationships going and it also determines who has the upperhand. Sadly, it isn't in your favour now.

At least, now you know the kind of wife you have. How you choose to handle her after this is up to you. My major problem is her turning the kids against you, but I have always been of the opinion that kids see, they are not too young to understand what is going on. With time they will make informed decisions. You can take a break from your wife and go clear your head somewhere.

While at it, be useful to the home and your kids in some other way that isn't financial.

Wise words baby girl, happy new year.

strungup79:


I'm always out of town looking for one job or business. I've just been unfortunate that all my efforts have yielded little or no fruit. It's almost as if there's a curse working against me.

Leave your state of residence and go live with any of your friends or relatives. Move alone and look for job opportunities there. This will reset her brain

funmisticqueen:
that thread was because I decided to take a break from calling out the bullshit of misogyny.

Lwkmd hahahahahaha come on you can do better than this pathetic excuse

funmisticqueen:
coming from you, that's a compliment.

I tell you what you don't want to hear but need to understand. My words chip away your armor and burrow into your soul

time will humble you...

poik:


A woman who is not innately submissive will only hide it until there is oportunity to showcase it, no matter what you do. You are just defending what you think you know.

what wrong in defending what I think I know? If I stand for nothing, I fall for everything. But I completely agree with you.

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

..... I thought you are sensible .... But its just Zero

Kendumazy:
I guess you didn't pray about your relationship or you didn't get to do spiritual consultation about the kind of person your wife is. See, when it comes to two people coming together to get married. There are a lot of things involved. A wife star might superceed that of the husband and atimes it could be the other way round. These are parts of what parents sees that make them stand their ground that their son or daughter won't get married to a particular person. Not that the person is bad but it's just that, we all have the star we carry. You don't need to fight your wife. You just need some prayer or spiritual journey to see what could be the cause of your downfall or you can try and leave the home for like a month and watch any changes.

tales by moonlight

It is not by praying about a spouse, after all, God still gave Hosea a prostitute as a wife, you think he did not pray?

You people should give practical advice and stop this talk about who prayed and who did not pray. Many have prayed for spouses and ended up with demons and many did not bother praying and ended up with good women/men. It is just favour, because even seemingly good people can change inside marriage.

pocohantas:
Go and make money again.

A good number of Nigerian men marry their wives with money. A good number of Nigerian women marry their husbands for money.

Never lose the money. It is what keeps Nigerian relationships going and it also determines who has the upperhand. Sadly, it isn't in your favour now.

At least, now you know the kind of wife you have. How you choose to handle her after this is up to you. My major problem is her turning the kids against you, but I have always been of the opinion that kids see, they are not too young to understand what is going on. With time they will make informed decisions. You can take a break from your wife and go clear your head somewhere.

While at it, be useful to the home and your kids in some other way that isn't financial.

u mean he should do domestic chores like washing plates and washing his wife pants ...anyways at least u are more human than ur friend.. ..

OP, now you know why your wife agreed to marry you years back. Most nigerian women marry for security and money. They marry who the believe can provide and protect them anyday and when you can't do both any longer, marital woe sets in. Presently my fiancee earns more than me and lives in her own house, but she never gives me bullshit because we are together for partnership and companionship and no other reason.

funmisticqueen:
marriage is not about control. Money is what gives control. Stop misquoting me from your place of pain.

Also stop this 'poor me' 'boohoo' victim mentality, it is irritating and pathetic. You are the one emasculating yourself, by allowing yourself to be emasculated.

Most likely money was all you had to offer in the marriage and now that you have lost that, you are just like an appendix in your marriage. Existing without function, but capable of causing hell because no one cares about it anymore.

It is not about bringing more money but showing that you are a leader, and being her support. Give her a reason to trust you by showing initiative. Do you think women like to be bread winners? She is picking up your slack.Of course She will be pissed at you subconsciously.

Be proactive, anticipate needs in the marriage that you can provide and meet them without being told or nagged. Convince her that you are still necessary in your marriage. Get your head out of your asshole and be man.


This is the most candid advice you will get from me or on your thread

you really think you are smart.. But i can tell sense is far from you... What you spewed is meaningless even though there is an iota of truth in it, the way you put it makes me question your sanity.. Why are you angry with the whole male folks... Op is not the ex that treated you badly... If you need to waste your precious time to advice someone, make it worthwhile and stop raising unnecessary dusts it doesn't make you wiser

Cutehector:
time will humble you...

Time has been humbling me since secondary school and med school.2019 taught me to fight and keep fighting and I am still fighting.

I have learnt to rely on only myself, people will only disappoint you. Always look out for yourself.

Martinez39:
Lol. You are sure your female friends are not like that? Women have a Dr Jekyll-Mrs. Hyde personality. The version you see is the one they present.

like I said,not all,definitely there will be exceptions

Dehindepgenius:
I am almost completely sure you are not giving us the full picture. It would be really interesting to hear your wife's version of this story. As human beings, we tend to tell stories in a way that favors us and make us garner pity. If your wife is the breadwinner at the moment, she deserves your loyalty, respect and understanding. Taking care of the financial responsibilities of a home is not easy. You plan, you worry, you get afraid, you have sleepless nights...especially if your spouse does not pitch in.
Here's what happens. When a man loses his source of livelihood, every little move by a woman suddenly becomes emaaculating. The woman is already under a terrible strain and you are here to barmouth her to strangers.

I frankly do not believe you are doing enough. Factories abound, uber is there, the keke business is there, even uneducated teenagers from the north are hustling and making a good living riding bikes.

Yea, sometimes a man experiences setbacks, my dad did. The true measure of manhood lies in dusting yourself off the ground and trying again. These days sadly, there are too many lazy men who whine instead of actually being men. If you are here bad mouthing your wife, then I'm willing to bet, you do it everywhere. My cousin went through this. Everybody called her wicked. The husband's elder brother was like come and stay with me and I'll fix you up with something. They no tell the brother. Las Las he chases the man out of his home and told everyone to ignore the man because he is lazy. All he does is play video games and sleep.

Society is particularly unfair to women. A quick look through this site will convince any unbiased person of that. You already have men pitying you and condemning your wife which is exactly what you wanted. Oga poster, you came here seeking pity, looking for people to condemn your wife and soothe your ego and you already have faceless strangers doing that, but the truth is you are failing as a husband and a father. These people cheering you on and telling you your wife is wicked are in their ow homes hustling and taking care of their business.

I am a man like you and I will not lie to you. You are your own problem. Take these steps.

1. First of all, love and appreciate your wife. Thank her for all she does.

2. Pray hard and ask God to show you why you are experiencing hard luck. Folks here might not tell you the truth, but you may have a character flaw that is working against you. You may actually be lazy, most lazy people won't admit it. It may also be karma. You may have treated others, including your wife badly in the past hence the problems. Yes, it happens. Find out what the problem is and fix it.

3. Hustle, hustle, hustle! I don't believe in excuses. Real men don't. Meanwhile, what do you do? You can mail me your cv at dehindep@gmail.com.

You are right. We haven't heard her side of the story. And he may be reading so much meaning into her actions and calling it "emasculation". He must've been treating her differently pushing her to take the actions she's taken so far. He is hallucinating the part with the children. It's his mind that is playing tricks on him. His wife is not a bad woman. She's just stressed and he isn't helping her relax. He should cook her favorite meal since he's now at home, when they've had a good time after the meal, he should beg her to forgive him and then in a humble tone tell her that they need to work things out.

Just giving similar advice that we see everyday on nairaland

strungup79:


I'm always out of town looking for one job or business. I've just been unfortunate that all my efforts have yielded little or no fruit. It's almost as if there's a curse working against me.

Oga I want to ask you. What spiritual principle where you abiding with when your business was booming? I guess none now here comes the crashing . You have a work to do now for your business to bounce back you have to go into a covenant, either with God or with the devil . I'd advise you to choose God's own o . People always fail to understand that life is spiritual

strungup79:
I'm 42 years old and married with 3 children (2 boys and a girl). I got married to this beatiful lady 13 years ago and everything was bliss until three years ago when my business experienced a serious down turn.

My wife on the other hand witnessed an upturn in fortunes and practically became the bread winner in the home.

Her good financial fortune had me focussed on trying to get myself back on track. I tried getting a job, but it was not forth coming.

My business continued to dwindle and then I resorted to doing small odd jobs just so I could contribute to the family upkeep.

My wife's upturn in fortune however brought out the ugliness in her. She started trying to assume control of the home. She stopped consulting me on decisions concerning our home, rather consulting her parents. She practically turned my kids against me as she painted me as irresponsible.

We initially had assess to each other's account, but now she has accounts hidden from me. I just found out she bought land somewhere, though she doesn't know I have that knowledge.

She has become rude and disrespectful and her parents and siblings have taken over my home. I am so pained because all I ever did was show her love and respect.

She didn't like the fact i tried to have order in my home and that seems to be my sin. I have never hit her or been wicked to her.

Right now, I'm pained and confused. I don't know what to do. Someone please help.

I pray God will help you women are like that everywhere once they contribute than you to family upkeep they will automatically assume they should control the home except they have the spirit of God in them,if she goes to church you can ask her women leaders to advise her,I pray God will provide good job for you

ichidodo:
She is not wife material...As life in general is uncertain it is important to have a partner who has got your back when the chips are down.Unfortunately, you haven't. I hope to learn from your circumstance...

yea.

The first and second paragraphs have explained everything.No need to read the rest.

maak400:

Sorry about your predicament sir, I can only imagine what you’re going through. That’s the nature of women who suddenly become richer than their husband, similar cases like yours abound everywhere. God did not create women to be the provider of the house, so anytime circumstances happen to make a woman the provider, they simply become proud and treat the husband like shit. Just keep praying and hoping that your business bounces back. Also, ensure that you still put your foot down as the head of your home no matter what attitude your wife is displaying.

Op should apply this method. Double your patience but still exact your authority as a man, God will surely turn things around for you.