₦airaland Forum

wany:
Hmmmm dude you are really low IQ wise I must say,so the end point of every marital issues in a home is the man getting a side chic,I laugh,and fighting a side chic without shame,hmmmm ,you are nuts,come forth with something more reasonable and leave side chic matter cause if we want to go there,marriage go crash,even as( an after 3) if you know,I get over 10hits a day from men like you.so who will a man play down with a side chic.I repeat let men tone down on their selfishness so that they can enjoy their marriage.

Its either you don't know what IQ means or u don't know anything at all. This man is suffering and its evident in this post. Now the question is for how long will he continue? This issue is simple because me when I was 8 in primary 2 I had my own room then we had a little child less than a year and he stays in a crib with rollers and during the day the crib is in the living room and at night it's rolled into the master bedroom where parents sleep.
In maternity wards for example once labour and delivery sessions are over the baby is put in a crib so the mother can rest and the mother only gets to hold the baby during lactation after which the baby is returned to the crib to avoid the mother turning on the baby on same bed.





This is simple logic. Men look for peace and satisfaction outside marriage when they suffer intangible stuffs like this for long didn't your mother tell you? This issue is as easy as ABC. Didn't your mother tell you or maybe some worthless schools you've attended that having an infant sleep on same bed with the mother is harzadous because the mother can turn and the baby's bones are not very strong. Where do I start from with you, what are in ur brains? Empty.


Sorry u can't roll with no brainers with zero parental care u self can't get a hit from a man like me education wise God forbid trust me I mean it. You no reach any where. You no even reach the nurses that take my orders and do as I say on and off duty in my place of work with their very valuable qualifications. U are below par just take my advice and handle ur home better.

Your wife has loss interest in sex. Many women find themselves in thie situation after given birth. Its not her fault but u need to talk with her.

sacx:
sisisi, come here. Why do all your posts start with exclamation? Haaaa, oooh, wow, eww! Oya answer me fast

Haaa!

Belafonte:
I’m convinced the wife is using the children to run interference to avoid having sex. It’s extremely unhealthy to have an 8 year old still sleeping with the parents regularly

Abi o...see format

based on what i have read so far here, it seems you value sex more than your children. Your wife told you that you can have sex with her after the children has slept, so what do you want again? cuddle as you ve said? Or what? I tire for you oooo

I HOPE U ARE NOT PLANNING TO CHEAT?

bukatyne:
And of course living the life.

Men are living the life in polygamy: Women would fight to cook for you, fight for your attention, fight to sleep with you, fight to even care for you

Don't worry.
You will be my my first wife.

Vortex369:
Well, your last line was a question: What I think?

Are you sure you really want to know what I think?

Since you asked for it, then I have to tell you what I think and the reason for my conclusions.

I think you are stupid, and I am not joking. I think you are one of the stupid husbands who have no idea what Fatherhood means and what being a real man in your home entails and how to be a husband to your own wife.

The reason I think you are stupid, is because at this stage in your Life, when your wife is strugggling real hard to bond with the young kids you still are worried about your silly sex life.

You have failed to be an alpha male, a real man, a true husband, who will cuddle his wife and his children and generate happiness for your wife. What bothers you is sex. Do you have any idea that it is sex that brought those children to this world, and when they come, you now sound as if those kids are inconvenience for your silly sex life. Do you even know how silly it sounds?

My advise is that you grow up. Call your wife and kiss her then apologize for complaining about Sex, and move into your bedroom and nurse those children to reach an age of grace.

It is not you that should be complaining of sex dimwit. If your wife needs sex, then become creative, you can make move in the kitchen, bathroom, toilet, under the bed and even at the BQ for a change.

You must not come here and lament about this nonsense again.

Do we not have real men again in this forum that will chastise these Indomie men?

Take charge of your home and bear all inconveniences. Life is not a place for perfect joy and happiness. Embrace the sorrows and pains.

IN AS MUCH AS I AGREE THAT OUR MAN SHOULD BE CONSIDERATE OF THE WIFE THIS PERIOD OF CHILD BEARING AND PARENTING, AFTERALL HE STILL HAVE BLISSFUL SEXUAL MOMENTS IN FUTURE WITH HIS WIFE AFTER THE CHILDREN BECAME GROWN UPS. IN THE SAME VEIN, WE SHOULD NOT ALWAYS MAKE MEN FEEL SO EMBARASSED FOR REQUESTING FOR THIER MARITAL RIGHT AND DO YOU KNOW THAT SOME MEN WILL EVEN GO OUT TO SATISFY THEMSELVES WITHOUT THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE WIFE FOR THE TIME BEING TO AVOID ALL THESE SHIT YOU PEOPLE ARE POURING ON HIM. WE SHOULD ALWAYS RESPECT PEOPLE'S PLIGHT AND RESPOND WITH ALL COURTESY MATURITY . NOBODY KNOWS YOU COULD BE IN HIS SHOES IN THE FUTIRE

U don’t own anybody’s breast because u paid dowry - it’s about tome this dowry nonsense needs to be scrapped ! D baby has more right over the breast than you - since the primary function of breast is for feeding .

Davash222:
After the day's toil, a married man needs the wife's cuddle and touches at night. It's essential in every young marriage. Coming back home at night to behold your sexy wife alone with lingerie at your wide bed gives joy and also elongates life's span. Wives should stop depriving their husbands this privilege.
One of the reasons for having children bedrooms is to create provisions for these things.


OP, I understand how you feel. Imagine a 7 month old baby dragging your breast with you.. Breast that you paid for. I know you dont have access to that breast again. Nawao

The woman knew the husband before knowing the KIDS, in as much that I understand she has to attend to the kids it's also important not to deny her husband his right. She knew the husband even before the KIDS were born, that's the mistake most women do to destroy their marriage. So because they have kids now she glue to them and neglect the husband material needs and expect him to understand.

Mr husband, talk to her about it gain and if that nonsense continue do the needful. By the time she come to her senses it would have already been too late for her.

koyyes:
Did you really read the op's post at all? or are you just expressing your usual spite against your fellow woman?

Are you saying the wife is right to co sleep with her children, especially with an 8year old?

Pataricatering:
U don’t own anybody’s breast because u paid dowry - it’s about tome this dowry nonsense needs to be scrapped ! D baby has more right over the breast than you - since the primary function of breast is for feeding .

If I pay your dowry, you owe me that breast!
If you’re not comfortable with that, remain single.

emmachukwu99:
OP you sound immature!! What do you expect? Your wife is willing to be with you and satisfy you by telling you that you guys can be having sex in the other room after putting the kids to bed.. What again do you want??

You want her to leave 7months old baby and be curdling you instead? You no get topic abeg.

What would happen if the children sleep in their beds and the husband and wife sleep in theirs? Is the co-sleeping the normal form of things?

uote author=ADUKKY post=86063546]Op, this is not enough reason for your marriage to fall apart. Communication in marriage is key, hence you need to let your wife see reason why the children should learn to sleep in their room apart from your need for sex. I am married with two kids, my children share a room while my husband and i have ours. I made conscious effort to make my children stay in their bed the moment they are weaned off breast, because children naturally will want to cuddle if you allow them. Let your wife know you are willing to work with her in getting the children used to their bed, also assist her in attending to the children once in while so the burden of tending the children does not fall on her alone. For your 8 year old daughter, let her know she should sleep in her, she is not too young to talk to. For the 7 months old, let him eat well before going to bed, so you and your wife can have time for each other before he wakes. My 8 yr old and 6 yr old still come to our bed occasionally but once i notice them, i move them back to their bed and the following morning i talk to them about it. You will be fine but you also must be willing to put in the extra work. We mothers are always attached to our children, but moderation is key in everything. Hope this helps.[/quote]Well said Aduki. Woman of wisdom and experience. That's how it's supposed to be. God bless you. OP take note.

Vortex369:
Well, your last line was a question: What I think?

Are you sure you really want to know what I think?

Since you asked for it, then I have to tell you what I think and the reason for my conclusions.

I think you are stupid, and I am not joking. I think you are one of the stupid husbands who have no idea what Fatherhood means and what being a real man in your home entails and how to be a husband to your own wife.

The reason I think you are stupid, is because at this stage in your Life, when your wife is strugggling real hard to bond with the young kids you still are worried about your silly sex life.

You have failed to be an alpha male, a real man, a true husband, who will cuddle his wife and his children and generate happiness for your wife. What bothers you is sex. Do you have any idea that it is sex that brought those children to this world, and when they come, you now sound as if those kids are inconvenience for your silly sex life. Do you even know how silly it sounds?

My advise is that you grow up. Call your wife and kiss her then apologize for complaining about Sex, and move into your bedroom and nurse those children to reach an age of grace.

It is not you that should be complaining of sex dimwit. If your wife needs sex, then become creative, you can make move in the kitchen, bathroom, toilet, under the bed and even at the BQ for a change.

You must not come here and lament about this nonsense again.

Do we not have real men again in this forum that will chastise these Indomie men?

Take charge of your home and bear all inconveniences. Life is not a place for perfect joy and happiness. Embrace the sorrows and pains.

Madam shut your mouth..damn,are you his wife? What's with all the insults.

I will come back with an algorithm to solve this your problem. Wait... i am coming.....

Lol., people literally teaching a nigga ways to f_ck his wife hahah

Prosper82:
I Feel Like My Marriage Is Falling Apart

I would like in advance to apologize for the long post but I think some background information is needed so you can assess the situation.

My wife and I have two kids. The oldest is turning 8 soon and the youngest is 7 months old.

Since our first child was born she has been co-sleeping with us. And ever since our sex life has been going down hill.

Now since our youngest child was born he has also been sleeping with us in a queen sized bed. But after two months of very poor sleep, I decided I couldn't follow that arrangement anymore so I went to sleep in the next room.

So since our kids were born my wife has been sleeping with them and now I sleep alone.

As you could imagine, you can't really have sex with two kids on the bed. We have gone weeks and even months without having any sex.
So my wife says that we should have sex in the room where I sleep after she puts the children to sleep.

This to me sounds like making an appointment to have sex. It isn't something you can have if you have to set up a time in advanced. I also miss cuddling with her and sleeping in our bed.


I feel like us sleeping in different rooms and beds has been the biggest hurdle to get back to the point we were before having kids.

We have a crib for the baby and a bed for our oldest daughter where each of the children could sleep separately but she's into attachment parenting so if the children cry (which I suppose they will when adapting to a new sleeping arrangement) is something that she wouldn't tolerate.

I also I understand the 7 month old might need to be breastfed in the middle of the night so she says it's more convenient just to have him nearby in bed than having to get up to breastfeed him but I feel that my daughter should be learning to sleep independently.

Anyway, it's been quite a while without sex and I don't know what to tell her or do.
We have a lot of fights because of this.

I feel that attachment parenting might feel like you're doing the best for the kids, but if it also ends up destroying the marriage and we separate what good would that do for them?

What do you guys think?

Ogbeni, you need to be more understanding of your wife.

She now has to feed, bathe, clean up after and attend to TWO kids.

Now is the time to be spontaneous. When the kids are asleep Bleep your wife in the kitchen, while you are taking your bathe, on the balcony, in the palour, on the generator and even on the roof.

When they are old enough they will demand to move to their own rooms and you can go back to doing all the cuddling you want.

Don't add to the woman's stress abeg.

Bleep her everywhere!

Prosper82:
I Feel Like My Marriage Is Falling Apart

I would like in advance to apologize for the long post but I think some background information is needed so you can assess the situation.

My wife and I have two kids. The oldest is turning 8 soon and the youngest is 7 months old.

Since our first child was born she has been co-sleeping with us. And ever since our sex life has been going down hill.

Now since our youngest child was born he has also been sleeping with us in a queen sized bed. But after two months of very poor sleep, I decided I couldn't follow that arrangement anymore so I went to sleep in the next room.

So since our kids were born my wife has been sleeping with them and now I sleep alone.

As you could imagine, you can't really have sex with two kids on the bed. We have gone weeks and even months without having any sex.
So my wife says that we should have sex in the room where I sleep after she puts the children to sleep.

This to me sounds like making an appointment to have sex. It isn't something you can have if you have to set up a time in advanced. I also miss cuddling with her and sleeping in our bed.


I feel like us sleeping in different rooms and beds has been the biggest hurdle to get back to the point we were before having kids.

We have a crib for the baby and a bed for our oldest daughter where each of the children could sleep separately but she's into attachment parenting so if the children cry (which I suppose they will when adapting to a new sleeping arrangement) is something that she wouldn't tolerate.

I also I understand the 7 month old might need to be breastfed in the middle of the night so she says it's more convenient just to have him nearby in bed than having to get up to breastfeed him but I feel that my daughter should be learning to sleep independently.

Anyway, it's been quite a while without sex and I don't know what to tell her or do.
We have a lot of fights because of this.

I feel that attachment parenting might feel like you're doing the best for the kids, but if it also ends up destroying the marriage and we separate what good would that do for them?

What do you guys think?

Hello brother, I went thru this phase,but I tried till I conquered this phase.
Try to get customised raised bed for the two kids beside ur family bed in ur room.The bed will be taken off in the morning and placed back at night,my kids are 6 and 4 years respectively, and they sleep in our room,but on different bed,if possible, reduce the size of ur family bed to be able to contain the bed u re making for the kids.You know what,most women like ur wife and mine do not care ,they like this phase,morealso,they too are going thru post baby depression

Nwakannaya1:
To get some things clear, you need to do paternity test on both kids, I think she's tired of pretending.

At 8years, many kids are already in the boarding secondary school. Learning how to survive independently.

On a second thought, I do not advise you to take this decision below, but if you will do, you will be surprised how your cosmology will change. Forget about her emotional needs, provide her material needs, maintain your self discipline, and watch her be the one at the receiving end in a few years time.

She will even call your whole village to come and ask you questions, by then, you have already gotten used to surviving without her despite not cheating on her. However, this is highly not advisable.

You took the words right out from my mouth. 8yr old that should be preparing to go to boarding school is still sleeping with mummy and daddy. Some parents are their children's undoing.

It's little things like this that cause problems in marriages but people are taking it lightly and making the op feel he's wrong. But they don't realize that little hinges swing huge doors.

May we not use our children to spoil our marriage.

Ladylite:
This is a real question that many singles have not begun to consider or discuss before marriage.

I hope you know that your wife loves you, but the sacrifice you have to make is beyond sleep, it also involves sex... Now that there is a 7month old blessed baby with you, simply DATE your wife.....

By date I mean, treat her well, do things for her and be very nice to her as expected, buy her gifts, pamper her... She will give you sex.. I assure you.

Your wife is going through a major phase and you need to understand it and be there for her.

I hope this is clear

Wow. Wise words!

madridsta007:
Spoil your wife.
Take her out; shop for her; actively participate in taking care of the kids; have date nights, etc. Do what you did to woo her.

You’ll get sex easily.
At least this is what my friends who are married and in your situation do.
Find a way around it. Do not, do not look outside. Please.
All the best in and with your marriage.

So a man has to do all this to sleep with his wife that exchanged vows at the alter about her body not being hers alone? Wrong!

So will she also take him out, spoil him, buy him gifts when she needs sex?

Don't rely on what your married friends say. You can only know the truth when you leave with them in their room. When you get married, you will be able to comment better.

bukatyne:
And of course living the life.

Men are living the life in polygamy: Women would fight to cook for you, fight for your attention, fight to sleep with you, fight to even care for you

oftentimes,am left wondering if is really a lady behind this Monica, ur assertions an judgement are usually so unbiased an neutral... Not the typical naija egocentric females

Prosper82:
I Feel Like My Marriage Is Falling Apart

I would like in advance to apologize for the long post but I think some background information is needed so you can assess the situation.

My wife and I have two kids. The oldest is turning 8 soon and the youngest is 7 months old.

Since our first child was born she has been co-sleeping with us. And ever since our sex life has been going down hill.

Now since our youngest child was born he has also been sleeping with us in a queen sized bed. But after two months of very poor sleep, I decided I couldn't follow that arrangement anymore so I went to sleep in the next room.

So since our kids were born my wife has been sleeping with them and now I sleep alone.

As you could imagine, you can't really have sex with two kids on the bed. We have gone weeks and even months without having any sex.
So my wife says that we should have sex in the room where I sleep after she puts the children to sleep.

This to me sounds like making an appointment to have sex. It isn't something you can have if you have to set up a time in advanced. I also miss cuddling with her and sleeping in our bed.


I feel like us sleeping in different rooms and beds has been the biggest hurdle to get back to the point we were before having kids.

We have a crib for the baby and a bed for our oldest daughter where each of the children could sleep separately but she's into attachment parenting so if the children cry (which I suppose they will when adapting to a new sleeping arrangement) is something that she wouldn't tolerate.

I also I understand the 7 month old might need to be breastfed in the middle of the night so she says it's more convenient just to have him nearby in bed than having to get up to breastfeed him but I feel that my daughter should be learning to sleep independently.

Anyway, it's been quite a while without sex and I don't know what to tell her or do.
We have a lot of fights because of this.

I feel that attachment parenting might feel like you're doing the best for the kids, but if it also ends up destroying the marriage and we separate what good would that do for them?

What do you guys think?

There's your deliverance brother.
By making the bolded statement above, you told us the REAL truth and shot yourself in the leg in the process. You're only sex starved because of pride or ego.

Grab that opportunity she has given you with both of your hands. It's better than nothing and it is the best you can get at this time.

The kids are yours aren't they? You're making it sound as if they aren't. All you see is your immediate need.

Accept it the way it is for now, soon things will get back to normalcy.

MODIFIED: I just saw the oldest one is 8, as in 8 years? Brother you've been in the game for long, rest small na.

Though after knowing this, I feel my comments sounds rather insensitive, but it would still help out. Good luck.

Cutehector:
very stupid I must join you to say

Very very stupid..I must add mine

An 8 years old child sleeping on the same bed with the parent? Beautiful rubbish! Do we even understand the use of the baby cribs we buy during baby shopping? It is not for decoration or to be displayed for guests to see you have one, couple sleeping on the same bed without the interference of children is beyond sex! It’s bonding,it’s saying nothing can come between you two,not even your children! good parenting is not keeping children who are ought to be sleeping peacefully on their own on your bed! I was brought up in a room and parlour settings,I can’t remember sleeping in between my parent even I was the only child for 9years! Couples should pls work on this

hmm so you are jealous of your own children....because they have taken all the attention,your wife was giving you before?

Ghostmode2two:
Mr man you have to calm down. Your wife is nursing a little child and sex should not be a top priority. First and foremost, I will suggest that your wife sleep with the cute little baby she is breastfeeding while you and the other child be in your room then you can sneak out to meet your wife once the older child is fast asleep and you and wify can groove on in the other room. In this way things will work out or maybe you and the little child can sleep together to allow your wife some freedom. All my kids slept in my room as from 8 days old and when they want to eat I take them to their mother for freeing. you must share in this and wify will appreciate. In fact it got to a stage that if the kids want to sleep they will call me to come and they would climb me and sleep. I automatically became their human foam. It will also bond you more to the kids
You don't need to fight wify over sex, sounds childish.

I did exactly this to my dad. As a baby up until my 4 years old, I wouldn't sleep unless I sleep on my daddy's chest n funny enough I'm usually surprised how I wake up with my other siblings in d morning but it made me bond well with him. I left home at 6years old to live with my uncle in another state due to d choice of school I had to attend n from there to a boarding house till I finished all my degrees I never schooled in a school in same state with my parents or siblings n yet...I am strong,bold,intelligent,fearless n brave till today as a married woman,my husband admire me for all I am ok. It's a good thing to teach d children how to be independent after bonding a while as parents. You just made me remember my dad n its good I made sure he knows he was d best ever. I miss him.

jenifer007:
Madam you are very wrong with your analysis.... Once you are married even your kids must not be a barrier when it comes to satisfying your man.....A reasonable married woman must know how to balance the equation....

Leave them oo..By the time the man starts having a side babe now, they will accuse him of cheating..They are not aware that sex is a physiological need, just like oxygen and food. All these single ladies that do not know what marriage entails, would come here and start giving rubbish advice..Rubbish

Prosper82:
I Feel Like My Marriage Is Falling Apart

I would like in advance to apologize for the long post but I think some background information is needed so you can assess the situation.

My wife and I have two kids. The oldest is turning 8 soon and the youngest is 7 months old.

Since our first child was born she has been co-sleeping with us. And ever since our sex life has been going down hill.

Now since our youngest child was born he has also been sleeping with us in a queen sized bed. But after two months of very poor sleep, I decided I couldn't follow that arrangement anymore so I went to sleep in the next room.

So since our kids were born my wife has been sleeping with them and now I sleep alone.

As you could imagine, you can't really have sex with two kids on the bed. We have gone weeks and even months without having any sex.
So my wife says that we should have sex in the room where I sleep after she puts the children to sleep.

This to me sounds like making an appointment to have sex. It isn't something you can have if you have to set up a time in advanced. I also miss cuddling with her and sleeping in our bed.


I feel like us sleeping in different rooms and beds has been the biggest hurdle to get back to the point we were before having kids.

We have a crib for the baby and a bed for our oldest daughter where each of the children could sleep separately but she's into attachment parenting so if the children cry (which I suppose they will when adapting to a new sleeping arrangement) is something that she wouldn't tolerate.

I also I understand the 7 month old might need to be breastfed in the middle of the night so she says it's more convenient just to have him nearby in bed than having to get up to breastfeed him but I feel that my daughter should be learning to sleep independently.

Anyway, it's been quite a while without sex and I don't know what to tell her or do.
We have a lot of fights because of this.

I feel that attachment parenting might feel like you're doing the best for the kids, but if it also ends up destroying the marriage and we separate what good would that do for them?

What do you guys think?

Bros go get a girlfriend.

See this OP o!!! Area where i grew up, I knew couples that lived in room and parlor, and gave birth to 8 children living in that apartment for more than a decade. And there was no form of complain. Of go and learn how to meet up with ur duty even in tight conditions

Ladylite:
This is a real question that many singles have not begun to consider or discuss before marriage.

I hope you know that your wife loves you, but the sacrifice you have to make is beyond sleep, it also involves sex... Now that there is a 7month old blessed baby with you, simply DATE your wife.....

By date I mean, treat her well, do things for her and be very nice to her as expected, buy her gifts, pamper her... She will give you sex.. I assure you.

Your wife is going through a major phase and you need to understand it and be there for her.

I hope this is clear

Bull shit