₦airaland Forum

sisisioge:
Abi o...see format

midnighter:
Is it not what they use as comedy in American tv drama? Those backward families in the rural areas where incest is common and people dont have good boundaries..the running joke is that the grown children sleep in their parents bed and end up developing some strange character

Thats the problem with fake "woke" people in this country... instead of evaluating an idea sensibly, you try to be more American than the Americans and end up getting it all wrong

Some people here are actually defending the wife and insulting the OP, Im shocked.

lalopeto:
IN AS MUCH AS I AGREE THAT OUR MAN SHOULD BE CONSIDERATE OF THE WIFE THIS PERIOD OF CHILD BEARING AND PARENTING, AFTERALL HE STILL HAVE BLISSFUL SEXUAL MOMENTS IN FUTURE WITH HIS WIFE AFTER THE CHILDREN BECAME GROWN UPS. IN THE SAME VEIN, WE SHOULD NOT ALWAYS MAKE MEN FEEL SO EMBARASSED FOR REQUESTING FOR THIER MARITAL RIGHT AND DO YOU KNOW THAT SOME MEN WILL EVEN GO OUT TO SATISFY THEMSELVES WITHOUT THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE WIFE FOR THE TIME BEING TO AVOID ALL THESE SHIT YOU PEOPLE ARE POURING ON HIM. WE SHOULD ALWAYS RESPECT PEOPLE'S PLIGHT AND RESPOND WITH ALL COURTESY MATURITY . NOBODY KNOWS YOU COULD BE IN HIS SHOES IN THE FUTIRE

hahn:
Ogbeni, you need to be more understanding of your wife.

She now has to feed, bathe, clean up after and attend to TWO kids.

Now is the time to be spontaneous. When the kids are asleep Bleep your wife in the kitchen, while you are taking your bathe, on the balcony, in the palour, on the generator and even on the roof.

When they are old enough they will demand to move to their own rooms and you can go back to doing all the cuddling you want.

Don't add to the woman's stress abeg.

Bleep her everywhere!

your favorite spot should be included. inside a well.

deavicky:
get someone nice to be staying with them. I'm already foreseeing same thing in my home too. But i have to plan ahead.

Afrikween:
Go get yourself a side chica maaaaaannnn...
That way you’ll feel better.
Thank me later.

Ginaz:
I don’t understand why an 8/9yrs old girl would still be sleeping with her parents on same bed.

That is ridiculous and needs to stop, your wife has poor parenting skills . She should be training them to be comfortable on their own not the other way round .

That nonsense should stop! Your wife is at fault here, she is parenting the kids a bad way. The senior child is old enough to be sleeping in her own room by herself and that should stop with immediate effect .

Your wife is faulty here. You can’t use your poor attempt at parent attachment or whatever it is called to inconvenience your husband in the house he should be comfortable in the first place .

Oga you deserve the sex you want from your wife . She is using the kids to her own advantage and it’s high time you put an end to the rubbish of letting the kids share same bed with you both.
Don’t let anyone here tells you that you are wrong for demanding the kids move out of the room to theirs, you are totally right .

How long would you keep up with it? You have been keeping with it for years now and that’s no sacrifice, it’s a bondage.

Prosper82:
I Feel Like My Marriage Is Falling Apart

I would like in advance to apologize for the long post but I think some background information is needed so you can assess the situation.

My wife and I have two kids. The oldest is turning 8 soon and the youngest is 7 months old.

Since our first child was born she has been co-sleeping with us. And ever since our sex life has been going down hill.

Now since our youngest child was born he has also been sleeping with us in a queen sized bed. But after two months of very poor sleep, I decided I couldn't follow that arrangement anymore so I went to sleep in the next room.

So since our kids were born my wife has been sleeping with them and now I sleep alone.

As you could imagine, you can't really have sex with two kids on the bed. We have gone weeks and even months without having any sex.
So my wife says that we should have sex in the room where I sleep after she puts the children to sleep.

This to me sounds like making an appointment to have sex. It isn't something you can have if you have to set up a time in advanced. I also miss cuddling with her and sleeping in our bed.


I feel like us sleeping in different rooms and beds has been the biggest hurdle to get back to the point we were before having kids.

We have a crib for the baby and a bed for our oldest daughter where each of the children could sleep separately but she's into attachment parenting so if the children cry (which I suppose they will when adapting to a new sleeping arrangement) is something that she wouldn't tolerate.

I also I understand the 7 month old might need to be breastfed in the middle of the night so she says it's more convenient just to have him nearby in bed than having to get up to breastfeed him but I feel that my daughter should be learning to sleep independently.

Anyway, it's been quite a while without sex and I don't know what to tell her or do.
We have a lot of fights because of this.

I feel that attachment parenting might feel like you're doing the best for the kids, but if it also ends up destroying the marriage and we separate what good would that do for them?

What do you guys think?

Vortex369:
Well, your last line was a question: What I think?

Are you sure you really want to know what I think?

Since you asked for it, then I have to tell you what I think and the reason for my conclusions.

I think you are stupid, and I am not joking. I think you are one of the stupid husbands who have no idea what Fatherhood means and what being a real man in your home entails and how to be a husband to your own wife.

The reason I think you are stupid, is because at this stage in your Life, when your wife is strugggling real hard to bond with the young kids you still are worried about your silly sex life.

You have failed to be an alpha male, a real man, a true husband, who will cuddle his wife and his children and generate happiness for your wife. What bothers you is sex. Do you have any idea that it is sex that brought those children to this world, and when they come, you now sound as if those kids are inconvenience for your silly sex life. Do you even know how silly it sounds?

My advise is that you grow up. Call your wife and kiss her then apologize for complaining about Sex, and move into your bedroom and nurse those children to reach an age of grace.

It is not you that should be complaining of sex dimwit. If your wife needs sex, then become creative, you can make move in the kitchen, bathroom, toilet, under the bed and even at the BQ for a change.

You must not come here and lament about this nonsense again.

Do we not have real men again in this forum that will chastise these Indomie men?

Take charge of your home and bear all inconveniences. Life is not a place for perfect joy and happiness. Embrace the sorrows and pains.

Vortex369:
Well, your last line was a question: What I think?

Are you sure you really want to know what I think?

Since you asked for it, then I have to tell you what I think and the reason for my conclusions.

I think you are stupid, and I am not joking. I think you are one of the stupid husbands who have no idea what Fatherhood means and what being a real man in your home entails and how to be a husband to your own wife.

The reason I think you are stupid, is because at this stage in your Life, when your wife is strugggling real hard to bond with the young kids you still are worried about your silly sex life.

You have failed to be an alpha male, a real man, a true husband, who will cuddle his wife and his children and generate happiness for your wife. What bothers you is sex. Do you have any idea that it is sex that brought those children to this world, and when they come, you now sound as if those kids are inconvenience for your silly sex life. Do you even know how silly it sounds?

My advise is that you grow up. Call your wife and kiss her then apologize for complaining about Sex, and move into your bedroom and nurse those children to reach an age of grace.

It is not you that should be complaining of sex dimwit. If your wife needs sex, then become creative, you can make move in the kitchen, bathroom, toilet, under the bed and even at the BQ for a change.

You must not come here and lament about this nonsense again.

Do we not have real men again in this forum that will chastise these Indomie men?

Take charge of your home and bear all inconveniences. Life is not a place for perfect joy and happiness. Embrace the sorrows and pains.

ImaIma1:
In the future ke! What about now?

ImaIma1:
So a man has to do all this to sleep with his wife that exchanged vows at the alter about her body not being hers alone? Wrong!

So will she also take him out, spoil him, buy him gifts when she needs sex?

Don't rely on what your married friends say. You can o fly know the truth when you leave with them in their room. When you get married, you will be able to comment better.

Prosper82:
I appreciate all the helpful and advice / criticism. It's what I needed from you all.

I cook 40% of the time. I always do the laundry, and wash the dishes at least half of the time. Whenever possible I take our oldest out so she can get a break from at least one of the kids.

The truth is that Something my wife does frequently is she will say something implying that we will have sex after she put the children to bed then when the moment comes she will either just ignore it and not act on what she said earlier or she will come up with some reason not to have sex.

The other day she said she would come over to me, but fell asleep with the kids, and I don't feel like waking her up to come have sex with me. she's a full time house wife and I realize she's super exhausted taking care of the house and two kids all day.

Last night I came back from work she straight up say we should have sex later and I helped out bathing our baby . Then she started cooking , while I had the kids. When she was done she took the kids to bed and I started ironing our clothes. After the kids fell asleep she came out cleaned the living room while I was still ironing . By the time we were done, it was 9.30pm Apparently, she wanted sex but at the same time she was on the phone with her sister. I was exhausted so I just went to bed. And that's how it goes.

I'm not entirely against attachment parenting, but the co-sleeping part has honestly created some resentment in me. Maybe I'm being selfish for feeling this way, but I feel relegated. She's a great mother, and I'm really lucky that my children have such a loving and caring mother. I just wish our marriage was a little bit like it was before having any kids. I guess, as some of you have said, I haven't fully realized what it means to adapt to parenthood.

lalopeto:
Ehn... he will still get it but not as satisfactory as when the wife is still a nursing mother now. He should be patient at least she still meets him in the other room for the thing. Me wey i never Bleep my own wife for over 5 years nko and we are still husband and wife, bride price fully paid

Vortex369:
Well, your last line was a question: What I think?

Are you sure you really want to know what I think?

Since you asked for it, then I have to tell you what I think and the reason for my conclusions.

I think you are stupid, and I am not joking. I think you are one of the stupid husbands who have no idea what Fatherhood means and what being a real man in your home entails and how to be a husband to your own wife.

The reason I think you are stupid, is because at this stage in your Life, when your wife is strugggling real hard to bond with the young kids you still are worried about your silly sex life.

You have failed to be an alpha male, a real man, a true husband, who will cuddle his wife and his children and generate happiness for your wife. What bothers you is sex. Do you have any idea that it is sex that brought those children to this world, and when they come, you now sound as if those kids are inconvenience for your silly sex life. Do you even know how silly it sounds?

My advise is that you grow up. Call your wife and kiss her then apologize for complaining about Sex, and move into your bedroom and nurse those children to reach an age of grace.

It is not you that should be complaining of sex dimwit. If your wife needs sex, then become creative, you can make move in the kitchen, bathroom, toilet, under the bed and even at the BQ for a change.

You must not come here and lament about this nonsense again.

Do we not have real men again in this forum that will chastise these Indomie men?

Take charge of your home and bear all inconveniences. Life is not a place for perfect joy and happiness. Embrace the sorrows and pains.

Belafonte:
You no see my kids abi?

Lolo24:
You took the words out of my big head. Imagine what a grown man posted

GGirll:
I did exactly this to my dad. As a baby up until my 4 years old, I wouldn't sleep unless I sleep on my daddy's chest n funny enough I'm usually surprised how I wake up with my other siblings in d morning but it made me bond well with him. I left home at 6years old to live with my uncle in another state due to d choice of school I had to attend n from there to a boarding house till I finished all my degrees I never schooled in a school in same state with my parents or siblings n yet...I am strong,bold,intelligent,fearless n brave till today as a married woman,my husband admire me for all I am ok. It's a good thing to teach d children how to be independent after bonding a while as parents. You just made me remember my dad n its good I made sure he knows he was d best ever. I miss him.

Vortex369:
Well, your last line was a question: What I think?

Are you sure you really want to know what I think?

Since you asked for it, then I have to tell you what I think and the reason for my conclusions.

I think you are stupid, and I am not joking. I think you are one of the stupid husbands who have no idea what Fatherhood means and what being a real man in your home entails and how to be a husband to your own wife.

The reason I think you are stupid, is because at this stage in your Life, when your wife is strugggling real hard to bond with the young kids you still are worried about your silly sex life.

You have failed to be an alpha male, a real man, a true husband, who will cuddle his wife and his children and generate happiness for your wife. What bothers you is sex. Do you have any idea that it is sex that brought those children to this world, and when they come, you now sound as if those kids are inconvenience for your silly sex life. Do you even know how silly it sounds?[/i]

My advise is that you grow up. Call your wife and kiss her then apologize for complaining about Sex, and move into your bedroom and nurse those children to reach an age of grace.


[s]It is not you that should be complaining of sex dimwit. If your wife needs sex, then become creative, you can make move in the kitchen, bathroom, toilet, under the bed and even at the BQ for a change.
[/s]
[s]You must not come here and lament about this nonsense again.[/s]

Do we not have real men again in this forum that will chastise these Indomie men?[s][/s][i]

[s]Take charge of your home and bear all inconveniences. Life is not a place for perfect joy and happiness. Embrace the sorrows and pains.[/s]

ImaIma1:
Let your wife train your baby to sleep in his/her own bed right from the hospital. That's how to nip it in the bud.

TruthSpeaker:
What a mad comment. His wife is struggling really hard to bond with the young kids by insisting they all sleep in the same bed with him? Common sense seems to be evading your brain. It is very wrong for either of the kids to share the same bed with the couple all night. You sound like someone that grew up in a face me, I face you Lagos set up so you probably witness sex at an early age.

Alpha male, real male, true husband to you means a man that sleeps with his wife and 2 children all night in the same bed all year round bah? Your mumuhood nah carry come abeg, I now understand.

What sounds silly is the fact that you are not getting it that those kids have no business sleeping in the bed with their parents.

Poor you, you should rather be recommending both kids get accustomed to sleeping in their bed and cot respectively and in the assigned rooms. 8 years old should sleep in a different room, while the 7 months old should share the same room but not bed (instead remain in the baby cot).

He shouldn’t complain of lack of sex with his wife right, he should rather go get a side chick or hook up with prostitutes bah? He didn’t buy a queen size bed to accommodate the family at night, rather he bought it to enjoy it with his wife. He also spent money buying both a cot and another bed and he doesn’t live in a self contained one room accommodation. What age do you consider to be age of grace? The kids should keep sleeping with the couple till then become adolescents bah?

You are the one that need to earn common sense to get his point of view and understand his wife isn’t handling the issue correctly. The excessive and unnecessary bond she thinks she is building with the children to the detriment of her husband is insane. Kids should not be accustomed to sleeping in the same bed with their parents.

With Indomie brain, how can you identify a real man?


All your trash talk only proves you can’t even effectively take charge of your own home because you fail to ever identify the problems on ground. With ordinary common sense which you lack, you could make life more joyful and happy. Calling his wife to order will resolve the issue.

Step up your brain and avoid insulting someone who only presented his problem and asked for people’s opinion.

djon78:
Very true only those that grew up in face me I face you have this kind of mentality.
In the home I grew up in babies have there cribs, children have there own room while daddy and mummy have there own room.
Everyone must respect there own space.

Prosper82:
I appreciate all the helpful and advice / criticism. It's what I needed from you all.

I cook 40% of the time. I always do the laundry, and wash the dishes at least half of the time. Whenever possible I take our oldest out so she can get a break from at least one of the kids.

The truth is that Something my wife does frequently is she will say something implying that we will have sex after she put the children to bed then when the moment comes she will either just ignore it and not act on what she said earlier or she will come up with some reason not to have sex.

The other day she said she would come over to me, but fell asleep with the kids, and I don't feel like waking her up to come have sex with me. she's a full time house wife and I realize she's super exhausted taking care of the house and two kids all day.

Last night I came back from work she straight up say we should have sex later and I helped out bathing our baby . Then she started cooking , while I had the kids. When she was done she took the kids to bed and I started ironing our clothes. After the kids fell asleep she came out cleaned the living room while I was still ironing . By the time we were done, it was 9.30pm Apparently, she wanted sex but at the same time she was on the phone with her sister. I was exhausted so I just went to bed. And that's how it goes.

I'm not entirely against attachment parenting, but the co-sleeping part has honestly created some resentment in me. Maybe I'm being selfish for feeling this way, but I feel relegated. She's a great mother, and I'm really lucky that my children have such a loving and caring mother. I just wish our marriage was a little bit like it was before having any kids. I guess, as some of you have said, I haven't fully realized what it means to adapt to parenthood.

bukatyne:
I was shocked a lot of posters think children should share same bed with their parents in a normal marriage.

koyyes:
Did you really read the op's post at all? or are you just expressing your usual spite against your fellow woman?