Kennedyiheme:
his attention wasn't pulled away because of the sex... his relationship was probably in rocks... he only found confort in her company.. not because she gave him good sex

And seeking comfort from another person, other than your partner is cheating...


And it's that very comfort that took away his attention...

Kennedyiheme:
most of them are feminists online.. I've met a few of them, its all hypocrisy

I don't bother digging deep. I take everyone at face value. If anyone is deceiving him/herself that is their problem. Self deceit is the tool of the weak.

Seriously! That’s why they keep training kids that aren’t theirs, and once you don’t agree with what ever they say you’re tagged a feminist!


Did you see his retarded reply and the brain dead morons are busy giving themselves high five.

Since Nigerian men believe being faithful is not for them, then they have no moral right to demand such from women.

It’s a crime in this poor country to be a woman with a mind of her own.

ePoster:
its ironic that these set of individuals believe that they are in the position to tell another what they need or want. Thats a personal choice.
A lady can have an extra marital affair with a male she doesn't love and a man can cheat with a woman he adores more than his own wife and children.
I blame ignorance and their closed mentality. Its either black or white.
If a woman is financially supporting the family (perhaps the man lost his job) is she exempted?
Everyone has a different definition of cheating. Most agree that one cannot have sex with another without them forming emotional attachments.
And also, everyone has a degree to which they tolerate a cheating partner. Male or female

RisenPhoenix:


The roles of marriage are not interchangeable. It is the duty of the husband to take financial care of the family and the duty of the wife to keep him sexually satisfied and bear him genetically true children.

Really?! But women contribute financially to the day to day running of the family, in most cases even more. Is it not on this same nairaland that women get asked by men if they’re contributing to the family financially whenever they complain about their spouse?!

RisenPhoenix:


Secondly, if she's the one taking care of the man financially, he's cheating her and she has a right to leave him, but not to cheat back on him. Likewise, if she fails to reserve her body for him or satisfy him sexually, he has a right to leave her, but not to cheat on her by cutting off her maintenance while still calling her his wife.

But if she leaves she will still get called a hoe who couldn’t help out her husband.

Kobicove:


Of course he jilted her!

How can you date a lady for 7 years then suddenly say you don't want to marry her.

Look by the time a relationship is 6months old any serious gut will know if he wants to commit or not

you don't believe people have faults?..

yanabasee:



And seeking comfort from another person, other than your partner is cheating...


And it's that very comfort that took away his attention...

you probably missed the point.. the point is men dont get emotional attachment from sex.. it is more disastrous when a woman cheats because of sex than when a man does.. yall find it hard comprehending things on here

RisenPhoenix:


They are not all irredeemable. At least, she should understand that one party cheating does not justify the other retaliating; which was the general focus of the question she asked me earlier.

Your earlier statement
...cheating for a man is when he refuses to fully protect and support his woman financially...
...cheating for a woman is when she shares her body with others...
Which agrees with the ops post that cheating is defined differently.
Your comment now contradicts your initial statement.
A man cheats also by having an extramarital affair. Not just the woman
But i support that the best approach to a cheating partner isnt retaliation. It cheapens the person rather.

AGAIN THOUGH, THAT WASNT HER QUESTION. IF A WOMAN SUPPORTS THE FAMILY FINANCIALLY, EVEN IF THE MAN IS FAITHFUL, DOES SHE HAVE THE RIGHT/FREEDOM TO CHEAT?

Mstick:

Really?! But women contribute financially to the day to day running of the family, in most cases even more. Is it not on this same nairaland that women get asked by men if they’re contributing to the family financially whenever they complain about their spouse?!


But if she leaves she will still get called a hoe who couldn’t help out her husband.

That is a distortion of gender roles started off ironically, by feminists. It was feminists who insisted on women entering the workplace and sharing the finances. I do not personally subscribe to feminist blurring of gender roles, hence these should not be used to debate my stand.

Instead of a woman helping out her husband financially, she should learn to be content with what he can comfortably provide. The main reason why double incomes families have become the norm is because the woman usually wants more than her husband can provide within his income, while the husband is often too weak to oppose that unsustainable lifestyle.

Kennedyiheme:
you probably missed the point.. the point is men dont get emotional attachment from sex.. it is more disastrous when a woman cheats because of sex than when a man does.. yall find it hard comprehending things on here

A man wouldnt get emotionally attached to a woman he had a one night stand with
A woman wouldnt get emotionally attached to a man she had a one night stand with
A man would get attached to a woman he is having an extramarital affair with
A woman would get attached to a man she is having an extramarital affair with.
Be specific

Davash222:
A man may be having side chick, but that won’t deter his love or feeling for his wife. But, once a woman starts cheating, she automatically hates the husband and can kill him.
Women attach too much emotions on sex, once your sex game is good, she loves you more than her husband.
No matter how good you are on bed or caring, a man can never love you more than his wife! You’re only a side-chick.

FACT!

Kennedyiheme:
you probably missed the point.. the point is men dont get emotional attachment from sex.. it is more disastrous when a woman cheats because of sex than when a man does.. yall find it hard comprehending things on here

My point is intact and not digressed.


I maintain that, cheating is both ways... And whatever makes a man to cheat and discontinue in a relationship is the same thing that will make a woman cheat and discontinue the relationship.


If it is disastrous for a woman to cheat, then, it's also disastrous for a man to cheat as the reason for cheating is always flimsy!!

RisenPhoenix:
A man having extra marital affairs is not actually cheating. The implicit agreement is that she reserves her body for him and he protects her and takes care of her financially. Cheating for her is when she shares her body with others and for him is when he refuses to fully protect and support her financially.

hmmmm! This is deep

ePoster:

Your earlier statement
...cheating for a man is when he refuses to fully protect and support his woman financially...
...cheating for a woman is when she shares her body with others...
Which agrees with the ops post that cheating is defined differently.
Your comment now contradicts your initial statement.
A man cheats also by having an extramarital affair. Not just the woman
But i support that the best approach to a cheating partner isnt retaliation. It cheapens the person rather.

AGAIN THOUGH, THAT WASNT HER QUESTION. IF A WOMAN SUPPORTS THE FAMILY FINANCIALLY, EVEN IF THE MAN IS FAITHFUL, DOES SHE HAVE THE RIGHT/FREEDOM TO CHEAT?

No. A man does not cheat by having an extramarital affair. Only a woman does. I don't believe that I made any statement that implied the contrary.

The woman providing the financial upkeep automatically implies that he is NOT faithful. Therefore, the question implies that if the man cheats (by leaving her to provide the finances), should she also cheat (by giving her body out to another). Obviously, the answer is no. One form of cheating does not justify the other.

Really?! So those women that have been selling in the markets since the beginning of times were told to by feminists?!

Did you type this comment with a straight face? Wow!!!! Seriously is it that most of you willingly decide to ignore the realities of this country just for online male validation?!


My great grandma who had no idea what feminism is all about heck when she saw me with a cellphone she was utterly shocked, went to the farm with her husband and still went to the market to sell.

RisenPhoenix:


That is a distortion of gender roles started off ironically, by feminists. It was feminists who insisted on women entering the workplace and sharing the finances. I do not personally subscribe to feminist blurring of gender roles, hence these should not be used to debate my stand.

Instead of a woman helping out her husband financially, she should learn to be content with what he can comfortably provide. The main reason why double incomes families have become the norm is because the woman usually wants more than her husband can provide within his income, while the husband is often too weak to oppose that unsustainable lifestyle.

RisenPhoenix:


That is a distortion of gender roles started off ironically, by feminists. It was feminists who insisted on women entering the workplace and sharing the finances. I do not personally subscribe to feminist blurring of gender roles, hence these should not be used to debate my stand.

Instead of a woman helping out her husband financially, she should learn to be content with what he can comfortably provide. The main reason why double incomes families have become the norm is because the woman usually wants more than her husband can provide within his income, while the husband is often too weak to oppose that unsustainable lifestyle.

Gender roles dont suit everyone.
Again, you havent answered her.
Both the man and woman support the familiy. Do they have the freedom to cheat on eachother?
Since that is the case now. Forget the past where your grandmother wasnt allowed to go to school unlike her brothers. Reply based on what is NOW happening.

Mstick:
Really?! So those women that have been selling in the markets since the beginning of times were told to by feminists?!

Did you type this comment with a straight face? Wow!!!! Seriously is it that most of you willingly decide to ignore the realities of this country just for online male validation?!


My great grandma who had no idea what feminism is all about heck when she saw me with a cellphone she was utterly shocked, went to the farm with her husband and still went to the market to sell.

Yes but your grandmother would have been shocked even more if she had been told that her husband was not the sole protector and provider for the home. Nor would your grandfather have expected her to finance any part of the home expenses. I am not against women working or selling market to indulge in their own extravagances or to while away time. I am against them being put in a position of responsibility for the direct home finances and being shamed if they do not contribute. That is entirely a feminist agenda; shaming sit-at-home women; which has unfortunately been taken up as a cultural construct especially in the Western parts of Nigeria, even by men.

yanabasee:



My point is intact and not digressed.


I maintain that, cheating is both ways... And whatever makes a man to cheat and discontinue in a relationship is the same thing that will make a woman cheat and discontinue the relationship.


If it is disastrous for a woman to cheat, then, it's also disastrous for a man to cheat as the reason for cheating is always flimsy!!

ok

ePoster:
A man wouldnt get emotionally attached to a woman he had a one night stand with
A woman wouldnt get emotionally attached to a man she had a one night stand with
A man would get attached to a woman he is having an extramarital affair with
A woman would get attached to a man she is having an extramarital affair with.
Be specific

we are done here

ePoster:

Gender roles dont suit everyone.
Again, you havent answered her.
Both the man and woman support the familiy. Do they have the freedom to cheat on eachother?
Since that is the case now. Forget the past where your grandmother wasnt allowed to go to school unlike her brothers. Reply based on what is NOW happening.

I have already answered her. Ask someone else to explain my answer to you if you still don't get it.

Risenpheonix
Thats your definition of cheating. Nearly every woman, from the poorest wallowing in acute poverty to odedola's daughter, dj cuppy would react in an unpleasant way to their man cheating and to his side chick. To them infidelity doesnt matter? You know little about women then.
But lets use your statement
The man protects and supports the family financially and he can only cheat when he fails to do the above.
The woman cheats when she has sex with another man.

Now my question....
If a man doesnt have a degree. Or recently lost his job, and his wife who is working takes over the finance, does she have the 'priviledge' to cheat? Or leave him? Because has you put it a man can only cheat when who doesnt take care of his woman financially. So if i cant do that, then...?
Isnt this the 'entitlement mentality' you all complain about?

RisenPhoenix:


I have already answered her. Ask someone else to explain my answer to you if you still don't get it.

i suggest you leave her alone.. feminists are unrepentant arrogant pricks... its a waste of time indulging them..

But, but the men are the ones shaming the stay at home mom. I’ve not seen any woman shaming housewives because that’s a WHOLE JOB on its own but you mean men feel once a woman isn’t contributing financially to the upkeep of the family then she has no right.

And no! No woman goes out from her home to sell in this dirty markets just to indulge her extravagances, heck most of you wouldn’t have seen the four walls of schools if your mothers didn’t step up.

RisenPhoenix:


Yes but your grandmother would have been shocked even more if she had been told that her husband was not the sole protector and provider for the home. Nor would your grandfather have expected her to finance any part of the home expenses. I am not against women working or selling market to indulge in their own extravagances or to while away time. I am against them being put in a position of responsibility for the direct home finances and being shamed if they do not contribute. That is entirely a feminist agenda; shaming sit-at-home women; which has unfortunately been taken up as a cultural construct especially in the Western parts of Nigeria, even by men.

Kennedyiheme:
i suggest you leave her alone.. feminists are unrepentant arrogant pricks... its a waste of time indulging them..

You create a controversial thread.
You insult those who state their opinion or who do not agree with you by tagging them as unrepentant, arrogant pricks
You took a passive discussion as a war and you are advising another who is simply trying to let us see things from his point of view to not waste time indulging us.

Obviously you dont want an interactive thread. Or you just want us to massage your ego.
Typical african man.

ePoster:
Risenpheonix
Thats your definition of cheating. Nearly every woman, from the poorest wallowing in acute poverty to odedola's daughter, dj cuppy would react in an unpleasant way to their man cheating and to his side chick. To them infidelity doesnt matter? You know little about women then.
But lets use your statement
The man protects and supports the family financially and he can only cheat when he fails to do the above.
The woman cheats when she has sex with another man.

Concepts are not subject to change in definition according to the whim of every Jane, Jill and Mary. Logic always prevails. When a marriage takes place, the marriage contract always has the implicit belief of protection and support from the man and sexual fidelity and biologically true children from the woman. This is why men are not seen as unfaithful when they practise polygamy, but women are. It is also why men are perceived as having betrayed their marriage if they fail to provide support for their family, but women aren't. In fact, most women will rather tolerate the man sleeping around than him failing to provide for the family, and most men would tolerate their wives being full housewives, but not wives who sleep around.

ePoster:

Now my question....
If a man doesnt have a degree. Or recently lost his job, and his wife who is working takes over the finance, does she have the 'priviledge' to cheat? Or leave him? Because has you put it a man can only cheat when who doesnt take care of his woman financially. So if i cant do that, then...?
Isnt this the 'entitlement mentality' you all complain about?

Like I said, I have answered that already.

RisenPhoenix:

Secondly, if she's the one taking care of the man financially, he's cheating her and she has a right to leave him, but not to cheat back on him.

Mstick:
But, but the men are the ones shaming the stay at home mom. I’ve not seen any woman shaming housewives because that’s a WHOLE JOB on its own but you mean men feel once a woman isn’t contributing financially to the upkeep of the family then she has no right.

And no! No woman goes out from her home to sell in this dirty markets just to indulge her extravagances, heck most of you wouldn’t have seen the four walls of schools if your mothers didn’t step up.

now thats a lie.. i watch alot of feminists videos, and also good morning brittain, there's alot of instances where feminists shame stay at home moms..

You guys just prove the need for feminism with every chauvinistic thread you create. To think that grownup men would read such a sexist writeup and nod in support is alarming. The worse is that when you want to engage them in a meaningful conversation, they call you "a stupid feminist".

Why is it always about men?

When a man cheats; don't worry, he still loves the wife. (how the wife feels doesn't count). When a woman cheats; ah! She'll kill the man (it's always about the man). How do you people even feel justifying cheating with such dumb excuses?

Tomorrow, you'll still insult the same women you cheat with for sleeping around. How brainless...

etrange:
You guys just prove the need for feminism with every chauvinistic thread you create. To think that grownup men would read such a sexist writeup and nod in support is alarming. The worse is that when you want to engage them in a meaningful conversation, they call you "a stupid feminist".

Why is it always about men?

When a man cheats; don't worry, he still loves the wife. (how the wife feels doesn't count). When a woman cheats; ah! She'll kill the man (it's always about the man). How do you people even feel justifying cheating with such dumb excuses?

Tomorrow, you'll still insult the same women you cheat with for sleeping around. How brainless...

its its reality

Mstick:
But, but the men are the ones shaming the stay at home mom. I’ve not seen any woman shaming housewives because that’s a WHOLE JOB on its own but you mean men feel once a woman isn’t contributing financially to the upkeep of the family then she has no right.

And no! No woman goes out from her home to sell in this dirty markets just to indulge her extravagances, heck most of you wouldn’t have seen the four walls of schools if your mothers didn’t step up.

I have requested that you do not debate me with what you think 'most men' think; especially when those thoughts are actually based on feminist theories.

And yes they do. Before the feminist uprising, most women worked only to pass away the time or to buy their own stuff. If a man took money from them, the women would always consider it a loan and demand that it be paid back.

My mother was a full housewife. My father paid all my school fees. And yes, maybe some did; feminist ideology started trickling down in the early 60s. Prior to that, if a man had no money to pay school fees, he would just carry his children to the farm. He would never have asked his wife(s) to pay instead.

I suggest you read some feminist publications if you want to present yourself as one. Housewives are routinely shamed by them. Gender role distortion is an avowed objective of the feminist movement.

Mstick:
My dear it’s funny how this “men” think they can keep eating their cakes and having it because they have a different sex organ.

[b]
After I spent over eight years in school [/b]then someone will come and tell me how I should act and feel because they’re “men”.

Please can you elaborate on that .... its like am hearing these for these.

Kennedyiheme:
you don't believe people have faults?..

Of course people have faults but if it took him 7 years to find out those faults then end the relationship with the lady after wasting her time then that's being cruel.

Which reasonable guy in Nigeria would want to marry a lady who was in a relationship for 7 years?!

Mstick:
My dear it’s funny how this “men” think they can keep eating their cakes and having it because they have a different sex organ.


After I spent over eight years in school then someone will come and tell me how I should act and feel because they’re “men”.

You must be a Dr or MSc degree holder

Kobicove:


Of course people have faults but if it took him 7 years to find out those faults then end the relationship with the lady after wasting her time then that's being cruel.

Which reasonable guy in Nigeria would want to marry a lady who was in a relationship for 7 years?!

you dont believe people change as time goes on?