₦airaland Forum

@ Op
It good you acknowledged your predicament.
But it should not bother you because you didn't commit any crime.

First since the arrangement with Lola was a mutual fucking arrangement with no provision attached to its. Then you have to stamp your feet over your decision. Don't allow her blackmail you. You can justify your action that you are sperm donor to a desperate evening newspaper.

But I will advice you call a meeting with your girlfriend to be and have a heart to heart conversation. With two options on the table.

Admit you have offended her. Then proceed to tell her any action she takes that you will not begrudge her. And make it clear to her you have nothing to do with the child because you have no interest.

Jeffmonti:
I told my girlfriend i want to move out, she nor gree o. She said she like the place and we will stay there until i complete my building which is still at the very early stages.

Baba the best option na to follow wetin that gee yan..shit dey sup..but we GATS flush am...the way and manner just manipulate your babe say you go move out...that baby mama and her conglomerate go cast your marriage for you oo. ... Baba if you go mistakenly yan your babe the matter now..you go regret am till you leave this world........ Good women scarce ohh

happinezz110:
Wat wld u do if u're in her shoe? how cn u allow urself to be tempted nd get carried away? Now d innocent blood is gonna pay for ur stupidity nd also ur faithful wife to be. Anyway go ahead nd tell her but believe me she's not gonna take it cos I won't too if I'm in her shoe bcoz once a cheater wld forever be a cheater, dat stupid Koji wey dey push u b4 don wear off now abi? u're comfortable having unprotected sex wit some else? I'm very sure u must hv infected her so many time but she tak care if it because she is a nurse. I just don't know what's wrong with our generation....too heartless

His biggest crime was having unprotected sex with a woman he is not legally married to.

When I was single, I and my friends lol were so scared of getting any lady pregnant that we sometimes tripled protection rain coat


Guys that do unprotected sex do try sha, I was very careful and fearful of unwanted pregnancy and infections.

I hated the idea of a lady I don't want to wife carrying my baby, mbanu, tufiakwa that is aru lol


Guys please always wear rain coat whenever you want to dive or go out on the rain, some rain can cause pneumonia no matter how much dry gin you drink after the rain beats you, wear your rain coat oh guys lol

Another midnight tell tales

It is quite a delicate matter I do advise guys to stay away from free p--sy .There is still no evidence that you own the child, you are just the one she think is more responsible.You might have to cough money out for DNA when the child comes out..The money you paid is just evidence, don't be surprise your conversation with the aunt and family members was recorded .I would just advise you to open up to your girlfriend.If she walks away then I am sorry your relationship is not deep, just take it in good faith . If she stays then find a way to ascertain the paternity of the kid via DNA

Jeffmonti:
I told my girlfriend i want to move out, she nor gree o. She said she like the place and we will stay there until i complete my building which is still at the very early stages.

U need mental therapy

Because you are a man, you find it less difficult say you don't care of the pregnancy, think of protecting your relationship with your girlfriend and continue living your life as if nothing had happened. Lola made the same mistake as you did yet she had bear all the burden; the burden of a ruined relationship, the burden of carrying a bearing and raring a child for an irresponsible man, the burden of a tarnished image and the like. You will know what's right to do when you put yourself in the position of the girl (Lola).

believe me if you tell her the truth as it is she will love you the more. take it from me. only a lady that dont know trust and love is will break up the relationship. a partner that loves u will tell u truth before hand to avoid a pit fall. if u know u know

Some people will just use their hand and start unnecessary problem and come to this forum and seek advice from people. It cost nothing to live a decent life. Bruv deal with your problem alone. 29yrs is old enough to be able to see problems and avoid it. But since only you use your clear eye open your pandora box, My G find way close am by yourself and let the rest of us go an find a way to unravel our own problem. Nonsense and gibberish

healthserve:
The Op doesn't understand women. Allow me say what many people won't see here nor understand cause they'll overlook it. The girl knew the Op had a relationship and knew it was a beautiful relationship. She had the sex all along your brother was thinking was free and out of altruistic ideals to kill his relationship/and to reduce the quality of his lovelife with his woman. She was deliverate from the get go who wanted to destroy another person's relationship because she was miserable. Women are their own worst enemies. I feel sorry for the Op causes it seems the secret is desperately trying to jump out of the bag

May God sfae us men from casual sex. Hardly a week goes by without girls offering assumably harmless sex to us . Fog how long shall we keep running. Tell me


Franchasng


Pansophist

Daddytime

Free sex can so put a man in trouble eh lol, it was free sex from ladies claiming to be super fans that put 2face and co in trouble lol


This op's case would have been my case some years back before I got married if not that mother nature catapulted me out of that sin city called Lagos abi Nigeria

Jeffmonti:
Omo nor vex, I have been thinking of doing this since, as i dey toilet dey burn my Steven Keshi i just say make i share get some advice and also make other learn from my life mistake.

Wetin dey ur belle
Who dey supply u weed
Anyway wetin concern me with wetin wey no concern me

chrisifeanyi:
You are not the owner of that child. Is the boyfriend. Remember this word when the child is born and you will conduct DNA test. Is not your child. Take care

Fvcking a lady 3 times a week and he is not the father.

Sigh...

eyinjuege:
You mean brohoes?

You got it right

franchasng:
Free sex can so put a man in trouble eh lol, it was free sex from ladies claiming to be super fans that put 2face and co in trouble lol


This op's would have been my case before I got married if not that mother nature catapulted me out of that sin city called Lagos abi Nigeria

Infact the free sex girls throw these days makes me scared of not going out easily .. cause towtow just set seriously available thesedays

Tell your fiance because if you no tell am na belle wey go dey worry u for years wey no fit turn pikin you go dey carry upandan and las las you go get broken marriage.SO TELL AM NW MAKE YOU KNOW WETIN GO SIZE YOU.

happinezz110:
Wat wld u do if u're in her shoe? how cn u allow urself to be tempted nd get carried away? Now d innocent blood is gonna pay for ur stupidity nd also ur faithful wife to be. Anyway go ahead nd tell her but believe me she's not gonna take it cos I won't too if I'm in her shoe bcoz once a cheater wld forever be a cheater, dat stupid Koji wey dey push u b4 don wear off now abi? u're comfortable having unprotected sex wit some else? I'm very sure u must hv infected her so many time but she tak care if it because she is a nurse. I just don't know what's wrong with our generation....too heartless

Let me tell you this for free

There are only two kinds of men that won't cheat on their wives

1. Very principled men. These men are too goal oriented, too intelligent, too immersed in their work or goal. Men in this category are Barrack Obama, Albert Einstein, Chinua Achebe.

2. Men filled with the holy spirit. Many Pastor's fall in this category. Men like Daddy Adeboye, Pastor Bamiloye, and the Olukoya's of this world.

Any man that is not in the category of these 2, will definitely cheat notwithstanding his status, looks or any other variable that pertains to this discuss.



Choose carefully.

Don't ask me which of the group I find myself because I'm still on my journey of self discovery.

Just forget about the lol, don't even tell your fiancée because is going to backfire. If u have the money relocate and change your line. I once had similar case but thank God am free, she might find out in future but them the gravity is low. I mean on your girlfriend side when u people marry.

Jeffmonti:
About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help!

This might turn out to be a lengthy read, please bear with me. The bashing and insults will be unnecessary as i have already told myself hurtful things a thousand times over.

So i am 29 and have a girlfriend who’s 25 we are both graduates; she’s a nurse and i am a practicing engineer and we’ve been dating for 3+ years now and preparations are underway to tie the knot this year God willing. Something happened last year, she suggested i move to a bigger apartment so that we can start buying household items and everything necessary to start a home as we are looking to get married soon which we did; i got a bigger place, met her parents she met mine. In a nutshell everything seems to be going well, we even started a business together and set to take on the future together before the devil struck (i take blames for my actions as i am not overly religious)

Around June last year, i met a girl (very fine girl) in the new area i moved to, although i have been seeing the girl around but one day as i was driving in i saw her hiding somewhere close to my compound avoiding the rain with her friends so i took them in until the rain subsided we exchanged contacts and started texting on WhatsApp a few days later. And soon after we started having sex (protected sex), prior to that time i never cheated on my girlfriend.

The sex continued, up to 2 times a week sometimes 3 as it was relatively easy as she lived very close and my girlfriend only visits on the weekend and never sleeps out (she’s from a very good and wealthy family with proper moral upbringing). Most evenings when return from work conji just do me one kind i don cross street other times she calls until we became comfortable having unprotected sex

So late October 2019, the new girl (I’ll call her Lola) texted me that’s she’s not feeling too well and i asked her to visit the hospital to run a test to know what to treat. She came back with a pregnancy test result proving she’s already 3 weeks pregnant, i was sure it was mine but i didn’t panic as she had a bf and i have my gf we were just for the sex at least that’s what we told each other.

So i asked her to remove the pregnancy, but got the shocker when she said she’s never going to remove the pregnancy that she’s 27 and have no desire to marry me or stay with me but she’s going to have the child. Omo my heart flipped. I begged her for like 3 weeks until she got mad and stopped taking my calls, she even moved away from her apartment. So i texted her and arranged a meeting, we sat down and discussed at length but she was still bent on keeping it, i got furious and told her i am not ready to be part of the child’s life if she’s going through with it as i see no reason why she wants to have my child when she knows we are NEVER going to be together, that was when she said she had already told her family that i am not interested in the child and they support her to keep it and let the child bear their family name. I discussed the matter with two friends a boy and a girl and the asked me to let her have the child first.

One month passed fast forward to early December, Lola called 6 times i was so shocked. I couldn’t take her calls. She texted that she’s ready to terminate the pregnancy since i am wicked and unconcerned she rained all manner of derogatory words but i was only concern with her decision to let go. I called and we agreed to meet the following day, I skipped work that day and met with her and her elder sister and elder sister’s friend. The sister and her friend were so mean but i was unmoved; i don already fuckup and ready to take anything to let it all go away because the knowledge of things will destroy my girlfriend.

So Lola entered my vehicle and we drove out, on our way to the hospital for her to terminate the pregnancy plus treatment she’ll take afterwards and for the damages i have caused her. She’s going to need 150k from me, i was furious and told her i don’t have that kind of money talk less of handing it over to her for something like this (i sure don’t know what i cost but i know it’s not up to 50k). She said if i don’t give her what she want she’s going to have the baby and that i should be thankful that she’s coming up with this that if she had listen to her friends advices she would have moved to my house with all sort of troubles (she was right) but i didn’t give in just yet. I dropped her off and ask her to have the child that am not going to give her the money as i don’t have it (I get the money sha).

So two days passed, she called again and after many arguments we agreed at 100k, made her to sign a NDA not to bother me again and all, I transferred her the 100k that night, she confirmed receipt and promised to go with it the following morning and that was the last I have heard or seen or her since then, until 3 weeks ago when another of her sister called from Canada and was asking if i am Me, that she’s been seeking my contact for a while now that Lola friend had to steal the number Lola’s phone and pass it to her as Lola has been hiding my phone number from the rest of the family and she doesn’t know the arrangement i have had with her but i should know that she’s having the child, she just thought i should know that i have a child somewhere when the baby eventually drops.

Knowing fully well that i am a shitty person to have done something terrible to myself and my girlfriend and all our future plans because of cheap sex, but I’ll be a more terribly bad person to have knowledge of a child somewhere and not be in his/her life. I called Lola but she didn’t take i texted her about her sisters call she called back to know who called and was furious, she ended the call (I guess to call her sister back) and called back again in about 20mins and asked me not to ever call her line again. I replied her text she should tell her family not call me as well. I have dodged to her apartment building a coupe times but she’s not been around for weeks as i was made to believe.

So i bought a ring to engage my girl few weeks ago but had to hold first to see how things play out, i can’t go ahead and marry my girlfriend with this kind of secret untold; that will be wickedness from the pit of hell and i still don’t know how to break it to her, it will destroy her.

I jokingly painted a similar scenery to my girlfriend; her response was: she will not marry me because if she does she will kill me in my sleep. That everybody is expecting us to get married this year, she now have high respect from her family because of me and this kind of thing happens both of us will die. Omo fear catch me.

Fellow Nairalanders, this is my predicament please advice a stupid brother. Insults are welcome as I hope to pick a thing or two from your comments. MODs please push this up biko.

I wouldn't blame or castigate you for anything, we all go adventurous and might make mistakes but please find a way to open up to your girlfriend, I can assure you'd regret it if you don't tell her now, better you tell her and end the relationship if she ain't game than keep this humongous secret.

Let me share a true story, exactly the same thing happening to you occurred to a friend of mine, he hid it and years later the wife found out, it turned out to be his principal source of pain and sorrow in life, I currently don't know how things panned out but last time we spoke over a drink, he was the most miserable man I knew on earth at that particular moment, sadly with all the money he and his wife had!

Most intriguing was the fact that his wife said, had he told him beforehand, she would have accepted the fate and still married him because she loved him unconditionally but unfortunately he threw all that away to the wind because of fear or whatever reason. My point @OP, please and please, tell your girlfriend the truth!!! Que sera, sera!

Guy, Lola is not pregnant
When last did you set your eyes on her?

If truly she's pregnant ehn, go ahead and tell your girlfriend what happened and let's hear what your babe will say
Anything she says, please come back to tell us so we can give more advice

THUMBS UP DUDE

1. Take responsibility for your action
2. Know that you can’t cover such secret for long.
3. The consequence of action is bearable,so face it.
4. Be a man and face the consequence of action.
5. At the end,na peace of mind sure pass.

Cheap sex can destroy u forever. People need to think of the aftermath of every action in life. Cheap sex just landed an officer of d law enforcement agency in serious trouble

sanmtiago:
Some people will just use their hand and start unnecessary problem and come to this forum and seek advice from people. It cost nothing to live a decent life. Bruv deal with your problem alone. 29yrs is old enough to be able to see problems and avoid it. But since only you use your clear eye open your pandora box, My G find way close am by yourself and let the rest of us go an find a way to unravel our own problem. Nonsense and gibberish

You think its easy to be financially successful as a young man and be able to run away completely from shooting dangerous shots once in a while If you think so, then wait until you see some change in your pocket lol



The only thing is, guys should make it a habit to always wear a rain coat whenever they want to dive into any river be it stream, tributaries or ocean lol


Preaching abstinence to a young, successful single man is a waste of time, only God's special grace can stop him lol

Many very good advises posted. Op must come clean and break up with so-called girl that threatened his life, and prepare for fatherhood after the DNA test.
Kudos to all the mature responses. clap for yourselves.

This is what fornication can cause. Moral lesson of the story: Avoid Premarital Sex.

Fake story

Jeffmonti:
About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help!

This might turn out to be a lengthy read, please bear with me. The bashing and insults will be unnecessary as i have already told myself hurtful things a thousand times over.

So i am 29 and have a girlfriend who’s 25 we are both graduates; she’s a nurse and i am a practicing engineer and we’ve been dating for 3+ years now and preparations are underway to tie the knot this year God willing. Something happened last year, she suggested i move to a bigger apartment so that we can start buying household items and everything necessary to start a home as we are looking to get married soon which we did; i got a bigger place, met her parents she met mine. In a nutshell everything seems to be going well, we even started a business together and set to take on the future together before the devil struck (i take blames for my actions as i am not overly religious)

Around June last year, i met a girl (very fine girl) in the new area i moved to, although i have been seeing the girl around but one day as i was driving in i saw her hiding somewhere close to my compound avoiding the rain with her friends so i took them in until the rain subsided we exchanged contacts and started texting on WhatsApp a few days later. And soon after we started having sex (protected sex), prior to that time i never cheated on my girlfriend.

The sex continued, up to 2 times a week sometimes 3 as it was relatively easy as she lived very close and my girlfriend only visits on the weekend and never sleeps out (she’s from a very good and wealthy family with proper moral upbringing). Most evenings when return from work conji just do me one kind i don cross street other times she calls until we became comfortable having unprotected sex

So late October 2019, the new girl (I’ll call her Lola) texted me that’s she’s not feeling too well and i asked her to visit the hospital to run a test to know what to treat. She came back with a pregnancy test result proving she’s already 3 weeks pregnant, i was sure it was mine but i didn’t panic as she had a bf and i have my gf we were just for the sex at least that’s what we told each other.

So i asked her to remove the pregnancy, but got the shocker when she said she’s never going to remove the pregnancy that she’s 27 and have no desire to marry me or stay with me but she’s going to have the child. Omo my heart flipped. I begged her for like 3 weeks until she got mad and stopped taking my calls, she even moved away from her apartment. So i texted her and arranged a meeting, we sat down and discussed at length but she was still bent on keeping it, i got furious and told her i am not ready to be part of the child’s life if she’s going through with it as i see no reason why she wants to have my child when she knows we are NEVER going to be together, that was when she said she had already told her family that i am not interested in the child and they support her to keep it and let the child bear their family name. I discussed the matter with two friends a boy and a girl and the asked me to let her have the child first.

One month passed fast forward to early December, Lola called 6 times i was so shocked. I couldn’t take her calls. She texted that she’s ready to terminate the pregnancy since i am wicked and unconcerned she rained all manner of derogatory words but i was only concern with her decision to let go. I called and we agreed to meet the following day, I skipped work that day and met with her and her elder sister and elder sister’s friend. The sister and her friend were so mean but i was unmoved; i don already fuckup and ready to take anything to let it all go away because the knowledge of things will destroy my girlfriend.

So Lola entered my vehicle and we drove out, on our way to the hospital for her to terminate the pregnancy plus treatment she’ll take afterwards and for the damages i have caused her. She’s going to need 150k from me, i was furious and told her i don’t have that kind of money talk less of handing it over to her for something like this (i sure don’t know what i cost but i know it’s not up to 50k). She said if i don’t give her what she want she’s going to have the baby and that i should be thankful that she’s coming up with this that if she had listen to her friends advices she would have moved to my house with all sort of troubles (she was right) but i didn’t give in just yet. I dropped her off and ask her to have the child that am not going to give her the money as i don’t have it (I get the money sha).

So two days passed, she called again and after many arguments we agreed at 100k, made her to sign a NDA not to bother me again and all, I transferred her the 100k that night, she confirmed receipt and promised to go with it the following morning and that was the last I have heard or seen or her since then, until 3 weeks ago when another of her sister called from Canada and was asking if i am Me, that she’s been seeking my contact for a while now that Lola friend had to steal the number Lola’s phone and pass it to her as Lola has been hiding my phone number from the rest of the family and she doesn’t know the arrangement i have had with her but i should know that she’s having the child, she just thought i should know that i have a child somewhere when the baby eventually drops.

Knowing fully well that i am a shitty person to have done something terrible to myself and my girlfriend and all our future plans because of cheap sex, but I’ll be a more terribly bad person to have knowledge of a child somewhere and not be in his/her life. I called Lola but she didn’t take i texted her about her sisters call she called back to know who called and was furious, she ended the call (I guess to call her sister back) and called back again in about 20mins and asked me not to ever call her line again. I replied her text she should tell her family not call me as well. I have dodged to her apartment building a coupe times but she’s not been around for weeks as i was made to believe.

So i bought a ring to engage my girl few weeks ago but had to hold first to see how things play out, i can’t go ahead and marry my girlfriend with this kind of secret untold; that will be wickedness from the pit of hell and i still don’t know how to break it to her, it will destroy her.

I jokingly painted a similar scenery to my girlfriend; her response was: she will not marry me because if she does she will kill me in my sleep. That everybody is expecting us to get married this year, she now have high respect from her family because of me and this kind of thing happens both of us will die. Omo fear catch me.

Fellow Nairalanders, this is my predicament please advice a stupid brother. Insults are welcome as I hope to pick a thing or two from your comments. MODs please push this up biko.

I think your fuckmate Lola is just bluffing...
Maybe she needs some quick money and just want to blackmail you with the old dead cum you planted in her... You should use your brain to think of the next thing to do . ...

If you don't tell the truth you will forever live in the fear of getting stabbed by your wife if you guys eventually get married. Be wise!

as in you fvck someone's gf? how will you feel when you girl is fvck in that manners?


you had unprotected sex with her and you Dont foreseen trouble ? like are you a comedian or an actor ?


the only thing you can do now is to slow down any marriage plan with your girl and make sure you followed up that Lola pregnancy. find out if she's indeed pregnant/if you're the one/ if she had abort it. I repeat Dont rush marriage things with yr gf now until you make sure you sort Lola out


if eventually you found Lola didn't abort and you own the pregnancy, my guy you've to tell that your gf but you might lose her, I think that's still safe than she killing you in your sleep lol


but Dont tell your girl yet, exhaust your follow up with Lola first

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBFCY2kc09s