₦airaland Forum

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

I Dont Knw U From Adam But Bkiaful What U Say .. Karma Always A Bitch And I'm Very Disappointed In Ur Comment

Truthwillout:
By the way, we never operated a joint account. I do not have a parcel of land anywhere. All these were written to embellish the truth.

If what you say is true and the man in question is your husband, you are sleeping with the enemy.
Start looking out for yourself.

eyinjuege:
If what you say is true and the man in question is your husband, you are sleeping with the enemy.
Start looking out for yourself.

exactly.

Please @LordKo i sent you an email.

[b][/b]@LordKo i sent you an email, please would you be kind enough to reply me.

LordKO:
If you're a Mech. Engr. with at least 2 years previous work experience in the petroleum industry, send me a PM immediately.

As for your wife and her recent attitude, it's obvious that you've been living with a frenemy all this while. Only few men are lucky, and can be lucky, to marry virtuous/submissive women. Since she's of the small-minded stock, you've to master the art of treating small-minded people and mete out same to her - if you aren't small-minded like her too.

richie240:
Lolz......
Even d 'strungup' dude dt has bn stringing u gyes upandan all along has confessed/come out clean, but u r still here beating ur skinny chest?

Even if God comes down himself to say it was a lie, people like Kennedyiheme will still stick to the initial story because it puts women in the bad light that appeals more to him than women being good.

It takes a noble person to admit that he was wrong. But to save face, most guys here will stubbornly stick to what they want to believe.

Dehindepgenius:
I am almost completely sure you are not giving us the full picture. It would be really interesting to hear your wife's version of this story. As human beings, we tend to tell stories in a way that favors us and make us garner pity. If your wife is the breadwinner at the moment, she deserves your loyalty, respect and understanding. Taking care of the financial responsibilities of a home is not easy. You plan, you worry, you get afraid, you have sleepless nights...especially if your spouse does not pitch in.
Here's what happens. When a man loses his source of livelihood, every little move by a woman suddenly becomes emaaculating. The woman is already under a terrible strain and you are here to barmouth her to strangers.

I frankly do not believe you are doing enough. Factories abound, uber is there, the keke business is there, even uneducated teenagers from the north are hustling and making a good living riding bikes.

Yea, sometimes a man experiences setbacks, my dad did. The true measure of manhood lies in dusting yourself off the ground and trying again. These days sadly, there are too many lazy men who whine instead of actually being men. If you are here bad mouthing your wife, then I'm willing to bet, you do it everywhere. My cousin went through this. Everybody called her wicked. The husband's elder brother was like come and stay with me and I'll fix you up with something. They no tell the brother. Las Las he chases the man out of his home and told everyone to ignore the man because he is lazy. All he does is play video games and sleep.

Society is particularly unfair to women. A quick look through this site will convince any unbiased person of that. You already have men pitying you and condemning your wife which is exactly what you wanted. Oga poster, you came here seeking pity, looking for people to condemn your wife and soothe your ego and you already have faceless strangers doing that, but the truth is you are failing as a husband and a father. These people cheering you on and telling you your wife is wicked are in their ow homes hustling and taking care of their business.

I am a man like you and I will not lie to you. You are your own problem. Take these steps.

1. First of all, love and appreciate your wife. Thank her for all she does.

2. Pray hard and ask God to show you why you are experiencing hard luck. Folks here might not tell you the truth, but you may have a character flaw that is working against you. You may actually be lazy, most lazy people won't admit it. It may also be karma. You may have treated others, including your wife badly in the past hence the problems. Yes, it happens. Find out what the problem is and fix it.

3. Hustle, hustle, hustle! I don't believe in excuses. Real men don't. Meanwhile, what do you do? You can mail me your cv at dehindep@gmail.com.

Your comment was about the wisest on this thread...being unbiased and objective and you are a man!

Most men here are so eager to believe the worst of women and they will rather die before than retract their false statements even in the face of truth.

That's how you know the difference between a man and a boy.

We really need more objective and mature minded men on this forum to block out those angry kids who don't know more than to castigate women.

ImaIma1:
Even if God comes down himself to say it was a lie, people like Kennedyiheme will still stick to the initial story because it puts women in the bad light that appeals more to him than women being good.

It takes a noble person to admit that he was wrong. But to save face, most guys here will stubbornly stick to what they want to believe.

really now, I've seen alot to know when you give a woman power she gets intoxicated

Kennedyiheme:
really now, I've seen alot to know when you give a woman power she gets intoxicated

You have only seen the bad ones and are judging based on your own experiences. Would it be impossible for you to see that there are actually good women?

You should know that some people only have good experiences with women and would argue your stance out with you and you would be at opposite ends.

What I am trying to say is that, it is better to be objective and unbiased so that we don't jump into conclusions and judge people unfairly because we have preconceived notions that impair our judgement.

I have had quite a number of bad experiences with Nigerian men. But I still have an open mind because it would be a fallacy for me to judge everyone based on my experiences and those around me.

ImaIma1:
Even if God comes down himself to say it was a lie, people like Kennedyiheme will still stick to the initial story because it puts women in the bad light that appeals more to him than women being good.

It takes a noble person to admit that he was wrong. But to save face, most guys here will stubbornly stick to what they want to believe.

Lolz.

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

You need deliverance and that's one of the reason why you're yet to a responsible man as yours. If he's your blood bro, would you allow such to happen to him.
I pray and hope you receive sense soon.

You are just like my wife. If marriage is about control, why marry? Why not stay on your own? Making money is not about hustling, if it was i'd be earning over three times what my wife earns. Luck, favour also plays a role. Maybe God just wants to show me who I married.

Don't mind her, she passed through higher institution but the institution didn't pass through her.
Something is spinning hard in her head.

ImaIma1:
You have only seen the bad ones and are judging based on your own experiences. Would it be impossible for you to see that there are actually good women?

You should know that some people only have good experiences with women and would argue your stance out with you and you would be at opposite ends.

What I am trying to say is that, it is better to be objective and unbiased so that we don't jump into conclusions and judge people unfairly because we have preconceived notions that impair our judgement.

I have had quite a number of bad experiences with Nigerian men. But I still have an open mind because it would be a fallacy for me to judge everyone based on my experiences and those around me.

maybe you're right. But in this generation and age the good ones are kess than 20% .. i wouldn't take that risk

Kennedyiheme:
maybe you're right. But in this generation and age the good ones are kess than 20% .. i wouldn't take that risk

And you'll keep meeting the bad ones because that is what you expect and choose to believe.

ImaIma1:
And you'll keep meeting the bad ones because that is what you expect and choose to believe.

i don't even try to establish any relationship.. haven't done that sinve 2015

Kennedyiheme:
i don't even try to establish any relationship.. haven't done that sinve 2015

So you have talked to and related with only guys since 2015?

ImaIma1:
So you have talked to and related with only guys since 2015?

obviously i have related with women, but not in a relationship or lovey lovey p

Kennedyiheme:
obviously i have related with women, but not in a relationship or lovey lovey p

If in all these years, the ladies you have related with or been in a relationship with are all the way you say, then I think you might be the problem. You are a magnet to their kind

ImaIma1:
If in all these years, the ladies you have related with or been in a relationship with are all the way you say, then I think you might be the problem. You are a magnet to their kind

do you relate with only men you intend to be cozy or romantic with?.. the women i relate with are just friends or we have some business to do together.. hows that a problem I'm not interested in sparking a romantic affair with them?

bigpicture001:
Womem.dont desearve anything good..dey are so annoying

Incel spotted.

Martinez39:
Michellekabod2, Ubunja and Co. Was this not what we were discussing? Give a man power, money, and make him the bread winner, his family will benefit from him. Give a woman money, power, and make her the bread winner, her husband will see hell. OP needs to take the red-pill.

Even though the man is at home, his wife has turned turned the kids against him in the cruel and petty game of power dynamics. And many girls had the dishonesty to attack me when I created THIS TOPIC and they acted like parental alienation is not really a thing to worry about and the father should "just spend some time with the kid". Here is a man who is present in his home and yet the kid has turned against him (a case similar to that of emmaodet). Never underestimate the power of brain washing and the wickedness and brutal nature of women. Women are not fair players.

Indeed, Ilekokonit was right in THIS TOPIC OF HIS. Also the arguments and contributions made by ubunja and myself are valid. A family is supposed to work as a unit but the woman purchased properties without the man's knowledge, turned the kids against him, and disrespects him yet folks like funmisticqueen (whose personality is as ugly as she looks) turned this on the man insinuating that the man must have been cruel to his wife in the past. The op opened a joint account with his wife but now, the wife has gotten a secret account.

Any man that remains oblivious to female nature will suffer and get burnt.

Another incel spotted.

otipoju:
Stop making careless comments.
If it was the days when i was adventurous , i will patiently seduce you and mess up heart and your mind and turn you into a nervous wreck with this careless statement.

You have never been married and you have no clue what he is experiencing.

Brave of you to assume shed be attracted to you. Its always the ogres bragging.

SmithRussell:
Shut up yhu dumbskull.. A man who has money can be controlled by his wife or parents or siblings or friends... On the other hand, a woman with cash can't be controlled by anyone,, just that for her kids' sake she can only be constrained , somehow..

Women have poor insights and are generally narrow-minded.. They don't believe in future, they don't remember the past..

That's why a man is needed to control his woman, for she can't control herself

Ewwww. The dumb mindset your fathers gave you. If you really want to control something, get a pet. So toxic.

Michellekabod2:
Funmisticqueen is pro-woman so don't expect an objective response from her,it is always the woman right and men wrong....
He ran the house when he was more financially stable and they lived in tranquility and now its her turn and there is more or less chaos.
There is nothing wrong in a woman leading the house, neither is any thing wrong in a man leading.
Leadership and enslaving/controlling are two different things. Leadership is more like a two people owning a car, one of them taking the drivers seat to drive whilst the other holds a map and directs, it must not be a tussle to hold the wheel. A woman or man can lead,or both can lead themselves(depending the agreement of the couple). What matters is the outcome of your leadership. There is nothing wrong in taking a turn in leadership when one partner is down in whatever. For example if the lady is the leader and she puts to birth,whilst lactating the man takes the role of the leader or if the man falls sick and he is the leader,the lady will assume the role of the leader.
What impact to you make to the marriage when its you turn? Not everyone can handle power in their hands,some use it to avenge their perceived enemies.
An irresponsible man shouldn't lead,same with an irresponsible woman. It is obvious his leadership did less harm than good whilst hers did much havoc. For heaven sake turning the kids against the father and involving the family into their marital home?
If I were the Op I will walk away from the marriage .

@Op don't listen to the pro-man advice on this forum to punish or become vile to her or paint all women as beasts. And also don't listen to the pro-woman advice that will still paint you night black and her a saint because of the preconceived nature of men being beasts.
Don't expect an objective advice from a forum filled with gender based advisers.

I personally advice he walks away and if there is any woman in this same issue who at the loss of fortune suffers from her husband, she should walk away.

The only comment that makes sense.

seanwilliam:
One of the reasons I'm glued to nairaland is that you are opened to different point of views, when you thought you've seen it all, another brilliant contribution will emerge. I am not married yet and not even close to it in 5 years, but I will use the parents as case study.... this is not being misogynistic, or trying to bad mouth ladies, but that is how it is no matter how u want to twist the story to suit your perception. My dad practically took care of over 90% of OUR needs at home but When he lost his job and my mum assumed the bread winner role, hahaha, the hell let loose... if she did anything( financial contribution especially)she would make sure everyone see that she was the one.. though she did well for the first six months oo.. I'm the last born and all my brothers are married and not leaving with us, but my daddy eyes see shege.. it got to stage where i almost turned my back against my dad cos of my mama emotional blasphemy.. but when I got to school and see life outside I began to retrace my step and started settling the difference between us and dad.. all this period, my dad never leave my mum( she go dey indirectly tell him to go find work say we are tired, this na man wey be say na him dey take care of us WELLWELL I mean WELL WELL wen he get better job oo).. later sha, one of old friends that my dad helped during is picking time, saw my dad where he always go to read new paper with him friends ( my dad has passed 50 years of age, so you cant be expecting him to do anyhow job just to fend for us).. he showed my dad some stuffs and the old man begin dey pick back.. na this time I know the different between commanding respect and demanding respect.. though my brothers are trying In taking care of our parents but my dad still insist that he prefers making his own money till he dies.. that A MAN WITH RESPECT WOULD MAKE his own money and not wait for people to give him.. that in as much as he is still able to work, that he would never loose guard... my mum is a loving and supporting mother , no doubt, but when my dad had a downturn in fortune, and my mother assumed his role ( na just for little period of time oo)sincerely, we feel am for house. And this is a marriage of over 40 years oo. . one thing I learnt from my dad is his resilient nature... so all what I'm saying is women cant handle power without punching the man.. no matter how u want to twist it, that is the fact..
My advice to you sir are;
1. Pick urself up
2. Be resilient
3. Play reverse psychology on her
4. Move out of the house for the moment
5.Dont even try to have heart to heart talk with her cos the bitter truth is that he no go work..
6. Try your hand on new jobs( some people have suggested that on this thread)
7. Live below your means
8. Pray
9. Ignore her for a while
10. Be optimistic
Never worry about your kiddos she turned against u, when you get back on your feet, they would all naturally retract their steps.

When u finally pick( which I am sure) do the following
1. Never leave above your means
2. Dont ever think or try to satisfy women because you CANT
3 focus more on your kids
4. Dont leave prayer
5. Get more source of income
6. Save
7. Invest
8. Reduce your commitment to her
9. Make sure you dont go broke again
10. Remember 7 days make a week , 7 days without making money makes man weak, so MAKE MONEY EVERYday no matter how small..
I'm still a kid, but that is my little contribution..
Cc strungup79, martinez39,harddon, ubunja, make una come help this man out oo

Its the "head of the house" mentality. Nigerians need to start seeing marriage more like a partnership, than a boss-employeee relationship. By the time the boss can no longer pay, you expect the employee to respect him/her? If from the start the two of you do things together, it won't be such a big deal when one person falls.

Ilekokonit:
Ephesians 5:22-24 King James Version (KJV)

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in EVERY THING
.

Why do you people like control so much? So disgusting.

Ivebeenbanned:
Brave of you to assume shed be attracted to you. Its always the ogres bragging.

When did you crawl out of your cave.

Ivebeenbanned:
Its the "head of the house" mentality. Nigerians need to start seeing marriage more like a partnership, than a boss-employeee relationship. By the time the boss can no longer pay, you expect the employee to respect him/her? If from the start the two of you do things together, it won't be such a big deal when one person falls.

it is not following that same traditions that is causing a lot of problems these days

Kennedyiheme:
do you relate with only men you intend to be cozy or romantic with?.. the women i relate with are just friends or we have some business to do together.. hows that a problem I'm not interested in sparking a romantic affair with them?

When you slander Nigerian ladies, you put us all into one box of conclusion. Even if you have dated up to 100 of them, it's still not enough to draw a conclusion.

But I understand that there's a bandwagon of women-haters and bashers who would never see the good in a woman, no matter what. It's just a mindset/mentality. They cannot see past negativity. And you are nicely tucked-in in this bandwagon. .

In this particular story, if it was the woman who came out with a sob story, you guys would have asked to hear from the guy...that she's not telling the whole truth, she must have done something wrong...typical average Nairaland guy mentality.

But it was a guy's sob story and you guys swallowed it hook line and sinker. No questions asked. Women are evil...this and that. Same guy comes out and says he embellished his story and guess what!! My Nairaland guys are still adamant, because that is how much they hate women.

And because their ego and pride won't allow them accept that they got it wrong this time. Why? Because it won't validate their claims about all the trash they spewed about women. And it's hard for all the hatred and bitterness towards women to evaporate just like that.

But don't worry. You guys will all be fine laslas .

Ivebeenbanned:
Ewwww. The dumb mindset your fathers gave you. If you really want to control something, get a pet. So toxic.

I'll get you banned again.. That's all

SmithRussell:
I'll get you banned again.. That's all

Ooooh. I'm scared.