₦airaland Forum

PregnantlySingu:
My faince's ex said over her dead body will I get married to him, but I didn't even take that seriously . Fiance had a crash on his way to our introduction leaving me pregnant and alone. Beside myself in grief. Don't know if I should abort or leave it be so as to give it out to a good childless couple.

Deep

My roommate for school was a cult guy from Ijebu Igbo....he almost put me for troubles

GOVERNMENTBOY20:
Last year I had to put up in a face me I slap you , I had a neighbor who was a Tiler. When everyone has gone to work in the morning, the guy will come back home.

You think there is no big deal in coming back home to rest right? But on the contrary, he comes home to take his bath, this time with a ritual soap in a small calabash.

The motherfvcker had a certain incantation that he recite to collect people's glory in the compound. How did I get to know?

There was a day I came back home for a quick match with a neighborhood tailor. We had set staffing time for 10:30am. I had to come back home early with food and drinks I have arranged. The chick showed up and when we were through around 12pm, she went to use the bathroom... But came back to inform me someone was in the general bathroom saying incantations and mentioning names...
Whose name?

We went back together and I heard motherfvcker saying the soap should bring him the blessing meant for Kabiru the mechanic, Mukaila vulcanizer, Chukudi spare part seller, Tunde the painter... I already pulled out my phone and was recording everything the nigga was saying till he mentioned Adigun the Barber... Omo naa so I burst into the bathroom with towel wrapped around my slim waist ...

Blessing wey never dey enough for me before this dude want 2 collect it before e reach me. no wonder I have been unable to pay my complete rent for over two years and running



Don't just like the post oo. Epp my life please... I am a very good writer as better job never dey... Anything for your boy acct numb

His rituals are working because you fornicated and still fornicating.

superlanny:
I remember one time, wey papa Johnny, dey always threaten me with rent money, na so I corner, chioma him daughter, as per correct gee na, chioma enjoy the gala Wella.
Upon papa chioma's discovery of my prolific and reckless abandonment in smashing of chioma's kpekus, he threatened me with with fire and brimstone, but as strong gee wey get Jesus for back, I relax my mind.
Every night as I dey sleep, I dey use one eye sleep, one eye dey watch, papa chioma.
Naso one day I forget say I no feed, my stupid dog named cownu, as I wake up for morning, na so I see cownu dey chop the sacrifice wey papa chioma, put for my dommot.
I swear cownu enjoy the sacrifice die, correct akara and pap, with plenty oil.
For my mind, I just say, "na thunder go fire this man"
I must still fire chioma.

Igbos no dey do eboo

superlanny:
I remember one time, wey papa Johnny, dey always threaten me with rent money, na so I corner, chioma him daughter, as per correct gee na, chioma enjoy the gala Wella.
Upon papa chioma's discovery of my prolific and reckless abandonment in smashing of chioma's kpekus, he threatened me with with fire and brimstone, but as strong gee wey get Jesus for back, I relax my mind.
Every night as I dey sleep, I dey use one eye sleep, one eye dey watch, papa chioma.
Naso one day I forget say I no feed, my stupid dog named cownu, as I wake up for morning, na so I see cownu dey chop the sacrifice wey papa chioma, put for my dommot.
I swear cownu enjoy the sacrifice die, correct akara and pap, with plenty oil.
For my mind, I just say, "na thunder go fire this man"
I must still fire chioma.

Like Jamaicans will say, fikshan!

Interesting thread. I go cool down read am from page to page...very busy at the moment.

NwaAmaikpe:



Okay I'd share a bit.

An Igbira lady I always shagged would wear a waist bead just before I insert my dogo in her so that she won't get pregnant.
She said it was a traditional contraceptive that ties up the mouth of the womb.
She never got pregnant for me despite overflooding her cervix with my cum.

There was this Etsako woman who was cheating on her husband with me. After shagging her, she'd look for a goat to jump over.
She said it broke whatever ill luck her cheating will cause her husband and her kids.
This man became far more successful after I started sleeping with his wife.

There was this married muslim Bini woman who got pregnant for me when her husband was away from town.
She said she will stop shagging me from her 2nd trimester and only shag her husband.
She said constantly shagging her husband will make the unborn baby look like him.
Guess what, the baby was a replica of him.

I once had an affair with Asaba woman who lived close to the market.
Each time I visited carrying goodies in both hands. She won't welcome me unless I drop them or carry both on one hand.

Finally
There was this Catholic nun who was a Mother Superior I was shagging.
She will insist I do the sign of the cross before taking off her undies.
To this day I'd never understand why.

But the greatest of them all is my own superstition.
Each time I have unprotected sex with a lady whom I wouldn't want to get pregnant for me, I simply tie up the blade of a grass and it works better than Postinor for me.

Also, after shagging a married woman. I always recite Galatians 3:13 that says that "Christ has fromredeemed me from the curse of the law".

I don't know about you, but superstitions work because "onye kwe, Chi ya e kwe".

If what you're saying is true, you're what the people of the SW would call 'Oloo orun '

FatherBona:
Don't get me started.............
My Landlord is a Bishop of The BCS. He's got properties all over town, enough to make a billionaire jealous. This nigga is a stark illiterate
Source of wealth? He sells yam at the timber market yea right
My stories will fill up the pages of a dictionary and will surely win an Oscar for best script if adapted into a movie.
I've seen it all, from red and white handkerchiefs, burning of red and black candles at unholy hours of the night, prayer band gathering by midnight, singing and dancing round the compound barefoot, wearing white garments, clandestine meetings, and other unexplained occurrences. He has banned all manner of church activities and prayers in the compound except its organised by the BCS. Need I go on?! Killing of snakes, and the appearances of owls and other strange creatures is the order of the day and he has placed an order never to harm this creatures, it could be an apparition from their leader or so he believes.
God is my only hope.
Can't wait to leave these place

Olumba people.. Height of WITCHCRAFT

Slawormir:
Damnnnnn niggarrr

As a real niggarrr
I don't associate with such people
And i don't believe in such things

Ever been told that real niggardly have shallow minds?

AlhajiImam:
The jinns are still powerful and existent but with our daily prayers to Allah he will help us to conquer and over come them Insha Allah.

I pity the infidels

Bros, the first sign that a religious person like you show that he has evil spirits controlling him is when he calls others infidel.
Guess what? Sanctimonious p.ricks like you have a wide array of demons controlling them such hate, pride, arrogance, murder, sexual immorality, and the list continues.

You self righteous thing.

NwaAmaikpe:



Okay I'd share a bit.

An Igbira lady I always shagged would wear a waist bead just before I insert my dogo in her so that she won't get pregnant.
She said it was a traditional contraceptive that ties up the mouth of the womb.
She never got pregnant for me despite overflooding her cervix with my cum.

There was this Etsako woman who was cheating on her husband with me. After shagging her, she'd look for a goat to jump over.
She said it broke whatever ill luck her cheating will cause her husband and her kids.
This man became far more successful after I started sleeping with his wife.

There was this married muslim Bini woman who got pregnant for me when her husband was away from town.
She said she will stop shagging me from her 2nd trimester and only shag her husband.
She said constantly shagging her husband will make the unborn baby look like him.
Guess what, the baby was a replica of him.

I once had an affair with Asaba woman who lived close to the market.
Each time I visited carrying goodies in both hands. She won't welcome me unless I drop them or carry both on one hand.

Finally
There was this Catholic nun who was a Mother Superior I was shagging.
She will insist I do the sign of the cross before taking off her undies.
To this day I'd never understand why.

But the greatest of them all is my own superstition.
Each time I have unprotected sex with a lady whom I wouldn't want to get pregnant for me, I simply tie up the blade of a grass and it works better than Postinor for me.

Also, after shagging a married woman. I always recite Galatians 3:13 that says that "Christ has redeemed me from the curse of the law".

I don't know about you, but superstitions work because "onye kwe, Chi ya e kwe".

This wasn't a bit, it's more than!

legba1:
I remembered living with an old friend whose mum was a super jaz woman....the mum go just land Saturdays like that for our door mouth and give the guy soaps and all sort to baf with......

You cant imagine what I went through living in the same apartment with this guy.....it was a 2bedroom house where we share convenience. Ultimately his activities turned me to an early bather as I strive to bathe before him everyday.......the mum na white church garment prophetess.....The guy later travel to yankee and return to pick mama for holiday....funny side is mama refuse to return to naija and shes now stucked over there

She has been liberated......who no like better thing.

zimdante:
My neighbour na ogbonge witch , after my 5 hours morning devotion every morning, she no dey gree see my face, na so she go run enter house like tom and Jerry jam door gboza!.

She Neva see anything, this year she must pack without quit notice.

Five hours early devotion?

Don't u go to work?

[quote author=Roon9

I just waved it off but somehow I stopped leaving my stuffs outside. Exactly 2 weeks later a girl in that lodge offhandedly asked me why I no longer put my shoes outside?


Make I remove my own...

GOVERNMENTBOY20:
Last year I had to put up in a face me I slap you , I had a neighbor who was a Tiler. When everyone has gone...
Chukudi spare part seller, Tunde the painter... I already pulled out my phone and was recording everything the nigga was saying till he mentioned Adigun the Barber... Omo naa so I burst into the bathroom with towel wrapped around my slim waist [/b]...

Blessing wey never dey enough for me before this dude want 2 collect it before e reach me. no wonder I have been unable to pay my complete rent for over two years and running

Funny motherfucker u r.
Go into comedy writing

Back then in Secondary school in Lagos, my school was close to the High Court in Igbosere in Lagos. Litigants who had court cases usually dropped sacrifices at the T-junction just beside the Court. Goat head, pap, boiled eggs, palm oil, etc.

While going home, it was my practice to kick the calabashes of sacrifice and pour it on the floor. In fact, one of my crazy classmates usually picked the boiled eggs from the calabashes, rinsed and ate them.

Till today, people still drop sacrifices at that same spot.

Auntyesther:
This thread go long and sweet... lemme collect space

You too dey like to collect space. The other one wey u collect never do you?

Where are my igala soursage people?

Good morning everybody, i'm in need of your help financialy, my little girl is very sick and in need of urgent medical attention, I've not been paid where i work.
Please help me.
2211909589 ZENITH.

During 2015 election, I was a serving Corp member.
We were drafted to be the head of every polling station then, on the eve of the d day, my close best friend fearing for me and himself that election arenas can turn out bloody and we needed a form of spiritual protection. He gave me alligator pepper to chew and used razor blade to make some marks on my body, hands and feet for protection against knife and gun. I still miss those days, I wish time can be reversed so that I can correct somethings that I did wrong.

Danisaint112:
So after all these story you mean you are still in this place. Hmm I am beginning to fear your fear. You better jakpa when you have the chance to you don't know if they would request for one of his tenant this time.

Na funds be my issue o

ikorodureporta:
i don experience where somebody dey always cut our slippers edge..u go just see v- shape, & we never caught the person.
if u just leave yr slippers outside then, dem don cut the edge

Hope ona pray seriously about am?, which kind devilish act be that