₦airaland Forum

I love the picture where the man carried his wife and family at his back.

Authoreety:
Women should be submissive and respect the man that asked them to come share his stuffs with him.


Only a stupidly foolish idiot would abuse a submissive and respectful woman.

Shut the Bleep up, Pete Edichie.

asahnwaKC:
Olden days teaching......there's no theory or rules in relationships or marriage....what works for mr a might not work for be... .....

Like!!! What the Bleep is this whole thread?

Very good points but there's no need for a man to be godly to be a good husband...

O ma gosh

Ivebeenbanned:
Shut the Bleep up, Pete Edichie.

Are you on heat? Bingo!!

OP you are a man. I so much enjoy your writeup.

TonyeBarcanista:
By TonyeBarcanista

One of the major problems bedevilling the society is the collapse of relationships, courtships, marriages and family system. Although people in these failed relationships do credit their partners as those responsible for the collapse, but I believe that most marital relationship collapse due to the failure of men to be men! Being a man comes with some burden of responsibilities that nature in her wisdom has placed on male folks. The way and manner men, as family heads, realise and discharge these responsibilities will ultimately determine the fate of the relationship/marriage, and the beginning of this start at the foundation of the relationship. To have successful relationship, men should note the following;
www.nairaland.com/attachments/11069090_screenshot20200218100636_jpeg7a530d83c6c693aac2c03ac64b679497

Starting A Relationship:
Before starting a relationship, it is expected of the man to determine his life's vision, as well as and his expectations from himself first and his would-be partner. He has to also determines physical and non physical features of his would-be partner in terms of beauty, physique, character, medical, ethnicity, faith, age, education, ideology, etc. Every man must determine his according to his heart desire and must not be coerced or bullied by societal or peers narratives to accept any standard other than his.

The next stage is to approach/woo only ladies that appeals to them and also pass character test according to their expectations. The character of a would-be partner is the very key as it determines the happiness or otherwise of the budding relationship/marriage/family. This is one step that no man can afford to gamble with. The ideological, faith, medical, and others must not be gambled with. The truth about relationship is that good character is not enough qualification for a man to decide to settle with a woman. A woman's ideology, perspective towards life, family, genotype, faith, culture, tradition, family, sex and other sociocultural issues goes a long way to determine her compatibility or otherwise with the man. For instance, a man that believes in the traditional hierarchial headship of a husband has no business getting married to a woman that doesn't hold such ideology sacred. Partners with fundamental ideologies different from each other have no business marrying each other. Doing so will only be laying foundation for an inevitable doom era. May I emphasize that NO MAN should relegate his ideology in order to accommodate any woman for any reason.

Set Ground Rules And Stick To It
Every man should lay basic ground rule governing the relationship from the onset and ensure strict compliance. One important area that should not be overlooked is the subject of privacy. There is no privacy between a pair as long as relationship is concerned. Each should have unrestricted access to the other, including knowing passwords of phones; it is not a sign of insecurity contrary to what society would want to make one belief, it is simply a testament of oneness. As a man, any woman that doesn't believe in "No Privacy" relationship is most likely hiding something from you and should be a no-no.

Post-Proposal/Marriage Stage
With all the aforesaid in check and confirmed, men in relationship should proceed to take only women that match their criteria and meet their respective physical, character, ideological and other fundamental requirements to the "village" and altar, and do the needful. The purpose of courtship is not just for "free sex", it is a platform for would-be couple to confirm compatibility.

Once married, men should be prepared for greater task as family head, and ensure he leads by example, while their partner (and kids) also live by the family standard. Men shouldn't be slow to assert authority, appropriate sanctions and discipline on whoever that derails from the path, including himself.

Some Key Responsibilities And Expectations For Men
Having established the above, a man must recognise that as the hierarchical head and burden bearer of the relationship and marriage, he is saddled with greater responsibilities and expectations than his partner and/or any other member of the household.
[img]https://tenntuxx.files./2018/09/blackmanfamily.jpg[/img]

Some key responsibilities/Expectations include;

Fairness: Being head of family doesn't mean the man is a higher human to the wife or the children. It only put him at the top of authority within the family. He must be fair in his dealings with his wife at all times, knowing that he is accountable to God and nature. In fact, a man that isn't fair in his dealings will never know peace in the home.

Leadership: As a man, you can't flout rules and regulations and expect the woman to abide by it. It doesn't work that way! Leadership is by example, and men who aren't living exemplary lose every moral justification to address err by his woman or even his children.

Independent Mind: A man should have an independent mind that is not influenced by peers or societal narratives. He must realise that issues that concern relationship and home affairs are unique and he doesn't need popular opinion of relatives and strangers (on and off social media) before taking decision.

Openness To Ideas; Although a man is expected to possess independent mind, he is bound to open his mind to opinion and ideas of his woman on virtually all issues without having an impressionist mind. Though a man is the head and final authority, he is not omniscient. He may not even be the most knowledgeable between the pair. Even if he is the most knowledgeable, he may not be the most knowledgeable on the issue in question. Also, there is a wise saying that no idea is a waste, this applies to relationship. His final decision must be in the overall interest of the union irrespective of whether it comes from him or his wife.

NB: Without prejudice, a man must insist on decisions and actions that he is of a strong conviction that is of the benefit of the union/family even if his partner insists otherwise. But he should be prepared for the consequences should the action/decision yield unfavourable outcome.

Responsibility: A man must be first be responsible to himself and the woman in his life. A responsible man is one that knows his onion and live a life worthy of emulation. An irresponsible man cannot lead a woman not to talk of family.

Accountable: Although his woman is accountable to him in all things, the man is expected to first account to himself and the woman in his life. That way he shows a pathway for the woman to follow.

NB: A woman that is not prepared to be accountable to the man is a no-no irrespective of other factors.

Financial Stability: While no one expect a man to be very wealthy or live in affluence before meeting a woman, it is expected that he should at least have source of livelihood that to be able to cater for his needs and that of his partner/family. Any man that is yet to have good source of livelihood should suspend the idea of marriage altogether until he is ready. It is not a crime to be broke, but it is a sin for a grownup man without anything doing to be talking of relationship and marriage. The reason is simple, the woman is not meant to take care of financial any burden! It is the man's responsibility to cater for the woman and the home while the woman gives helping hand. I repeat, the woman is meant to give helping/supporting hand and not to inherit the main burden.

Chief Planner: The man in the relationship is chiefly responsible for making short and long term plans to ensure that his relationship and home doesn't suffer; and ensure that he sticks to it. This is very important as those who fail to plan end up losing it. Although a woman is expected to partner her man, it is still the man's responsibility to ensure things work as the Planner in Chief.

Physical/Mental/Emotional
/Sexual Fitness: Every man should always take priority of physical, mental and sexual fitness. A man who is weak physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually is not appealing to a woman. In fact, no woman wants, deserves nor desires one who is physically weak, emotional wimp, mental retard and one who cannot perform sexually (not saying men should start using drugs). Men that fall short in these areas will have serious problem in their relationship/family. It is the duty of the man to work on his weaknesses!

Discipline: A man should discipline himself as by doing this he creates precedent for his partner and children to follow. No man should tolerate or forgive indiscipline in his home, not from himself, his woman/wife/girlfriend or children. Discipline is one of the way of expressing love.

Godfearing And Godly: All said, this is the most important. Any man that fears God will love and honor His Words, and will want to live godly life; and thereby be the best man any family would have. By this I don't mean outward religiosity (like many) or mere churchgoer, but for one to have reverence towards God Almighty and to follow His word.

Finally, marriage is not a bed of roses but it is a union ordained by God meant for human pleasure and not for humans to endure. But it is the duty of the man to seek and insist on woman that meets his desires and matches his expectations to have his dream home.

May God Bless Us All...

Stop seeing marriage as a Boss-employee relationship but rather as two friends...PARTNERS that chose each other. Women don't need leadership, keep thinking like this your marriages will keep ending.

Ivebeenbanned:
[s]Like!!! What the Bleep is this whole thread[/s]?

You should have simply ignored!! Ediota!!

Ok

Ivebeenbanned:
[s]Stop seeing marriage as a Boss-employee relationship but rather as two friends...PARTNERS that chose each other. Women don't need leadership, keep thinking like this your marriages will keep ending[/s].

Bullocks!!!

TonyeBarcanista:
By TonyeBarcanista

One of the major problems bedevilling the society is the collapse of relationships, courtships, marriages and family system. Although people in these failed relationships do credit their partners as those responsible for the collapse, but I believe that most marital relationship collapse due to the failure of men to be men! Being a man comes with some burden of responsibilities that nature in her wisdom has placed on male folks. The way and manner men, as family heads, realise and discharge these responsibilities will ultimately determine the fate of the relationship/marriage, and the beginning of this start at the foundation of the relationship. To have successful relationship, men should note the following;
www.nairaland.com/attachments/11069090_screenshot20200218100636_jpeg7a530d83c6c693aac2c03ac64b679497

Starting A Relationship:
Before starting a relationship, it is expected of the man to determine his life's vision, as well as and his expectations from himself first and his would-be partner. He has to also determines physical and non physical features of his would-be partner in terms of beauty, physique, character, medical, ethnicity, faith, age, education, ideology, etc. Every man must determine his according to his heart desire and must not be coerced or bullied by societal or peers narratives to accept any standard other than his.

The next stage is to approach/woo only ladies that appeals to them and also pass character test according to their expectations. The character of a would-be partner is the very key as it determines the happiness or otherwise of the budding relationship/marriage/family. This is one step that no man can afford to gamble with. The ideological, faith, medical, and others must not be gambled with. The truth about relationship is that good character is not enough qualification for a man to decide to settle with a woman. A woman's ideology, perspective towards life, family, genotype, faith, culture, tradition, family, sex and other sociocultural issues goes a long way to determine her compatibility or otherwise with the man. For instance, a man that believes in the traditional hierarchial headship of a husband has no business getting married to a woman that doesn't hold such ideology sacred. Partners with fundamental ideologies different from each other have no business marrying each other. Doing so will only be laying foundation for an inevitable doom era. May I emphasize that NO MAN should relegate his ideology in order to accommodate any woman for any reason.

Set Ground Rules And Stick To It
Every man should lay basic ground rule governing the relationship from the onset and ensure strict compliance. One important area that should not be overlooked is the subject of privacy. There is no privacy between a pair as long as relationship is concerned. Each should have unrestricted access to the other, including knowing passwords of phones; it is not a sign of insecurity contrary to what society would want to make one belief, it is simply a testament of oneness. As a man, any woman that doesn't believe in "No Privacy" relationship is most likely hiding something from you and should be a no-no.

Post-Proposal/Marriage Stage
With all the aforesaid in check and confirmed, men in relationship should proceed to take only women that match their criteria and meet their respective physical, character, ideological and other fundamental requirements to the "village" and altar, and do the needful. The purpose of courtship is not just for "free sex", it is a platform for would-be couple to confirm compatibility.

Once married, men should be prepared for greater task as family head, and ensure he leads by example, while their partner (and kids) also live by the family standard. Men shouldn't be slow to assert authority, appropriate sanctions and discipline on whoever that derails from the path, including himself.

Some Key Responsibilities And Expectations For Men
Having established the above, a man must recognise that as the hierarchical head and burden bearer of the relationship and marriage, he is saddled with greater responsibilities and expectations than his partner and/or any other member of the household.
[img]https://tenntuxx.files./2018/09/blackmanfamily.jpg[/img]

Some key responsibilities/Expectations include;

Fairness: Being head of family doesn't mean the man is a higher human to the wife or the children. It only put him at the top of authority within the family. He must be fair in his dealings with his wife at all times, knowing that he is accountable to God and nature. In fact, a man that isn't fair in his dealings will never know peace in the home.

Leadership: As a man, you can't flout rules and regulations and expect the woman to abide by it. It doesn't work that way! Leadership is by example, and men who aren't living exemplary lose every moral justification to address err by his woman or even his children.

Independent Mind: A man should have an independent mind that is not influenced by peers or societal narratives. He must realise that issues that concern relationship and home affairs are unique and he doesn't need popular opinion of relatives and strangers (on and off social media) before taking decision.

Openness To Ideas; Although a man is expected to possess independent mind, he is bound to open his mind to opinion and ideas of his woman on virtually all issues without having an impressionist mind. Though a man is the head and final authority, he is not omniscient. He may not even be the most knowledgeable between the pair. Even if he is the most knowledgeable, he may not be the most knowledgeable on the issue in question. Also, there is a wise saying that no idea is a waste, this applies to relationship. His final decision must be in the overall interest of the union irrespective of whether it comes from him or his wife.

NB: Without prejudice, a man must insist on decisions and actions that he is of a strong conviction that is of the benefit of the union/family even if his partner insists otherwise. But he should be prepared for the consequences should the action/decision yield unfavourable outcome.

Responsibility: A man must be first be responsible to himself and the woman in his life. A responsible man is one that knows his onion and live a life worthy of emulation. An irresponsible man cannot lead a woman not to talk of family.

Accountable: Although his woman is accountable to him in all things, the man is expected to first account to himself and the woman in his life. That way he shows a pathway for the woman to follow.

NB: A woman that is not prepared to be accountable to the man is a no-no irrespective of other factors.

Financial Stability: While no one expect a man to be very wealthy or live in affluence before meeting a woman, it is expected that he should at least have source of livelihood that to be able to cater for his needs and that of his partner/family. Any man that is yet to have good source of livelihood should suspend the idea of marriage altogether until he is ready. It is not a crime to be broke, but it is a sin for a grownup man without anything doing to be talking of relationship and marriage. The reason is simple, the woman is not meant to take care of financial any burden! It is the man's responsibility to cater for the woman and the home while the woman gives helping hand. I repeat, the woman is meant to give helping/supporting hand and not to inherit the main burden.

Chief Planner: The man in the relationship is chiefly responsible for making short and long term plans to ensure that his relationship and home doesn't suffer; and ensure that he sticks to it. This is very important as those who fail to plan end up losing it. Although a woman is expected to partner her man, it is still the man's responsibility to ensure things work as the Planner in Chief.

Physical/Mental/Emotional
/Sexual Fitness: Every man should always take priority of physical, mental and sexual fitness. A man who is weak physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually is not appealing to a woman. In fact, no woman wants, deserves nor desires one who is physically weak, emotional wimp, mental retard and one who cannot perform sexually (not saying men should start using drugs). Men that fall short in these areas will have serious problem in their relationship/family. It is the duty of the man to work on his weaknesses!

Discipline: A man should discipline himself as by doing this he creates precedent for his partner and children to follow. No man should tolerate or forgive indiscipline in his home, not from himself, his woman/wife/girlfriend or children. Discipline is one of the way of expressing love.

Godfearing And Godly: All said, this is the most important. Any man that fears God will love and honor His Words, and will want to live godly life; and thereby be the best man any family would have. By this I don't mean outward religiosity (like many) or mere churchgoer, but for one to have reverence towards God Almighty and to follow His word.

Finally, marriage is not a bed of roses but it is a union ordained by God meant for human pleasure and not for humans to endure. But it is the duty of the man to seek and insist on woman that meets his desires and matches his expectations to have his dream home.

May God Bless Us All...

Nice write up.

LET THE COUPLES LEARN ON THE JOB.

philip0906:
You should have simply ignored!! Ediota!!

Like the way you ignored a reply that wasn't for you. Olodo.

philip0906:
Bullocks!!!

Your mama a Bullock.

There is a need. A man that is not godly cannot be trusted.

Judybash93:
Very good points but there's no need for a man to be godly to be a good husband...

Ivebeenbanned:
[s]Like the way you ignored a reply that wasn't for you. Olodo[/s].

Ignore the thread and take your greasy, senile block head outta here!! The thread is not for women who have lost it all. Bingo!!

TonyeBarcanista:
By TonyeBarcanista

One of the major problems bedevilling the society is the collapse of relationships, courtships, marriages and family system. Although people in these failed relationships do credit their partners as those responsible for the collapse, but I believe that most marital relationship collapse due to the failure of men to be men! Being a man comes with some burden of responsibilities that nature in her wisdom has placed on male folks. The way and manner men, as family heads, realise and discharge these responsibilities will ultimately determine the fate of the relationship/marriage, and the beginning of this start at the foundation of the relationship. To have successful relationship, men should note the following;
www.nairaland.com/attachments/11069090_screenshot20200218100636_jpeg7a530d83c6c693aac2c03ac64b679497

Starting A Relationship:
Before starting a relationship, it is expected of the man to determine his life's vision, as well as and his expectations from himself first and his would-be partner. He has to also determines physical and non physical features of his would-be partner in terms of beauty, physique, character, medical, ethnicity, faith, age, education, ideology, etc. Every man must determine his according to his heart desire and must not be coerced or bullied by societal or peers narratives to accept any standard other than his.

The next stage is to approach/woo only ladies that appeals to them and also pass character test according to their expectations. The character of a would-be partner is the very key as it determines the happiness or otherwise of the budding relationship/marriage/family. This is one step that no man can afford to gamble with. The ideological, faith, medical, and others must not be gambled with. The truth about relationship is that good character is not enough qualification for a man to decide to settle with a woman. A woman's ideology, perspective towards life, family, genotype, faith, culture, tradition, family, sex and other sociocultural issues goes a long way to determine her compatibility or otherwise with the man. For instance, a man that believes in the traditional hierarchial headship of a husband has no business getting married to a woman that doesn't hold such ideology sacred. Partners with fundamental ideologies different from each other have no business marrying each other. Doing so will only be laying foundation for an inevitable doom era. May I emphasize that NO MAN should relegate his ideology in order to accommodate any woman for any reason.

Set Ground Rules And Stick To It
Every man should lay basic ground rule governing the relationship from the onset and ensure strict compliance. One important area that should not be overlooked is the subject of privacy. There is no privacy between a pair as long as relationship is concerned. Each should have unrestricted access to the other, including knowing passwords of phones; it is not a sign of insecurity contrary to what society would want to make one belief, it is simply a testament of oneness. As a man, any woman that doesn't believe in "No Privacy" relationship is most likely hiding something from you and should be a no-no.

Post-Proposal/Marriage Stage
With all the aforesaid in check and confirmed, men in relationship should proceed to take only women that match their criteria and meet their respective physical, character, ideological and other fundamental requirements to the "village" and altar, and do the needful. The purpose of courtship is not just for "free sex", it is a platform for would-be couple to confirm compatibility.

Once married, men should be prepared for greater task as family head, and ensure he leads by example, while their partner (and kids) also live by the family standard. Men shouldn't be slow to assert authority, appropriate sanctions and discipline on whoever that derails from the path, including himself.

Some Key Responsibilities And Expectations For Men
Having established the above, a man must recognise that as the hierarchical head and burden bearer of the relationship and marriage, he is saddled with greater responsibilities and expectations than his partner and/or any other member of the household.
[img]https://tenntuxx.files./2018/09/blackmanfamily.jpg[/img]

Some key responsibilities/Expectations include;

Fairness: Being head of family doesn't mean the man is a higher human to the wife or the children. It only put him at the top of authority within the family. He must be fair in his dealings with his wife at all times, knowing that he is accountable to God and nature. In fact, a man that isn't fair in his dealings will never know peace in the home.

Leadership: As a man, you can't flout rules and regulations and expect the woman to abide by it. It doesn't work that way! Leadership is by example, and men who aren't living exemplary lose every moral justification to address err by his woman or even his children.

Independent Mind: A man should have an independent mind that is not influenced by peers or societal narratives. He must realise that issues that concern relationship and home affairs are unique and he doesn't need popular opinion of relatives and strangers (on and off social media) before taking decision.

Openness To Ideas; Although a man is expected to possess independent mind, he is bound to open his mind to opinion and ideas of his woman on virtually all issues without having an impressionist mind. Though a man is the head and final authority, he is not omniscient. He may not even be the most knowledgeable between the pair. Even if he is the most knowledgeable, he may not be the most knowledgeable on the issue in question. Also, there is a wise saying that no idea is a waste, this applies to relationship. His final decision must be in the overall interest of the union irrespective of whether it comes from him or his wife.

NB: Without prejudice, a man must insist on decisions and actions that he is of a strong conviction that is of the benefit of the union/family even if his partner insists otherwise. But he should be prepared for the consequences should the action/decision yield unfavourable outcome.

Responsibility: A man must be first be responsible to himself and the woman in his life. A responsible man is one that knows his onion and live a life worthy of emulation. An irresponsible man cannot lead a woman not to talk of family.

Accountable: Although his woman is accountable to him in all things, the man is expected to first account to himself and the woman in his life. That way he shows a pathway for the woman to follow.

NB: A woman that is not prepared to be accountable to the man is a no-no irrespective of other factors.

Financial Stability: While no one expect a man to be very wealthy or live in affluence before meeting a woman, it is expected that he should at least have source of livelihood that to be able to cater for his needs and that of his partner/family. Any man that is yet to have good source of livelihood should suspend the idea of marriage altogether until he is ready. It is not a crime to be broke, but it is a sin for a grownup man without anything doing to be talking of relationship and marriage. The reason is simple, the woman is not meant to take care of financial any burden! It is the man's responsibility to cater for the woman and the home while the woman gives helping hand. I repeat, the woman is meant to give helping/supporting hand and not to inherit the main burden.

Chief Planner: The man in the relationship is chiefly responsible for making short and long term plans to ensure that his relationship and home doesn't suffer; and ensure that he sticks to it. This is very important as those who fail to plan end up losing it. Although a woman is expected to partner her man, it is still the man's responsibility to ensure things work as the Planner in Chief.

Physical/Mental/Emotional
/Sexual Fitness: Every man should always take priority of physical, mental and sexual fitness. A man who is weak physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually is not appealing to a woman. In fact, no woman wants, deserves nor desires one who is physically weak, emotional wimp, mental retard and one who cannot perform sexually (not saying men should start using drugs). Men that fall short in these areas will have serious problem in their relationship/family. It is the duty of the man to work on his weaknesses!

Discipline: A man should discipline himself as by doing this he creates precedent for his partner and children to follow. No man should tolerate or forgive indiscipline in his home, not from himself, his woman/wife/girlfriend or children. Discipline is one of the way of expressing love.

Godfearing And Godly: All said, this is the most important. Any man that fears God will love and honor His Words, and will want to live godly life; and thereby be the best man any family would have. By this I don't mean outward religiosity (like many) or mere churchgoer, but for one to have reverence towards God Almighty and to follow His word.

Finally, marriage is not a bed of roses but it is a union ordained by God meant for human pleasure and not for humans to endure. But it is the duty of the man to seek and insist on woman that meets his desires and matches his expectations to have his dream home.

May God Bless Us All...

thanks for the post

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just maturity and patience

Ivebeenbanned:
Your mama a Bullock.

You twitter, wailing, lonely feminist!! Such a harmless thread, you're already lamenting and wailing!! Ediota!!

Midas01:
There is a need. A man that is not godly cannot be trusted.

How?
By the way, do you mean religious?

solite3:
Nice one Tonye and to add everyman must submit to Christ as his head by obeying his word then your life will be protected and live in peace.

So without submitting to Christ, I won't be protected or probably I won't live in peace??

TonyeBarcanista:
I don't think the article is too long

i hope this is write up belongs to you 100%... very apt and on point... my problem now is how to enforce it...any clique on that ??

Insightful !
Thanks !!!

Judybash93:
Very good points but there's no need for a man to be godly to be a good husband...

By godly I don't mean being spirikoko or a religious freak. A man that isn't godly will never be a good human not to talk of good husband

TonyeBarcanista:
I don't think the article is too long

lol...well compressed for we the lazy Nigeria youth(yoot)

seanwilliam:
i hope this is write up belongs to you 100%... very apt and on point... my problem now is how to enforce it...any clique on that ??

I don't steal people's work. Everything is 100% and I spent 12+ hours writing it.


On enforcing it, very easy if you are determined never to be swayed by popular opinion or societal narratives

Nice one

TonyeBarcanista:
By godly I don't mean being spirikoko or a religious freak. A man that isn't godly will never be a good human not to talk of good husband

So, to be a good human equals being godly?

Nice write up except the privacy thing. I need my space.

philip0906:
You twitter, wailing, lonely feminist!! Such a harmless thread, you're already lamenting and wailing!! Ediota!!

Pained much? I know you're just another incel begging for female attention. Why else did you reply all my comments? I understand. Hope your finger deek has risen up now that I've replied you. Cry somewhere else I didn't break your heart. OLODO.

blackjack21:
Pardon, isn't relationship and marriage a personal matter? advising people on it is a personal matter too.

I once took my laptop for repair to a man who by all indications look like a repair, and he gave me a good deal too, it was too late when I discovered that he actually specialised on radio and television repair not computers.
A painful lesson, but learn it did I.

So forgive me, when I take give repair jobs or, in this case, take advice I like to ascertain how qualified the person giving the advice is.

Damn! That is a long write up you have

Married or not, we can't deny that OP's writeup is the truth.

From what you wrote, are you saying if Op isn't married then you won't heed to what he said?

If that is the case, I will deduce that you will only take advice from one who is married and if he says "beat your wife because I do it. Now my wife respects me more and my marriage is happier for it"
You will gladly do it because he is married and knows better?