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I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by ebonge1: 10:03pm On Feb 21, 2020
A
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Davepal: 10:04pm On Feb 21, 2020
Ask your father very well. Which clan does she come from ? If you guys are of the same clan, then it's advisable not to marry her.

Every community in Igbo land has a clan. A community might be up to 4 to 5 clans, more or less. Clan is a lineage of the same family spread within villages of the same community.

I had similar experience, but i was discourage by the girl's mother.

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Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Namdeenero(m): 10:05pm On Feb 21, 2020
It will end in tears

8 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by bishop4life(m): 10:05pm On Feb 21, 2020
MorataFC:
even if that tradition is against God?

Which God?
Whatever you bind on earth is bound in heaven.
Do not be deceived, "You are gods". Those are exerpts from the Bible.
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by solsticey2k3(m): 10:05pm On Feb 21, 2020
My brother, seek the intervention of the most High God so He can direct you accordingly

2 Likes

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Amanda4life: 10:06pm On Feb 21, 2020
Mandem12:
I had to open a new account for this, pardon me for Punctuation errors. I have to go straight to the point so as not to bore you... My story goes thus

I'm a young man of 25. I met this very beautiful girl, aged 23 now, we've dated 4 years now. She's so humble, the love grew out of nowhere. She does everything a woman would do for a man and I do everything a man will do for a woman.

I found myself not doing anything without her and she cannot do anything without involving me, we actually love each other very much.

She started pestering me to have a blood oath with her because she was scared I would leave her. I laughed it off cos I knew I wouldn't cheat on her, she is everything I wanted in a woman.

Trouble started when I brought her home to meet my parents, I was actually happy that I had found my wife...

When she left, my father asked me where she was from, and I told him and my father told me I can't marry her because she was from the same village with me and thereby related by blood thereby marrying her is an abomination that she was my sister so to say and said our kinsmen would not be Involved if I insist on marrying her... I felt my world crumbling down like a pack of cards...

I told my girl and she was like, it's an old tradition and nobody will dictate to her who she would marry and she loves me and there was no going back...

As a man, I thought about it and wanted to let her go because I wouldn't want the stigma to be on us and my unborn kids... I showed her some attitude to make her hate me but she didn't, rather she would rather beg me not to leave her even when I'm at fault. I feel bad anytime I do anything to hurt her feelings...

Now, I actually want to get her pregnant and damn the consequences, do a court wedding if the need arises and relocate with her out from our state and start a new life elsewhere...

Another mind is telling me to let her go so we can move on with our lives, or even be a fugitive for her... I however know she will hurt herself if I leave her... I'm very confused about everything, I seriously need help... Why is Igbo tradition this way? I found love with this girl, now everything is about to be stripped away from me, just like that... I seriously need an advice please...

I love this girl so much and she make me happy


Please move this to front page so I can hear from others please...




Oga please don't go against tradition. just as your father said both of you are like blood relation. Please don't marry her

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by oshiiteoku: 10:06pm On Feb 21, 2020
Pls let her go,she won't die,time heals every wound,dont do something that will make you an object of discussion and jest forever in your town,both of you will eventually resent each other,the consequences are too numerous please for the sake of your unborn children,let her go and find someone else and you too.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by mercy87(f): 10:07pm On Feb 21, 2020
People no dey read? She is not his sister so how can it be incest? They're just from the same village. Igbos just too get tradition abeg. From osu now this!

15 Likes

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by TemmyT002(m): 10:07pm On Feb 21, 2020
This is deep o
Married people with experience have advised that it is not wise to ignore the elders like your parents when it comes to marriage.

If you can do all the wedding stuffs yourself, go and do it and marry her jare

If we are all children of Eve and Adam, are we all committing incest? If there is no proof that she is directly related to you, marry the girl jor
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Reelmii: 10:07pm On Feb 21, 2020
youthful exorbitant... continue arguing with ur ancestors very soon u will argue with ur balls

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Nobody: 10:07pm On Feb 21, 2020
Mandem12:
I had to open a new account for this, pardon me for Punctuation errors. I have to go straight to the point so as not to bore you... My story goes thus

I'm a young man of 25. I met this very beautiful girl, aged 23 now, we've dated 4 years now. She's so humble, the love grew out of nowhere. She does everything a woman would do for a man and I do everything a man will do for a woman.

I found myself not doing anything without her and she cannot do anything without involving me, we actually love each other very much.

She started pestering me to have a blood oath with her because she was scared I would leave her. I laughed it off cos I knew I wouldn't cheat on her, she is everything I wanted in a woman.

Trouble started when I brought her home to meet my parents, I was actually happy that I had found my wife...

When she left, my father asked me where she was from, and I told him and my father told me I can't marry her because she was from the same village with me and thereby related by blood thereby marrying her is an abomination that she was my sister so to say and said our kinsmen would not be Involved if I insist on marrying her... I felt my world crumbling down like a pack of cards...

I told my girl and she was like, it's an old tradition and nobody will dictate to her who she would marry and she loves me and there was no going back...

As a man, I thought about it and wanted to let her go because I wouldn't want the stigma to be on us and my unborn kids... I showed her some attitude to make her hate me but she didn't, rather she would rather beg me not to leave her even when I'm at fault. I feel bad anytime I do anything to hurt her feelings...

Now, I actually want to get her pregnant and damn the consequences, do a court wedding if the need arises and relocate with her out from our state and start a new life elsewhere...

Another mind is telling me to let her go so we can move on with our lives, or even be a fugitive for her... I however know she will hurt herself if I leave her... I'm very confused about everything, I seriously need help... Why is Igbo tradition this way? I found love with this girl, now everything is about to be stripped away from me, just like that... I seriously need an advice please...

I love this girl so much and she make me happy


Please move this to front page so I can hear from others please...


Aru...


Amadioha kugbue gi.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Jms85(m): 10:08pm On Feb 21, 2020
pls bro...I advise u obey ur dad/ppl.....most marriages lyk dese end in disasters.. try talk to ur gir
l to see reasons....

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Ikjosh04: 10:08pm On Feb 21, 2020
michlins:
in this situation, you're told that she's literally your own sister. Where on Earth is incest okay. This is what happens when family don't communicate and tell their kids where their root starts and ends. If you like, pregnant her, she will still be your sister and it's not changing the fact that you can't marry her



Hey, you don't entirely understand what the op implies with his write up. That same tradition exist in my village and its not as if all of us in the village/quarter's are related. When I asked my grandmum she said our fore forefathers that's more than 1000yrs ago settled in that village as siblings and they keep procreating, so we're all related in one way or the other.
@op, if you ask me. I feel the tradition is thrash. If you know you're successful, a Christian and you are sure you won't need the help(in terms of politics, investment and other needs that may arise in the future) of your village people or community for anything in life or better still you are planning to leave Nigeria for good. Then you can go ahead and marry the girl.

What's the parents of the girl saying?

2 Likes

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Nobody: 10:08pm On Feb 21, 2020
mercy87:
People no dey read? She is not his sister so how can it be incest? They're just from the same village. Igbos just too get tradition abeg. From osu now this!

Just shut and stop commenting on what you're Ignorant of.

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by seunak2016: 10:08pm On Feb 21, 2020
sacx:
Quick question: Are you a yahoo boy? angry
ur poiint?how is that related to advice op needed
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Mathiasa(m): 10:08pm On Feb 21, 2020
U dated for 4yrs and u never asked her where she's from abi? What exactly were u guys always discoursing all this while?
Abeg I don't believe this story.

10 Likes

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Strika22(m): 10:09pm On Feb 21, 2020
MorataFC:
even if that tradition is against God?

So indulging in incest is not against God

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Nickshrapnel: 10:11pm On Feb 21, 2020
How are you guys related, is it because you came from the same village?
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Samofamo: 10:12pm On Feb 21, 2020
Hear your mama hear your papa,life go better for you...
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by sloo1: 10:12pm On Feb 21, 2020
That is incestuous marriage. It is abomination in most cultures both within and outside Nigeria. Do not yield to that and cease having sexual relationship with your sister.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Mandem12: 10:12pm On Feb 21, 2020
Mathiasa:
U dated for 4yrs and u never asked her where she's from abi? What exactly were u guys always discoursing all this while?
Abeg I don't believe this story.
I knew we were from the same village but didn't know about the tradition

1 Like

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Ishilove: 10:12pm On Feb 21, 2020
Mandem12:

I'm a young man of 25. I met this very beautiful girl, aged 23 now, we've dated 4 years now. She's so humble, the love grew out of nowhere. She does everything a woman would do for a man and I do everything a man will do for a woman.

I found myself not doing anything without her and she cannot do anything without involving me, we actually love each other very much.

She started pestering me to have a blood oath with her because she was scared I would leave her. I laughed it off cos I knew I wouldn't cheat on her, she is everything I wanted in a woman.

Trouble started when I brought her home to meet my parents, I was actually happy that I had found my wife...

When she left, my father asked me where she was from, and I told him and my father told me I can't marry her because she was from the same village with me and thereby related by blood thereby marrying her is an abomination that she was my sister so to say and said our kinsmen would not be Involved if I insist on marrying her... I felt my world crumbling down like a pack of cards...

Historically the two of you share a common ancestor, which makes her your relation. While this may have been permitted in some religious books, culturally it is a taboo in some areas like yours.

Let her go and don't mess with things you cannot understand. Love is blind, love is powerful, love is sweet, but na inside marriage eye dey clear.

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by israelmao(m): 10:12pm On Feb 21, 2020
Love is stronger than death,I can see you love this girl genuinely but I will not advise you to go against your father's stand rather find ways you can make him and his kinmen understand by asking some questions about your family descent to probably see how remotely related you are with girl's family.Modernity is obscuring some set of traditions nowadays for the new ways of life.Don't force your way through it, apply wisdom in making them see good reasons,who knows whether you could be the first exemption to the rule.Good luck.

2 Likes

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Tonyspecial(m): 10:13pm On Feb 21, 2020
Mandem12:
I had to open a new account for this, pardon me for Punctuation errors. I have to go straight to the point so as not to bore you... My story goes thus

I'm a young man of 25. I met this very beautiful girl, aged 23 now, we've dated 4 years now. She's so humble, the love grew out of nowhere. She does everything a woman would do for a man and I do everything a man will do for a woman.

I found myself not doing anything without her and she cannot do anything without involving me, we actually love each other very much.

She started pestering me to have a blood oath with her because she was scared I would leave her. I laughed it off cos I knew I wouldn't cheat on her, she is everything I wanted in a woman.

Trouble started when I brought her home to meet my parents, I was actually happy that I had found my wife...

When she left, my father asked me where she was from, and I told him and my father told me I can't marry her because she was from the same village with me and thereby related by blood thereby marrying her is an abomination that she was my sister so to say and said our kinsmen would not be Involved if I insist on marrying her... I felt my world crumbling down like a pack of cards...

I told my girl and she was like, it's an old tradition and nobody will dictate to her who she would marry and she loves me and there was no going back...

As a man, I thought about it and wanted to let her go because I wouldn't want the stigma to be on us and my unborn kids... I showed her some attitude to make her hate me but she didn't, rather she would rather beg me not to leave her even when I'm at fault. I feel bad anytime I do anything to hurt her feelings...

Now, I actually want to get her pregnant and damn the consequences, do a court wedding if the need arises and relocate with her out from our state and start a new life elsewhere...

Another mind is telling me to let her go so we can move on with our lives, or even be a fugitive for her... I however know she will hurt herself if I leave her... I'm very confused about everything, I seriously need help... Why is Igbo tradition this way? I found love with this girl, now everything is about to be stripped away from me, just like that... I seriously need an advice please...

I love this girl so much and she make me happy


Please move this to front page so I can hear from others please...
follow ur heart, forget about what people say
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Blisplendor12(f): 10:13pm On Feb 21, 2020
If you guys are related just like your father said, don't try marrying her because even God will blame you

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Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by pocohantas(f): 10:13pm On Feb 21, 2020
Any Nigerian lady that marries a man against his family’s wish is not very realistic.

If a woman’s family doesn’t like a man, he will survive as she is the one coming into his and women will most likely put their home/marriage before family.

If a man’s family doesn’t like you, you will most likely not survive it as a woman. It is only a matter of time, he will bend to his family’s will.


I have no problem with you, I have a problem with the girl that doesn’t know what she is getting into. Controversial marriage background + non-support of in laws = ticking time bomb.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by SoNature(m): 10:13pm On Feb 21, 2020
72Morale:
No matter how stubborn and wise you think you are; Don't ever go against tradition and against your family wishes once it has to do with marriage.

Love isn't even one of the top 5 things to consider in marriage because it's just a self-deceptive word that does not contribute anything to a marriage.

The emboldened is false

Love is the foundation of marriage

Perhaps you have never experienced it before

Although many factors matter in marriage, love is the fulcrum

OP, don't marry her. You guys should see less of each other until you finally move on.

Don't get the poor girl into trouble in the name of love.

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Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by YorubaLord: 10:14pm On Feb 21, 2020
Okoro tradition na wah ooo.

Savages & Cannibals everywhere angry
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by YorubaLord: 10:15pm On Feb 21, 2020
pocohantas:
Any Nigerian lady that marries a man against his family’s wish is not very realistic.

If a woman’s family doesn’t like a man, he will survive as she is the one coming into his and women will most likely put their home/marriage before family.

If a man’s family doesn’t like you, you will most likely not survive it as a woman. It is only a matter of time, he will bend to his family’s will.


I have no problem with you, I have a problem with the girl that doesn’t know what she is getting into. Controversial marriage background + non-support of in laws, ticking time bomb.

2 Likes

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by FreebiesGRAM: 10:16pm On Feb 21, 2020
Thank your star you havent done blood oat...

1 Like

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by mercy87(f): 10:16pm On Feb 21, 2020
MelesZenawi:


Just shut and stop commenting on what you're Ignorant of.

Gtfoh idiat and compound Buffon.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by sacx: 10:16pm On Feb 21, 2020
seunak2016:
ur poiint?how is that related to advice op needed

Are you the OP? No? The door!

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